r/TwoXChromosomes Jan 14 '22

[deleted by user]

[removed]

8.1k Upvotes

View all comments

8.3k

u/g00ber88 Jan 14 '22 Silver Gold Helpful Wholesome Take My Energy This Tearing Up Helpful (Pro)

he really is a good guy

NO HE AINT

227

u/comedian42 Jan 15 '22

I agree. But while it's obvious to us, it might not be to someone in an abusive relationship. Abusers are very good at changing your expectations slowly over time and eroding what you view as normal. OP mentioned "gaslighting herself" which is often indicative of ongoing manipulation/gaslighting by the partner. It's not uncommon for someone to be self-aware that not trusting their own thoughts isn't normal, but be fully convinced that it is somehow their own fault.

OP, you might find it helpful to have a friend/trusted person read this post to you out loud in the first person. It's often easier to identify the abuse as well as your own breakdown in logic when you can externalize it.