r/funny Verified Apr 27 '22 Wholesome 6 That Smile 1 Silver 9 Helpful 9

Why I have a beard Verified

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74.0k Upvotes

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3.0k

u/sarzec Apr 27 '22 Helpful

Also, my wife hates my stupid face

438

u/intervested Apr 27 '22 edited Apr 27 '22

Met my wife with a beard. Sometimes I have to shave it for work...she is not a fan. Beard stays unless absolutely necessary.

435

u/Sauron_the_Deceiver Apr 27 '22

It's cute that you shave it for her.

144

u/intervested Apr 28 '22

Took me a minute...

44

u/Chato_Pantalones Apr 28 '22

What, that his wife doesn’t like it when he shaves her beard or how big of a beard she had when they met versus now?

35

u/calamitycook Apr 28 '22

Neither has their own beard. They have a pet face.

10

u/KristoHam Apr 28 '22

What on earth is a "pet face"?

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u/ohyeahumm Apr 28 '22

think “i met my wife who had a beard” joke is that it’s cute he does the work for her but she doesn’t like shaving her beard in the first place

very contextually based joke

i like it 🤷🏼‍♂️

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u/Jonathanese Apr 28 '22

OK I read this 3 different ways.

  1. You had beard when you met your wife. You shave it for high-profile meetings or food or something.
  2. Wife had beard when you met her, and shave it for her when she needs to for work.
  3. You had beard when you met your wife. The "work" is also....for your wife. Gotta reduce the sandpaper grit while you're working downstairs, if you catch me.

4

u/Salvaje516 Apr 28 '22

What if this person a lesbian and the term "beard" is referencing a man that her wife likes to be seen with in order to hide her sexual orientation? She sometimes talks her wife into going on work trips without the "beard", but her wife is not a fan...

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u/Jonathanese Apr 28 '22

And now we have #4.

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u/ShiftZestyclose Apr 28 '22

Ok. Y'all breaking my head logic

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u/Roland2pt0 Apr 28 '22 Wholesome

I met my wife without a beard and had never had one. I grew one out on a whim one month, then I shaved it off a couple months later. She said I needed to grow it out again immediately and I've been stuck with it for about 7 years.

24

u/arothmanmusic Apr 28 '22

Same. I never had one in my life. Grew one in my late 30s. She likes it. Now I’m stuck.

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u/ilovecashews Apr 28 '22

Wife said she wouldn’t marry me until she saw my chin. I said I bet she would. I won that bet. She’s never seen my face shaved.

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u/Mr_Mung Apr 28 '22

Keep up the good work

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u/JillGr Apr 27 '22

Same with my partner and I. He’s had a beard for as long as I’ve known him. Two years ago he shaved and I couldn’t look at him straight in the face for like a week.

3

u/max_adam Apr 28 '22

Like it would feel like cheating with another one but not really.

17

u/United_Duty_643 Apr 27 '22

I met my current gf with a rather short beard. I’ve grown it out a bit over time and slowly trimmed it so it would be a little bit longer. Then one day I went back to the original length it was and she was upset that it was so short. So I told her “this is how I always kept it. This is what you met me with” and quickly realized. She likes full beards lmao.

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u/the_amatuer_ Apr 27 '22 edited Apr 28 '22

Don't worry you're not the only one. Your wife hates my stupid face too.

254

u/momsspaghetti93 Apr 27 '22

One of us. One of us. One of us.

52

u/[deleted] Apr 27 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

59

u/yourmansconnect Apr 27 '22

you only think that

37

u/markofcontroversy Apr 28 '22

I usually have a beard during the winter. When I shaved one of the new admins who hadn’t seen me shaven before literally pointed at me cried out “You have a fat face!”

Fat face hidden by a beard confirmed.

7

u/Nodiggity1213 Apr 28 '22

I grew a pandemic mustache best decision of my life, shaved my pandemic mustache saddest decision of my life. The confidence that comes with the stash is truly remarkable.

4

u/GaryG7 Apr 28 '22

When I shaved off my beard a few years ago, I kept the mustache as a joke (My mustache doesn't look good on it's own). I went to my favorite bar and sat down. The bartender turned around, saw my mustache and nearly screamed.

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u/Ceefax81 Apr 27 '22

Join the club, my wife hates your stupid face too.

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u/the_amatuer_ Apr 27 '22

Really? Let me roll over in bed and ask her.

21

u/rewardsthroway Apr 27 '22

Damn your hand can talk?

21

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '22

This one guy married this other guy's hand?

Where is that legal? Asking for a friend.

20

u/burningriverallstar Apr 28 '22

I also choose this guy’s hand.

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u/partytown_usa Apr 27 '22

Not op’s wife, but I hate both your faves too.

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u/chronic_ice_tea Apr 28 '22

I hear you. I have a beard going plus I wear glasses and I wear a baseball cap and when worn all together I get complimented by the wife.

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u/EntMD Apr 27 '22

Honestly, I hate my stupid face.

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u/[deleted] Apr 27 '22

[deleted]

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u/GiantJawa Apr 28 '22

I was called a Kardashian in quarantine by my mom when I put on a spare white cloth mask and not my usual mask that covered my beard also. It was the Kardashian part that hurt the most not so much my face looking like a full bush hiding in a pair of panties.

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u/MaracaBalls Apr 27 '22

My wife cried when I shaved my face :/, lol

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u/Truegold43 Apr 28 '22

No joke, there are entire compilations of people (kids mostly) bursting into tears upon seeing their fathers beardless for the first time.

It's so terrible but also so freaking funny.

23

u/BaronVonBS Apr 28 '22 edited Apr 28 '22

Happened to me when I was a kid. Had never seen my dad without a beard, no idea he was shaving it off. He walks out of the bathroom with just a moustache, and I ran away crying, screaming "you're not my dad!"

This was 15-20 years ago, and it's still the only time I've ever seen my dad without a beard.

Edit - forgot I'm old, it was 25-30 years ago.

10

u/rinanlanmo Apr 28 '22

My dad has always had a beard, because when he was younger he got hit by a car on the highway. Which launched him up and he got hit by the car behind it. And it destroyed his jaw.

Honestly, 80s medicine in Korea musta been pretty baller because what he was left with is a relatively minor scar. But it's always bothered him, so he always had a beard.

Seeing him clean shaven when he first became a firefighter definitely fucked with my like 6 year old brain.

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u/The_Running_Free Apr 28 '22

The kid thing makes more sense because they have likely never seen their dad without a beard and may not have even known it was possible so they literally don’t recognize you lol it makes absolutely no sense for a grown ass person to cry though.

Growing up, my old man almost always had a beard and looked weird to me whenever he shaved it lol

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u/SelmaFudd Apr 27 '22

My wife hates my stupid beard, but I hate her more so it stays. It's like a 20 year long game of chicken at this point

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u/throwmeaway322zzz Apr 27 '22

Damn I'm glad I'm single

49

u/SuedeVeil Apr 28 '22

Bah my husband and I have been together like 24 years now and we're best friends and enjoy each other's company and still go on dates and goof around and make each other laugh.. do people sometimes get annoying you live with? Well yeah. But not every older married couple hates each other

19

u/SelmaFudd Apr 28 '22 edited Apr 28 '22

Lol yeah I'm just having one of those days

24

u/Yung_Turbo Apr 28 '22

I work with a guy who is 89 years old (im 24), and everyone else always used to ask him why he wouldn’t retire. He’d always reply “because then I have to spend all day with my wife instead of just part of it.” His wife is already retired and has been for 20+ years.

However, if you ask him anything about his wife as far as who she is as a person, what she likes to do, how they spend time together, etc, he has nothing but the best things to say. He’ll talk about how beautiful she still is at 86 years old, how he loves to watch her garden while he listens to baseball games on the radio, how for the last 70 years she has packed his lunch for him every morning before he leaves for work.

Who am I to judge their relationship dynamic? Yeah him not wanting to retire so he’s not home with her all day sounds problematic, but also some partners just prefer to have a lot of time away from each other, and then the times they are together are that much more special.

He’s just most likely an old guy who’s too proud to admit that type of thing. Or maybe I’m just being optimistic and he really does hate his wife. I just prefer to think that even at his age, he still understands we all need that alone time, and it makes him appreciate his wife that much more, and to him he gets that alone time at work so that’s why he doesn’t retire.

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u/kainxavier Apr 27 '22

None of us do.

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u/Saltbaye Apr 27 '22 edited Apr 27 '22

My gf told me she’d literally leave me, if I shaved. I look awful without facial hair, so I think she’s only with me bc of my looks.

https://i.imgur.com/E8kz8lw.jpg

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u/Pizza1998 Apr 28 '22

Ayo you're extremely good looking

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u/Felinski Apr 28 '22

I think you'd look good without a beard too?

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u/calamitycook Apr 28 '22

To be real it can get weird under there. Acne scars, other scars, jawline looks misshapen or underdeveloped, etc

The beard has to be cared for though

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u/Lamarithan_ Apr 28 '22

Hey its the dude whos mom posed with the furries she thought were easter bunnies

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u/DaftMudkip Apr 28 '22

Yo I’m straight and you’re pretty damn attractive

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u/klrjhthertjr Apr 27 '22 Platinum

How about getting too many ingrown hairs so it looks like I have acne if I shave.

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u/Denamic Apr 27 '22

I just stopped shaving entirely and just use a trimmer instead. I'd rather have 'fashionable' stubble than ingrown hairs and then have stubble within a day anyway.

137

u/die-jarjar-die Apr 28 '22

This is the way. No more wasting money on razors

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u/amartinkyle Apr 28 '22

I used razors a few times as a teen and realized it sucked and use a trimmer ever since

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u/Razzman70 Apr 28 '22 edited Apr 28 '22

I use both. If I only use a razor (and my facial hair is anything more than a stubble) I pull a lot of my face, leading to cuts and razor burn. So I use a foil razor to trim it all down, and follow it up with a regular razor against the grain so that its actually smooth instead of bring rough.

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u/Fartimer Apr 28 '22

I do the same. Just trim it with no guard once a week. My skin is really sensitive and shaving sucks. And as a bonus I use my beard trimmer to shave my head.

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u/FlatFootedPotato Apr 28 '22

Safety and straight razors for the win. No ingrown hairs, no wasting money. Only blood and screaming when you fuck up.

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u/Jack_Dorso Apr 28 '22

I use a set of heavy duty wahl clippers. My beard is thick and those little norelco beard trimmers wouldn’t cut it. And I completely agree with you on the stubble. I will shave down once or twice a year but it’s only as short as my wahl will go.

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u/-Master-Builder- Apr 27 '22

This shaver is your friend.

I was the only guy on my military base with a no-shave chit due to how bad my face reacted to a razor. I highly recommend trying this trimmer out. I don't know why, but I've had way fewer problems since I started doing a weekly trim with an electric razor, rather than daily razor blade shaving.

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u/pain_in_the_dupa Apr 27 '22

Oh man. No-shave chits were impossible to get in boot. I had no problems, but we had a guy in our company that had never shaved before. He only had basically peach fuzz. It was traumatic for him. Never shaved before? You now have four minutes to learn two minutes after you got up from four hours sleep.

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u/-Master-Builder- Apr 27 '22

You got an uninterrupted four hours? Lucky.

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u/dream_weasel Apr 28 '22 edited Apr 28 '22

I can tell you why, having had ingrown hairs and spending a fair amount of time on r/wicked_edge. Your typical cartridge razor with multiple blades alternates sharper and duller blades. The idea is that dull blades pull the hairs up and sharp ones cut them off. This leaves a very smooth shave with fewer passes BUT your hairs are cut below your skin line. Those sharply cut hairs then grow into your skin for us unfortunate few.

I have a beard now, but before that I switched to a straight razor and never had problems again. Of course there are other single blade options, but the straight razor is cooler ;).

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u/Jahbroni Apr 28 '22

I also highly recommend checking out /r/wicked_edge and using a double-edge safety razor to eliminate ingrown hairs. Everyone's face and skin are different, but using this shaving method made a dramatic difference in my ingrowns and I'm able to shave multiple days in a row with little to no irritation.

The downside is this shaving method will add a few more minutes to your morning shave routine and it takes a bit of practice, but once you establish good technique you get a much better quality shave. Plus, a 100 pack double-edge blades costs around $10.

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u/Zanjust Apr 27 '22

I don't have that one but my I really like my electric razor.

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u/FictionaI Apr 28 '22

This is the single best razor I’ve ever used. I have very sensitive, acne prone skin and I despise using a regular razor blade. It makes my skin feel terrible for at least 4-6 hours after I shave. With the above razor, it feels like I didn’t even shave, even though I’m clean shaven.

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u/alejo699 Apr 27 '22

Oh man it's embarrassing how long it took me to realize this. I had a beard for ten years before I realized I could stop shaving my stupid ingrown neck.

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u/klrjhthertjr Apr 27 '22

I do still shave my neck but pick out ingrown hairs every week

19

u/alejo699 Apr 27 '22

I just use a trimmer on my neck now and haven't had to deal with that at all. So happy.

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u/admiraljkb Apr 27 '22

Yep, my version of "shaving" (every 6 months whether I need it or not LOL), is using the trimmers.

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u/wfaulk Apr 27 '22

Stop using the 500-blade razors. Use a razor with a single blade. Most people talk about old-school "safety razors", but there are other options, too, including cartridges and down to disposable razors, if you don't want to feel like you're giving into hipster hype.

The many-bladed razors are simply shaving too close for your hair and skin.

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u/HtownTexans Apr 27 '22

Also shave right after the shower when your pores are most open. I used to get bad razor burn then started shaving right after (instead of before) my shower and it's helped a ton. People also say shave with the hair but if you've seen my neck hair you know it knows no direction.

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u/Throwawaybibbi Apr 27 '22

Would that work on my bikini line?

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u/FredrickTheSeal Apr 27 '22

Idk if your serious but my suggestion is to use cream hair remover for most of it and then use chemical exfoliate+body oil/lotion once or twice a day. If you still have irritation wear skirts/not tight pants for 2-3 day after hair removal. It’s high maintenance but it keeps things looking perfect for me.

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u/Throwawaybibbi Apr 27 '22

Thanks!

Even wearing underwear afterwards is uncomfortable. I live at the beach so need to be nice and tidy.

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u/jostler57 Apr 27 '22

The people over at /r/wicked_edge get that question all the time. Check out that sub and search their history for answers about bikini line / downstairs stuff.

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u/Fair_Command_9861 Apr 27 '22

I have used depilatory, but the effect is not very good.

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u/FredrickTheSeal Apr 27 '22

Yea that’s the hard part about skin care- everyone’s skin likes different things! It works great for me but that doesn’t mean it’s the right method for everyone.

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u/Taurothar Apr 27 '22

I just shave during the shower. I've liked the schick hydro series of razors, and yes they are multi blades but my skin responds better to them than the basic single bladed ones and the only better shave I've ever had is from a barber with a high quality straight blade. That guy could shave a dollar store water balloon without popping it.

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u/HtownTexans Apr 27 '22

I really need to get a hot shave. I've only heard magical things.

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u/SerSkywell Apr 27 '22

If the barber is good hot shaves can be nice. Ifyou are willing to put some more effort in a good straight razor shave with the right shaving soap can be almost as good.

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u/ITAW-Techie Apr 27 '22

I got a safety razor a few months ago and just wet shave in the shower with it and my lord is it nice. I'm saving on blades too since I only have to change the blade every month or so since it's double-sided.

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u/LagBoss Apr 27 '22

The neck hair issue was the bane of my existence in the military, that and getting a 3 o'clock shadow making me shave twice a day.

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u/lapalmera Apr 27 '22

oh man, will this help with my legs??? they’re constantly so dry and itchy from shaving.

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u/wfaulk Apr 27 '22

I don't have any leg-shaving experience, but my first thought about "dry and itchy" is that it's more likely that your skin isn't happy with what the wet-shaving community calls "goo in a can". Try a different shaving cream: something made from real soap with oils in it instead of whatever that stuff is in the pressurized can.

I don't know where you are, but good shaving cream can be hard to find in stores. Even the creams that seem to pander to this market are often no better than goo. Proraso and Cremo seem to be the best ones that are at least somewhat commonly available in regular stores.

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u/Possible_Roof_8147 Apr 27 '22

This is me. I'll only shave for a special event, bc I'll be itchy and breaking out the day after. Every time. No matter the blade or cream.

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u/nouille07 Apr 27 '22

Can't recommend safety razors enough, have you tried it?

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u/Genlsis Apr 27 '22

It hides my fat face

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u/CommonCut4 Apr 27 '22 To The Stars

“It gives me a chin” should be “covers my extra chins”.

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u/zatchstar Apr 27 '22

Nah, I’m a twig and have no chin. Beard gives more definition to my face.

So it definitely needs to be a category

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u/h3lblad3 Apr 28 '22

“It gives me a chin” should be “covers my extra chins”.

My family has an extra large neck in general. It gives me a chin by hiding the spot where it should be with a variably-lengthed hair-chin.

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u/[deleted] Apr 27 '22

This is what should have been 99% of the pie.

I see maybe one fit guy with a beard for every 100 fat guys with beard.

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u/Genlsis Apr 28 '22

Fat guy, checking in.

17

u/fendour Apr 28 '22

I was told there was pie?

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u/The_Epimedic Apr 28 '22

That may be location based. Most of my friends have beards, and we're pretty much all in good shape.

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u/Krisapocus Apr 28 '22

This should be the large part of the pie as we still shave the neck and trim it. The full beard does come at the same time as the chin starts to hide

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u/Jd20001 Apr 27 '22

Not enough grey in that pie chart unfortunately

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u/[deleted] Apr 27 '22

I'm not even out of my twenties yet and I've still been plucking grey hairs out of my beard for a few years already. Stress is a helluva drug.

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u/sinkwiththeship Apr 28 '22

Don't pluck. Might turn into a habit of just plucking hairs in general. Just live the grey life. I got patches of grey in my beard at 22 and it's fine.

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u/C_IsForCookie Apr 28 '22

I started getting grays in high school. My childhood was rough bro.

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u/fillbin Apr 27 '22

Underrated comment right here.

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u/ganskidrums Apr 27 '22

You forgot, “I’ve been bald since 27 and don’t want people to wonder if I’m undergoing chemotherapy.” …or maybe that’s just me.

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u/ChoppedAlready Apr 28 '22

Got damn don’t come at me so hard

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u/TheLazyHerbalist Apr 27 '22 Wholesome

You grow a beard because you're too lazy to shave

I grow a beard because otherwise i look like a 16 yo.

We're not the same

86

u/Waffleman75 Apr 27 '22

I'm 32 and look like an infant when I'm clean shaven. Everytime I go for drinks clean shaved they card me.

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u/TheLazyHerbalist Apr 27 '22

Dude i'm 33 and i can relate. They even ask me once at the airport when traveling alone if i was over 18yo in order to get in the plane (you know because otherwise i had to be supervised by an adult lol) and checked my ID twice to be sure. I was 28 at that time, never shaved since then.

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u/mordeh Apr 27 '22

Hey you’ll appreciate that later in life! When you’re 65 you’ll look 50!

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u/HungryArea17 Apr 27 '22

Same With beard some people think I am in my middle twentys, without I look like 16

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u/PepsiStudent Apr 27 '22

I don't look like I am 16. My face just hasn't aged in the past decade. So before the goatee I look like I'm in my younger 20s instead of my younger 30s. It does make me look better for the moment since I am carrying some extra weight. As I lose it though I think the goatee is coming off. I like how I look without it.

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u/ACardAttack Apr 27 '22

I like looking young ¯_(ツ)_/¯

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u/Rocketman_1981 Apr 27 '22

I’m definitely in the majority on this one then. After 6 years in the military shaving 5 days a week I’m over that $#!t. Once a month (at best) is plenty.

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u/ketchy_shuby Apr 27 '22

One take home from the pandemic lockdown, haircuts and shaving are a waste of time.

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u/quiteCryptic Apr 27 '22

Not sure what hairstyle you have but mine would look terrible if I tried it on my own lol

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u/tannit Apr 27 '22

And money. I bought some hair clippers a couple years back. Paid for itself before the end of the first year. I'm terrible at cutting the back, but no one can see that from a Zoom meeting.

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u/CockStamp45 Apr 28 '22

Hell yeah. I bought some clippers before the pandemic but never really attempted to cut my hair out of fear of messing it up. Mostly bought it for the beard. Then my hair was driving me nuts during lock down, and I gave it a try. Lock down was the perfect time to at least get some practice in. These days I'm not so bad, however consistency is still an issue. Sometimes I get a cut that looks genuinely good, then I try to replicate it the next time and it's rarely the same.

If you happen to know someone with a 3d printer or have one yourself, you can print a neck guard (Link 1, Link 2) out of flexible TPU and it works decently well. It's not perfect but it gives you the confidence to at least shave the lower neck.

The biggest convenience factor for me almost isn't even about saving money, it's about the time saved. My preferred barber was a walk in only place and sometimes the wait was 1+ hours, not including the time for your cut. I hate not supporting my local barber too though... I usually go once in a while for holidays or weddings just to catch up. Luckily he has a lot of other business so it's not crippling.

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u/meltheold Apr 27 '22

Had a moustache since I was 18, grew the full beard about a year ago mainly because spinal stenosis + psoriatic arthritis + parkinsons made my hands too difficult to manage a razor. Wife really likes it, and I have that 'retired professor' sort of look when it's neatly trimmed (and only takes 2-3 minutes every 2-3 days). My dogs love rubbing their faces in it, probably because of the beard products my wife xmas'ed me.

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u/[deleted] Apr 27 '22

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u/CousinBug Apr 27 '22

I let mine grow until it itches, then it's bye-bye until the next time.

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u/Moonwatcher23 Apr 27 '22

It only has a brief period of itching, usually a few days to a week, then the itching stops.

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u/Splintrr Apr 27 '22

Mine itched for 5 months before I shaved it off, even trying proper shampoo and conditioners did nothing

didn't know it was only supposed to last days

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u/Rocketman_1981 Apr 27 '22

lol, that’s my Litmus test as well

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u/mk36109 Apr 27 '22

If can persevere through the itching phase it eventually stops and then you never have to deal with the hassle of shaving or itching ever again

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u/jscott18597 Apr 27 '22

8 years in, and it's been 6 years since I've been out. I shaved once for a job interview (which I got) saw plenty of unshaven faces, and haven't shaved since. I don't plan on blades touching my face for the rest of my life.

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u/sipes216 Apr 27 '22

I shave when im around my tiny neice so that i can spook her thst im a different person. I nkrmally let it grow out. Haha

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u/RedAreMe Apr 27 '22

You can swear on the internet

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u/DeBean Apr 27 '22

Where's the "I have inherited Egyptian cat genes and cannot grow one"

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u/tcbme Apr 28 '22 edited Apr 28 '22

Lol my bf is so hairless I'm jealous. Not fair that I have to shave so much of my body and he doesn't, but I got the hairy genes. *Edit to add: I almost have more beard hairs than him. He can only grow a goatee 🤣😭

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u/tornadotaint Apr 28 '22

Tfw your genes didn't make up their mind so you get hairs, but you get long sporadic hairs instead of none or consistent growth.

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u/Sovex Apr 27 '22

Weak chin gang where you at

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u/Zappiticas Apr 27 '22

Here here!

No chin, high cheekbones, large cheeks. I look like a god damn squirrel.

At least with a beard I can shape my lower face to look normal

12

u/0cora86 Apr 27 '22

I have a chin. In fact, I have two. This is why I beard.

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u/jyhzer Apr 28 '22

I always thought I had a big nose growing up but it wasn't until I grew a beard that I realized my weak jawline threw off my facial proportions.

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u/[deleted] Apr 27 '22 edited Apr 27 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Pandatotheface Apr 27 '22

People: You look better without a beard!

Who's people? I started growing it over lockdown and I've had lots of people (especially girls) tell me they like me with a beard, I've not had a single person tell me I looked better with my stubble/clean face.

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u/jayeer Apr 27 '22

My grandma says I look better clean shaven

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u/[deleted] Apr 27 '22

My grandmother grew up believing that having a beard was socially unacceptable. It was not "etiquette," she'd say.

Until she died, she hounded me about my beard. One day I said to her, "You don't have real eyebrows." And she never said a word again. She died a few months later.

She was part of that generation of women who would keep their eyebrows completely plucked and they'd draw them on there.

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u/ej4 Apr 27 '22

So you killed your grandma is what you’re saying…

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u/lobsterbash Apr 27 '22

Grandmas would say that.

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u/HussyDude14 Apr 27 '22

Thank goodness for Grandmas. :')

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u/Lithl Apr 27 '22

My mother bitched at me about my beard regularly, until at a family reunion one of my aunts said she liked it.

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u/Gr8fulFox Apr 27 '22

My mother told me it was disrespectful towards her for me to have a beard. Sure, I was a teen, but my face, my choice.

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u/klparrot Apr 28 '22

A teen beard was disrespectful to yourself.

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u/adrenalinjunkie89 Apr 27 '22

Some people have nice looking faces and covering them with hair is not an improvement.

I "shave" (use hair clippers). about once a month, head and face all at once because I'm too lazy to do it more often, but I definitely look better after I shave. And at least 5 years younger.

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u/Wajina_Sloth Apr 27 '22

I personally think I look good without a beard.

But with COVID I gave a shot at growing it past the ugly phase, now instead of people just commenting on my height all the time, some will now comment on the beard. I have evolved.

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u/nahunk Apr 27 '22

It keeps food.

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u/istrebitjel Apr 28 '22

A little bit like the towel in the Hitchhiker's Guide :)

Another pro for me, it's a fidget toy.

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u/hendrix899 Apr 27 '22

Well, you still need to shave/trim it a bit. Otherwise you look like a bum.

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u/SeskaWildman Apr 27 '22

When my husband has a beard he’s trimming almost daily, and he puts beard oil and is brushing it and generally not reducing his facial hair work load.

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u/TomAto314 Apr 27 '22

Every week I trim it down to stubble. Seems to work well.

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u/Lithl Apr 27 '22

I mostly trim my beard when my mustache starts interfering with eating.

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u/a-m-watercolor Apr 27 '22

I grew an incredible mustache a few years ago. But that thing was so much work. Shaving it was a huge relief.

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u/Karcinogene Apr 27 '22

The mustache is the worst part of the beard! The Amish know what they're doing lol.

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u/dangerousthrill Apr 27 '22

Yep, maintaining a good beard can easily be more work than just shaving.

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u/EmperorPenguinNJ Apr 27 '22

Yes. Unless you’re going full grizzly adams, you’ll at least need to trim it periodically. For me that’s at least once a week. Also, because I hate the feel of facial hair around my neck, I shave the bottom inch or two of my beard.

So yes, it involves work.

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u/ProudBoomer Apr 27 '22

Clippers are a whole lot easier and quicker than shaving.

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u/Hot_Potato_001 Apr 27 '22

It detracts from my balding.

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u/PatButchersBongWater Apr 27 '22

This is the one I was looking for.

There’s no hair on my head, so it’s on my face instead.

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u/KaosAkroma Apr 27 '22

Don’t forget the option “hides my second chin”

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u/gray1862 Apr 27 '22

I feel like my beard was more work. Trimming it all the time, having to brush it out, and washing it got to be too much. I went down to a goatee and haven’t regretted it.

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u/acewavelink Apr 27 '22

You forgot “Im fat, and this makes me look less fat by covering the double chin”

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u/CharlieTheChoo_Choo Apr 27 '22

I have northern European and native American DNA.

I do not grow body hair.

My wife being of Irish and Scottish descent, would be a tundra wookie if she didn't shave everything.

Me? It'll take a month just to get fuzz.

I didn't get chest hair until I was 27.

Not like my facial hair grows in evenly.

If I were to just let my hair grow for a year straight I'd literally look like Joe Dirt.

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u/[deleted] Apr 27 '22

I'm Eastern European. I had a full beard, chest hair, back hair and butt hair by the time I was 14. My school required me to keep my face shaved or face suspension.

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u/xSTSxZerglingOne Apr 27 '22

My school required me to keep my face shaved or face suspension.

So how do they only suspend your face in that particular instance?

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u/Newbie__AF Apr 28 '22

Compulsory niqab

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u/CIearIyChaos Apr 27 '22

I’m of danish decent and I had a moustache and a fuckin forest growing in my ass by the time I was 13

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u/ShogunCowboy Apr 27 '22

i’m half native american, half scottish.

of my 6 siblings, i am the only one that grows facial hair. my brother is 30 and looks 17, yet i popped out the womb looking like a wolf cub.

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u/oilerella Apr 27 '22

lmao solidarity to your wife, from a fellow tundra wookie with her very own joe dirt

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u/BroDudeBruhMan Apr 27 '22

(I honestly don’t have the 5ish minutes to shave in the morning, so I just won’t.

What about on the weekends though?

Nah I don’t want to waste the free time on my weekend to shave.)

Repeat that weekly process for months and boom that’s how I got my beard

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u/nincomturd Apr 27 '22

If it only took five minutes for me to shave, I'd shave way more often.

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u/YonderMTN Apr 27 '22

I’m going to go 25% less work, 25% chin, and 50% the lady enjoys it.

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u/robotfarmer71 Apr 27 '22

How about that when they started locking up the blades in cabinets in stores because the cost (ie profit margin) on them became so ridiculous guys like me said “Well, a beard sounds like a good way to save a couple bucks.”

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u/nethobo Apr 27 '22

I feel attacked. Fortunately my soft and luscious facial hair will protect me with its glory.

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u/Notafuzzycat Apr 27 '22

Makes me look older so I keep it.

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u/KevlahR Apr 27 '22

Makes me look old so I shave it

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u/morfyyy Apr 27 '22

Two worlds colliding

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u/AskIfImHC Apr 27 '22

Same! 27, and if I didn’t have a beard I’d look 21

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u/waystinthyme Apr 27 '22

I think maintaining my beard is more work than a quick shave every day.

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u/EldridgeHorror Apr 27 '22

20% chin

80% work

And 100% reason to remember the mane.

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u/Darahian Apr 27 '22

I bought a beard trimmer sooo... I cut it whenever i want. But now i don't want to do so.

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u/mc_squared_03 Apr 27 '22

That's how I got my "porno 'stache".

I was halfway through shaving and was too lazy to finish. Now me and my nose neighbor are inseparable.

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u/mitchsn Apr 27 '22

Wearing a mask for 2 years thanks to the Pandemic allowed me to finally figure out i CAN grow a beard!

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u/getyourcheftogether Apr 27 '22

But maintaining a decent beard is more work than it is to shave it off

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u/Imapony Apr 27 '22

Going to a barber for a beard trim makes me feel fancy

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u/corgarian Apr 28 '22

This is also my reasoning for rarely shaving my body hair.

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u/IHv2RtrnSumVdeotapes Apr 28 '22

I'd say 90% of the guys i know who have a beard is because they have no chin and it makes them look better.

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u/zJeldie Apr 27 '22

Reason #6 - My now wife said I look like a 13 y/o without it and told me I couldn't shave anymore. I've not been clean shaven in coming up on a decade.

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u/Sinicalkush Apr 27 '22

You didn't add depression. Thats how mine got started.

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u/Marduk-worldbreaker Apr 27 '22

Just try my approach: don't grow facial hair.

I have tk shave once every 3 months because by then the patchy mess is half an inch long

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u/gaynorg Apr 27 '22

I am bald, and I don't want to be hairless. That is my reason.

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u/TakerFoxx Apr 27 '22

I'm prematurely balding and wanted to just shave it all off, but I'm white and didn't want to look like a skinhead.

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u/Bradderz_SG Apr 27 '22

My facial hair doesn’t grow long enough and is patchy, I don’t fee manly enough :(

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u/IIFireMissionII Apr 27 '22

The price for good razors is criminal.

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u/Halonos Apr 27 '22

I haven’t had a true clean shave in probably 20 years. Clippers with a #1 attachment is shortest i’ll go. it seems weird that scraping our hair off with a razer (men and women) became the norm.

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