r/Steam Dec 27 '21 Silver 9 Gold 1 Platinum 1 Helpful 11 Wholesome 10 Tearing Up 1

Friends gone :( Meta

My friend passed away a few months ago, super suddenly and unexpected, ~36yrs old, straight up heart attack. Everytime I log into Steam I see my friends list and it slowly counts the days since he last logged on. Kinda thinking I should delete him, kinda thinking I shouldn't.

Edit: This post blew up, for now I'm gonna keep him around. Thank you all for your kind words and advice.

4.0k Upvotes

1.5k

u/[deleted] Dec 28 '21

If you unfriend him he will be gone from your friend list forever.

363

u/sean0883 Dec 28 '21

Exactly. The pain of seeing his name is temporary. Removing him is forever.

I'd temporarily hide offline friends until I could handle it.

79

u/noreallyu500 Dec 28 '21

If this is an option, then I'd really consider it OP. You get to not feel uncomfortable with it being so recent, but you still have the option to remember it later down the line.

18

u/Diegovz01 Dec 28 '21

Steam will eventually delete the account due to inactivity. And sadly, Steam accounts cannot be inherited.

58

u/xdeadzx https://steam.pm/qwqol Dec 28 '21 Helpful

I have friends offline for 10 years. When do they delete for inactivity? I've just never heard of it, and you can find a counts offline for 15 years. The service is only 18 years old, and they haven't started deleting yet.

3

u/Diegovz01 Dec 28 '21

M.. that's interesting. I heard about it on a youtube video explaining the pros vs cons of Steam, you know, the thing that we don't really own the games but just the licenses, the DRM, and other stuff. I remember the dude in the video stated that according to the terms of service the accounts cannot be inherited and once Steam realizes its a "dead" account, it will be deleted. But you're right, I haven't done to much research on this and I don't remember the name of the video so don't take my words seriously.

28

u/xdeadzx https://steam.pm/qwqol Dec 28 '21

It's true the tos does say legally they can delete a "dead" account. But I don't think they ever have. The same thing with inheritance, legally it says that. But they've had more than one account to be passed down.

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16

u/SaranethPrime Dec 28 '21

I have friends that haven’t logged in for over 3000 days. I highly doubt the claims of this YouTube vid.

8

u/Taizunz https://s.team/p/wmfj-vt Dec 29 '21

Ah yes, YouTube videos... the source for $100% true and %100$ researched and validated information.

2

u/Nerdbond Dec 28 '21

He is stiil there cheering you on man!

0

u/improve-me-coder Dec 28 '21

His account may be gone in a few years. If I'm not mistaken, they are required by law to remove inactive accounts.

584

u/-Aesopica- Dec 27 '21

Gone, but not forgotten. Take care OP.

622

u/TBODB Dec 27 '21

A coincidence that I come across this post after visiting my friend's profile that passed away not even 5 minutes ago. 2186 days since last login. I leave a message on her profile once in awhile. Doesn't do much but it helps.

487

u/WoveLeed Dec 28 '21

For a second there I thought your friend passed away 5 minutes ago.

142

u/TragicKnite Dec 28 '21

Same was confused for a second.

2

u/memehrdad Dec 28 '21

I was confused for 5 seconds

-168

u/skunk90 Dec 28 '21

Not same, I wasn’t confused.

33

u/ThePrussianGrippe Dec 28 '21

No one asked.

13

u/Lochcelious Dec 28 '21

Well no one asked about for any of the other replies either. Don't be mean to people even if they're being facetious or pedantic

-52

u/skunk90 Dec 28 '21

That’s the point, no one asked if the other guy got confused either. Everyone should post their confusion status just so we’re clear.

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16

u/AnotherCatgirl Dec 28 '21

I thought that they had quit steam before passing away very recently

15

u/djulioo Dec 28 '21

Commas exist for a reason...

10

u/Homer_Morisson Dec 28 '21

Whatever helps you cope is valid, friend... especially in the early days, no need to feel self-conscious or apologize... do what helps you feel ... well, not "better", but less ... empty.

Outside of drugs, of course... in moments of any kind of personal crisis, it is easiest to develop a lifelong addiction if one takes this treacherous "easy" way out...

2.2k

u/crazymanbos Dec 27 '21

Dont unfriend him, sorry for your lost

523

u/K-G7 Dec 28 '21

Agreed. I had a friend die a couple weeks ago and I couldn't imagine removing him from my friends lists. I would regret it in the future and there's just too many good memories with him to just wipe the memory away.

192

u/plaird Dec 28 '21 edited Dec 28 '21

I have friends who've died over 5 years ago on my list, it's still nice to go through it and see my old clan tag still next to his name

134

u/BactaBobomb Dec 28 '21

The gesture is nice, of course. But when you have games like Forza Horizon that populate your races with names from your friends list, it can be a real trigger. It doesn't happen often, but I have had that happen several times with a friend that passed away from cancer about a year and a half ago. It hurts every time I see them. But maybe I'm just not looking at it the right way. Maybe I should be looking at it as me playing with them again? But it just doesn't feel right. Idk.

I believe alos in not removing them from your list. But there could be reasons to do so.

39

u/A_Trusted_Fart Dec 28 '21

There was a post in the forza subreddit awhile ago with someone talking about this exact thing but in a positive way. Their friend passed away before Forza Horizon 5 came out but since it populates games with your friends list, they were still able to race with their friend in game, even if it was just the AI. It just felt like a really nice sentiment.

8

u/NoizeUK Dec 28 '21

I thought about this yesterday having just got the game. Feels a bit Black Mirror thinking they're trapped in there.

48

u/K-G7 Dec 28 '21

That does make sense; games that simulate their presence would for sure be tough!

140

u/plomerosKTBFFH Dec 28 '21 Helpful Tearing Up

Makes me think of that story of a guy who found his old N64 and Mario Kart. He booted it up and his dad who had passed when he was young still had the high score. So when he started a race he was racing against his dads old high score represented by a ghost character.

As I recall it he always deliberately lost if he was about to win so as not to lose his ability to play Mario Kart with his dad.

33

u/youthuck Dec 28 '21

Fuck that hurt to read.

13

u/sinosu 555 Dec 28 '21

thanks you made me cry a little

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2

u/unforgiven91 Dec 28 '21

I feel like I'd have a sense of kinship with their 'ghost'.

I took over my late father's steam account, so i don't have to suffer that. but i think I'd appreciate the competition

1

u/AddLuke Dec 28 '21

I had a buddy on scape that took his life a few years ago. We grew apart a bit high school (and totally college) but he was my friend in grade school who got me into scape.

Keep him on your list. It’s a nice reminder.

202

u/fagnerln Dec 28 '21

This is sad.

Everyone thinks differently, some likes to keep things that reminds another person evident, to remember everytime when it look at the thing. Another feels sad because it remembers the loss, and then hides what make it sad.

If you feel uncomfortable, just delete it, you will never forget about him, just don't need to remind everytime you open Steam.

64

u/nivvera Dec 28 '21

Good advice. It's ultimately there for OPs benefit. If the pain outweighs the good memories then it's probably a good idea to remove the listing.

26

u/Venrexx Dec 28 '21

Personally I think he should take more time to think about it. Decide whether he wants to keep it there in memory of his friend, or to get rid of it because the memories are too painful. Once this decision is made, it can not be undone. It's better to sit on it for awhile rather than act rashly and regret it later.

320

u/sackboylion 4400+ hours and counting. Dec 27 '21

don't delete him, bad idea

48

u/jaydenhall2307 Dec 27 '21

Sorry for your loss OP, hope you’re doing okay.

40

u/PL_Max59 Dec 28 '21

Aw man, sorry for your loss.If I were you, I wouldn't remove him. Just to remember the time spent with him.

245

u/WhirlyTwirlyMustache Dec 27 '21

I'm not telling you what to do, but I'd personally keep them there.

39

u/zork0736 Dec 28 '21

I have a friend in the blizzard launcher friends list who passed away 3 years ago. I knew him most of my life and I keep him there bc Diablo meant so much to us. Sometimes it hurts but it's good to remember.

27

u/Brecken79 Dec 28 '21

Nah, don’t unfriend. You’ll regret it and you can’t change it once it’s gone. Hold onto the good times. Sorry for your loss.

129

u/nek_wizard Dec 27 '21

Thank you all for your kind words.

14

u/[deleted] Dec 28 '21

Sorry to hear about your friend passing away. I’d keep them on, say hi every once in a while and remember the good times.

16

u/Critical_Newt_1291 Dec 28 '21

Sorry for your loss. I’m 29 and lost two of my best childhood friends - to drugs. Kills me man, hang in there.

3

u/Brisket-Boi Dec 28 '21

Same it's an epidemic so sad.

13

u/GechaTN Dec 28 '21

Take care OP. I'm sorry for your loss.

12

u/PinkFirework Dec 28 '21

I wouldn't, because if you ever wanted him on your friends list again, he won't be able to accept the request. Really sorry for your loss

11

u/CSGODeimos Dec 28 '21

Don’t unfriend him. Keep his memory alive

7

u/UlvenPer Dec 28 '21

Don't delete. My wife died 2 years ago. 42 years old of cancer. I love to see her name all around my apps and programs. And sometimes I read our chats. 💙

7

u/WangChi Dec 28 '21

Same thing is happening with me. My friend took his life in June. He’s at the top of my list. I leave him there because it makes me feel like he’s still somehow there.

4

u/MidnightsSerenade Dec 28 '21

Sorry for your loss.... Now I know this sounds super morbid and all, but my husband are/were apart of the same online gaming group for a long time. We've had a couple of clan mates pass on over the years. We've never unfriended them, instead they're in their own category on our friends list, which is (at least on my account) called the graveyard. Though I may change the name to cemetery.

5

u/[deleted] Dec 28 '21

I lost a friend from cancer 5 years ago. I was his only friend on Steam, as he wasn't a huge gamer. I still haven't removed him. RIP Axemonkey

5

u/XsMagical Dec 28 '21

I lost my best friend to a car accident back in 2008, we used to play CS:S everyday. I never deleted his account and I’m glad I didn’t. Now I can look at it and remember the good times we had. I’m sorry for your loss.

5

u/GrifflesMC Dec 28 '21

Please don't unfriend him. This just made me feel sad. Hope you are doing well now, and I'm sorry for your loss.

4

u/Largicharg Dec 28 '21

Do whatever makes you feel better. If you’d rather have something to remember him by, keep the friend, if it hurts too much to see it, unfriend him.

I should warn you though, I think Valve has a protocol to terminate the accounts of the deceased. They REALLY don’t want people getting a bunch of games without paying the store, which is why you can neither sell your account, nor make it out in your will.

5

u/QuarterOunce_ Dec 28 '21

Damn thats pretty young for a heart attack. Was there any kind of signs? I often worry about a heart attack being my fate. It doesn't really run in my family (that I know of) but if I ever get up to doing cardio, especially running, my chest will start to hurt. Right in the center.

Sorry to hijack the thread, I wish you the best. And don't delete him off your friends list I can't even bring myself to delete people that I barely know haha.

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u/squattingsquid Dec 28 '21

Exact same here... 7 months ago, my best friend. Unexpected as well.. the sight of his profile breaks my heart but as long as I live I will keep him on all platforms I have

3

u/cubanshadow Dec 28 '21

Don’t do it. My friend also died in a tragic accident but I still have em. It just reminds me of the fun moments we had

3

u/UndyingGoji Dec 28 '21

Don’t delete him, sorry for your loss :(

3

u/darkharlequin Dec 28 '21

while it hurts now as a reminder, it'll be worth it to have him there years down the road.

I still have the last email my mom sent me nearly 20 years ago.

3

u/sickdershit Dec 28 '21

yeah keep it... see it like a digital gravestone with days passed instead date of death... sri for my bad english. send u love

3

u/TastyTboneSteak Dec 28 '21

My best friend passed at 34 from a heart attack a few years ago. He didn't have steam but he was on my Playstation friends list and I've never removed him. For awhile I didn't want to believe it really happened and one day I might see him online again.

3

u/Juacquesch Dec 28 '21

The first of January 2017 my (then) girlfriend committed suicide. I was heartbroken. We used to play all sorts of games together and I will never ever ever delete her Steam account. She’s there, the days of her time offline count up as the years fly by. But it’s a way I can still have contact with her. Occasionally I still write her a personal message on Steam, tell her about my day or just vent a little about annoying people at work. She loved gaming, she loved gaming with me. This way I will never forget her and keep her with me.

I will never delete her Steam account.

8

u/Damien_Richards Dec 28 '21

It really depends on how you deal with the grieving process. Everyone is different. Take some time. Think about it. Make you decision when the wound is less raw.

5

u/jlenoconel Dec 28 '21

I'd delete him if it affects you, but keep him if you can mourn and move on.

16

u/sexybobo Dec 28 '21

Forza games have a feature where the AI opponents are based off the driving patterns of real players when you do races against AI it will always add in a few ai opponents from your friends list. When Forza Horizon 5 came out there were two stories on reddit. Both were parents that lost their kids a while back. One was praising Forza for letting them still race with their lost kid. The other was horrified that Forza would have their lost kid pop up in the game reminding them they are gone.

As your pointing out it all depends on how you frame it in your head and how as an individual people will handle things differently.

2

u/Bobleo2000 https://steam.pm/1o9p8m Dec 28 '21

I‘m sorry for your loss

2

u/Smith_Brad Dec 28 '21

Deleting can help move on, but it's not a bad idea to keep something than lose it forever. I think it's a good tradition to keep mementos of people close to you; You're not forgetting them if you delete them, and it is a completely open option, but being able to keep them in your friends list is — (I can't think of a way to explain this right now but) — but it's good, y'know.

2

u/0hzkhar Dec 28 '21

It's heart breaking to see the Last Online days adding up everytime you check on it. Sorry for your loss. Always remember the good times!

2

u/Virgo_Realtor Dec 28 '21

As someone who just had someone close to them die, don't unfriend him. Leave it for a variety of reasons, one of which is you cared about him and that you need to realize our time is short. Make it count.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 28 '21

Don't delete him. Losing him permanently IRL really sucks. But, deleting him will purge the memories you've had with them, just the friendship you've had with him .etc

It'll just worsen the emotion to delete him.

2

u/IceboundCat6 Dec 28 '21

If I were you I would keep them there.

Hell, I got sad throwing away my phone case a few years ago because my cat died during the time I was using that case.

That's just me tho, I'm a memento guy.

2

u/Leonard14Ghost Dec 28 '21

that is his digital ghost. You delete him, you lose his ghost into this vast ocean of information.

2

u/Mattnac890 Dec 28 '21

Don't delete him, it may hurt everytime you see his account disconnected but take it as a memory of all the good times you two had together, consider that account a way to say "I was here and oh boy sure I had a blast!" And use it to remember all of those good times instead of just focusing in the sad ones

2

u/devisi0n Dec 28 '21

My best friend died a little over 3 years ago and I ended up deleting them as a friend because I couldn't bare to look at the number going up day by day. I regret it now, but in the end you should do what you feel is best.

2

u/Ancient-Split1996 Dec 28 '21

Don't unfriend. Remember

2

u/tempjin Dec 28 '21

You can give him a nickname until you are ready to see their original tag again. All the best OP!

2

u/igorcl Dec 28 '21

Facebook has option to inform about death of a user, steam could do something similar

2

u/cornishpasty7 Dec 28 '21

You know what they say: it's better to have it and not need it, than to need it and not have it. I say keep it, maybe even check their profile every once in a while and remember the good times. I'm not going to pretend that I know what its like to lose a friend, but I can't imagine it's easy.

2

u/JermstheBohemian Dec 28 '21

Every time I see old pals from XBL or Discord that have not been online in years it always gets me thinking they they passed.

It's hard but I would keep them.

I replayed AC4: Black flag last year and entered a tavern and the NPCs were singing "health to the company" and I 100% lost my shit and ugly cried in front of my wife when the flood of memories came rushing in.

2

u/triplereffekt Dec 28 '21

lost my little brother this year, fentanyl OD. seeing his profile pic will Always break my heart :( fuck opioids

2

u/pumpkin_seed_oil Dec 28 '21

Friend of mine died in 2015. He was 28, same circumstances sudden heart attack, collapsed on the street while he was alone

He is still in my friends list, can't bring myself to delete him

2

u/Smile_lifeisgood Dec 28 '21

If he had kids you never know. One day in a year or 20 someone might login and be like 'Hey I am your steam friend's son I was too young to know him. You are on his friends list - what was he like?'

2

u/[deleted] Dec 28 '21

my friend hanged himself last year. We used to play 7 Days to Die a lot, so i favorited him to see if he's playing whenever i opened steam so i could join him. After he died i saw his profile every time i opened steam and in a way i was hoping that he'd come online. Weirdly enough today i "saw" him come online, then i woke up and realized it was a dream. He's still in my favorites and i have no intention of removing him from there

2

u/BoredVet85 Dec 28 '21

Dont unfriend. You will 1000% regret that. The memories are there and you never know one day you will look and just smile.

2

u/NapperNeo Dec 28 '21

i still have a voicemail from my grandfather that i wont delete. Same concept, remember the good stuff!

2

u/RicoBellic1998 Dec 28 '21

Don’t delete him mate, the pain will ease with time and everytime you log on it will be more pleasant memories if anything, if you delete him you’ll end up regretting it, sorry for you’re loss man ❤️

2

u/DragynDance Dec 28 '21

This is actually something I've been facing as well, my mother died around 6 years ago and I still have her on my friends list.

2

u/fordreaming Dec 28 '21

My best friend died in Oct 2020. Every time I log into a blizzard game, there his name is, I don’t think I’ll ever remove it. It’s a bittersweet reminder of my dude.

2

u/Jelloshooterchad Dec 29 '21

I have three dead friends on my list still. I keep them around and sometimes even say stuff to them. Like I miss them and tell them things that are going on in life they would find hilarious.

Josh - Last login 5 years ago. Died of opiate OD. (Best friend)

Brandon - Last Login 3 months ago. Was struck by car.

Pete - Last login 2 years ago. Died in car wreck.

Two of them are also in our friends discord still. I would never remove them. They are the homies.

2

u/sk8rboi7566 Dec 29 '21

Had a steam friend i used to play CS:GO with all the time. I started working a new job and couldnt be on as much and stopped playing the game for a couple months all together. They suddenly stopped logging back on all of a sudden. Its been 669 days since :(

He seemed like he was going through a rough time but getting through it slowly. Hope he is okay and just doesn't have a pc right now :(

2

u/uhhhhhhhpat Jan 23 '22

Response that is late as hell but, my brother also suddenly passed about half a year suddenly from a heart attack (26). Part of me wanted to distance myself from everything that reminded me of him but, as time moves forward I find myself glad for the stuff I did keep around as it gets a little harder to remember him. Like being able to see his steam profile and stuff, I'm able to more vividly recall who he was.

3

u/mTsp4ce Dec 28 '21

What do you want us to do?

2

u/Current-Acanthisitta Dec 28 '21

Sorry for your loss. I have a few unfortunate lost friends as well.

2

u/McDonaldsJFK Dec 28 '21

Dont unfriend him, you didnt unfriend him IRL for his 36 years, why unfriend him after a few months

0

u/TheMoonLordsLegs Dec 28 '21

Get exercise and eat healthy, kids. This could be u. Get a standing desk, and take breaks. Sorry for your loss amigo.

-4

u/ElkPants Dec 28 '21

Was he vaccinated?

0

u/CommunismIsForLosers Dec 28 '21

(My thoughts exactly)

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-6

u/Wooy Dec 28 '21

FRIEND DIED LMAO UPVOTES TO THE LEFT!

Not what this sub is for at all man....

1

u/SnooHabits8194 Dec 28 '21

I'm sorry to hear your lose :( heart attacks have been sky rocketing recently and I have a suspension to why..

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u/missingsauce69 Dec 28 '21

Can we give OP some F in chat ?

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u/Eternallydecent Dec 28 '21

If seeing their name makes you sad, you could always give them a nickname on steam instead

1

u/Dr34d_Man-96 Dec 28 '21

Sorry for your lost

1

u/doctorflipy Dec 28 '21

Don't delete him, and allow yourself to feel whatever you're feeling.

It's okay that you feel sad, let the emotions flow, and don't judge them.

1

u/seren_dipity01 Dec 28 '21 edited Dec 28 '21

i feel you and my warm hugs to you.

my bestfriend died Sept of 2016. i never deleted his account even in social media. please dont delete yours too. at least this keeps you to think of the good times you had with them. :)

1

u/Tyler_Coyote Dec 28 '21

I have a friend who passed and hasn't come online in some years. I can't make myself delete him.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 28 '21

if it was in your situation, I personally will keep it

1

u/Mattnac890 Dec 28 '21

Don't delete him, it may hurt everytime you see his account disconnected but take it as a memory of all the good times you two had together, consider that account a way to say "I was here and oh boy sure I had a blast!" And use it to remember all of those good times instead of just focusing in the sad ones

1

u/talalit Dec 28 '21

Yeah that's why I never try to hide if I'm offline or online or not, or what games I'm playing. If you set it always offline nobody would notice you're gone and you will be forgotten.

1

u/Foxy_Noxy Dec 28 '21

That’s terrible! I’m so sorry to hear :( don’t unfriend him, he’s waiting to see you again some day

1

u/JediMasterVII Dec 28 '21

Sending you love and strength. This time of year is hard enough.

1

u/BronzeHeart92 Dec 28 '21

And that’s why companies should do something about the Digital footprint the deceased leaves behind…

1

u/MandiocaGamer Dec 28 '21

You will get through this. Then you will be happy to having it there with you.

1

u/Diacetyl-Morphin Dec 28 '21

I'd not unfriend him, only when it makes you really too much problems. Better think of it as a reminder, that he was there and that you had some good times together, that you never forget him.

1

u/StoneD0G Dec 28 '21

Sorry for your loss, I've to lost to many friends and family lately. Your post made me thinking it would be nice to turn Steam pages into a memorial like with Facebook when users pass away.

1

u/Meowjoker Dec 28 '21

Don’t you EVER unfriend him

Keep him there as a memento

1

u/rebelx Dec 28 '21

Sorry your loss. Personally, I would keep them on my friends list.

1

u/Xaiydee 62 Dec 28 '21

Don't.

Also - at least you know. I have/had a friend with serious issues. Some time ago (we talk years) he just kinda vanished. I think he might be dead. Or not. Idk. Later there was activity on his Bnet and Steam. Idk if it's him or a family member maybe. It almost feels worse not knowing.

1

u/yeboslik Dec 28 '21

Had a good friend die on me this Summer. Hiy me like nothing before. Removed him from all IM clients, from steam, everything. But I am still remembering him, quoting him to my other friends from time to time (he was an interesting character).

1

u/WhatDothLife87 Dec 28 '21

a good friend died when he was 19, I was 18 at the time. I'm 34 now. His cell number will forever stay in my phone because he is gone but will never be forgotten.

1

u/Homer_Morisson Dec 28 '21

I get exactly what you mean... not the exact same circumstances for me, but I get why it is you're struggling to delete the entry from the list... that'd make it... final... final final, right...

Not just knowing someone you cared about is gone, but ... accepting it, letting go for good... that's the hardest part actually... it can almost feel like a sort of ... betrayal...

But at the end of the day, it's the healthy thing to do, or so therapists say... not like I've managed to sever all connections yet myself...

1

u/Tim2100 Dec 28 '21

Leave it there.

One of my mates passed away 14 years ago and I still have his name and phone number in my phone.

1

u/SodaPopperZA Dec 28 '21

I lost my friend in 2018 to a motorcycle accident he was 21, he was on steam daily since primary school, I miss him, not too long ago his cousin tookover the account and privated everything so now all I can see are his 4 VAC bans. He got all 4 while drunk and having fun

1

u/SoulRockX20A Dec 28 '21

Keep it, man. It may hurt but don't forget your bro. It may as well serve as a reminder that you became friends as a part of his life

1

u/ricoimf Dec 28 '21

Don’t unfollow him. A friend of mine which I used to play with on PS3 died when we where kids, even after 10 years I have him still on my friendlist, sometimes I think what he would do know, we would be both long adults by now.

1

u/sourTay Dec 28 '21

I once unfriend my best friend who passed away 8 years ago... It was a big mistake, now I will never see his username ever again.

1

u/NebulaImpressive4666 Dec 28 '21

Had something similar happen to me OP. Just leave it alone and think of the good times. They're still alive in our memories.

1

u/Jamesl1988 Dec 28 '21

Went through the same thing OP. My friend died a few years back and I still have him on Steam. His son now uses his account which was certainly bizarre when it came up that he was online.

Just think, once you delete him there's nobody there to accept your friend request if you later regret your choice.

1

u/MeppyMoppy Dec 28 '21

Yes, unfriending him would make him gone forever, I suggest getting a screenshot then unfriend him, and whenever u want to see his profile again just search up his name and steam, it’d suck steam reminding you of something everyday that makes you upset so you shouldn’t start every day feeling sad

1

u/DarkMonkey98 http://steam.pm/4617b0 Dec 28 '21

maybe put a link in your bio commemorating them if they meant that much to you

[url=(link)]RIP Steve 1985-2021[/url]

sorry for your loss btw. we'll all have to experience this grief at one point or another. it's just another test in life about learning to accept what curveballs it throws at us and learning to stay positive

1

u/isinare Dec 28 '21

Dont unfriend him sir, he will always be your friend, and he will be ours too, the gaming community regrets the loss....

1

u/CrumbingQuickly Dec 28 '21

You could create a group and manipulate it to make their profile not near the top of the list. It may help you in the short term. I surely agree with the other comments OP, I think you will regret removing your friend. Sorry for your loss.

1

u/NolanDevotee Dec 28 '21

From personal experience, I can tell you, please dont unfriend him. He will be gone from your list forever and you will most probably end up regretting it for the rest of your life.

1

u/tehWizard Dec 28 '21

Sorry to hear that :( Do you know what caused it?

Maybe this is a reminder for all gamers out there to take care of yourself and don’t be afraid to go to the doctor if you are feeling unwell.

1

u/silentlyhere Dec 28 '21

I'd give it some time. I felt the same before and changed my mind later. It's sad at times but reminiscing about the good times we shared is nice. It's a FRIEND's list after all and they'll forever be there. Take your time and do what you think is best for you. Wish you the best OP.

1

u/thor11600 Dec 28 '21

I’m sorry for your loss. Seriously, there are few things more painful in this world.

I personally would remove them, as I would not want to stare at a “reminder” every time I log in to my one of my favorite ways to blow off some steam - in my opinion there are better ways to remember and memorialize someone. The “days since last logged in” counter would really bring me down I think.

Do what’s best for you, and take care of yourself.

1

u/DaileyWithBailey Dec 28 '21

Friend of mine died from alcohol and painkillers, we would play tf2 now and then. He was a good guy. Just a little dorky but I was friends with him at school. We lost touch after I got a gf and I heard he passed away. Hadn’t been on his account in a couple years. Rip Robert.

1

u/juicevibe Dec 28 '21

Sorry for your loss. Have the same thing but for other platform profile and once in a while I'll go and visit their profile just to remember the good times..

1

u/Trifuser Dec 28 '21

I had a steam friend from Eastern Europe who for a long time was joking about suicide when our group of friends would play and then one day he just suddenly stopped logging in... After a few months I checked his profile I saw some recent cryllic text on his profile from another friend and after translating it the translation said something like "miss you pal", after about a year I ended up deleting him from my friends list because I didn't want to be thinking he killed himself every time I saw his name in my friends list.

1

u/DollinVans Dec 28 '21

My best friend died 8 years ago and I still have his contact on my phone. Sorry for your loss buddy

1

u/Bcomplexity Steam OG since '03 Dec 28 '21

I have a few of those sadly, dont delete them.. you will regret it. Just remember the good times. I'm sorry for your loss

1

u/rmcwastaken Dec 28 '21

Really sad. I know this sensation too.

1

u/BabyYoduhh Dec 28 '21

I am the opposite of a lot of people here. I won’t ever forget my friend. I don’t need a countdown on something I enjoy constantly reminding me. Just my .02

1

u/BlueDragon1504 Dec 28 '21

Don't unfriend. It's a good reminder and once you do, there's no going back.

1

u/yeahjoe55 Dec 28 '21

Sorry for your loss. Losing a friend is never easy, i've lost few good friends and i will never forget them. I kept one passed away friend in my friends list for several years until it felt right to remove them from the friends list. Take care OP.

1

u/LaryBarkins Dec 28 '21

Yea, that's hard. Happened to me few times already. Don't delete him by any means, you will regret it later.

It might be hard now as he passed away recently but as the time goes by you will get over it and look at your friends username with a smile.

1

u/Mrsnip07 Dec 28 '21

Do not unfriend him.

1

u/TheRealJayk0b Dec 28 '21

Same, lost one of my best friends 2019, he still has his teamspeak channel on my server, i thought too over deleting him but i couldn't.

1

u/Longjumping_Code_299 Dec 28 '21

last online 2 years ago. Hoping against hope you are in a better place Anna.

1

u/Divic0 Dec 28 '21

It’s gonna hurt for a long time. If it’s really bad for your mental health, maybe try hiding him or avoiding it, but I agree with the sentiment that you shouldn’t delete him. When the initial pain passes, you’ll be happy You didn’t.

1

u/ShokWayve Dec 28 '21

Sorry for your lost. Death is always hard. May his soul Rest In Peace.

1

u/KA1378 Dec 28 '21

Sorry for your loss; may he rest in peace.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 28 '21

TL;DR Best Friend Died, I don't have his profiles on friends lists but would delete. Long winded post from a tired dog dad uplate doing copious amounts of laundry.
Lost one of my best friends about 5 years ago. I have his ashes in a faux silver bullet on a chain. He gamed with us but was never big on steam. Xbox however was another story. I noticed when I connected my old account to my gaming PC with the windows app thing that I never had him added to my "new" Xbox account of which I only made because I had temporarily forgotten the password to the old one (still can't remember it for the life of me lol) so I just quickly made one to game with my friends ASAP but never added them all. He stopped gaming in our early 20's and got into Heroin. Spoiler alert, that didn't go well.

I can say with full confidence that I'm glad I don't have him on any friends lists. Here's why it's better for me.
Deleting my personal Facebook was hard. (Didn't use it so I just got rid of it) Losing his photos I had taken with him because they were removed from his memorial Facebook profile was hard. Losing all the photos because I didn't have back ups and they weren't on Facebook/online really sucked ass. However, I still am glad I don't have him on friends lists or whatever because for me it wouldn't really be "honoring his memory". Not truly anyhow.

He was a best friend, a brother to me, and a royal pain in my ass. I loved him dearly but seeing an empty tag being offline FOR ME feels a bit insulting to his memory. For me, as morbid as it is, I carry the dipshit around my neck in that bullet. It's tacky, ridiculous, and its gaudy. It's exactly what HE would have wanted. So personally, I would delete his profile if I had it on my list because I've got my own way of remembering him not to mention about 13 years of memories with him. I turned 31 about a week-ish ago and he passed when we were 26. Not saying it's the same for you and I would never tell anyone what to do. I can only tell you what works for me and hopefully it can help you come to a decision. Whatever helps you find some semblance of peace with the situation is what is best but can always change. I wish you the best and I'm sorry for the loss as well as the long read.

1

u/PhoenicsThePhoenix Dec 28 '21

I'm good steam friends with an older gent, we play destiny often. It's gonna be heartbreaking someday knowing he won't be coming online anymore. Keep them on your list if you can, that way it's like they'll always be there with you, but it's valid and understandable if that's too much and you decide to unfriend, I'm sure they'd understand.

1

u/backstept https://steam.pm/94fcf Dec 28 '21

My friend passed away similarly several years ago. Never even thought about removing him. Ended up being friends with his family on Facebook and it's been a comfort to keep in touch with them.

1

u/DilSL123 Dec 28 '21

That's really sad. I have an online friend that I haven't met in person yet, and tbh my biggest fear is them dying and me never hearing from them again. It makes me really sad just thinking about it.

1

u/RetiredAsianWarlord Dec 28 '21 edited Dec 28 '21

Don't unfriend, you'll probably regret it.

Wish I had my friend somewhere like this, it would be nice.

1

u/arleas https://s.team/p/nffj-fp Dec 28 '21

I personally wouldn't unfriend him but I might not want to see the account for a while because it would hurt to see it constantly offline. I think the easiest way to do that would be just to tell it to show only online friends, and then if I want to see it I can go looking for it.

Really though I guess it depends on how much "of him" is in his profile. If it's just a bare bones profile that shows his user name and a single digit steam level and not much else, then it's just a reminder of how long he's been gone. If he took the time to post stuff and decorated his profile a bit then it could be a nice way to remember him (when you're ready).

Ultimately it's up to you, but of course unless he has family that had access to the account, there wouldn't be any way of adding him back if you changed your mind later. I know either way you'll remember him though, so choose what's best for you.

2

u/4wh457 https://steam.pm/mysiu Dec 28 '21

I think the easiest way to do that would be just to tell it to show only online friends, and then if I want to see it I can go looking for it.

He could also block him. That will move the account to the very end of the friends list but preserve the friend status so he can simply unblock him in the future.

1

u/boywonder6387 Dec 28 '21

Same happened to my friend last year, 32 years old. He's still on Steam and Xbox Live, so much so that when I play Forza, I am still racing his drivatar. Closest I'll have to playing against him.

I haven't deleted him from any of my accounts because I like having them as a memento.

1

u/thisbenzenering Dec 28 '21

My brother died years ago, I can't bring myself to delete his contact info from my phone.

I understand your pain. Thank you for reminding me of mine. The pain of loss is hard but it gets easier to be reminded of the good things when some time has passed.

❤️

You are a good friend for keeping him in your lost friend in your heart.

1

u/lunarthexiled13 Dec 28 '21

I'm sorry for your loss man Keep that memory alive of him and stay strong I pray everything goes well for you

1

u/Gesspar Dec 28 '21

"The pain slowly fades, but the love is forever."

I personally wouldn't delete, because at some point I would be able to look at the profile and only remember the good times, and in a way, that means they're never truly gone.

My condolences.

1

u/NintenDork Dec 28 '21

My cousin committed suicide about 5 years ago and he's still on my list. Makes me think of the good times. Sorry for your loss but try to focus on the positive, however difficult that may be.

1

u/tv6 Dec 28 '21

I have several friends on Steam that have passed away. I check on their profile and comments from time to time. Nothing has really changed as no one comments anymore but with 600+ "friends" they are lost in the mix unless I want to look for them.

1

u/thwtchdctr Dec 28 '21

Don't unfriendly him. I was friends with a guy and his son and then the father was murdered in a robbery gone wrong. I still look at his profile every time I hop onto my PS4

1

u/FlavoredButtHair Dec 28 '21

No no no do not unfriend him. Eventually steam will just months ago I think.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 28 '21

This is one of the saddest things you can see. Dont unfriend him, he’ll still be around you, gaming in heaven and wairing for you.

1

u/wubbwubbb Dec 28 '21

Sorry for your loss. I lost one of my gaming buddies to cancer a few years ago. I was just looking through our messages just the other day. Don’t delete him. At some point you will look at those messages with a smile rather than feeling sad.

1

u/Kgarath Dec 28 '21

Don't regret the death, celebrate the life. Keep them in your list, you'll always be able to remember the good times you had and will have a connection to them even if they are dead.

The dead don't truly die unless they are forgotten.

1

u/seifeldin122 Dec 28 '21

I had a friend on Skype who died with a heart attack during an online call with me, that was when I was 14.

I am still traumatized by it as she was my first online friend, and the only person I knew from Thailand. She was very sweet and my loneliness faded as our friendship got stronger.

I am now 22 years, and till this day I still drop Happy birthday to her every year. Your friend is gone to a place we will go to too eventually, so cherish the memories till you meet him again.

1

u/TimeTravelerNo9 Dec 28 '21

Don't unfriend him. It hurts for now seeing his name but it will pass with time. If you unfriend him you can't reverse it. He won't be there to add you again. If his profile is set to private you won't be able to see anything on his profile again, now or in the future.

1

u/tsr4kt Dec 28 '21

Happened the same to me I had a friend who had an heart attack when he was 20 This was 9 years ago. I still have him as friends on steam, he will be there forever.

1

u/auric0m Dec 28 '21

im still facebook friends with my mom. my sister isn’t. we all make our choices.

1

u/Cerus_Freedom Dec 28 '21

One of my best friends is at "Last online 3 years ago"

1

u/RSpudieD Dec 28 '21

So sorry for your loss. I know it's tough but I think you would probably end up wishing you didn't remove them eventually. I know I would.

I wish steam had a feature to "hide" friends so your still friends but they're in a separate category if your list.

1

u/tallcookie Dec 28 '21

I'm sorry for your loss. :(

I have a friend on my list who OD'd almost a year ago, and sometimes it's really hard seeing his avatar grayed out, and knowing it's never going to light up again. But he lives on in my memory, as I'm sure your late friend does for you. As long as we remember those we lost, they're never truly gone. I hope you have some good memories to bring you comfort while you grieve.

1

u/xBlackDragon9 Dec 28 '21

Sorry for your lost! I would not delete them, never.

1

u/Zloty_Diament Dec 28 '21

I can imagine the counter "days since last online" being frustrating, but removing him would be final, since he won't accept anymore friend requests.

So instead I suggest managing friend tags in the list, so he just wouldn't appear as often.

1

u/beezus6 Dec 28 '21

Why would you unfriend him, so you can save space for more people?

1

u/Puzzled_Friend_9586 Dec 28 '21

I would, it hurts seeing the past. Ive had 4 removed due to this as well