r/antiwork Jan 14 '22 Silver 5 Helpful 16 Wholesome 10

So sorry, I'm broke so I can only pay you $77 for my food. You were great though.

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30.2k Upvotes

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419

u/Hoopduck Jan 15 '22

The US tipping culture is toxic as hell. Shaming people for eating out on a budget because an entire industry has convinced workers it's OK to be paid next to nothing? Ridiculous. People deserve living wages with tips viewed as an added gratuity or bonus for good service.

18

u/Fallenangel152 Jan 15 '22 edited Jan 15 '22

The worst thing for me is that it's now infecting the UK. People look at me like I'm an asshole when I don't tip even though waiting staff get paid at least the same minimum wage as everyone else and 99% of the time the tip just goes to the restaurant.

3

u/minnieminute Jan 15 '22

You should ask before if the staff get it or if it goes to the restaurant. That’s what I do, if it goes to the restaurant no tip

2

u/Hoopduck Jan 15 '22

I have worked as a server and appreciated my tips. I never expected them - but I was fortunate enough to make a living wage + tips. Some families have 100$ in their pocket and go out to eat once a month. I didn't expect them to pay for their meals and then hand me their change. They needed it more than I did at that point! In that same vein, I tip my servers when the service is good (and it is 99% of the time). Never would I think poorly of someone who didn't.

108

u/2002Kanz Jan 15 '22

Right?? Like i dont understand the people who shame others for eating out and leaving a lousy (or no) tip. I get that it's the employees way of making $ but it's such an absurd system. If i lived in America i wouldn't bother going to a restaurant at all. The customer shouldn't be responsible for giving the employee a living wage.

52

u/Hoopduck Jan 15 '22

I think most people commenting that way have been raised to believe this type of tipping culture is normal. Traveling to the States from a foreign country had me shocked. This is NOT normal. This is ABNORMAL and not typical of tipping experiences elsewhere in the world. We shouldn't shame other people struggling just because corporations are greedy, rich assholes. Make no mistake - corporations are doing this because they can. Not because they have to. They've convinced people that it's acceptable and "the only way" they can operate.

12

u/Aegi Jan 15 '22 edited Jan 15 '22

I think the more important part of the mentality here in the United States is that you don’t deserve extra things besides the necessities if you’re poor, and then ALSO: that may be part of the reason you’re poor, is because you wanted to do those things that were more than the bare necessities of life.

(Not stating my perspective, just sharing one common here in the US).

Edited for grammar

4

u/Hoopduck Jan 15 '22

That's a very good point.

-8

u/bizzaro321 Jan 15 '22

Nope, it’s just a fact that people have to tip until the system changes, and fucking over your server isn’t going to fix things.

15

u/Hoopduck Jan 15 '22

So much wrong with your statement. You can choose not to participate in it. You can choose to fight back against unfair labor practices. Saying, "we have to continue participating in this bullshit" isn't doing or changing anything. All that accomplishes is keeping things exactly where they are now. Wage theft + customer shaming = exactly what you've been conditioned to do.

0

u/sortaangrypeanut Jan 15 '22

Not tipping your waiter isn't "fighting back". Do you think that bosses care about whether or not their workers get tipped? The only person that not tipping hurts, IN OUR CURRENT SYSTEM, is the waiter. All you're doing by not tipping in some strange act of rebellion, is screwing the workers chances at paying rent. If we want to change the system, it's up to the waitresses to unionize and fight back, not up to the customer to think they're doing something.

9

u/Hoopduck Jan 15 '22

Read my above comments. I already made my stance clear when I spoke about organizing, striking, and stopping the perpetuation of wage theft. Action = change.

2

u/bizzaro321 Jan 15 '22

Eating out in America perpetuates wage theft

1

u/5LaLa Jan 15 '22

Have a poor award 🥇

-1

u/bizzaro321 Jan 15 '22

I literally said people shouldn’t participate in this bullshit, you told me that was a conditioned response and people need to go out to eat.

9

u/Hoopduck Jan 15 '22

You need to re-read what I wrote and leave your anger at the door. They WANT us to fight amongst ourselves. They are counting on it, because that ensures they won't be held accountable. Stop shaming customers and start shaming corporations. How quickly would tipping culture change if masses of people walked off the job and masses of people refused to eat out during the strike? There's more of us then there are of them.

2

u/sortaangrypeanut Jan 15 '22

I don't know why you asked me to read this as if this somehow excuses screwing over your waiter. Again, tipping WOULD change if people walked off the job. But you've got to have a savior complex if you think that you're somehow "helping" the staff by making it harder for them to not pay rent. Not tipping your worker only hurts them, not the business itself. The bosses don't give a shit if someone decides not to tip, but the waiter definitely will feel its impact

5

u/Hoopduck Jan 15 '22

I called you out for your "don't eat out if you don't tip' remark and you got big mad about it. You wanna point fingers at people in lower income brackets instead of multimillion dollar corporations, that's fine. That's your prerogative. It sure as hell isn't mine. Your tipping culture is completely disgusting and literally only exists because of corporate conditioning in your society. Don't just leave wait staff dangling in the abyss - help them challenge and change things!

3

u/bizzaro321 Jan 15 '22

You are talking to two different people, as if they both said what the other posted.

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-1

u/bizzaro321 Jan 15 '22

You seem to think that not tipping will change things, that couldn’t be further from the truth. Short-changing wait staff isn’t “organizing against the ruling class”.

You started this fight, this post was for waitstaff to vent about short-tips, you’re the one telling them that they are wrong for believing they deserve a living wage.

6

u/Hoopduck Jan 15 '22

Where, in any of my posts, did I claim that not tipping was the answer to change? Shaming people who can't or won't tip is definitely not the answer to change. Fighting for living wages IS. Venting is great, change is better.

2

u/bizzaro321 Jan 15 '22

You’re telling people to stop venting and “start changing things” with absolutely no further instructions on what that means.

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3

u/DancingUntilMidnight Jan 15 '22

it’s just a fact that people have to tip until the system changes

They don't though. Maybe servers should refuse to work for employers who don't want to pay a decent wage.

4

u/bizzaro321 Jan 15 '22

You seem to think waitstaff shouldn’t get to eat until after the revolution, good luck with that.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 15 '22

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1

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2

u/minnieminute Jan 15 '22

I lived in America for a few months and the tipping was so annoying to be honest. It was annoying at the end of my meal that I now have to pay an extra 15-20% On top of my food. I spent maybe $100s on tips, I coulda used that for something else but instead I had to take part in their stupid system.

Here in the UK we tip but it’s never a % of the meal it’s maybe a couple £ left on the table and only if the service was good

-1

u/Ltstarbuck2 Jan 15 '22

Because you’re expecting that person to work for free. If you can’t afford the tip, don’t eat out. Wtf.

Not to mention, most restaurants require the wait staff to tip out the bar and bus boys. That means this person served them and lost money.

3

u/2002Kanz Jan 15 '22

Yeah sorry mate, thats the type of mentality I'm talking about. You should be angry about the wages the people are getting. Even over here in Australia the people at McDonald's get $15 - $20 an hour. Restaurant waitstaff get a little more $

0

u/Ltstarbuck2 Jan 15 '22

I can be mad at both. Yeah the wages are shit, but that doesn’t excuse this.

7

u/bigtittiesbigpeepee Jan 15 '22

yea these blokes are wack out of their minds. "if you can't afford to tip, then stay at home" wtf... restaurant is a business there is a price, i pay the price, i get the thing. there is no random free money that i have to give to the person that's supposed to serve me. or else why am i paying like 4x the price for food????

-6

u/Stoned-Antlers Jan 15 '22

In AMERICA we have a societal agreement that you tip when you eat out and get service..eating out is not a right, it’s a luxury. Im sorry it’s so hard for y’all to understand. Waiters make good money for the most part, more than what you”blokes” are advocating more. The service isn’t included in the food..if it was you’d be complaining about american food prices. Please stop acting high and mighty because you can’t wrap your head around it..

5

u/bigtittiesbigpeepee Jan 15 '22

societal agreement

that agreement is stupid.

The service isn’t included in the food.

i know you think this is a "gotcha" comment but it's not.. lol. nobody goes to a restaurant just for the food, if we did that then it would be take out, but you want tips for those too. the service, atmosphere, table, chairs are all part of why the food costs its price.

-3

u/Stoned-Antlers Jan 15 '22

Lmfao..you are not paying for the service bud. Tell a waiter you aren’t gonna tip at the start of the meal..good chance your service sucks or a manager asks you to leave. It’s ok not to understand an industry you’ve never worked in…it’s laughable when you try and act like you do

5

u/bigtittiesbigpeepee Jan 15 '22

how much tips you giving people that bring you your food at taco shops? how about mcdonalds? thought so. sit down

-1

u/Stoned-Antlers Jan 15 '22

Lmfao..are the employees at mcds and taco windows making $2.13 an hour?

1

u/bigtittiesbigpeepee Jan 15 '22

LMAO all waiters in the country are making $2.13 an hour?

5

u/Stoned-Antlers Jan 15 '22

Depends on the state..it’s almost like you have no idea what you’re talking about huh? Weird

-1

u/bigtittiesbigpeepee Jan 15 '22

you have got to be kidding me. this fucking clown is out here pretending everyone in the country gets paid $2.13 an hour. i go on craigslist and BOOM sushi restaurant server FOH, $14/hr. any big city, most places, they are not getting paid $2.13/hr, who buys this lying sack of shit? "oh aktuallly theres a few backwater places in the country that can barely afford pay but the whole country is just like that too trust me I'm the only American on the internet" CLOWNNNN. you are out here acting like they barely get paid. it's almost like you're just ignorant and uneducated. Weird

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6

u/verbyournoun123 Jan 15 '22

Nah it’s not an agreement. Food is not a luxury lmao are you on the right sub you capitalist

3

u/Duosion Jan 15 '22

Food isn’t a luxury. Eating out at a nice restaurant absolutely is.

-2

u/Stoned-Antlers Jan 15 '22

It is and eating out is a luxury…deal with it cheapo

2

u/minnieminute Jan 15 '22

So poor people can never have a treat?

-1

u/Stoned-Antlers Jan 15 '22

Not on the backs of others…dude could have taken a little more time to save up for a tip as well. Poor people don’t spend $70 at dinner tho…thats just a lie to be a cheap asshole.

2

u/insertnamehere02 Jan 15 '22

$77 is not eating on a budget.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 15 '22

[deleted]

0

u/IZiOstra Jan 15 '22

Honestly it is just a screenshot of a receipt and OP hasn’t respond to most comments. Maybe this was a 4 persons table, maybe the OP added the text after the customer left, maybe it is just fake. Don’t trust the internet :/ .

2

u/[deleted] Jan 15 '22

[deleted]

-1

u/IZiOstra Jan 15 '22

Ah yeah it is posted on the internet so it is 100% true. 🙄 OP later commented that this was indeed for 4 teenagers. So while it is not ideal, 4 teenagers paying for a meal and not able to pay a tip is not really the narrative op was initially pushing.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 15 '22

[deleted]

0

u/IZiOstra Jan 15 '22 edited Jan 15 '22

I know it happens but it doesn’t mean I can’t be sceptical of a post on Reddit. And it turned out that I was in my right: if op had titled his post “4 teenagers paid 20$ each for a meal but did not have enough money for a tip” it wouldn’t have the same impact right ?

0

u/DavidtheGoliath99 Jan 15 '22

If you can afford to spend almost 80 dollars on eating out, you have 15 more to give a reasonable tip. If you don't, you have no business eating out at what is clearly a pretty expensive restaurant. Just go to a place that costs $15 less and give those $15 as a tip. Now, before you downvote me: I'm not from the US, and I find US tipping culture just as ridiculous as the next person. But changing it into a system where every server gets paid a living wage is going to take time, and in the meantine, you are denying struggling restaurant workers their only means of making a living wage by not tipping them. Their boss isn't going to pay them more just because you don't tip them. All not tipping does is make a person who has less than you more miserable. So until a law that dicates a livable wage for restsurant workers comes into place, a reasonable tip simply needs to be part of your eating out budget. That's not shaming anyone, that's being a decent human being to your server.

2

u/Hoopduck Jan 15 '22

Nah, it isn't though. There are more than enough people that tip their servers without us demeaning the people who can't or don't tip. Not everyone has the same socioeconomic story or the same beliefs & values. Things should definitely change. Tipping should be a gratuity, not a replacement for wage theft.

-1

u/DavidtheGoliath99 Jan 15 '22

No, there aren't "more than enough" people who tip. Because 100% of people need to tip so that a waiter can make a living wage. There's no excuse for refusing to tip. If you can't afford a reasonable tip, you can't afford to eat at that restaurant. So just go to one that's a little cheaper and give the difference as a tip. If you can't even do that, you're a pretty shitty, selfish human being.

2

u/Hoopduck Jan 15 '22

There's plenty of people who tip, actually. 100% of people tipping is never going to happen since tips are not mandatory. There are plenty of reasons people that can't or don't tip.

Shaming people for not tipping is a shitty thing to do. Poor people blaming poor people for being poor is a bourgeoisie wet dream. Shame corporations for not paying a living wage!

-10

u/dina_NP2020 Jan 15 '22 Helpful

Until things change in the USA, this is the way it is. And people are well aware that wait staff make $2/hr plus tips. So if someone can’t afford to tip - they should get takeout or not patronize restaurants at all. They knowingly arrived to the restaurant and stiffed

11

u/Hoopduck Jan 15 '22

Or.....or.....you could work together to facilitate the changes needed to stop this nonsense once and for all? I have no idea why this hasn't happened yet, but I hope it will in the future. "Let's keep paying their wages until it changes" does not equal anything changing. Turning one poor person against another poor person does not equal change. Action equals change. Walking off the job in droves would equal change. There's more power in organized striking and quitting than people realize.

-4

u/nobird36 Jan 15 '22

..you could work together to facilitate the changes needed to stop this nonsense once and for all?

And by work together you mean fucking over the worker and going home all proud thinking you accomplished something?

7

u/BioticFire Jan 15 '22

I see people always use this as a comeback but offer no other alternative. What's your plan on changing this system then?

0

u/Mrchristopherrr Jan 15 '22

So brave, so pro worker.

1

u/Hoopduck Jan 15 '22

Uh....no? Wtf? I have no idea how you leapt to that conclusion, but that's impressive.

-2

u/smenti Jan 15 '22

Lmao this comment reeks of privilege.

9

u/Hoopduck Jan 15 '22

Nothing like keeping things the same by keeping things the same, right? Great talk.

-2

u/smenti Jan 15 '22

Whatever makes you feel better about not tipping 🤙

6

u/Hoopduck Jan 15 '22

Cool assumption

-4

u/Mrchristopherrr Jan 15 '22

So you’d rather pay the owners and trust they’ll give a fair share to the workers? I’d rather pay workers directly.

7

u/Hoopduck Jan 15 '22

Hell no. The owners don't deserve a fucking dime until they cough up living wages for their employees.

-1

u/Mrchristopherrr Jan 15 '22

Exactly. If anything we should be tipping more. At least then we know our money goes directly to the workers.

2

u/Hoopduck Jan 15 '22

Tip however much you like, but also hold fast to the idea that things can change if people believe they can and should organize against the system that's oppressing the working class.

-1

u/verbyournoun123 Jan 15 '22

This is a blatant lie most states do not have a 2$ tip wage

1

u/Goliath_Gamer Jan 15 '22

If you can't afford to tip your waiter then eat fast food

2

u/Hoopduck Jan 15 '22

That's a conditioned response to wage theft, but go on.

1

u/Goliath_Gamer Jan 15 '22

No it's called being a decent human being

2

u/Hoopduck Jan 15 '22

That's your opinion.

0

u/Goliath_Gamer Jan 15 '22

It's the opinion of every decent human being. You tip your server if the service is decent or above instead of citing a political point to justify being an asshole.

3

u/Hoopduck Jan 15 '22

Ah, here we have a classic example of corporate conditioning. "If you don't tip you're a bad person!" Are they, though? No, you've just been trained to respond that way because compensating wage theft is normal to you. Tipping isn't and should never be mandatory. Corporate interests, not customers, are 100% responsible for paying a living wage.

1

u/Goliath_Gamer Jan 15 '22

Again, it's called being a decent human being. By all means, don't tip... Just don't be surprised when people call you out for being an ass.

1

u/Hoopduck Jan 15 '22

Annnnnd what part of our conversation lead you to believe I don't tip? I worked as a server for years - I always tip for good service. I would never expect someone to tip me, though, because I'm not privy to the details of their bank account. Some people don't tip because they simply don't believe in it. Who are we to judge them? Shaming people for not tipping is shitty.

1

u/Goliath_Gamer Jan 15 '22

If you don't believe in tipping then don't eat out. It's that simple.

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u/TriiCop Jan 15 '22

Eating out on a budget? This dude paid almost $80 for food he is not broke lmao

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u/Hoopduck Jan 15 '22

How do you know? For all you know they go out once a month to eat and had 100$ for fuel and a family meal. The cost of living is skyrocketing and people are struggling to afford basic necessities - how about we stop judging others for being low income?

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u/TriiCop Jan 15 '22

Actually OP said it was 4 teenagers that reeked of weed lmao

Chances are they’re not “broke” but just trying to save money for smoking weed all day and jerking off

3

u/Hoopduck Jan 15 '22

So we're shaming them for being teenagers who smoke weed now. K.

-1

u/TriiCop Jan 15 '22

It should be looked down upon tbh. There’s really nothing that good about weed and the exact same thing can be said for drinking and smoking

2

u/Hoopduck Jan 15 '22

There's plenty of reasons people use weed - and it has some pretty fantastic medicinal qualities. Drinking is useless in my opinion, but I'm not shaming people for drinking.

1

u/TriiCop Jan 15 '22

Please tell me the plenty of reasons

1

u/Hoopduck Jan 15 '22

It's not my job to educate you.

1

u/TriiCop Jan 15 '22

That sounds more like “I can’t think of anything because there isn’t anything beneficial so I’m going to ask you to educate yourself”

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u/Laneyb99 Jan 15 '22

Okay yes, it’s toxic, but this is how it is for the time being. What’s ridiculous is that someone spending $77 on a single meal decided that their server should make $0 for waiting on them hand and foot. It’s not a protest of the system, it’s a spit in the face.

3

u/Hoopduck Jan 15 '22

This is only how it is because people haven't organized against it. Tip or don't tip - but the customer isn't financially responsible for the server's wage theft.

1

u/Southern_Usagi Jan 15 '22

I’ve never believed in tipping. I actually had some of my paycheck taken away due to this when I was working in the restaurant business. The restaurant didn’t want me to be able to afford things I needed. It sucked.

I can still hear her: ‘Well, we’ll have to cut your paycheck then, if you’re not getting tips. It’d be unfair to the other waitresses…’

-16

u/bizzaro321 Jan 15 '22 edited Jan 15 '22

Don’t go out to eat if you aren’t going to support the employees that serve you. Customers are responsible for workers in America, that’s an unfortunate fact.

Going out to eat and not tipping is just a selfish rejection of that reality.

Edit: we shouldn’t even give these businesses our money in the first place, it’s one thing if you have to shop at a shitty grocery store, but going to a restaurant with $30 meals isn’t that.

10

u/Hoopduck Jan 15 '22

Customers are not responsible, and until you can organize and fight back - this bullshit will continue. You've been conditioned to point fingers at customers instead of corporations. Some people have an extremely limited budget - should they never, ever treat themselves to a night out or a meal because of fucked up corporate infrastructure? Absolutely ridiculous to believe people struggling are selfish when wealthy corporations rip customers AND servers off by propagating the lie that "your tips are their wages". Fight back! Organize!

1

u/bizzaro321 Jan 15 '22

I’m not conditioned to anything, it’s a fact that American servers won’t get paid enough without tips. I don’t agree with the system, but pretending it doesn’t exist isn’t class consciousness.

16

u/Hoopduck Jan 15 '22

Saying "don't eat out if you can't tip" is a conditioned response, though. Tips are great, but we need to stop encouraging wage theft via customer shaming.

-5

u/bizzaro321 Jan 15 '22

The idea that people need a $35 meal, served to them by an underpaid wait staff to “unwind”, is also a conditioned response IMHO. Everyone here could use some class consciousness.

12

u/Hoopduck Jan 15 '22

People unwind in many different ways. Why are we shaming any of them? I agree some class consciousness would be helpful here. Educate ourselves and others, bring more people to anti-work. Shit is NEVER going to change if we don't stand up, organize, and change it. Instead of saying "don't eat out unless you can tip", we need to say "don't eat out". Living wages are worth making a fuss over.

1

u/bizzaro321 Jan 15 '22

That logic goes both ways, why are you shaming the waitstaff who posted this? They didn’t get paid a living wage today, it’s completely valid to be upset about that.

6

u/Hoopduck Jan 15 '22

Uh...where have I shamed the server who posted this? I never once said this is the server's fault. They didn't get paid a living wage because their employer failed to pay them one - and that is the crux of the issue.

-2

u/nobird36 Jan 15 '22

Shit is NEVER going to change if we don't stand up, organize, and change it.

And how is fucking over the worker accomplishing this? All you are doing is making them work for free while you enjoy yourself. Very brave.

10

u/Hoopduck Jan 15 '22

How is keeping things the same going to change anything? 🤔 No one should be forced to work for 2$ and hour plus tips, that shit in not acceptable! Shaming non-tipping customers is a conditioned response to wage theft and that is heartbreaking to see.

-3

u/nobird36 Jan 15 '22

No one should be forced to work for 2$ and hour plus tips,

Yah, and your solution is to force them to work for 2 an hour with no tips.

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u/ilovewhitetea Jan 15 '22

thank you for the sanity.

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u/bizzaro321 Jan 15 '22

After a long night of repeating this conversation in multiple threads, this comment is a breath of fresh air.

Should we have a conversation about low wages? Obviously. Should we personally pay people low wages? Obviously not. It’s that simple, people can be upset with the tipping system without taking it out on helpless waitstaff.