r/TwoXChromosomes Jan 14 '22

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u/SmallTownMortician Jan 14 '22 Silver Gold Helpful Starry

HE CHOKED YOU.

Good guys don't choke people. He is not a good guy.

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u/siamesebengal Jan 14 '22 edited Jan 14 '22 Helpful

I read somewhere a couple years ago that choking was the most reported type of marital violence that preceded male-on-female homocide/murder. The article essentially said, without explicitly claiming, that if you’ve been choked your chances of being murdered increased by something like a hundred fold. It’s just one of those signs that should always be taken as an absolute final conclusion to the question "should I leave", where hitting, however grotesque, wasn’t AS correlated.

I’ve been through this before. I left when they were in jail (which was longer than normal because they found drugs in their system). The fallout was insane with their family trying to get my family to believe I was at fault for instigating, but it was a growing pattern that I had just been quiet about other than telling a neighbor once who was listening— I went over to her apartment and cried for an hour once. Anyway, I moved to a new state and other than them accidentally liking a post I made somewhere a few years later, and their sibling staying in touch with me for years (really weird), I never heard from them again and it all just went away. It’s now been 10 years and I’ve never had another situation arise like this, confirming that I don’t cause it. I hope they’re doing well because if this stuff continued they will end up hurting someone and in real trouble. Point is, you can do it. I believe in you.