r/antiwork Jan 14 '22 Silver 5 Helpful 16 Wholesome 10

So sorry, I'm broke so I can only pay you $77 for my food. You were great though.

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15.0k

u/Shruikathemonk Jan 14 '22 Silver Gold Helpful Wholesome Starry

American tipping culture is a cancer.

232

u/Anxious-Sir-1361 Jan 15 '22

I'm Canadian; the tipping culture is similar. What bothers me is what I call the “good-looking girl” subsidy. These are waiting jobs at chic spots where the waitresses bring in 6 figure tips per year (before they become real estate agents), more or less for being hot. I'd rather the tips are for those that need them.

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u/[deleted] Jan 15 '22

Friend of mine worked a bar in Montreal, compared her job to stripping with just some more clothes on.

The obvious downside I'll leave to your imagination.

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u/Anxious-Sir-1361 Jan 15 '22

I had an Australian GF years back, and she came and visited me in Edmonton. In Australia, they pay servers a solid wage, and there is no tipping. She was appalled by the tipping culture. She brought up the whole prostituting themselves argument. Part of that was her seeing some of my guy friends doing the honoured douchy married guy tradition of flirting with the waitress and her flirty right back (for tips.) Sometimes it takes the eyes of a foreigner to really see how weird and appalling a custom is.

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u/nujuat Jan 15 '22

As an Australian I'm worried that typing culture is starting to creep in with American run delivery services etc. Here, tipping is for when someone does a particularly good job at something. Like we tipped our movers a lot since they were really quick and helpful. But you assume they're going to be paid enough without it.

I feel this is problematic with delivery services since you're expecting a reward for exceptional work that isn't done yet. And then if you don't tip and they happen to do good work then you can't go back and do it after the fact (ie how it's supposed to work).

I guess the other thing here is that all tax is declared when you buy something, so here hidden charges generally isn't a thing. And keep in mind, things are a lot more expensive here than in the USA because we have better wages and no hidden charges to bump up the price.

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u/Superest22 Jan 15 '22

Agreed - I HATE that stupid 'add a tip for your driver' on uber etc. Never doing that.

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u/DrakkoZW Jan 15 '22

I feel this is problematic with delivery services since you're expecting a reward for exceptional work that isn't done yet.

Also, delivery isn't a service that often warrants going above and beyond, so there's very little reason to tip. I don't know how to rate a delivery other than pass/fail, and that's not a healthy way to handle tips

5

u/vurjin_oce Jan 15 '22

Yea I saw a picture of a maccers in America that had a pile of food for door dash deliveries that weren't going to get pocked up because none of the jobs paid a tip upfront. So insane.

1

u/dankchristianmemer7 Jan 15 '22

Use a delivery app. Have no cash on you. Don't tip 😎

2

u/Superest22 Jan 15 '22

The apps annoyingly now ask for one when you order food. So dumb.

1

u/cookiemonstah87 Jan 15 '22

Do they not allow the "tip in cash" option anymore? I'm too poor to order delivery so I have no idea how it even works these days

1

u/Superest22 Jan 16 '22

Not that I'm aware of (maybe due to pandemic etc)

1

u/Anxious-Sir-1361 Jan 15 '22

I lived in Australia in 2003-04. I did notice it was pretty expensive. I’d chalked that up to it being an island, obviously a damn big one, where certain things needed to be imported?

12

u/kyliequokka Jan 15 '22

Solid wage can be $28/hour for casual serving here in Australia. Tipping is a disgusting custom.

2

u/Anxious-Sir-1361 Jan 15 '22

I liked how professional much of the waiting staff were in restaurants and hotels. It was their vocation.

51

u/JradM01 Jan 15 '22

As an Australian who has visited both America and Canada twice, your tipping culture is utter bullshit. People removing your luggage from the back of a taxi and expect a tip, waitresses literally taking the food from the kitchen and putting on your table expecting a tip. It's crazy. In Australia we would tip if the staff went OVER and ABOVE their normal duties, but even then I can't remember the last time I've tipped anyone. It's just implied that your job is to wait tables, drive taxis, clean and anything thing you do in that job is covered by your wage, not paid for by the customer who's already paid for services rendered.

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u/cookiemonstah87 Jan 15 '22

That's how it SHOULD be here... I hate that businesses have been able to offload paying their staff onto customers for so long. Then they'll try to say raising minimum wage would mean they have to increase prices. How so? We already pay your staff more than you do!

2

u/JradM01 Jan 15 '22

Exactly. And you would find the increased price for the service probably wouldn't come close to the amount each customer is forced to tip. I remember being FORCED to pay 20% tip of the bill because it was standard and if I enjoyed the service I could tip more. I asked if the chef's got a % of the tips and was told no. To me, the food is what I came to the restaurant for, not the service so that's what I'd be tipping for.

1

u/Anxious-Sir-1361 Jan 15 '22

It is insane. We’ve both done the exchange. I lived in Australia too when I was 25 for a year and some.

Yes, North America's tipping culture is total BS. Primary services, an electrician/plumber, etc., you would not tip, but many lower-paid service providers try to create the custom of tipping. What is most problematic is how these tips are supposed to even the playing field for low-paid workers, but it's been co-opted in disturbing ways where money flows to those that don't need it - attractive people. Beyond bringing the food to the table, where the “service” exchange is, is when a super attractive Waitress comes out and flirts with average guys (often in relationships) that wouldn't usually be able to talk to her.

I should point out when we were younger; this wasn't quite as insidious. It would be like a bunch of 21-year-old guys (we were reasonably handsome) chatting with a 20-year-old girl and having laughs, often legitimate. She wouldn't care if we tipped her huge. Where it would be more “gross” is seeing the married men, or men in relationships, flirting hard with her and her reciprocating (within reason) to get extra tips. There are nuances to it all; it wasn’t black or white. I never blamed the girl for taking advantage of a situation her looks/ personality provided her… it’s the system that is f**ked. Another Australian friend worked as a waitress in a chic downtown Toronto bar. Her view on it all changed when she got to enjoy the benefits.

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u/ezSpankOven Jan 15 '22

Yeah and if you go in to the restaurant, don't give the waitress the time of day after she trys to initiate her flirty routine just watch the quality of service go into the toilet when she realizes she's not batting her eyes into a fat tip.

9

u/Tel-aran-rhiod Jan 15 '22

I really wish people on this sub would stop using the word prostitute in a derogatory way. Sex work is work, show some solidarity

2

u/kyliequokka Jan 15 '22

Except for when it's thinly veiled sex slavery. Which it mostly is.

1

u/Tel-aran-rhiod Jan 15 '22

Where are all you cottage experts on the sex work industry coming from? Have you worked in the sex industry? How many sex workers do you personally know? Sex slavery is a real thing that exists, and in some places is a lot more prevalent, but it's far, far away from being the majority or the norm in the industry

1

u/Anxious-Sir-1361 Jan 15 '22 edited Jan 15 '22

Thanks for your feedback, I agree with you. That was how my GF at that time, 2010 said it.

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u/Tel-aran-rhiod Jan 15 '22

Fwiw, if you're relaying something problematic like that, that somebody else said, it's a good idea to preface it by saying that the language is problematic, otherwise it can just serve to further normalise shitty attitudes

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u/[deleted] Jan 15 '22

[deleted]

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u/Tel-aran-rhiod Jan 15 '22

It's not the same, lawyers are not working class, nor are they broadly oppressed and persecuted. Punching up vs punching down

Also nobody uses the word "lawyer" as a slur, and the widely shared distaste many have for lawyers is not steeped in internalised misogyny and slut-shaming

1

u/vurjin_oce Jan 15 '22

No such thing as punching up or down. It's just punching. Also why can't we use the word prostitute as a derogatory word, even sex workers use it as a derogatory word and try to say they are 'adult entertainers', 'adult content creators', 'Escorts' and so on.

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u/[deleted] Jan 15 '22 edited Jan 15 '22

[deleted]

2

u/Tel-aran-rhiod Jan 15 '22

lol that's not what oppression and persecution means, like at all. it sounds like you just hate sex workers and don't understand social stratification

4

u/vanticus Jan 15 '22

For someone in r/AntiWork, that’s some strong pro-work and anti-worker as sentiment

1

u/cookiemonstah87 Jan 15 '22

Are telemarketers routinely attacked or even killed by the people paying them? Are crimes against them treated less seriously by police because of their line of work? Is it illegal in most states for them to do their jobs? I could go on, but it really isn't even remotely the same thing.

20

u/acb1971 Jan 15 '22

I had a friend that paid for her bachelor's degree waitressing two nights a week at a nightclub. She is very beautiful. She spent her summers traveling.