r/TwoXChromosomes Jan 14 '22

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6.2k

u/MNConcerto Jan 14 '22 Helpful Take My Energy

Run.

If he choked you he will kill you given the chance.

Choking is the biggest sign domestic abuse will turn deadly.

Do not refuse to press charges, you were very lucky to get out alive.

3.4k

u/[deleted] Jan 14 '22 edited Apr 14 '22 Silver Gold Helpful Wholesome

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140

u/kreiffer Jan 14 '22

100%. First thing I thought of when reading this was Gabby. That poor girl deserved so much better and so does OP. Let’s hope this story doesn’t end as tragically as Gabby’s.

Get out of there OP. This guy is not a good guy and nothing he could ever do can make up for that kind of behavior. Stop tricking yourself into thinking he’s anything but a monster.

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u/appleandwatermelonn Jan 14 '22

Also even if you don’t die from the strangulation you can end up with permanent brain damage within a minute or two

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u/billyburgess Jan 14 '22

750% = 8.5 times

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u/BassLB Jan 14 '22

Explain

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u/bksenbonzakura Jan 14 '22

It's 750% MORE likely. If something is 100% more likely, it's already 2x more likely, so 750% is 8.5x.

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u/Mac_094 Trans Man Jan 14 '22

If something is 100% more likely, it is twice as likely but only one time more likely.

When talking about increases, either percentage or number of wholes, "as" includes the original while "more" is only the new additional amount.

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u/BassLB Jan 14 '22

They used more in both terms. You are comparing more and increase. 750%more=7.5x more, but 750% more does not equal 7.5x increase.

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u/bksenbonzakura Jan 14 '22

You're right. This is probably why "times more likely" is discouraged when teaching statistics, because in the example I used 100% more likely would be equal to 1x more likely, which is confusing and incorrect.

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u/BassLB Jan 14 '22

Glad we sorted it out. Now I can justify hours of scrolling Reddit by saying it was educational

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u/CertainlyNotWorking Jan 14 '22

I may be misremembering, but 100% more likely would be 2x, where as 100% as likely would be 1x. By saying a thing is more likely, you are listing only what exceeds the initial 100%.

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u/bksenbonzakura Jan 14 '22

You're right!

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u/Celiacantalk Jan 14 '22

If the price of something is increased by 100%, that is the same as doubling it.

E.g. starting price is $1.00

Increased by 100% is $2.00

Increased by 750% is $8.50

That’s how I remember it. Basically the initial value is 100% of itself, so it is included in the final value.

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u/BassLB Jan 14 '22

But both precedent and antecedent used the term more, so they are equal. But if it said increased 7.5x that would be incorrect

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u/stabamole Jan 14 '22

A 750% increase is equal to 850% of the original value, because you start at 100% and add the increase

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u/BassLB Jan 14 '22

They used more in both terms. So 750% more equals 7.5x more. If they said 750% more equals an increase of 7.5x it would be wrong.

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u/stabamole Jan 14 '22

Fair point, that’s a weird use of language though. I’ve never heard someone use a straight ratio like 7.5 times as an increase rather than an absolute reference

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u/BassLB Jan 14 '22

That’s the correct use of language. If you’re comparing terms you need to use the same. Either both use more, or both use increase, otherwise it’s confusing

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u/vodka7tall Jan 14 '22

Start with $100 dollars.

A 50% increase to your money is $150. ($100 x .5 = $50, + the $100 you had originally), so 1.5 times what you started with.

A 100% increase is $200 - 2 times what you started with.
200% increase is 3 times.
300% increase is 4 times.
400% increase is 5 times.
500% increase is 6 times.
600% increase is 7 times.
700% increase is 8 times.

750% increase is 8.5 times.

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u/BassLB Jan 14 '22

Both the precedent and antecedent use the term “more”, that’s why I thought they are equal. 750% more likely is the same as 7.5x more

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u/vodka7tall Jan 14 '22

If you're getting 750% more of something, you're getting 8.5 times what you had to start with, not 8.5 times more. I think the confusion is that we're talking probability here, not quantity. OP should have said 8.5 times AS likely...thus the confusion.

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u/BassLB Jan 14 '22

750% more of something, and getting 7.5x more of something works. The confusion would be if they used “more” and “increased by”, which they didn’t.

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u/puzzlednerd Jan 14 '22

0% increase means the same value you started with, i.e. 100% of original value, i.e. multiply by 1.

10% increase means 110% of what you started with, i.e. multiply by 1.1.

750% increase means 100%+750%=850% of what you started with, i.e. mulitply by 8.5.

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u/BassLB Jan 14 '22

So if they said your chances increase by 750%, that would be 7.5x right? It’s the “more” that makes it confusing

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u/CastellatedRock Jan 14 '22

It's the difference between "increase by" and "increase to" that people get confused with.

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u/[deleted] Jan 14 '22

[deleted]

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u/puzzlednerd Jan 14 '22

Nope! Saying something increases by x% means multiply by (1+x/100).

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u/BassLB Jan 14 '22

Your odds of it happening increased by 750%, the odds of it happening increased by 7.5x is correct.

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u/792blind Jan 14 '22

I think it depends on the context, like in an investment if you have a 100% increase, you double your initial investment, 200% is triple and so on, I'm not sure this applies in this case. I kind of get what the person who said 750% is 8.5 but I also feel like it doesn't make sense in this case.

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u/billyburgess Jan 14 '22

It would be the same in this context. 95 murder victims. 85 strangle victims 10 were not. 750% more likely to be murdered if your strangled.

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u/bicmedic Jan 14 '22

No, it's not. Seriously lol?

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u/not_a_moogle Jan 14 '22

Percentages are weird. 8.5 would be a 750% increase from the number 1. but it's given no context. You have to have odds of the event happening. so if the odds was 1 in 100, then the new odds would be 8.5 in 100.

The odds could be 1/25 (4/100) and a 750% increase is now (34/100). and 34 = 4 * 8.5 If the odds was 1/33 people (~3%), it would now be ~25% or (8/33)

So. yes if you wanted to find out what 750% of some event happening, you would multiply the initial event as a function of 100%

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u/billyburgess Jan 14 '22

100% is double the original value. 2 is 100% more than 1 or 2 times. 200% of 1 is 3 (3 times) etc...

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u/raptorgrin Jan 14 '22

Does this apply when it’s a sibling, not a partner?

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u/zlance Jan 14 '22

Yeah, he may not intend to kill you if he does. You still would be dead though.

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u/Culexquinq1988 Jan 14 '22 Take My Energy

Nearly happened to me a couple of times. It's frightening. It also angers me, when I think about what I sacrificed and was prepared to sacrifice for him. It was never enough. He treated me like a tube of toothpaste, squeezing every last bit he could. Screwing up my career and plans to travel wasn't enough. If I had gotten barefoot and pregnant, it still wouldn't have been enough. I was just a container he wanted to dump the contents of for a nice bottle on his shelf.

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u/Mister_Terpsichore Jan 14 '22

This, absolutely. Also, OP, you do not "gaslight yourself," that isn't what's happening at all. He's gaslighting you, blowing hot and cold on purpose to keep you off balance. When he switches from calm, rational, contrition to anger and blaming you? That is precisely calculated to manipulate you into doing what he wants.

I was recording because when this sort of thing happens i tend to gaslight myself a lot

Glad you were recording and that you are aware that gaslighting is occurring, but it is him gaslighting you, not you gaslighting yourself. I hope you can get away from him and heal enough so that when you look back at what you've posted here you can recognize how deeply twisted this man is, and how relentlessly he has undermined your judgement in order to keep you feeling powerless.

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u/uberDoward Jan 14 '22

This. Jesus fucking Christ I will never understand the "oh he's such a great guy this was just a misunderstanding" thought process.

NO. HE WILL KILL YOU.

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u/DisastrousDoubt Jan 14 '22

While I have never been in OP’s situation, I have been in an emotionally abusive relationship and it was really eye opening to me. I mean, i know why I stayed as long as I did. He loved me (I believe, still) and I loved him. It was very hard to accept that the unloving things he did were not outweighed by the love I felt.

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u/blargiman Jan 14 '22

its infuriating how deep in denial they are I don't understand.

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u/cruxdaemon Jan 14 '22

100% agree. Choking is a massive, massive crimson red flag.

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u/joeldupuis Jan 14 '22

He might be a good guy that can’t control his emotions. It is too dangerous for you to be around him during his rage. And on top of that he gaslights you and makes you feel like you are gaslighting your self. You know what you need to do you just can’t bring yourself to see it. Imagine if your daughter was in your situation what would you do for her? Go find who you are. You will need serious time to get over this relationship and figure out how to have self compassion.