r/TwoXChromosomes Jan 14 '22

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u/PM_ME_HAPPY_MEMORIES Jan 14 '22 edited Jan 14 '22 Gold Helpful Wholesome Starry Helpful (Pro)

It has been well documented that an abusers next step after choking is murder. Your boyfriend is one very small step away from taking your life. Please don’t ever go back to him, and find a therapist to try and understand why you are struggling with this. You deserve so much better.

https://www.strangulationtraininginstitute.com/strangulation-the-red-flag-of-domestic-violence-that-we-never-discuss/

https://www.mobileodt.com/blog/taking-your-breath-away-why-strangulation-in-domestic-violence-is-a-huge-red-flag/

https://amp.usatoday.com/amp/8426282002

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2573025/

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u/TootsNYC Jan 14 '22

Especially with his foot on her neck. That bothers me somehow even more than if he put his hands on her neck. it’s such a dominance move

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u/[deleted] Jan 14 '22

Putting your foot on someone's neck isn't a dominance move, it's a kill move. You don't do that unless you want them to stop breathing.

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u/cherrymeg2 Jan 14 '22

That’s what I was thinking. If your head is on the floor you are down why would he step on your neck. He could have killed her.

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u/BEZthePEZ Jan 14 '22

Exactly , huge huge difference between dominance and killing

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u/Mtnskydancer Jan 14 '22

And weirdly it’s a porn “thing” Horrible.

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u/Mediocre-Reference98 Jan 14 '22

People can consent to a lot of stuff. It's when it is nonconsensual that's the problem.

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u/mermaidbait Jan 14 '22

Consent to getting killed? Is that even a thing?

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u/Mediocre-Reference98 Jan 14 '22

Please don't take my comment out of context.

u/Mtnskydancer stated: "And weirdly its a porn "thing" Horrible."

I stated

"People can consent to a lot of stuff. It's when it's non-consensual that's the problem"

Putting your foot on someones neck in the context of the Op was nothing about being a dominance move, it was a threat to kill. However the BDSM community does have plenty of people who have a kink of having their head stepped on (usually very lightly)... it's why it's a thing in porn. I wouldn't say it is domination, I'd say sadomasochism. As long as no harm occurs, it is usually legal to consent to, but that doesn't mean someone is allowed to do it without your consent.

I hope that clarifies the matter somewhat. Happy to clarify further.

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u/Cosette_Valjean Jan 14 '22

Why are all porn things just repackaged violence against women? Choking, gagging, name calling, bondage, age play.

Disclaimer: I'm not trying to kink shame. Just wondering at how they're formed.

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u/WilliamNearToronto Jan 14 '22

The “porn thing” is squeezing the side of the neck. That’s not how you strangle someone. It does not impede breathing. And importantly, it’s only with consent.

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u/CrystalAsuna Jan 14 '22

Consent and context is a really big thing here dude.

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u/Powerful_Village2508 Jan 14 '22

For real. That’s some serious shit. Not only he choked her, in an emotional fit; he backed off long enough to change positions and step on her neck, too? Frankly, that’s terrifying. No self-control whatsoever. No self-awareness either. I’d like to step on his neck. He’s a real piece of work.

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u/gingerwabisabi Jan 14 '22

Actually, it's worse. I bet you money he's never destroyed any items he owns or choked a boss. She needs to realize this is 1000000% a CHOICE he makes. This man HATES her and is working up to murdering her. There is NO saving him. He LIKES being this way.

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u/INCORRIGIBLE_CUNT Jan 14 '22

This SO MUCH. I always tell my clients when they say “he just lost control” “would he do this to a coworker, a best friend, or his boss?”

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u/[deleted] Jan 14 '22 edited Jan 14 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/ecp001 Jan 14 '22

Yes, he will kill her but he will then insist that he didn't mean to but it was her fault for making him so mad.

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u/PM_ME_HAPPY_MEMORIES Jan 14 '22

Agreed, it’s terrifying.

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u/SaffronBurke Jan 14 '22

Yeah, that's literally attempted murder at that point.