r/TwoXChromosomes Jan 14 '22

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u/MNConcerto Jan 14 '22 Helpful Take My Energy

Run.

If he choked you he will kill you given the chance.

Choking is the biggest sign domestic abuse will turn deadly.

Do not refuse to press charges, you were very lucky to get out alive.

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u/Mister_Terpsichore Jan 14 '22

This, absolutely. Also, OP, you do not "gaslight yourself," that isn't what's happening at all. He's gaslighting you, blowing hot and cold on purpose to keep you off balance. When he switches from calm, rational, contrition to anger and blaming you? That is precisely calculated to manipulate you into doing what he wants.

I was recording because when this sort of thing happens i tend to gaslight myself a lot

Glad you were recording and that you are aware that gaslighting is occurring, but it is him gaslighting you, not you gaslighting yourself. I hope you can get away from him and heal enough so that when you look back at what you've posted here you can recognize how deeply twisted this man is, and how relentlessly he has undermined your judgement in order to keep you feeling powerless.