r/CasualUK Oct 06 '22 Take My Energy 1

"I am reading" email signature

Work has insisted that we all add a signature line to our emails to say which book we are reading.

Book name and author.

E.g I am reading "And It Was Beautiful" - Phil Hay

While I love reading, I find this kind of thing very silly a bit authoritarian. I'm also convinced that management have never read a book in their lives.

Does anyone have suggestions for amusing/punny/hidden meaning book titles that we could use in form of silent protest and slight mockery of the whole thing?

Currently several of us have added "1984 - George Orwell"

Over to you...!

Edit: thank you, these are all brilliant!

And I agree... It's pointless nonsense...

Edit 2: I didn't expect this to blow up quite so much, but thank you! Some absolutely genius ideas!

9.1k Upvotes

854

u/jdl_uk Oct 06 '22

Knock 'Em Dead: The Ultimate Job Search Guide By Martin Yate

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4.4k

u/Douglesfield_ Oct 06 '22 Helpful

How to Work for an Idiot - John Hoover PHD

576

u/A1sauc3d Oct 06 '22

Loudly Protesting with this one lol

432

u/ThisTimeIChoose Oct 06 '22

If OP wanted to annoy a broader sweep, there’s also Surrounded by Idiots, by Thomas Erikson.

85

u/Alkanen Oct 06 '22

Though in fairness, no-one ought to promote that pseudo-scientific drivel, not even for laughs.

49

u/ThisTimeIChoose Oct 06 '22

Haha! That’s the most damning one line review I’ve seen for a book in a long while! I have a copy, and it does seem a little reductive. As for the science behind it (or lack thereof), I’ll take your word for it. 🙂

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u/clara_belle1366 Oct 06 '22

Just list books about serial killers and then follow up with forensic science and gardening.

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u/poopio 😬 Oct 06 '22 Silver Wholesome

I have a book called 'Eat Thy Neighbour - A History of Cannibalism'. Came home one day and the missus' mum had rearranged the bookshelf. The cannibalism book ended up in the food section.

1.1k

u/princess_skate_7 Oct 06 '22 Helpful

She has a good sense of humour or is trying to tell you something.

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u/Morella_xx Oct 06 '22 All-Seeing Upvote

I have a book about plant-based poisons that I like to keep with my cookbooks. Only one guest has noticed so far, but it makes me laugh anyway and that's what counts.

20

u/poopio 😬 Oct 06 '22

I do hope they noticed at a dinner party.

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u/RudePragmatist Polite unless faced with stupidity Oct 06 '22

Lol this is great

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u/bettingthoughts Oct 06 '22 edited Oct 06 '22

Just put war and peace or Ulysses and leave it forever

722

u/guiscardv Oct 06 '22

Or Decline and fall of the Roman Empire, you can even occasionally update the volume to show progress

331

u/DS_Monkfish Oct 06 '22

And occasionally go back a volume or two

236

u/Krakshotz Oct 06 '22

Or just out of order to take the piss

160

u/Glittering-Walrus228 Oct 06 '22

if you read the book backwards you can pretend rome just had a rough go at it at first and picked itself back up

94

u/hotdogstastegood Oct 06 '22

Before finally being destroyed by two brothers who go on to suck wolf tiddies.

37

u/Glittering-Walrus228 Oct 06 '22 Wholesome

dont read it too closely backwards (is this how books work?) or else R&R are spitting milk back inside the wolf titties

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325

u/palebluedot365 Oct 06 '22

The Hungry Caterpillar and leave it forever

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u/A_Mr_Veils Oct 06 '22

Put Finnegans Wake, and start screaming incoherently whenever your colleagues try and talk to you

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434

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '22 edited Oct 15 '22

[deleted]

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u/MeRedditGood Aye, nah, but... Oct 06 '22

E-mail for Dummies - John R. Levine

942

u/fixitmonkey Oct 06 '22 Helpful

How to lie with statistics - Darrell Huff

I kept that book on display on my desk for over a year. When people would ask for project updates or metrics I used to (very obviously) reach for it.

432

u/Devrol Oct 06 '22

I used to have a book called "How to deal with people you can't stand". Never read it, just picked it up and opened it sometimes when people would come over to talk to me.

190

u/Neemulus Oct 06 '22

I have this book. I bought it whilst an airport getting on a plane with a guy that was useless and annoying to work with. We had to sit together and I read it instead of talking to him. I’m convinced he didn’t get the message.

62

u/Devrol Oct 06 '22 edited Oct 06 '22

I was given it by a coworker who was leaving. I have no idea if he'd ever read it or had just been leaving in his cubicle to be seen.

87

u/MIUInterface Oct 06 '22

I was given it by a coworker who was leaving

So you didn't get the hint either, then?

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u/bbbbbbbro Oct 06 '22 Silver Gold Helpful Wholesome

The Argos catalogue

499

u/Next_Assignment1159 Oct 06 '22

Needs to be a good year though like 1988 when it was super hefty!

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u/Capr1ce Oct 06 '22

The book of dreams!

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u/Dannypan Oct 06 '22 Silver All-Seeing Upvote

Love Worth Making: How to Have Ridiculously Great Sex in a Long-Lasting Relationship, by Stephen Snyder, M.D.

Birth Control Is Sinful in the Christian Marriages and also Robbing God of Priesthood Children!!, by Ms. Eliyzabeth Yanne Strong-Anderson

Natural Bust Enlargement with Total Mind Power: How to Use the Other 90% of Your Mind to Increase the Size of Your Breasts, by Donald L. Wilson. Especially great if you're a man.

and my favourite

Helping the Retarded to Know God: A Guide for Christian Teachers of the Mentally Handicapped, by Hans Raymond Hahn and Werner H. Raasch

475

u/benham_benham Oct 06 '22 Wholesome GOAT

Reminds me of a long standing entrant on my Amazon wish list:

How to Good-bye Depression: If You Constrict Anus 100 Times Everyday. Malarkey? or Effective Way? by Hiroyuki Nishigaki

244

u/FlakeReality Oct 06 '22 edited Oct 06 '22

I love old timey books with long ass titles. My favorite is one of the books that inspired the creation of Dungeons and Dragons:

Little Wars: A Game for boys from twelve years of age to one hundred and fifty and for that more intelligent sort of girls who like boy's games and books, by H.G. Wells.

Yes, that H.G. Wells. His kid wanted him to play army man but with little kid rules, so Wells proceeded to absolutely ruin the game by creating a set of strict rules that no tiny child could enjoy.

79

u/FourEyedTroll Oct 06 '22

I love old timey books with long ass titles.

How about this 17th century cracker...

Animadversions of Warre, Or a Militarie Magazine of the Truest Rules and Ablest Instructions for the Managing of Warre, Composed of the Most Refined Discipline and Choice Experiments that These Late Netherlandish and Swedish Warres Have Produced, with Divers New Inventions Both of Fortifications and Stratagems, as Also Sundry Collections Taken Out of the Most Approved Authors, Ancient and Moderne, Either in Greeke, Latine, Italian, French, Spanish, Dutch Or English - by Robert Ward

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u/love_you_by_suicide Oct 06 '22

Man was on beast mode

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u/Scared_Cookie_6468 Oct 06 '22

There’s the book “she comes first: a step by step guide (with diagrams) on giving oral”. Hilarious read out at parties

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u/suuupreddit Oct 06 '22 edited Oct 06 '22

Incidentally, I would also recommend that book for its intended purpose.

Not as good as that one Nina Hartley video, but useful nonetheless.

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u/myawn Oct 06 '22

I remember doing some work experience at an engineering place when I was 14 years old. They sit me at the desk of a woman who is on holiday for the week. I open the desk drawer to borrow a pen and find a book called 'Shag yourself slim'. Great bit of lunchtime reading!

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u/isle394 Oct 06 '22

That last one had me in stitches

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u/wulfgold Oct 06 '22 Wholesome

Industrial society and its future" Theodore Kaczynski.

120

u/Gutsm3k I hate Irn Bru, don't tell anyone Oct 06 '22

Alternately if you're feeling sneaky, put down one of his maths papers

131

u/Jetbooster Oct 06 '22

(best known for his other work)

89

u/Hygienic_Sucrose Oct 06 '22

Has to be a contender for the best footnote in an academic paper of all time

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u/Advanced_Cap Oct 06 '22

phenomenal suggestion

191

u/wulfgold Oct 06 '22

Freely available on .pdf you could probably link it in your sig ;)

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u/hideonkush Oct 06 '22

Better known for other work

42

u/VodkaMargarine Oct 06 '22

Yeah some of his other work really blew up

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2.3k

u/Hopeless-beginner Oct 06 '22 Silver

The Tiger Who Came For A Pint - Sean Lock

421

u/a3minutehero Oct 06 '22

He wanted a beer that packed a punch, like Kronenburg.

326

u/punsize Oct 06 '22

Not Carling, of course, that was too weak and gassy.

45

u/BatteryPoweredPigeon Oct 06 '22

And the cabby said "AH YOU MENTOL?"

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u/adchick Oct 06 '22

You can’t write tears Jimmy

294

u/punsize Oct 06 '22

He liked the atmosphere of a Wetherspoon’s plus, he was barred from the King’s Head for mauling the darts team.

89

u/DoctorOctagonapus Man struggling to put up his umbrella Oct 06 '22

He was thirsty, and needed something to wash down the zookeeper he'd just eaten.

174

u/lost_scotsman Oct 06 '22

"You silly bollocks"

139

u/Sharamik Oct 06 '22

He'd spent all his money, but he didn't half have a thirst on.

102

u/DimensionalYawn Oct 06 '22

So he drank all the beer in the taps, and he ate all the meat in the meat raffle. And then he went to toilet on the bar.

36

u/GoshDarnMamaHubbard Oct 06 '22

Then he went to toilet on the bar.

150

u/kenkenam Oct 06 '22

I read all of the replies to this in Sean's voice <3

200

u/DansSpamJavelin Oct 06 '22

RIP Undisputed Carrot In A Box Champion

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1.9k

u/RainbowPenguin1000 Oct 06 '22 Helpful

Management will list books about management and leadership in their signature when really they’re reading Clifford The Big Red Dog.

401

u/biggbabyg Oct 06 '22

Clifford the Big Red Dog is a fun idea for OP’s signature, too! lol

571

u/octopoddle Oct 06 '22 edited Oct 06 '22

Clifford the Big Red Dog for several weeks, then Flowers for Algernon, then Advanced Neuroscience, then back to Clifford the Big Red Dog.

47

u/Falcon10301 Oct 06 '22

Brilliant!

27

u/Lexplosives Oct 06 '22

Perfection.

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u/pchapman Oct 06 '22

"I am still reading Clifford the Big Red Dog"

Permanent signature.

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145

u/Ishmael128 Oct 06 '22

Eurgh, in the midst of lockdown, someone asked what books people would recommend, and for the most part he responses were genuine, but for the ambitious social mountaineers it was all “the Art of War by Sun Tsu” and other bollocks.

67

u/Humble_Hobbyist Oct 06 '22

Funnily enough it’s a really short book.

20

u/deepoctarine Oct 06 '22

Not read it but at a wild guess...
Step 1: Kill the enemy
Step 2: Repeat Step 1
????

47

u/SlangFreak Oct 06 '22

I've read it, and the book actually starts with something to the effect of "it is better to win without going to war". Basically, war is a last resort, and diplomacy and subterfuge should be the preferred foreign policy.

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u/V65Pilot Oct 06 '22

The Art of war was actually pretty good. Although I struggled with it a bit. Zen and the Art of motorcycle maintenance was a deep dive into my psyche that made me rethink a few things.

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u/Realistic_Decision99 Oct 06 '22 Helpful

Bullshit jobs by David Graeber

109

u/Hythy Oct 06 '22

I used to leave that on my desk at the job I hated.

Also accepted would've been "On Bullshit" By Harry Frankfurt.

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u/ass_scar Oct 06 '22

Also, The Subtle Art of Not Giving A Fuck by Mark Manson

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498

u/thenooneconundrum Oct 06 '22

Surrounded by Idiots - Thomas Erikson

Toilet Paper Origami - Linda Wright

Art of War - Sun Tzu

157

u/SphericalWatermelon Oct 06 '22

Surrounded by Idiots - Thomas Erikson

My office currently has copies of that available (for free) as part of their monthly book club. Is it any good? I know my ex-wife has read it.

Wait. Am I the idiot surrounding everyone?

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u/UKflame Oct 06 '22

Its an interesting read. Details the different personality types & why they might appear to be idiots, but they're not really.

Except for the actual idiots, that is.

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u/ThatBoyNeedsTherapy1 Oct 06 '22 edited Oct 06 '22

It has been domestically torn apart by both the general public and psychologists alike here in Sweden. Due to the amount of pseudoscience and the fact that poor recruiters actually resorted to using it when assessing candidates for workplaces. 🙄

The book is dead and buried over here! The title has ricocheted onto the author and everyone who takes it seriously 😅

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u/ahorne155 Oct 06 '22

"A problem downstairs" by Jenny Tullworts

1.5k

u/cheesecake_squared Oct 06 '22 Silver Helpful

Universal Declaration of Human Rights. Article 12 - United Nations

727

u/Kanzuke Oct 06 '22

No one shall be subjected to arbitrary interference with his privacy, family, home or correspondence, nor to attacks upon his honour and reputation. Everyone has the right to the protection of the law against such interference or attacks.

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u/HenryCGk Oct 06 '22

In the UK force of law for that issue is had by European Convention on Human Rights Article 8 – Right to respect for private and family life

  1. Everyone has the right to respect for his private and family life, his home and his correspondence.

  2. There shall be no interference by a public authority with the exercise of this right except such as is in accordance with the law and is necessary in a democratic society in the interests of national security, public safety or the economic well-being of the country, for the prevention of disorder or crime, for the protection of health or morals, or for the protection of the rights and freedoms of others.

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387

u/Workingclass_owl Oct 06 '22 Narwhal Salute

Razzle Readers Wives annual 1988

169

u/60svintage Oct 06 '22

I knew someone who would have done that.

When corporate told the workers to bring their favourite thing to work. She brought her vibrator and put it on her desk.

117

u/Npr31 Oct 06 '22

Her name wasn’t Lorraine by any chance? Worked with someone similar who, when sat working next to her as an innocent 19year old, she pulled out anal beads and 3 dildos from her hand bag to proudly show them off … life has never felt quite as bright after that

150

u/Veeoh-is-back Oct 06 '22

she pulled out anal beads and 3 dildos

OMFG

>from her hand bag

Phew.

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u/Theesundayroast Oct 06 '22

Somehow I manage - Michael G. Scott

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u/rc7632 Oct 06 '22

This should be on everyone’s

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u/Dazpiece Oct 06 '22

Followed by "Threat Level Midnight" - Michael Scott

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u/tonberry89 Oct 06 '22 Wholesome

“My emails”

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u/docju Oct 06 '22

How to cook for forty humans by Kang and Kodos

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385

u/wotugonado Oct 06 '22

"How to commit the perfect murder" Dr D, Eath

214

u/occasionalrant414 Oct 06 '22

Someone I worked with had the surname D'eath. Honest to god her daughter was a PhD and was Dr. D'eath.

I also have a friend with a PhD called Dr Payne.

140

u/ellemeno_ Oct 06 '22

I used to know a Police Officer called Constable Sergeant.

103

u/blodgute Oct 06 '22

Surely in that position you'd do everything in your power to get promoted

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u/bagseye_two Oct 06 '22

You may be surprised to hear that there is a surname very similar, De’Ath

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u/Spiry Oct 06 '22

Where I work we have both a Mr D'Eath (happens to be my line manager), and a Mr De'Ath.

The first is pronounced deeth, the second is dee-ath.

17

u/tttxgq Oct 06 '22

Do you work at a mortuary?

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u/Unique_Luck_817 Oct 06 '22

Go the Fuck to Sleep - Adam Mansbach

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411

u/nuttydogpoo Two Minutes Turkish. Oct 06 '22

Fly Fishing by J.R. Hartley

Parachute Jump by Will.E.Makeit

Control your bladder by I. P. Freely

95

u/Nick_Rymell Oct 06 '22

How to jump off a cliff by Hugo First

93

u/S01arflar3 Oct 06 '22

Actually that was written by Eileen Dover, it gets mis-attributed to Hugo quite a bit. Hugo First wrote The Haunted House

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u/UKflame Oct 06 '22

"Sliding down bannisters" by Itora Bollokoff

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u/Pearoni Oct 06 '22

I can't work out the top one

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u/sobrique Oct 06 '22

That's because it's not a pun, it's a reference to an old yellow pages ad. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CeicexenTmU

Which then caused someone to write the book, and publish it as a pseudonym.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fly_Fishing:_Memories_of_Angling_Days

121

u/Sboogles Oct 06 '22

It was from an old yellow pages advert on the Tele. An old dude was looking for a copy of the book "Fly Fishing" by JR Hartley and when someone had it they asked him his name.

It was J.R. Hartley.

It was his own book.

This passed for humour in the 90's. We also used to use big yellow books and telephones to ring bookshops

55

u/DangersVengeance Cracking Toast, Gromit Oct 06 '22

We also stood on them to kiss under the mistletoe if we weren’t tall enough.

46

u/Alpaca_Tasty_Picnic Oct 06 '22

In an amusing aside, thanks to the advert a publisher actually bought out a book by that title. Our library had a copy. Very handy for when 'hilarious' people used to ask for it...

"Have you got 'Fly Fishing' by JR Hartley? hurrrr hurrrrr hurrr" "Yes." Hands them book "Anything else?"

42

u/MonkeyVsPigsy Oct 06 '22

It wasn’t meant to be funny, it was meant to be heart warming.

Also want it the 80s?

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u/thethirdbar Oct 06 '22

This passed for humour in the 90's.

Was it meant to be humourous? i don't think it was - it was designed to be heartwarming & nostalgic, surely? Like the John Lewis ads of today.

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u/yallbegood Oct 06 '22

https://youtu.be/CeicexenTmU

An old and charming advertisement for a tome from bygone times.

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u/Watsonians Oct 06 '22

Tragedy on the Cliff by Eileen Dover

Deep in the Forest by Theresa Green

The Babysitter by Justin Casey Howells

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u/Cortillian Oct 06 '22

Rusty bed springs by I. P. Knightley

27

u/AlanWardrobe Oct 06 '22

Parachute Jump by Will.E.Makeit

Illustrated by Betty Won't

28

u/Bored-Fish00 Oct 06 '22

Being Prepared by Justin Case

24

u/Hour-Salamander-4713 Oct 06 '22

Lion Taming by Claude Balls

71

u/Sockhorror Oct 06 '22

The Babies Revenge by Nora Titoff

16

u/Birdfish82 Oct 06 '22

‘How to feed your dog’ By Nora Bone

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60

u/pretend-its-good Oct 06 '22

Management for dummies - bob nelson and peter economy

The subtle art of not giving a fuck - mark manson

The spirit level - richard wilkinson and kate pocket

Surrounded by idiots - thomas erikson

Rising above a toxic workplace - gary chapman, paul white and harold myra

Working with difficult people - amy cooper hakim and murial solomon

Kill your boss - shane kuhn

How to work for an idiot - john hoover

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271

u/byjimini Oct 06 '22

UK Employment Law

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261

u/Dod_gee Oct 06 '22

The Anarchist Cookbook

45

u/Aldred309uk Oct 06 '22

Some good reading there, I downloaded it whilst at college but sadly lost track of the copy!

36

u/Omg_Shut_the_fuck_up Oct 06 '22

Had it on a floppy disk....

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u/valvenisv2 Oct 06 '22

Baffled at why they want you to do this unless you work for a book company.

Standard pointless office shite

261

u/damadmetz Oct 06 '22

What if you’re not reading a book?

I’m not currently reading a book.

Is this weird?

Is everyone else currently reading a book?

103

u/Tieger66 Oct 06 '22

i read a lot of books, always have.

that still doesnt mean i'd want my colleagues to know some of the shit i read. if discussing reading with them, i mention *good* books i've read over the last few years.

52

u/pontifecks Oct 06 '22

I read from a Kindle, and since there's no physical book coverI commonly get asked "What are you reading?"

It's embarrassing how often I feel the need to try and remember a proper book to pretend I'm reading rather than replying the truth - "The 12th book in a series of trashy entertaining Sci-Fi about an Asshole AI kicking alien ass"

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u/-Lemoncholy- Oct 06 '22

Because the manager is probably reading his first book, and wants to show off about it

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u/ellafantile Oct 06 '22

I’m a librarian and I find this weird. But for us, it would turn into a competition of who can change it the most during the year to see who’d read the most books…

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u/K44no Oct 06 '22

Also, are they supposed to update it whenever they finish one? Pointless office shite is about the worst thing about working in an office job

15

u/runawayasfastasucan Oct 06 '22

I just don't get why it feels like they put endless hurdles to pass before you get to do your job.

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u/Antilles34 Oct 06 '22

"I have no mouth, and I must scream." - Harlan Ellison

23

u/fuzzydogpaws Oct 06 '22

A great way to spread existential dread amongst your co-workers.

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u/Blandiblub Oct 06 '22

The Satanic Bible by Anton LaVey.

76

u/TryNotToBridezilla Oct 06 '22

You could go more subtle with Speak of the Devil by Joseph P Laycock or The Revolt of the Angels by Anatole France

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u/Robert-Phanny Oct 06 '22

How I Made a Million Overnight by Rob Banks.

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u/_scorp_ Oct 06 '22

I think you’ll find it was his brother Robin

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u/OndAngel Oct 06 '22

If you want some good ones, give “disturbing children's books” a google search.

Some of my favourites that showed up: - Lucy Lickalotopus Goes Down South - How to Traumatise Your Children - Where Willy Went - Just The Tip (The Pen Fifteen Club)

They all seem to be available on Amazon if you want to go the extra mile to say “see? I AM reading Lucy Lickalotopus!”

Enjoy. :)

83

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '22

[deleted]

45

u/Vivid_Bluebird_4222 Oct 06 '22

Are we not doing phrasing anymore?

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u/Sophie7350 Oct 06 '22

Where Willy Went was always cause for amusement at my first job at a place which supplied books to libraries. The same author also has one called “More and More Rabbits” which follows a similar theme

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u/OurSoulsAreCheap2Day Oct 06 '22 edited Oct 06 '22

My workplace asked for everyone's nicknames to go in a staff presentation. We said to the boss (let's call him Peter) that we didn't have nicknames. He insisted, and suggested if we didn't have one we should make one up. So, one of my colleagues chose the nickname 'Peter's a cunt'.

117

u/benjymous Forth Tyne, Low to High Pressure, losing identity by dawn. Oct 06 '22

There's a big list of Fictional books here:

https://list.fandom.com/wiki/List_of_fictional_books

(Books that don't exist, but are just mentioned in other stories, etc)

100

u/Morovsk Oct 06 '22

This is a good idea. I did consider putting some of the Skyrim book titles...

126

u/Ollylolz Oct 06 '22

The Lusty Argonian Maid is a real page turner

29

u/Rape-Putins-Corpse Oct 06 '22

You say that but my pages got stuck together.

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u/benjymous Forth Tyne, Low to High Pressure, losing identity by dawn. Oct 06 '22

You could also just bluff massively - grab a copy of this book, actually read it (it really will only take an evening), then cycle through the books it mentions. If anyone asks you about what you think of whatever great literature you're pretending to currently be on, you should have enough to give some vague noncomittal thoughts

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Become-Ridiculously-Well-Read-Evening-Encapsulations/dp/0140074511

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u/DreddPirateBob808 Oct 06 '22

The Sandman comics have some brilliant books that were only written in dreams in Morpheus' library.

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u/slothpeguin Oct 06 '22

List some raunchy romance titles.

“The Knave and his Knight”

“The Millionaire’s Baby”

“Sweat in the Sahara”

Etc.

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u/RoyceCoolidge Oct 06 '22

SWEDISH-MADE PENIS ENLARGER PUMPS AND ME: (This Sort of Thing Is My Bag , Baby)

By Austin Powers

99

u/BeardedBaldMan Oct 06 '22 edited Oct 06 '22

The Sheep Look Up - John Brunner

How to be a dictator - Frank Dikotter

How to lose friends and alienate people - Toby Young

Kill Your Friends - John Niven

22

u/mega_ste 🕹️ Oct 06 '22

The Stone That Never Came Down - (also by) John Brunner is another good one by him, with apt themes in the current ah, situation

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122

u/sumerzy Oct 06 '22

Business secrets of the phaorohs by Mark Corrigan

21

u/45thgeneration_roman Oct 06 '22

Add a footnote that you have dozens of copies available if anyone wants to buy one

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194

u/DigestiveCow Oct 06 '22

The communist manifesto by Karl Marx

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24

u/Snoo_44026 Oct 06 '22

God is not Great by Christopher Hitchens

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23

u/Idkseemsweird Oct 06 '22

The Free Will Delusion - James B. Miles

101

u/gogul1980 Oct 06 '22

You should just put “I am reading my Gas Bill - hoping to reach the bottom by next summer!”

27

u/JandsomeHam Oct 06 '22

True workplace humour

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u/TheSkewed A Yorkshireman in Wales Oct 06 '22

Anything by Chuck Tingle.

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u/RandomHigh Oct 06 '22

My Pool Gets Me Wet In A Completely Platonic Way And Now We Are Close Friends

That one!

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u/swankybiscuits Oct 06 '22

Get the 'idiots guide' for whatever your job is.

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u/akarxqueen Oct 06 '22

Orwell’s Animal farm would be a nice touch I think

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u/General_Cluster Oct 06 '22

The Communist Manifesto

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u/Floppy76 Oct 06 '22

“A world without work”: https://www.theguardian.com/books/2020/jan/09/world-without-work-david-susskind-review

I’ve worked for some companies with daft ideas in my time, but this idea takes the wanky biscuit.

One place I worked had a bookshelf where each employee added a book (bought by the company, not them) when they joined. Quite a nice idea, not too bad. Everyone before me had added work-related books like “lean startups”, “effective management”, or “how to sell lots of shit”, showing off how dedicated and professional they were.

I added “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy”.

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u/37025InvernessTMD Oct 06 '22

Space Corps Directive 34124

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u/Squirtle177 Oct 06 '22

To force this is stupid, but actually I think the concept is quite a nice idea. Unfortunately they’ve confused carrot and stick and just beat the donkey to death with its favourite treat.

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u/wildassedguess Oct 06 '22

The story of O. That’ll get them talking.

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u/[deleted] Oct 06 '22

[deleted]

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u/SpudFire Oct 06 '22

Sounds like somebody in management has opened a book for the first time since they left school and now suddenly reading is a core personality trait of theirs.

Ten quid says that anybody who puts they're not currently reading anything will get a lecture about how important reading is etc. from the insufferable twat behind this.

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u/Friendly_Physics_690 Oct 06 '22

Somehow I Manage - Michael Scott

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u/Mysterious_Ad_3119 Oct 06 '22

The Subtle Art or Not Giving a F*ck ~ William Richmond

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u/interfail Oct 06 '22

Use real, sensible books but write a script to change them at midday every day.

Make sure your bosses know you got through War and Peace between your 10am and 4pm emails.

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u/qwertylike Oct 06 '22

Don't Tell Mum I Work on the Rigs: (She Thinks I'm a Piano Player in a Whorehouse)

It’s a good laugh and an easy read. Recommend it to all

40

u/MoreCamThanRon Yeah? BOLLOCKS! Oct 06 '22 Wholesome

Come on guys, can't believe this hasn't been mentioned yet!

Belinda Blinked - Rocky Flintstone

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u/auweggh5 Oct 06 '22

The back of the shampoo bottle - John Frieda