r/dankmemes Jan 17 '22 Silver 1 Helpful 1 Wholesome 3

We run background checks here it's pronounced gif

9.0k Upvotes

u/KeepingDankMemesDank Jan 17 '22

downvote this comment if the meme sucks. upvote it and I'll go away.


while you're here, mind voting on the new year's bash's winners? the fate of prizes worth $200+ lies in your hands.

473

u/fatspencer CERTIFIED DANK Jan 17 '22

The people who do this are lifeless neckbeards

236

u/Brian-_S Jan 17 '22

People who do this have always annoyed me especially if you get into a debate with someone. they bring something totally unrelated to the argument meaning that they didn't have a good response for whatever facts you were dropping and found something to basically discredit you and flip the topic

382

u/doctorzaius6969 Jan 17 '22 Wholesome

lol says the one who is hanging around in anime subs all day

181

u/Vamarox Jan 17 '22

Lol coming from someone who wastes his lifetime in star wars memes

158

u/MissionApollo7 Jan 17 '22

lol says the person who's always playing League of Legends

103

u/GuardsmanPete Born to shit😌 Forced to wipe😔 Jan 17 '22

Comes from a Pokémon fan who's also on PewDiePie submissions

65

u/notdragoisadragon [custom flair] Jan 17 '22

comes from the 40k fan

59

u/theacoustic1 Jan 17 '22

Says the guy who plays Valorant and Block game🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

55

u/PaulMcPaulersn7 Jan 17 '22

Says the person who has nothing better to do than post Duolingo memes

45

u/9ragmatic This post was sanitized with essential oils Jan 17 '22

Says the Sony fan boi

→ More replies

6

u/turty_the_turtle Jan 17 '22

Says the person whose avatar has a goatee? Wtf dude?

9

u/Hachados Jan 17 '22

Says the person obsessed with MuvLuv

3

u/[deleted] Jan 17 '22 edited Mar 04 '22

[deleted]

3

u/UnionizeYunyun Jan 17 '22

Me who’s both of those: 🗿

16

u/CousinVinnythelesser Jan 17 '22

Unfortunately for you, I see you agree with politician I don't like, you must be a nazi

Ugh, I feel gross for even role-playing that.

2

u/maximal2002 Jan 18 '22

Yes. I’m more on the left side of things but it it’s frustrating reading shit like that. Not everyone who has a different opinion is a nazi or communist. People don’t get that it’s important in a democracy that different opinions exist. Imagine their only would be only people from the left or the other way around.

8

u/Blackops606 Jan 17 '22

My own sister does this IRL. She’ll bring up something totally irrelevant and from like 10 years ago just to try and cut deep during an argument. It’s about winning the argument to her and not about listening or admitting you might be wrong.

19

u/dhudd32 ☣️ Jan 17 '22

That's literally every woman to have ever existed during an argument

3

u/fman1854 Jan 17 '22

At least that’s your sister my dad a grown man does this. It’s all about winning being right blah blah. Youl be in a argument say something that makes 100% sense and than it’s deflect into 8 years ago you fucking did this. And at that point it’s just like alright have fun this is off the rails stupidity I’m not going to be a part of

1

u/Blackops606 Jan 17 '22

Lmao exactly! She’s grown too. I wish I could say she was 10. Why are they like this!?

2

u/AllAroundAccount Jan 17 '22

The best phrase to use, that almost always works for me, is the very simple:

''What does that have to do with what we're talking about?''

And then just stick to that until you're back at the original argument. No matter what they bring up from the past, just say that (Or slight variations of it depending on what they say and how they say it)

6

u/Blackops606 Jan 17 '22

My dad always said, “what does that have to do with the price of eggs?”.

3

u/kia75 Jan 17 '22

My dad always said " what does that happen to go with the price of rice in China."

I wonder if each Dad has a separate item for the saying.

2

u/SayneIsLAND Jan 17 '22

that's neither here nor there

4

u/fatspencer CERTIFIED DANK Jan 17 '22

Tru

5

u/mandoxian Jan 17 '22

Sounds like Eric Cartman's tactic to win arguments lmao

3

u/DI0nysOO2 Jan 17 '22

Yeah, people be like: "Well, I can’t say anything against this, but look at this dude posting child porn". Just totally unrelated

2

u/DriftySquid Jan 17 '22

This is called a straw man fallacy :)

2

u/billyjk93 Jan 17 '22

God forbid you follow a conspiracy subreddit..all of a sudden none of your provable arguments matter.

2

u/DrBlackGuy99 Jan 17 '22

What follows this comment is making me crack up

2

u/loljkbye Jan 17 '22

The only time I do it is when I get some insanely misguided reply and I wanna make sure I'm not gonna be arguing in circles with a 12 year old. Saves me quite a few headaches.

1

u/SimplyBlackish Jan 17 '22

Man I think I need to do that. I think one of em scammed me. I thought I was getting parts. An he deactivated his account. 🤦🏽‍♂️

1

u/Lemmingmaster64 Jan 17 '22

What you are describing is the tu quoque fallacy.

1

u/Inevitable_Photo_559 Jan 17 '22

I think the only time I’ve ever not seen this was a disagreement where person 1 said something in reference to a meme and person 2 took a crazy amount of offense, going off about how it “added nothing to the conversation” and was “worthless and a waste of time”. Person 1 whips out person 2’s history of CSGO hacks, Roblox hacks, and questions like “how can I get this without paying for it” and follows up with “how can you judge someone for wasting time when [insert comment or post here]. Person 2 never replied back, it was pretty thorough and accurate.

1

u/mrbossmajor Masked Men Jan 17 '22

Imagine getting into a debate on reddit (Proceeds to smack rocks together to make water)

1

u/Brian-_S Jan 17 '22

Nobody goes into a comment section to get into a debate with people but you often find yourself getting into arguments with people in the comment section and trying to prove a point please tell me that I'm wrong because literally that's what's about to happen right now you have a comment I'm defending myself and most likely you're going to respond with something defending yourself or trying to prove a point that's what I consider to be starting up a debate or argument. Frankly I don't really give a crap I was just trying to point something out

1

u/mrbossmajor Masked Men Jan 17 '22

Hello brian

1

u/mrbossmajor Masked Men Jan 17 '22

Fancy meeting you here at this hour in this time of great salvatude

1

u/maxedoutmexicano Jan 17 '22

Like some pychomantis shit

Oh I see you love king of the hill a person of culture I see

Fortnite br not my cup of tea but hope you enjoy the game hehehe

1

u/Brian-_S Jan 17 '22

Yeah King of the Hill is like gourmet television LOL

-1

u/Penis-Envys Jan 17 '22

Wow wow what a surprise

The fact that you’re on a public forum posting things for the public to see yet get freaked out when you’ve said something that can be used against you

If you don’t wanna it seen keep it private or delete it

Ez stop complaining

5

u/Zlurbagedoen Jan 17 '22

Going through your profile i noticed you like liquid dead, which is offensive to people who have died of dangerous chemicals. DISGUSTING

6

u/Done-Man Jan 17 '22

Tbh i think i only did this like 2 times, once because i thought he was trolling, which he was. And the other time to check if someone was a downvote farmer

4

u/made-yu-look Jan 17 '22

Had one loser go through and post hateful comments on all my posts. I looked at his history and it was just him posting his tiny dick on a shit ton of gay subs.

1

u/MR-Makko102 Jan 17 '22

Those MF just doesn't have the balls to face the situation right on

1

u/willy-comics64 custom flair Jan 17 '22

Alright yea you’re clean

1

u/DrBucket Article 69 🏅 Jan 17 '22

Why they putting all that stuff on their profile then?

1

u/jal2_ The OC High Council Jan 17 '22

the only time in my life I checked a profile was when its onlyhoes and I just wanna see more of her free content she posts here...I can't remember a single goddamn time I checked out what a random redditor posted before I replied to his comment (or after)

1

u/BlamestheJews Jan 17 '22

I posted something about losing my grandpa (now that I've healed, I realize I shouldn't have posted it anyway) and then a week later I made an innocent joke about someone.

The joke was literally:

[Him]: "These famous people were nobodies when I was younger"

[Me]: "And now you're the nobody! It's the circle of liiiiiife"

[Him]: "Why don't you go relapse with your fat girlfriend? I bet your grandpa is proud of you"

0

u/Ravens_Quote Eic memer Jan 17 '22

Hey, i TaKe OfFeNsE tO tHaT!1!!1!

Note: I think my response time was about 1 hour.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

184

u/impulse37 Jan 17 '22 Wholesome

Redditors do more thorough background checks than the US Senate.

47

u/UnionizeYunyun Jan 17 '22

Yet whenever redditors come together, it’s for the stupidest reasons like praising a frog

28

u/Ahtomogger Jan 17 '22

Says the guy posting smile sweet sister memes in 2022

14

u/SavageSauce01 ☣️ Jan 17 '22

Says the guy who plays rocket league

6

u/The_Knife_Pie Jan 17 '22

Says the person who posts about cars

2

u/Wizard_Blizard Jan 17 '22

Says the guy who likes cars

5

u/SFLADC2 Jan 17 '22

The US senate doesn't really do background checks unless you're talking about appointment confirmations.

3

u/impulse37 Jan 17 '22

Oh? I am not aware. I was really just making a backhanded comment referring to a Lauren Norbert post about how she had multiple arrests in the past. In retrospect, I did not fact check that and probably should not perpetuate something I do not know to be true.

3

u/SFLADC2 Jan 17 '22

Lauren Boebert is actually in the house of representatives not the senate- they really can't do background checks on the members themselves, it's basically whoever wins the campaign thats a citizen and doesn't have a felony gets sent to Washington lol. Results in a few odd balls

1

u/impulse37 Jan 17 '22

Thanks for the quick lesson sir/madam. I am actually Canadian but intrigued by the drama and divide of US politics.

2

u/SFLADC2 Jan 17 '22

Np! yeah our system's maddness rn is basically the world's #1 reality TV show haha, lot more entertaining when ya know the lore lol

2

u/R3lay0 INFECTED Jan 17 '22

Look at him, posting from a second account

49

u/tkTheKingofKings Jan 17 '22

I like crabs 🦀

63

u/MrDraiger Jan 17 '22

Your earlier posts indicate you have cancer

35

u/Anywhere_Total Jan 17 '22

Hmm, had to look at your profile before upvoting, yeah you good

12

u/Z3nFi3R Jan 17 '22 edited Jan 17 '22

men rights

10

u/That_guy43218 Jan 17 '22

Women lefts

10

u/xIXBearXIx Jan 17 '22

What did Kevin do to you bro?

8

u/ruaboi Jan 17 '22

People can See my profile :'(

30

u/That_guy43218 Jan 17 '22

If you dont want people to see your profile, follow these simple steps

  1. Go to settings
  2. Delete profile

2

u/The_lord_of_porn Jan 17 '22

I mean you only have 3 comments on actual nsfw subs so your better than the rest of us

1

u/matrix445 Jan 26 '22

I counted 4

5

u/notmyname59 Jan 17 '22

Commenting here just so the next time someone checks my profile they see this. Get got you sweaty virgin lol

5

u/khululz_mate Jan 17 '22

Well that unrelatable af

3

u/mikk491r Jan 17 '22

You'll only have fun with mine

Thank me later lol

2

u/eternalmeowmeow Jan 17 '22

go on try me....

2

u/That_guy43218 Jan 17 '22

You try me first brah

2

u/eternalmeowmeow Jan 17 '22

alright brah

update - holy shit mf nice

2

u/That_guy43218 Jan 17 '22

Nice right back at you brah

2

u/ninja_toffe Jan 17 '22

we do more back ground checks then gun sellers

0

u/RemagFiveOUn Jan 17 '22

Literally any background check is more than gun sellers

1

u/OhNoMeIdentified Jan 17 '22

I don't even care, i go to some "intellectual" conversation after writing comment at OKBR about some poopshitpiss and feel alright.

1

u/Night-Hawk-111 Jan 17 '22

SpongeBob is on Reddit lets goo

1

u/AutoCaption Jan 17 '22

Don't worry officer everything is fine 😁

1

u/lord_of_failure_576 Jan 17 '22

i like having to explain how i am not a nazi

5

u/R3lay0 INFECTED Jan 17 '22

If you have to keep explaining that you're not a nazi maybe you should rethink your views

1

u/lord_of_failure_576 Jan 17 '22

my views are fine its just people think my ideas directly respond to or are inspired by art i draw

1

u/Suspicious_Exchange2 Jan 17 '22

its in my username tho

1

u/Daymo741 Jan 17 '22

Go ahead, enjoy some quality content

1

u/Narriz ☝ FOREVER NUMBER ONE ☝ Jan 17 '22

Im pretty sure SpongeBob is scrolling through Tumblr in this gif

1

u/FallenPluto Jan 17 '22

I never understood why people would do this

1

u/That_guy43218 Jan 17 '22

Where is my crusty burgir SpongeBob?

1

u/[deleted] Jan 17 '22

please dont check my comment history

1

u/The_lord_of_porn Jan 17 '22

You really like the back door

1

u/[deleted] Jan 17 '22

guess i do

1

u/ragefaze Jan 17 '22

I waste a lot of time having questionable arguments on reddit. I cannot fathom the amount of spare time it would take to background check people also.

1

u/The_lord_of_porn Jan 17 '22

Honestly it’s not too bad since if someone repeatedly does it you can scroll pretty fast through they’re comments and it only takes like 5-10 minutes. OP however I could only find one comment from 190 days ago on a sub I assume he found by accident

1

u/KingLdog2009 Jan 17 '22

I was looking as your post for the joke. I can’t find this one

1

u/Dans_Old_Games_Room Jan 17 '22

Thank god you people can't find my alt accounts.

Y....... You can't, right?

1

u/[deleted] Jan 17 '22

I taught redditors are better then this

1

u/WolfRex5 Jan 17 '22

The amount of times people have done this.. I just call them a creepy stalker and block them.

1

u/antonio_lewit Jan 17 '22

I have nsfw content on my profile

1

u/Gold-Yoshi Jan 17 '22

I only do this to see if someone is satire. Alternatively, if they are rude I use it to see if they are normally rude.

1

u/Beboool Jan 17 '22

Ain't he scrolling Tumblr tho?

1

u/donutz_be_good Jan 17 '22

Ive honestly never cared to check anyone’s profile

1

u/Legendary-Walk Jan 17 '22

Good thing this post is filled with comments who would even look at my profile

1

u/RandomTurtles033 Jan 17 '22

Socialism leads to a higher physical quality of life than capitalism. Run a background check on that bitches.

1

u/MR_GALAXYY Jan 17 '22

I forgot that sometimes people can check my profile, please don't, it's highly questionable stuff there.

1

u/Glittering_Data8437 Jan 17 '22

Run my back ground all you want. You'll find I give 0 fucks.

1

u/The_llama123 Jan 17 '22

Don't

Please don't

1

u/PuertoricanDude88 Boston Meme Party Jan 17 '22

They can go ahead, chances are they will regret seeing what I post.

1

u/xl-imperium-lx Proud furry Jan 17 '22

comer una polla

1

u/Disorganized_Closet r/memes fan Jan 17 '22

My bio has never been more relevant

1

u/Tropical_Nighthawk55 Red Jan 17 '22

Looking through someone’s profile automatically forfeits your argument

1

u/DrBlackGuy99 Jan 17 '22

has pic of arm** still gets ppl saying i am pretending to be black

1

u/lunawolfwof Jan 17 '22

I do this in a fight. I get something to hold against them.

1

u/oylesine2019 Jan 17 '22

people do this on twitter tho

1

u/fman1854 Jan 17 '22

I’ve never checked someone profile before that’s some fufu shit

1

u/w00tyw00terson Jan 17 '22

Idk why I thought tumblr was gonna big

1

u/TheSlumpSedative Jan 17 '22

So accurate! 👍🏿

1

u/Acrobatic-Mode3379 ☣️ Jan 17 '22

That happened to me one time. I commented on this one anime post and this guy said "dude, you comment on fucking inflation subreddits go outside."

1

u/Jfrog22 Jan 18 '22

I saw a comment today and the guy was saying he works on film sets, to check his profile if you didn’t believe him.

Turns out he was legit. But also tonnes of pictures of him eating man ass….

1

u/sgj5788 Jan 18 '22

Wait, what?!

1

u/Flimpti-dimpti Jan 18 '22

You’re looking for dirt on me, aren’t ya? Couldn’t find a good comeback so you’re lookin for the subs that are “only for the stupids” that I go on huh? Pathetic, at least get a job for background checks. You’ll at least get money for wasting your own time.

1

u/Dohts75 Jan 18 '22

Damn y'all rly be making me wanna go back and delete all my comments. .

1

u/MastermuffinDiscord Jan 18 '22

heh

I have nothing to hide

1

u/Erect-Frog Jan 18 '22

There’s nothing suspicious about me

-7

u/RiftHunter4 Jan 17 '22

This is how I got my first ban. Mods considered it doxxing even though the OP was blatantly trolling lol.

How is it doxxing it is their public reddit posts? LOL

-8

u/Kwarc100 Jan 17 '22

This was so funny that the children in my basemenr laughed, my grandpa had to correct them but he misstook them for jews and gased them insted, ah alzheimer