r/MadeMeSmile Oct 06 '22 Silver 10 Gold 1 Helpful 14 Wholesome 32 All-Seeing Upvote 2 Faith In Humanity Restored 3 Ally 1 Heartwarming 2 Wholesome Seal of Approval 1 Wholesome (Pro) 1 You Dropped This 1 Respect 1

Found this under my office door, along with $6

Post image

I work at a sports venue

82.1k Upvotes

15.7k

u/13Jesus Oct 06 '22 Silver Gold Helpful Wholesome Take My Energy hehehehe Facepalm Brighten My Day

~Signed Alex, Age 32

303

u/ashley_blackbird Oct 06 '22

This is literally how my 33 year old husband writes.

1.0k

u/DogDelicious5856 Oct 06 '22

Could be my hand writing fr

273

u/Disappointing-BOGOs Oct 06 '22

It was Alex’s hand writing but his dominant hand was still stuck in the vending machine

125

u/AmericanFootballFan1 Oct 06 '22 Helpful

It's hard to hold a pen when you got a hand full of crackers.

43

u/Spacestar_Ordering Oct 06 '22

Homer are you just holding on to the can?

108

u/Splatoonkindaguy Oct 06 '22

Too good to be my hand writing

43

u/HighBeta21 Oct 06 '22

Always time to improve your calligraphy.

36

u/Splatoonkindaguy Oct 06 '22

No motivation

65

u/Pawn_captures_Queen Oct 06 '22

My handwriting is so bad my professor in college said it looked like a serial killers and I should write ransom notes for a living.

15

u/HighBeta21 Oct 06 '22

I got called out for mine as well lol. I used to write really small and it was difficult for them to read sometimes. Sometimes it was intentional and then I got tired of other people's crappy hand writing and tried to improve my own if I wanted my thoughts to be read or considered.

10

u/King-Mugs Oct 06 '22

My professor told me she was jealous that it would be impossible for anyone to copy my signature or falsify any documents of mine because my handwriting was so “spectacularly sloppy”

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u/salsashark99 Oct 06 '22

Another doctor child serial stroke victim killer?

17

u/stew_gotz Oct 06 '22

This kid has better handwriting than me, a 31 year old.

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u/xxxsublime Oct 06 '22

Not gonna lie, I totally thought it could’ve been a grown ass man too

1.6k

u/Coryperkin15 Oct 06 '22

I'm laughing so hard at this

35

u/stereoa Oct 06 '22

Definitely got me with a surprise laugh. 😂😂

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u/arealhumannotabot Oct 06 '22

I don't meant to knock people but I've got 2 co-workers in their 30s who write almost exactly like this

No joke, I've actually said, "is that the letter B, number 5, or a cat?"

44

u/TheRavenSayeth Oct 06 '22

Sometimes a guy just wants to casually dip into his hieroglyphics

13

u/diddy1 Oct 06 '22

Casually Ancient Egypt sounds lit

33

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '22

[deleted]

11

u/Smothdude Oct 06 '22

Honestly really interesting. I'm in my 20s and handwriting was still something we learned at school, at least where I am in Canada. We did get scantrons later on in highschool but before that we usually just wrote things or circled answers.

I suppose it depends on the region

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u/jooes Oct 06 '22

This guy is 32 years old, but the person who dared him to do it was 8.

Alex can never say no to a dare.

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u/lookamazed Oct 06 '22

Haha.

-written with me non dominate hand so as to appear childlike.

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u/pepegasloot Oct 06 '22

Theres alot of inconsistencies in multiple letters ngl. The i will never do it again looks the weirdest

10

u/fiywrwalws Oct 06 '22

I was once in a seaside town in winter and there was this random crane game in the middle of nowhere which ate my money. I texted the number on the machine to report a fault and jokingly said "I wanted the sheep!" They took my details and posted the sheep to me. I was 27.

5

u/counterparts330 Oct 06 '22

Nice fucking pfp🤙🏼

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u/NoAdministration1222 Oct 06 '22 All-Seeing Upvote Faith In Humanity Restored Wholesome Seal of Approval

Somebody is raising that kid right. Make mistakes? Sure. Make it right? Absolutely

3.2k

u/avia1221 Oct 06 '22 Heartwarming I'll Drink to That

When I was young, my friend and I stole bowling shoes from a bowling alley. We thought it would be cool to keep them and have our own bowling shoes. As soon as my parents found out, they drove me all the way back to the alley (which was very far across town) and made me walk in and say I took them and return them. That still sticks with me today and fixing your wrongs is how I intend to help my son now learn from his mistakes too.

486

u/Acrobatic_Pandas Oct 06 '22

I once pretended I was in the X-Men and ripped apart a hay bail with some friends on the edge of the farmland behind our houses.

It was a Sentinel, we were attacking it and tore it up.

My parents called the other parents once they found out, wanting us all to go apologize to the farmer.

In the end 2 of the 5 of us did. Just myself and one other guy. We were marched up to his door to apologize. He said it was fine and thanked us for our apology.

That was the day the mutants lost to the sentinel, but it's a lesson that's stuck with me

92

u/statuskills Oct 06 '22

I mean, you destroyed the sentinel! I guess that took you out of the X-Men when they needed you most though.

376

u/blizzardlizard Oct 06 '22 Helpful

When I was not quite ten, I stole a little tiny silk lizard stuffed with sand from a groovy little gift shop in my hometown. My mom found it in my room a couple days later, demanded a confession out of m,e and drove me to the store where, in floods of tears, I admitted to the old hippy who ran the place that I'd stolen the little lizard and was there to give it back.

He was so touched by the gesture that he gave it to me as a gift so that it would always remind me of the importance of honesty. I'm 43 years old and I still have it, and it sits on the bookshelf in my living room to this very day.

384

u/Lashtrash Oct 06 '22

Reminds me of a story my mom tells

When she was a kid she was at the local deli and wanted fruit mentos, but her dad said no. However, she stole them and was eating them in the back of a car when her dad was stopped in the post office. My aunt saw her eating mentos, told popop, and he made her go back into the deli and apologize. The deli guy was trying to hold back laughter as he tried to be tough with her.

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u/ExasperatedMongoose Oct 06 '22

Reminds me of something I had to make my daughter do. We were at a campground one summer and they had candy bar bingo (you got candy if you got a bingo and they’d have a dozen or more winners each round). My daughter (6 at the time) was getting frustrated because she was so close to getting a bingo but kept not getting one, so she started finishing out her bingos so she could get a prize. She did it multiple times and came away that afternoon with a couple handfuls of candy and a snack size bag of chips. I don’t remember how it came up, but at some point back in our rv, I realized she had been cheating. I marched her back to the campground activity center, we found the activities director, she apologized and gave back all the candy (even the stuff she had legitimately won, which I hadn’t told her to do, but she felt bad).

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u/Chateaudelait Oct 06 '22 edited Oct 06 '22

This right here is gold star parenting. Nip the small stuff in the bud as Barney Fife says. My dad was in law enforcement and many kids attempt petty theft when they are little because the lure of the candy is just too great. He marched my sister and I back to the market, made us give it back, pay for it anyway and apologize for our transgression. I self reflected and will never forget the way I felt for being called out for my own actions and decided I better never do that ever again. The store manager was so nice - it was a kinder time _ He said "Kid, it takes guts to admit when you make a mistake. Thank you." I'll always remember it. And although I would never steal - the lure of Pep O Mint Life Savers still gets to me. And Mint Tic Tacs.

754

u/Kimberj71 Oct 06 '22

You have great parents. When I was in 1st grade I took some quarters out of a desk at school. We switched up seats all the time, so when my mom found out, I had no idea who they belonged to. She made me make cupcakes for the entire class and came with me to pass them out. She made me apologize to each person in my class as I gave them a cupcake. I never took anything again, and to this day if I am given too much change or anything like that, I always return it. It’s never too early to teach children life lessons.

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u/Dry-Organization236 Oct 06 '22

One time in 3rd grade I whispered in my “friends” ear that the teacher was a ‘bitch’

He then walked up to teacher and taps her on shoulder. Points directly at me and says ‘he just called you a bitch’

Went to principals office. Received good ol big spanks from Ms. Rodgers.

Get home that day, dad proceeds to pin me down, sit on my chest and empty a full bottle of blue Dawn down my throat.

That teacher really was a bitch

85

u/ibcj Oct 06 '22

Well that seems like a bit of an over reaction.

And sorry you got stuck with a bitch.

156

u/NoAdministration1222 Oct 06 '22

Your dad is a child abuser. He’s the bitch

35

u/MNfan84 Oct 06 '22

Yeah this story is just abuse all around, are principals allowed to spank kids themselves? Jesus

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u/kanst Oct 06 '22

As soon as my parents found out, they drove me all the way back to the alley (which was very far across town)

I think a key part of this story is that your parents were willing to inconvenience themselves to make you do the right thing. They could've just grounded you and chucked the shoes in the trash. it would have been easier, but would not have been as effective of a lesson.

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u/avia1221 Oct 06 '22

Yes!! I still remember the awkward car ride as my dad drove me back while being lectured the whole time! I hope I can be as good as a mom to my infant son as my parents were to me. They helped instill a lot of good lessons

285

u/tribat Oct 06 '22

I had the same deal with a pack of gum I stole from K-mart at about 5 years old. I was proudly handing it out to my siblings and friends when my dad noticed. Since I had no known means of income, he asked where I got it. "I just took it! They didn't even stop me so I guess they don't care". Back to K-mart we go, led up to the bemused security guard by my ear, and a stammered confession and apology that probably wasn't nearly as coherent as this one. That was half a century ago, so yeah...it stuck with me.

PS: To this day don't steal packs of gum from the checkout. Good job, dad!

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u/Original-Ad7989 Oct 06 '22

Mine is a K-mart story too, but in my case, it was a single wrapped candy from the bulk candy counter. (It was in the mid 1970’s in Canada). I was 4 years old. I grabbed a candy and stuffed it in my mouth (wrapper and all) so my mom couldn’t make me put it back. Instead, she made me spit it out, and handed me two pennies. I was deathly shy and had been taught that thieves go to jail. Mom made me walk up to the cashier all by myself, confess what I had done and pay for the candy. I very clearly remember standing on my tiptoes to hand her the pennies and bawling, “I promise I’ll never steal again! Please don’t send me to jail!” The cashier very sternly told me she’d let me off with a warning this time since I had paid up, and I ran back to my mom like my life depended on it. (I imagine she and her coworkers had a good laugh about it later.) Here I am almost 50 years old and that lesson is still as fresh in my mind as the day it happened! 🤣

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u/Familiar_Fruit_5318 Oct 06 '22

Dude what the hell, I had the exact same situation as a kid! Grabbed a pack of juicy fruit and put it in my pocket, got into the car with my mom and she asked where I got it. She made me go back inside and hand the gum to the cashier and apologise lmfao. I miss K-mart, reminds me of my childhood.

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u/_dead_and_broken Oct 06 '22

Mine was also gum, at about 4 or 5 years old, but it was a 7-11, not a K-mart. And it was the Big League Chew bubblegum lol

15

u/garyll19 Oct 06 '22

Wow, wtf so many gum stories. I was also 4 or 5 and my mom bought me a small pack of Juicy Fruit but I wanted the bigger one so swapped it on the way out. My mom marched me back in to the store owner. In my 4- year old mind he was a 9 foot tall giant towering over me with a booming voice saying " WHAT DID YOU DO, YOU BAD BOY? YOU COULD GO TO JAIL FOR THAT!!" Pretty sure I pissed my pants, but it was the one and only time I ever stole something. I had a friend when I was a teenager who was trying to shoplift in a store with me and I made him put everything back. No jail for me, buddy.

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u/minnykim Oct 06 '22

I think every parent deals with a toddler or little kid who one day steals a piece of candy from a gas station or store. Especially if it is at eye level. How you deal with it is so important. Kudos to all of the moms and dads who teach the right thing. An actual apology to the owner for doing it or trying it is better than a slap on the hand from mom.

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u/DeliciousGorilla Oct 06 '22

When I was 12 I used to shoplift fishing lures from the local K-Mart. When I heard they filed for bankruptcy I was sure I was part to blame. I miss you K-Mart, my bad.

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u/craigandjoan Oct 06 '22

I stole a tshirt from kohl’s a while back and when I got caught I had to call my dad. He worked as a salesman selling security cameras so needless to say he wasn’t happy. He made me go into the security room and apologize to the employees then he bought me the shirt (dr pepper shirt 😂) and made me wear everyday for the next week! I haven’t stolen since

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u/sevenwrens Oct 06 '22

Oh that's clever!! Good thinking, Dad.

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u/Barreraj94 Oct 06 '22

that sounds amazing, when i was 8 my mom would make me hold open a walmart bag on the other end of the shopping cart to help her steal things..

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u/VegasLife1111 Oct 06 '22

That is very sad.

17

u/Basil505 Oct 06 '22

Reminds me of a time in high school after a night of drinking couple friends and I thought it would be funny to steal the porcelain statues in front of McDonald’s. Took forever to get out and it took 3 or 4 of us to carry them. We got Ronald McDonald and mayor McCheese. My room was in the basement and I didn’t have windows. My mom came in in the morning and only saw the silhouette of Ronald waving (which could also look like him preparing to strike someone). She screened and my dad come running downstairs. They made me take them back to McDonald’s and apologize. Amazingly they did not ask us to pay for any damage.

About 10 years later my dad told me he thought it was hilarious and secretly liked it since he is somewhat anti-large corporations..

16

u/moon_slave Oct 06 '22

When I was 5 I took a shiny rock from a fountain at a local outdoors shop we frequented. It fell out of my pocket when my dad and I were rough housing and he said “neat rock, where’d you find it?” I could have said anything but I immediately freaked out and told him I stole it. They took me the next day to return it and the clerk was the most bored teenager who couldn’t give fewer shits haha. I asked my parents about it recently and they apparently thought it was hilarious at the time haha. I never stole anything again.

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u/Tough_Hawk_3867 Oct 06 '22

I spoke a pack of baseball cards from Walmart once as a kid. My dads knows cops, and so they threw the cuffs on me as a learning opportunity. I deadpanned the whole thing, but it was a good lesson

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u/innocently_cold Oct 06 '22

I was about 4 when I stole a 5 cent candy at a store. After I asked and my mom said no. She caught me eating it (I'm a dummy). Took me back to pay for it and say sorry that I stole. That's a core memory for sure.

Fast forward 25 years and my 5 year old took a small roll of leopard print duct tape from Walmart. Her brother told on her. So we took her back in and the lady was like you know we call the police on people who steal stuff right? But since you came back and said sorry, we will let this one go. But if it happens again, we will have to call. She also pointed to the security cameras. Kid was mortified and apologized profusely. Lady just winked at me lol. I supported what she had to say also. I didn't have to lecture her at all after. She totally understood.

These lessons need to be taught. We all make mistakes but how we fix that is what should matter. For the most part. I tell my kids that we make mistakes to make our brains grow. Which is 100% the truth. But when a mistake becomes often, it's now a choice, not a mistake.

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u/Bugazug Oct 06 '22

These lessons need to be taught. We all make mistakes but how we fix that is what should matter. For the most part. I tell my kids that we make mistakes to make our brains grow. Which is 100% the truth. But when a mistake becomes often, it's now a choice, not a mistake.

This is a beautiful way to phrase it to children! I'm definitely stealing this!

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u/innocently_cold Oct 06 '22

Thanks :)

I grew up thinking mistakes were bad. But in fact, it's the only way you build new connections in your brain. I want my kids to know it's ok to goof up, just account and fix when it comes to your attention. Whether that was your own self owning up or if someone points it out. However, there's only so long you can use the mistake card. It builds self esteem too.

Growth mindset for the win!

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u/RambleMan Oct 06 '22

When I was a teen I stole a street sign in my town that was constantly being stolen by tourists. It sat at the back of my closet for years, me embarrassed that I stole it, unable to show anybody because I was afraid the world police would find me.

When my parents retired and moved across the country they took the sign with them. It's been mounted in their driveway for the last 30 years as a memory from home.

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u/onlyinsurance-ca Oct 06 '22

Yeah when I was about six, a friend stole some stuff from the hardware store and I got the peer pressure from him to participate. So i stole 3 lead sinkers. Then my sister ratted me out to our parents.

My parents took me to the hardware store where I had to return them and apologize.

Then on the way home they turned right instead of left.fuuuuuck the only thing down that street is the copy station. Yeah, a half hour in a room with a cop (who was probably killing themselves laughing, but I was crapping my pants at 6 years old.).

No further problems with shoplifting since.

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u/Househunter3 Oct 06 '22

Dared my friend to steal a pool ball from a ski lodge. When his mom found out later that night, we both had to write notes and both had to go back to return it

7

u/unclecaveman1 Oct 06 '22

When I was about 4 or 5 I stole a handful of candy from the grocery store. My mom found out and took me to the police station and had an officer talk to me. The whole time I was crying and terrified I was going to jail. Stuck with me for life. I'm 36 and still remember it vividly.

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u/annarich310 Oct 06 '22

My Mom did the same with a really cool rock I stole from the neighbors. I was five.

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u/WhimsicalHamster Oct 06 '22

Checking out at a big grocery store, 6 years old, I notice that this mini gum ball dispenser had had a little finger break the thin plastic wrap. So I thought hmm someone already broke in why not grab a couple mini gum balls. Turn the crank three or four times and as I’m sticking my left hand full of gummy treasure into my coat pocket I feel the wrist clamp of death and destruction on my right, my head snaps up to my mom to my right, who looks like she just witnessed triple homicide. She abandons our groceries on the belt, doesn’t finish paying, and drags me to customer service. If only the floor hadn’t been so shiny and smooth my heels might’ve been able to buy me some time. Get to customer service, mom asks for the manager, which customer service is happy to oblige, as they often are. I’m about to cry, hands still crammed in pockets, my left one so so sweaty. Manager walks up and asks what the problem is. My mom tells me to show her what’s in my hand. I, trembling, not built for prison, out stretch my fist and slowly extend my fingers. 4 little white balls sat on my tie dyed palm and my eyes followed from my hand to the person I had robbed, the true victim, the store manager. I apologized and promised I would never steal again. And then to alleviate my grief and guilt I suggested she investigate every other checkout isle for punctured, vulnerable, miniature $2 gum ball machines.

Never stole again. I think. But the crazy thing is I’m in college in Boston, and I’m doing this study on how the homeless community seems to thrive, like it’s cold for sure, but I’m talking they got generators, shelters, grills, and like…good food. Apparently it’s against the law in MA to pursue someone stealing food from a grocery store and they know it. So from a 6 year old who vowed to obey the system to a 22 year old watching a homeless guy come out of a store with MULTIPLE grocery bags was very interesting. Yea it’s morally not right, and sure if the guy wasn’t on drugs he’d have the money for food, possibly, but it was kinda touching. They are people, nice people a lot of the time, funny, caring, protective, but just lost. Food for thought, take it if you like, I won’t mind!

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u/fairie_poison Oct 06 '22

"Remember kids, if you see someone stealing groceries, no you didn't!"

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u/arealhumannotabot Oct 06 '22

Tell that to the guy in TIFU who might be in legal trouble after trying to make amends for stealing lol

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u/Octowuss1 Oct 06 '22

Someone had a hard time sleeping that night

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u/fuckit_sowhat Oct 06 '22

I stole a pack of Yu-Gi-Oh cards from a walmart when I was like 8 and to this day, two decades later, I still lay awake at night thinking about it.

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u/Ghodzy1 Oct 06 '22

"i should have taken 4 packs since i got away with it.."

rolls over and cries until you fall asleep.

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u/drakel01 Oct 06 '22

This might be a weird thought but in contrast of you feeling guilty over a pack of Yu-Gi-Oh cards two decades later, imagine there are people unable to feel any kind of remorse, murdering and sleeping like babies right after.

Crazy how the mind works.

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u/UhOhSparklepants Oct 06 '22

I feel this. I once stole a bracelet from my dance class (it had been sitting on the window sill for weeks and was dusty). It was very pretty but I was too anxious to ever wear it because the guilt consumed me. I put it back on the window sill at the end of the year.

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u/SoletakenPupper Oct 06 '22

Fear because walmart loss prevention doesn't fuck around, fair.

Guilt because you "stole" from one of the most corrupt companies on the planet? Get a hold of yourself choom.

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u/MantisAndMoth Oct 06 '22

From Wal-Mart? My dude say 10 “fuck corporations” and do the dollar sign across your chest and lose no more sleep over it.

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u/fuckit_sowhat Oct 06 '22

Lol, this made me actually laugh out loud. Thanks. I’m off to do my penance of 10 “fuck corporations”.

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u/Sum1PleaseKillMe Oct 06 '22

Someone’s parents are trying to raise a good human.

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u/notjustforperiods Oct 06 '22

somebody was asked "where the fuck you get those crackers son"

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u/_dudepare_ Oct 06 '22

This kid is destined to be a great person

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u/spontanexplosion Oct 06 '22

The kid IS already

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u/BiscuitsNGravy45 Oct 06 '22

Plot twist it’s faculty

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u/63oscar Oct 06 '22

That’s some good parenting.

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u/HighBeta21 Oct 06 '22

Get that security tape and get this kid some free swag and tickets.

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u/gdebolobec Oct 06 '22

Then when he least expects it, that's when the Swat team swarms in! good plan.

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u/Quick-Wall Oct 06 '22

I’m sure he is a good guy. But a crime is a crime and he will do his time just like the rest of them. The apology is nice but for these types, long stints of incarceration will do the trick

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u/artieeee Oct 06 '22

Nothing says rehabilitation like 10 years in jail and a life long drug habit!

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u/LukesRightHandMan Oct 06 '22 edited Oct 07 '22

Then beat him with some jumpstarter cables to really drive the lesson home.

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u/swskeptic Oct 06 '22

iunderstoodthatreference.gif

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u/PriManFtw Oct 06 '22

parents could be involved too and if that's the case then kudos to them!

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u/bcmonke Oct 06 '22

This is the kind of note my parents would have made me write

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u/LukesRightHandMan Oct 06 '22

Then beaten you with jumpstarter cables?

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u/TheSteelPhantom Oct 06 '22

I miss seeing that guy everywhere, what happened to him?

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u/jessbob Oct 06 '22

The human heart can only take a certain number of jumper cable beatings before it gives out 😔

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u/Reindeer-Least Oct 06 '22

Parents definetly made him write that

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u/JarlaxleForPresident Oct 06 '22 edited Oct 06 '22

Yeah, if this isnt self-motivated but was a lesson by the parents, then it’s still a good thing. Even instilling that taking crackers from a vending machine is stealing goes a long way

But if the kid has this kind of empathy already then that’s great

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u/DrugChemistry Oct 06 '22

If we arrest this child and make an example of him in the legal system, we can still ruin the kid!

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u/GoBuffaloes Oct 06 '22 Silver

Hollllllddddd on there, we don’t even know what race he is or how much money his parents make

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u/Still-Contest-980 Oct 06 '22

Thanks for making me blow air out of my nose and crack a smile. I hope you have a nice day ! ☺️☺️

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u/tribat Oct 06 '22

Solid comment right there.

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u/DiversifyThisBitch Oct 06 '22

LooL bruh.

Edit: I still laughed

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u/Nopumpkinhere Oct 06 '22

How do you know that’s true. Lots of people have an overactive conscious and are plagued by heavy guilt.

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u/ChiSandTwitch Oct 06 '22

I think it's more a grim reflection on the horrifically skewed nature of the American judicial system, and its systematic and targeted abuse of POC and minorities

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u/Heyyo_johnson Oct 06 '22

What do u mean "This kid" could be a full grown m...

Forget about it

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u/Megs0226 Oct 06 '22

It looks like my 33 year old brother’s handwriting.

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u/Available-Living-117 Oct 06 '22

do you know if he might have stolen some crackers lately?

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u/Megs0226 Oct 06 '22

It’s entirely possible.

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u/Solinarum Oct 06 '22

I'm a 32 year old man with the same handwriting :(

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u/redditsrabidrabbit Oct 06 '22

This kid is better than most persons

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u/zoomiewoop Oct 06 '22

Seriously. This is like getting to see one of the great humanitarians of our time as a kid. Really nice :)

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u/Ok_Skill_1195 Oct 06 '22

Counter opinion: this kid is at risk of getting eaten alive and becoming extremely jaded in a few years.

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u/Late-Eye-6936 Oct 06 '22

It's not quite like that. It's sort of like that. Duck it, I'm dead.

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u/nedTheInbredMule Oct 06 '22

And the winner of many a spelling bee.

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u/Yell0wbrickr0ad Oct 06 '22

Credit to his parents who probably made him right this letter.

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u/No-Entrepreneur-2724 Oct 06 '22

A good and decent person. Great persons are never this nice.

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u/tendtend Oct 06 '22

Acknowledging wrong doing, apologizing and making up for what you've done is difficult! I'm proud of this person for swallowing their pride and trying to doing better once they realized their mistake. Courage and honest matter.

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u/jtrick18 Oct 06 '22

I have a feeling good parents were involved.

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u/karmagod13000 Oct 06 '22

Now that I look at the handwriting is does seem to be at 6th grade level.

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u/destinationlalaland Oct 06 '22

Mid 30s here, his handwriting is better than mine. My arm won’t fit up a vending machine though.

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u/LnStrngr Oct 06 '22

Not with that attitude it won't!

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u/wastedmytagonporn Oct 06 '22

The answer is more lube.

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u/vanityfear Oct 06 '22

That’s the answer to several questions!

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u/qwerty17201 Oct 06 '22

I am 45 and this is so much better than my handwriting

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u/TheWalkingDead91 Oct 06 '22

So what kind of physician are you?

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u/I_Can_Haz_Brainz Oct 06 '22

49 and have written so little in the last 30 years I now write like a 90-year-old doctor with Parkinson's during an earthquake.

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u/The_Waj Oct 06 '22

I’m at the point now where my hand cramps after each word lol

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u/ThinkPath1999 Oct 06 '22

IKR!!!!!!! Pretty much the only time I have to write anything by hand is when I go to the bank, and I constantly have to apologize to my customer rep about my chicken scratch handwriting.

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u/HardlyAnyGravitas Oct 06 '22

The bit missing off the bottom is:

"PS. My parents made me write this.

Signed - J Bezos (age 58¾)"

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u/Savage_2021 Oct 06 '22

This exactly. My parents made my brother do something similar. Only it was a milk vending machine.

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u/Every-Fix-2377 Oct 06 '22

TIL there are vending machines that vend exclusively milk?

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u/amboy_connector Oct 06 '22

I wonder if he/she got the old "I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed."

My dad would have told me, "I'm furious and I'm disappointed."

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u/chopsttv Oct 06 '22

honestly, I’m a little dumbfounded as to why a lot of people assume these things are because of good parenting.

some cases absolutely are, but the harsh reality is that a lot of times when a younger child exhibits behavior of extreme pride, honesty, responsibility, maturity, etc. it could mean they don’t have a very good home. i am speaking from experience.

I very much value these traits as well, but had to raise myself. father passed when I was a boy and mother wanted to go on alcohol benders. think I was home alone 90% of the time and the 10% I wasn’t it was either beatings or screaming or worse with other deadbeat dudes that would come around.

look out for these kids. make sure they get the respect and care they deserve.

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u/Conscious_Road_3805 Oct 06 '22

Yeah not really tho.

A couple days ago there was a tifu post of a dude who stole from a grocery store, then later came back and confessed and wanted to pay it all back.

The manager recorded it, called the cops, the guy got fired from his career and is now facing jail time.

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u/MrsM0721 Oct 06 '22

This kid did it anonymously, so really learned 2 lessons in one. Own your mistakes and make them right, but also do it so there’s no tracing it back to you.

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u/EntrepreneurAdept726 Oct 06 '22

Sometimes no good deed goes unpunished and that sucks. The manager was on a power trip. Ruin a man’s life over some groceries. What comes around joes around.

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u/DemonDucklings Oct 06 '22

Plus if someone with enough of a conscience to apologize for stealing groceries needs to steal groceries, they probably have enough going on in their lives without dealing with court and jail. It most likely means they’re desperate for food, rather than just stealing for a thrill.

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u/Gelnhausenjim Oct 06 '22

I was in the army with this dumbass who stuck his arm up to try and get a free soda. It got stuck and we had to call the German fire department. They came in and used axes to take off the door. Kid got in big trouble.

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u/MadeMeStopLurking Oct 06 '22

Mr Simpson are you still holding the chips?

yes

Let go.

::arm comes out without assistance::

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u/serenwipiti Oct 06 '22

how fucking embarrassing lmao

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u/theedgeofoblivious Oct 06 '22

That person is going to be a better person for the rest of their life, because they're going to look back and be sad they did that.

I remember when I was a kid and I was with someone who pushed me to pocket some candy. I remember when I got home that I felt guilty about even eating it.

I did eat it, but more out of "Oh well, it's not doing me any good to not eat it," than out of actual enjoyment.

And it's something that has influenced my actions since then.

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u/Anonmyo0 Oct 06 '22

I once stole a plastic dinosaur toy in kindergarten from a classmate. I was so physically ill from the stress and shame I was puking and threw the toy in the trash. Which made my shame even worse. Never stole a single thing since. Still beat myself up to this day over it and wish I could remember who it was so I could apologize. Sticks with you man.

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u/lordnecro Oct 06 '22

My son is 5. He takes his mistakes very hard. He is quick to forgive others, but not himself.

As I tell him... it is okay to make mistakes, we all do. It is part of growing up and life. It is important to learn from our mistakes. We try to fix our mistake if we can. We apologize if we need to. We think of ways to prevent making the mistake again. And finally you must forgive yourself.

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u/utf8decodeerror Oct 06 '22

I'm 30 and have this exact same conversation with my therapist regularly. Good on you for validating your son's feelings and helping him to forgive himself. I wish someone had taught me that at a young age.

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u/lordnecro Oct 06 '22

Yeah, I wish I had had it too. My family was very much... don't talk about anything, ever. So I am trying to do better for my son and give him the tools that I did not have.

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u/Useful_Armadillo_746 Oct 06 '22

It's funny what sticks with us. I remember taking a girls school work in the first grade and putting my name on it. When the teacher told her she didn't turn her work in she burst into tears. I felt terrible and rightly so. I wasn't strong enough to admit what I had done and it haunts me to this day. My advice today is to just do the right thing. Getting in the trouble you deserve is much better than the pain and suffering that follows harming someone else.

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u/limeade272 Oct 06 '22

You’re a really good person.

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u/Anonmyo0 Oct 06 '22

Oh my that hit my soul. Thank you.

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u/roy_rogers_photos Oct 06 '22

I grew up a wonderful kid. I did things, but never anything that was so bad I would regret telling my parents. They raised me to respect them, and not out of fear, but through love. It hurt me to hurt my parents, and with that they could let me lose into the world and I was almost guaranteed to not make any major mistakes, and it worked.

Parents definitely had a hand in this, by properly raising a child.

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u/SilverReverie Oct 06 '22 edited Oct 06 '22

Nature and nurture both have an effect on what kind of person we turn out to be. That's not to say our childhood experiences don't have a significant effect on how we turn out - they do, of course. But it also means there are some kids who could get exactly the same upbringing you did but not have the same level of empathy and respect for others. I say this because I think it's important to recognize that when someone displays inconsiderate or cruel behavior, it's not always fair to blame their parents. Some people are wired to be highly empathetic, and some people have no capacity for empathy at all, and there's everything in between.

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u/Jgs4555 Oct 06 '22

Parenting done right.

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u/Majorweck Oct 06 '22

Find this person and protect them with every inch!

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u/coastel Oct 06 '22

Good parenting 👍

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u/karmagod13000 Oct 06 '22

The guilt must of really been keeping him up at night. His conscience is finally free.

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u/LastOfTheCamSoreys Oct 06 '22

….or his parents found out

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u/Aemilia Oct 06 '22 edited Oct 06 '22

Several years ago I was buying groceries at a mum and pop corner store when there was a heated exchange between a Saudi Arabian mother and the shopkeeper. It was heated because the Arabian mother only knew English while the shopkeeper could only speak Chinese. I offered to translate for them.

Turns out her child took a bar of chocolate and they walked out of the store without paying for it. Once the mother found out, they returned to the store to pay for the chocolate.

The mother attempted to hand the money to the shopkeeper but the latter refused to take it. She didn’t understand why the mother was giving her money for no reason. They went back and forth for a while until it got loud so I stepped in. The exchange ended amicably once both parties understood what was going on.

I really respected the Arabian mother for her great parenting.

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u/Quirky_Swordfish_308 Oct 06 '22

If only 1% of our politicians exhibited such character, the world would be a much better place

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u/Spnstanaf73 Oct 06 '22

Well someone has been given good parenting. Yes they made a mistake, but they also realized their mistake and went to fix it.

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u/PlsLeavemealone02 Oct 06 '22

Don't you just love it when children are raised correctly?

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u/ItzBreezeyBaby Oct 06 '22

I love the handwriting so much it makes it so much more wholesome

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u/c-xp Oct 06 '22 Wholesome

Now hand it in to the police as evidence and have them collect forensic evidence from it 😂

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u/Poguemohon Oct 06 '22 edited Oct 06 '22

Did you see the TIFU from yesterday about a guy was in uni/college & struggling financially? Stole from a store but made an excel spreadsheet on everything taken & the amount it cost. Under a thousand euros but gave the money back with the list. Manager calls the police & dude may lose his job with a conviction.

Edit: https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/xvgc5v/tifu_by_going_to_a_supermarket_chain_and/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

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u/Knurvous Oct 06 '22

This is exactly what I was thinking about while reading this. I expected the top comment to be "Call the police."

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u/rex_dart_eskimo_spy Oct 06 '22

That was the first thing I thought of reading this

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u/Lazy_Title7050 Oct 06 '22

Any decent judge will go very easy on him.

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u/Poguemohon Oct 06 '22

Hope so, I'm not familiar with German courts though.

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u/MakeCheeseMakeMoney Oct 06 '22

Hilarious this young person must have felt horrible! Love the wording "made a terrible decision" 😂😂

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u/MagicSmokingDragon Oct 06 '22

Everyone knows that feeling, very few of us are brave enough to put it in writing lol

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u/Harbor_Barber Oct 06 '22

damn legend

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u/KTG777 Oct 06 '22

I remember stealing a very, very small rubber bouncy ball from Hobby Lobby when I was a kid. I don't remember how old I was, just being sick to my stomach that I had done it. Then I started worrying that the cops were gonna get me for stealing, so I threw it across some neighbors back yards to get rid of the evidence😂😂 This kid is a better kid than I(was)

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u/cartesian-anomaly Oct 06 '22

Sounds like you have conscience just as much as this kid. Maybe you didn’t make the store whole, but you knew it was wrong. Forgive yourself and move on.

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u/Rosalie-83 Oct 06 '22

When I was 13 I was peer-pressured into stealing a lip balm. When my friends went home shock set in, and I was so upset I went to another store and bought the same lip balm and went and replaced the one I stole. I stole one from the discount store, so it cost me twice as much to replace it from the expensive pharmacy next door. I felt it better though and never was peer pressured into anything again.

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u/Professional_Deal565 Oct 06 '22

Young people are being given a lot of shit for having no standards but there some really sweet kids out there doing their best. Bless this little champ.

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u/Public_Bar40 Oct 06 '22

Good job little one!

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u/No-Establishment4222 Oct 06 '22

Some people lack any form of consciousness, others have too much... 🥲

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u/JenniFrmTheBlock81 Oct 06 '22

He's as sweet as Butters 🥰

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u/New-Nefariousness234 Oct 06 '22

Politics is out for this kid and so is being a lawyer or running a pawn shop, couldn't sell cars be a cop or a teacher. The kid is headed to the trades I guess

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u/Floppy_human_being Oct 06 '22

Crackers were a terrible decision. He could have got something way better.

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u/ciderlout Oct 06 '22

What this is, is fucking good parenting.

The kid went home, the parent asked "where did you get that", and the crime was admitted.

The parent made the kid write the letter, 100%.

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u/2worldsjoined Oct 06 '22

Lock them up and throw away the key

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u/boulderingfanatix Oct 06 '22

Sooo the terrible mistake was stealing crackers instead of pop tarts?

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u/bluefreed Oct 06 '22

One time a kid in elementary school told me he printed a dollar bill and crumpled it up to make it look real so he could buy a juice in the lunch line.

I went home that night and remember working myself into a panic attack at the young age of 8 years old because I thought I was an accomplice in a major counterfeiting scheme (I learned counterfeiting was bad from Drake and Josh I’m pretty sure lol)

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u/Wasteroftime34 Oct 06 '22

Wow made me definitely almost shed a tear, then smile.

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u/froooooosh Oct 06 '22

I think the kid is ashamed he got the crackers (out of all the other, probably better options)

“I made a terrible decision, I reached up and grabbed crackers”

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u/DiscountPlayful5880 Oct 06 '22

Good kid. Or paranoia got the better of them

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u/rogerworkman623 Oct 06 '22

Or their parents asked “where did you get crackers from?” And they broke down and confessed.

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u/campbellm Oct 06 '22

Yeah, not to take away from the act, but this has parents written all over it. And good on them, too.

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u/[deleted] Oct 06 '22

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