r/HolUp 12d ago Wholesome 49 Silver 42 Helpful 44

Holup, Leo DiCaprio...! post flair

Post image
92.0k Upvotes

3.6k

u/Uncle_Yogi420 12d ago

Really hope this is true

2.0k

u/RainbowReadee 12d ago Silver Wholesome

It wasn’t a light saber he was waving around..

1.3k

u/Uncle_Yogi420 12d ago Silver Wholesome

I had been to a highschool party where some guys bought glow in the dark condoms for 'sword fighting' as a way to celebrate the starwars films coming out at the time.

463

u/SarHavelock 12d ago Silver

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

211

u/Nerdy_McFlirty 12d ago

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

104

u/Seth_Imperator 12d ago

Did it felt short of expectations?

272

u/Uncle_Yogi420 12d ago

Just turned into a room full of people standing in the dark watching two men rub their dimly lit penises together

119

u/Seth_Imperator 12d ago

Let's say it depends on the expectations

14

u/Frenchticklers 12d ago

Subverted them, even.

67

u/nompron 12d ago

There's something so funny about thus image I can't stop laughing

25

u/Tane-Tane-mahuta 12d ago

unzips stink, that must have sucked, tell us more about it

26

u/ImmortanFoe 12d ago

I woke my wife up due to laughing at this

21

u/Georgeisthecoolest 12d ago

still a better plot than episodes 7-9

22

u/VAX1S 12d ago

Real men would’ve brought blacklights

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u/nicnic5556 12d ago

WHERE CAN I FIND GLOW IN THE DARK CONDOMS ASKING FOR A FRIEND

7

u/CommiePuddin 12d ago

Turn off the lights it might help.

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u/Monocle_Lewinsky 12d ago

It was his dicksaber.

26

u/Labotomyy 12d ago

Is that what beatsaber is?

28

u/tomtv90 12d ago

No that's a meatsaber

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u/toeofcamell 12d ago

We need answers

23

u/koeniedoenie 12d ago

This is a satire account

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118

u/1ovi 12d ago

it's a satire twitter account

73

u/AmishAvenger 12d ago

The tip-off was that there’s no way DiCaprio doesn’t have his own theater in his house.

10

u/Wrecked--Em 12d ago

likely owns multiple houses with theaters

9

u/mydogsnameisbuddy 12d ago

Exactly. His yacht probably has a giant theater too.

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u/[deleted] 12d ago

A New Hope

20

u/AgentOrangeAO 12d ago

It's from a satire page

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14.4k

u/iCameToLearnSomeCode 12d ago Silver Helpful

If your girl doesn't bring her own lightsaber to that date she's not the one.

6.4k

u/mdNaush 12d ago Silver

My gf has a lightsaber in her drawer. She is the chosen one 😍

7.9k

u/chocpillow 12d ago Silver Gold Helpful All-Seeing Upvote This Spit-take

A lightsaber with 8 speeds and an oscillating head

5.0k

u/mum_puncher 12d ago Silver Helpful Wholesome All-Seeing Upvote

Revenge of the Clith

2.5k

u/Dziadzios 12d ago Silver

The Phallus Menace

1.8k

u/UCONN007 12d ago Silver

The Phallus Awakens

2.0k

u/Lucid_Presence 12d ago Silver Helpful

Empire Strokes Back

1.8k

u/C_Gull27 12d ago Silver

Star Whores Episode IV: A New Hole

1.2k

u/freudsfather 12d ago Silver

Attack of the Moans.

859

u/IlToroArgento 12d ago Silver

Episode 6: Return of the Thick Thighs

Featuring: Jabba the Slut

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473

u/Suspicious-Racoon 12d ago Silver

Episodes of boobs fett

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153

u/alcatraz_ind 12d ago

-S̶i̶t̶h̶- Clit lord

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178

u/lollaser 12d ago

The last Clitwalker

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u/cajungator3 12d ago

The Man-does-Lauran....And Her Friends

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u/Ket0Maniac 12d ago

Spare me my life thread.

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116

u/beo_apd 12d ago

I died to this thread damn

79

u/Lol_Koba 12d ago

I love how it went from clever banter , to straight up porn parodies

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u/No-Cauliflower2831 12d ago

Attack of the boners

28

u/EconomyDebt8130 12d ago

Revenge of the horny

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u/pattyG80 12d ago

Where's R2-Dildo?

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u/MR_Anderson1993 12d ago

Empire strikes bareback

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u/moneyshark1 12d ago

May the phallus be with you…

115

u/kapn_morgan 12d ago

The Phallic Menace

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u/Squirrely11 12d ago

lightsaber sounds

106

u/Icare_FD 12d ago

Errrr… hmmmm… Are Clith not supposed to always go by pairs ?

78

u/LinaMinn 12d ago

A pussy and an asshole.

82

u/Bart_The_Chonk 12d ago

Always two, there are

53

u/call_of_the_while 12d ago

No more, no less.

20

u/xxam925 12d ago

One to wield the light saber with 8 speeds and oscillating head, and one to covet it.

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u/MiestaWieck 12d ago

Only a clith deals in absolutes

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u/st-smelly-widge 12d ago

Revenge of the syph-ilis.

11

u/Mike_millions 12d ago

I actually said it out loud with a lisp DEAD lol

7

u/whoamygod 12d ago

Guess he didn’t meet princess lei-me.

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u/anything15000 12d ago

You deserve all the gold/good and silver in the world my friend

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u/jamalccc 12d ago

Not the chosen one

60

u/unicycling_cheese 12d ago

A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one

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u/Ashrith291 12d ago

Doesn't have the force with her

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10.0k

u/WalnutWhipWilly 12d ago edited 12d ago Silver Helpful Wholesome

“Guys literally only want one thing and it’s fucking disgusting…”

3.1k

u/DaanOnlineGaming 12d ago

epic star wrs ligtsabre battles

Sounds good to me

755

u/AGmikkelsen 12d ago

Friday at sundown?

553

u/[deleted] 12d ago

[deleted]

450

u/AGmikkelsen 12d ago

Where else do you fight with light sabers?

510

u/Kazumadesu76 12d ago

The youngling chambers in the Jedi temple.

180

u/okinamaru 12d ago

Ouch... but haha

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u/Daddys_issues 12d ago

That hit hard ngl

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u/Kazumadesu76 12d ago Party Train

Not as hard as it hit those younglings.

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u/Daddys_issues 12d ago

I hoped someone would say that

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u/Alejandromer 12d ago

Actually... That's not fighting, that's a massacre

48

u/Kazumadesu76 12d ago

You say "potAYto", I say "potAHto".

You say "massacre", they say nothing. They're dead.

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u/yesniyah_sti 12d ago

That’s not allowed. Not a fight

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u/blocked_user_name 12d ago

In front of the millennium falcon at Galaxy's Edge.

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u/That1chicka 12d ago

Just not near sand

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u/Morning-Business 12d ago

i just realized that anakin got cut in half and burned on sand. talk about an intense rivalry.

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u/PrincessSlutFuck 12d ago

Can we assemble another meeting of the Josh's?

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u/playcrossy 12d ago

It wasn't actually a light saber he was waving around...

222

u/smirky_doc 12d ago

Was he holding his "Oscar"

121

u/OobaDaBooba 12d ago

Why is it ok for Leo to run around playing with his Oscar but when I do it I get arrested

32

u/geeschwag 12d ago

His Oscar is an award statue...your Oscar is a gimp wearing leather on a leash

7

u/OobaDaBooba 12d ago

Minor detail

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u/FluffyRacc00n 12d ago

What Oscar, the pink one or the golden one?

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u/smirky_doc 12d ago

Haven't seen it unfortunately

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2.2k

u/Thechuckles79 12d ago Take My Energy

It's his screening process. If she enjoys it, he'll date her again. If she shows up in a Leia slave bikini, he'll propose on the spot.

I mean, if I were him and had women throwing themselves at me like he does, I'd have my own screening process too. You can't be down with me at my geekiest, you don't get me at my most suave.

558

u/Monocle_Lewinsky 12d ago

Apologies for being myself with you around.

202

u/ChaseECarpenter 12d ago

ngl, this otherwise beautiful line has probably been ruined by aholes and creeps

100

u/_el_guachito_ 12d ago

-“sorry you had to see the demon inside of me”-

14

u/gafx3 12d ago

Do you think Leo is a 3 days grace fan?

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u/Greatmambojambo 12d ago

I didn’t know this line exists, but I‘ll start to use it excessively. Definitely don’t fit the “ahole” or “creep” part, though.

Everyone knows I’m awesome and the only people who’d call me a creep don’t even know I’m hiding in the bushes.

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u/Stargazer_199 12d ago

I think I sorta apologize for that but for different words. I have low self esteem andI have been told my entire life I talk too much, so when I feel comfortable enough with someone to just chat about something I enjoy I end up apologizing halfway through for talking so much

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u/Minhtyfresh00 12d ago

his screening process is actually when the girl turns 25 lol

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u/ryan_smith522 12d ago

It's like the movie Audition except the psychotic girlfriend part.

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6.8k

u/respondeatsuperiores 12d ago Wholesome

I’m not into guys, but I’d go on that date.

1.3k

u/Shaved-Ape 12d ago

Absolutely. That sounds like an amazing date!

701

u/__red__5 12d ago

I googled it. A May 2021 article on the web says that it's a runtime of over 25 hours. I'm even more impressed. Is he single now?

441

u/UnicornPrince4U 12d ago edited 12d ago

I doubt she's informed enough to know if it was every single Star Wars movie.

Her story is untrue on the face of it.

Edit: Can we really believe she sat through Caravan of Courage and then didn't excuse herself for The Battle for Endor?

At some point you can't really blame the other person or you press charges for kidnapping.

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u/Je_suis_j_existe 12d ago

People always forogt the ewoks trilogie, but I like it anyway !

29

u/SlickHand 12d ago

I don't think they so much as forget them, but rather put them in the same basket as the holiday special, and arrange them so as to cover that "film" so they forget it instead.

Personally, I like the holiday special. It's a great film to play drinking games with. Take a shot every time someone sings, dances or something just straight up doesn't make any sense which usually covers the singing and dancing parts anyway.

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u/Je_suis_j_existe 12d ago

The difference is that the caravan of courage was made and written by George Lucas, which mean this is more a Lucas movie than Empire Strike Back.

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u/dancingpianofairy 12d ago

Wait, trilogy? I only know of the two.

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u/Bart_The_Chonk 12d ago

Two ewok movies?!

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u/dancingpianofairy 12d ago

Ya, Caravan of Courage and Battle for Endor. There's also two animated movies, a Droid one and an Ewok one. Aaaaaand let's just not talk about the Holiday Special. Kay? Kay.

18

u/Frenchticklers 12d ago

Fun fact: Three out of of the four family members from the first Ewok movie get killed off in the first few minutes of the second one, leaving the little girl an orphan. This is a kid's movie.

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u/JetSetMiner 12d ago

I'll bet it was only the original 3.

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u/gartho38 12d ago

Literally thinking ‘this sounds like the best date! 😂’

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u/KilroyTwitch 12d ago

her loss.

honestly, if I were Leo, the fact she didn't pick up a lightsaber and join in, I'd ask her to leave.

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u/poopellar 12d ago

"I find your lack of faith disturbing"

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u/Toxenkill 12d ago

Ditto.

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u/HockeyCookie 12d ago

She's only put off because it wasn't focused on her

133

u/Monocle_Lewinsky 12d ago

Right! This Camila bitch sounds like a bitch.

90

u/meanbaldy 12d ago

She is a morrone

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u/Rinkashimemo 12d ago

Can confirm, i was the lightsaber

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u/PutinTheChimp 12d ago

Me neither, I had a conversation with a friend a while back if I was to date a dude, it would be Leo

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4.7k

u/dickraasche 12d ago Silver

wow ungrateful

1.7k

u/RosieCheexx 12d ago Silver Wholesome

Fr the audacity of this bitch lol

256

u/youslashuser 12d ago

Lion, witch

108

u/tiexodus 12d ago

Should’ve stuck her in the wardrobe

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u/smileyfrown 12d ago

Well he made her watch 7, 8 and 9 at the end, so... ¯\ (ツ)

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u/Eldr1tchB1rd 12d ago

Nah, these aren't star wars movies. We are only talking about the real ones here

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u/KnotHanSolo 12d ago

I’m also glad they never made a 4th Indiana Jones film.

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u/lentilbean3 12d ago

I see zero problem here

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u/y0bama420 12d ago

The problem was that ungrateful woman.

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13.1k

u/TheBigJohnson420 12d ago Silver Helpful Take My Energy This Vibing To The Stars

I have even more respect for him now

2.6k

u/SirCali 12d ago Helpful

You and me both

770

u/Human-Ad-8389 12d ago

we

487

u/RizKuro94 12d ago

Our

449

u/Ineedapill 12d ago

And my axe!

233

u/day_dr3amer_ 12d ago

And my signature!

191

u/van-just-van 12d ago

thank you sir for donating 7,000 axes to the new Zealand army!

86

u/Fudge1407 12d ago

I will donate my broadswords too!

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u/gdjdndudj 12d ago

I'll donate my blood

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u/[deleted] 12d ago

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u/crapcapp 12d ago

My old spice too!

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u/day_dr3amer_ 12d ago

That's a musk.....err must*

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u/frustrated_penguin 12d ago

no wonder he dumped her ass. Imagine being dissapointed after a date like that.

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u/stgm_at 12d ago

He had the high ground in this relationship.

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u/Naliox 12d ago

Imagine thinking that was for the date, and not just some dope shit Leo wanted to do on a Thursday

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u/frustrated_penguin 12d ago

Imagine not joining Leo in a fight against evil. What a self centered b.

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u/1KarlMarx1 12d ago

It was said that she would destroy the haters not join them! Bring balance to the fanbase not leave it in darkness!

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u/Nitropotamus 12d ago

Worst date? Can I pay for this experience?

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u/Haunting-View-5146 12d ago

Sign me the fuck up!

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u/kcapulet 12d ago

It's not real, from a satire site

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u/Guilty-Message-5661 12d ago

But it’s real to me…. It’s real to me…

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u/opencarrier64 12d ago

I would expect nothing less.

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u/nergoponte 12d ago

This didn’t happen. But it’s too late, this image is spreading like wildfire

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u/Agitatedbaguette 12d ago

The force is strong with this one.

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u/allaskew123 12d ago

That sounds amazing!!

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u/Which_Cardiologist15 12d ago

That's so fucked up and disgusting....

She should have gotten her own lightsaber! Damn, Leo. You fuckin' up.

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u/Life-Yam835 12d ago

She should get a kyber crystal first if she's worthy enough.

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u/Even_Ad113 12d ago

clearly she's not.

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u/Somhairle1314 12d ago

No, a padawan has to build their own lightsaber.

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u/Darthmark3 12d ago

Sounds like the best date ever

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u/TrentSteel1 12d ago

I just want to know if he played Rogue One before or after the original trilogy!?

15

u/usernamenottakenwooh 12d ago

Maybe that's what ruined the date 🤣

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u/edebby 12d ago

That is a good origin story of how I turned gay after being happily straight for 40 years

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u/[deleted] 12d ago

Could make that TED talk my guy

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u/draker585 12d ago Wholesome

how the actual fuck is this a holup

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u/Timo6506 12d ago

Don’t you know? Not much here is a holup these days

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u/ProbablyNotKevin 12d ago

I don't think I've seen an actual holup for a while now.

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u/Ziron78 12d ago

I don't think I've ever seen an actual holup at all in this sub. Have you guys made another holup subreddit with real holups that I can go on ?

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u/dherms14 12d ago

if this is true, then you will have gained my trust leo

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u/Aqquila89 12d ago

It's not true. It comes from Le Cinéphiles, a satire Twitter account.

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u/Lasket madlad 12d ago

Now I'm sad

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u/ReaperHR 12d ago

I'll pretend I didn't see this and believe it to be true

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u/lacha_sawson 12d ago

Sounds like a great date

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u/varysbaldy 12d ago Helpful Wholesome

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u/KarloReddit 12d ago

Leo could now enact that date!!! That would be the most meta thing since the internet

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u/rockbud 12d ago

Noooo, get out of here with facts that hurt

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u/Shady1005 12d ago

I'm not gay.......BUT I'M GAY FOR HIM

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u/CorValidum 12d ago

Man, legend the walking myth…

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u/caesar_3435 12d ago I'll Drink to That

And by the end of it, she was too old for him.

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u/danielpauljohns 12d ago

Even Prince Andrew’s like “C’mon Leo mate”

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u/Otherwise-Manager348 12d ago

I’m not gay but u get me on that date with him and I’d let him do what ever he wanted

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u/MiguelSanchezEsq 12d ago

he sounds fuckin cool man

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u/[deleted] 12d ago Gold Helpful

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u/flapthrasher 12d ago

Just shows you can be Leonardo fucking DiCaprio and women will still find a problem to complain about.

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u/Splattered247 12d ago

While snorting scarface amounts of cocaine

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u/okhons 12d ago

Long ago. In a movie theatre far, far away.

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u/Olivitess 12d ago

That date sounds amazing!