r/funny SrGrafo May 18 '22 Silver 11 Helpful 6 Wholesome 6

The scientific term is "Palm Reading" Verified

Post image
56.1k Upvotes

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875

u/Plotlo1019 May 18 '22

Do we pepperonis even have any lines on our hands to read?

883

u/SrGrafo SrGrafo May 18 '22

436

u/Plotlo1019 May 18 '22

What conditions cause the nipples to show themselves?

747

u/SrGrafo SrGrafo May 18 '22

409

u/The1RGood May 18 '22

So wait, are you and all the pepperonis just always nude?

592

u/SrGrafo SrGrafo May 18 '22

225

u/The1RGood May 18 '22

I have eaten the forbidden fruit and now know things that I cannot un-know

35

u/Siere May 19 '22

An unfortunate turn of events

82

u/Steved_hams May 18 '22

I stared at that way too long waiting for the nipples to appear

28

u/PKMNTrainerMark May 19 '22

You're not horny enough.

17

u/Juliendogg May 19 '22

Can confirm. I did see nipples.

16

u/desiladygamer84 May 18 '22

I'm impatient so I clicked away. Thanks for letting me know it never happens.

5

u/Steved_hams May 18 '22

Just doin my nipply duty

7

u/Danger_Dave_ May 18 '22

There aren't nipples in this one. Did I stop being horny?

5

u/Zeoinx May 19 '22

If you are all pepperonis, this explains why my frozen pizza is short on ingredients all the time.

2

u/spinn80 May 19 '22

Waited 5 minutes… no nipples. Feeling kinda rejected…

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33

u/Abtun May 18 '22

Crouching pepperoni, hidden nipple

4

u/Joker511 May 18 '22

How come I don't see them all the time then?

9

u/FauxReal May 18 '22

Ask your doctor if Cialis is right for you.

3

u/wlwlvr May 18 '22

Then why can't I see them all the time?

2

u/Mazon_Del May 18 '22

Your nipples were formerly square, and now they are circles. You might have a condition Grafo.

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3

u/officesofjarod May 18 '22

why does it hurt when i pee?

2

u/blank_isainmdom May 19 '22

Perhaps you got it from a toilet seat?

https://youtu.be/ZmbxinvLONE

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3

u/istasber May 18 '22

My nipples are also located right below my clavicle.

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2

u/edlee98765 May 18 '22

I want lines on my hands to snort.

-5

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/sycor May 19 '22

Pretty bold to steal someone's comment and post it to the same thread. Didn't even bother to fix the typo. I'm sure u/EmptyHill doesn't mind though.

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556

u/The1RGood May 18 '22

It says you're gonna give me another $50

874

u/SrGrafo SrGrafo May 18 '22

410

u/Mopman43 May 18 '22

Where do you keep that on you?

975

u/SrGrafo SrGrafo May 18 '22 Wholesome

148

u/Vandella59 May 18 '22

I imagine it’s similar to how Anime girls can just pull things from their cleavage.

59

u/mastahkun May 18 '22

You dont have an Aunty that pulls random stuff out her bosom?

19

u/Good_Tension_9416 May 18 '22

Robots (2005)

16

u/dat1dood2 May 18 '22

Fr tho. When everyone was younger and my family used Wiis often, my aunt pulled a wiimote out of her bra

109

u/Mopman43 May 18 '22

I got an Edit… that’s it, I’ve peaked.

4

u/Lemonsnot May 18 '22

This is my favorite

4

u/theBrineySeaMan May 19 '22

SrGrafo learning how to make gifs has broken all the world.

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10

u/Crafty-Crafter May 18 '22

Sorry, I don't use plebeians cards. Do you take American Express?

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419

u/Mariosidavid May 18 '22

See this teeny-tiny line right here? That's the line that shows your pp size :)

703

u/SrGrafo SrGrafo May 18 '22

77

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

22

u/Darg727 May 19 '22

Sorry to say this, but hands have different sizes.

21

u/razivatiproblepo May 18 '22

Underrated edit. Period.

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398

u/tezoatlipoca May 18 '22

It says you can raid my fridge

Hey wait a minu-

408

u/SrGrafo SrGrafo May 18 '22

EDIT

Anyone that saw Chloevely knows why.

34

u/No_Stretch3807 May 18 '22

What about the microwave

4

u/Acysbib May 18 '22

Happy cake day!

And the Nuker? Totally usable.

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6

u/Sirduckerton May 19 '22

"because the penguin people for sure know theirs."

😂

3

u/Veloxization May 18 '22

Can I store the boiled water in the fridge in case I want to use it later?

3

u/Human_no_4815162342 May 19 '22

Penguin people is now my favourite way of addressing Linux users

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13

u/kazog May 18 '22

Dont believe his lies.

7

u/tezoatlipoca May 18 '22

What do you think is IN his fridge? I bet it is the bodies of redditors whom he draws in his EDITs.

4

u/kazog May 18 '22

You are asking too many questions, friend. Id lay low for a bit, unless you want to attract his attention. Some questions are better left unanswered.

506

u/coolbop32 May 18 '22

We have been trying to reach you about your cars extended warranty

687

u/SrGrafo SrGrafo May 18 '22

186

u/SacredSpirit1337 May 18 '22

Wait, you have a nose?

80

u/FauxReal May 18 '22

The coke has gotta go somewhere!

9

u/ddh85 May 19 '22

Whenever there's fun, there's always Coca-Cola~ 🎵🎶

81

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

[deleted]

4

u/Lonelan May 18 '22

WHAT DID THE FIVE FINGERS SAY TO THE FACE?!

We've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty...

4

u/DavThoma May 19 '22

This is the single most disturbing Grafo edit I have seen, and we all remember the duck.

10

u/KingCreeper7777 May 18 '22

why did i think he was gonna eat the hand

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1.1k

u/SrGrafo SrGrafo May 18 '22 Helpful

342

u/spellbreaker May 18 '22

That's such an Ares thing to say.

202

u/SacredSpirit1337 May 18 '22 edited May 19 '22

*Aries

We’re talking the Ram, not the Greek God of War

180

u/spellbreaker May 18 '22

Oh. I was talking about the greek god thing.

13

u/SacredSpirit1337 May 18 '22 edited May 18 '22 Silver Take My Energy

I…what? Sagittarius) is a constellation, and another astrological sign. Sagittarius represents Chiron, the Centaur, who wasn’t a Greek God. Aries) is the astrological sign, and it’s believed to stem from Chrysomallus, the flying ram that was slaughtered to produce the Golden Fleece.

Suddenly shifting into Greek Gods when the joke was astrological signs doesn’t make sense.

125

u/Stealocke May 18 '22

I suspect he knows this and was just being silly

47

u/SacredSpirit1337 May 18 '22

How though? Sorry if I sound obtuse, but I’m on the Autism spectrum, and, if they’re being sarcastic, I can’t wrap my head around it.

93

u/Stealocke May 18 '22 Silver

It just seemed like he was doubling down after being corrected just to be a bit silly. Like, he didn’t know it was misspelled at the time, but decided to just go for the misleads for shits and giggles.

Granted, I am completely speculating on a stranger’s mindset and meaning based on the “tone” of the message, which is impossible even without autism, so who knows.

102

u/spellbreaker May 18 '22 Take My Energy

Yeah you have it right.

/u/SacredSpirit1337, sorry I wasn't more clear. Thanks for the correction, I was genuinely incorrect in my original wording and didn't know at the time ("Ares" was a misspelling of "Aries").

After that, I was being silly. Dumb. That kind of thing.

93

u/Sandalman3000 May 18 '22

Typical Zeus behavior.

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55

u/miuxiu May 18 '22 edited May 19 '22 Wholesome (Pro)

Man I wish I could award all three of you. What a great little exchange ya’ll had. Silly jokes, a misunderstanding, some educating with some fun facts that are related to the misunderstanding, addressing having autism, someone tries to help explain, and then an apology. All without anyone getting mad or name calling or anything. You guys are awesome, wish everyone could interact like this online! Have a great day guys :)

/u/SacredSpirit1337

/u/spellbreaker

/u/Stealocke

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9

u/PassionateAvocado May 18 '22

I call these "Archer jokes" after the TV show. The main character will purposefully say things that are wrong, but they're wrong in a really smart way. So it's like two jokes in one

3

u/SacredSpirit1337 May 19 '22

Huh. I’ve seen Archer, but I might need a refresher.

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4

u/miuxiu May 19 '22

Guys stop downvoting /u/SacredSpirit1337 for no reason :( it was just a small misunderstanding that has been resolved and everyone was so nice about it- and this comment is really informative too!! At least read the rest of the exchange below to see context before voting at all.

2

u/Peter_Hasenpfeffer May 18 '22

Hol up, Chrysomallus rescues Phrixus, and gets sacrificed to Zeus for it? No good deed goes unpunished I guess.

3

u/SacredSpirit1337 May 19 '22

Sometimes Greek Mythology do be like that. In some versions Chrysomallus was the sheep that nursed the infant Zeus, and he slaughtered it for the Golden Fleece himself.

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11

u/Plotlo1019 May 18 '22

But you're a Virgo, not a Sagittarius!!

10

u/whits_ism May 18 '22

Don't let this person define what you are/are not Grafo!

3

u/One_for_each_of_you May 19 '22

Negative. I am a meat popsicle.

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26

u/hugh910f May 18 '22

Pseudoscience is just science that you don’t have to pretend to understand.

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7

u/WowThatsRelevant May 18 '22

Sagittariuses? Sagittarii?

3

u/Yeshua_shel_Natzrat May 18 '22

Sagittarii would be the correct one

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3

u/cyniclawl May 18 '22

Lol idk why but you seem like such an aquarium in this edit

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67

u/EmptyHill May 18 '22

I had one of those psychic woman that set up booths at state fairs once tell me that the woman I would marry would really like Dr. Pepper. That was all she told me and she was dead serious. That still fucks with me to this day when I look at my wife questioning her dedication to The Pep.

25

u/Slobbin May 19 '22

Genius. That's actually genius.

Something so specific that if she was wrong, and you told people about how wrong she was, other people might be interested in finding out what kind of bizarre stuff she would say about them.

And if she's randomly right, it's gonna stick with you for forever.

5

u/One_for_each_of_you May 19 '22

Is she obvious about it, or is she keeping her love of the good doctor a secret from you?

12

u/gestalto May 19 '22

The fact it's still even in your mind is why I detest these types of con artists. I am assuming by your wording you're a rational person, but the psychological damage these types of people can do to people with issues, and the fact they prey on people who are clearly fools or psychologically vulnerable in some way or another, and are allowed to so long as they say in small print it's "entertainment", disgusts me.

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302

u/amhnnfantasy May 18 '22 Wholesome

/u/SrGrafo sooo this is technically a hand job right?

472

u/SrGrafo SrGrafo May 18 '22

90

u/Zaq1996 May 18 '22

How much?

80

u/tokke May 18 '22

I guess 50bucks

63

u/Klin24 May 18 '22

Mastercard is fine.

5

u/ddh85 May 19 '22

I only got American Express.

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11

u/Expensive-Anxiety-63 May 18 '22

Gonna need about tree fiddy.

6

u/Beehiveluffy May 18 '22

I gave em a dolla

21

u/lurkerdaIV May 18 '22

uhhh is the leaf guy below you? What's he doing down there???

5

u/PathologicalLoiterer May 19 '22

No, I think that's /u/amhnnfantasy holding a fat stack so they can get one of them handy js.

4

u/turncoatmormon May 18 '22

Did anyone else stare at this edit for a while thinking it might be a sneaky GIF with an animation of /u/SrGrafo’s arm moving in a handjob-like fashion?

4

u/Yveske May 18 '22

More or less?

3

u/elyas_machera May 18 '22

Well wash your hands and make me a sandwich.

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126

u/Away_Industry_6892 May 18 '22

You, please. I can read them. Your fingers, please, your fingers.

29

u/j33205 May 18 '22

TARNISHED...YOUR FINGERS

12

u/yuhanz May 19 '22

Oh, bless you!

Oh..ohhhh!

6

u/BeautifulBus912 May 19 '22

Try fingers, but hole.

3

u/FaolanBaelfire May 19 '22

NOW GO FORTH

31

u/ammonite89 May 18 '22

Why.. why does he have a leaf on his head?

27

u/NettleFarseer May 18 '22

It's a palm leaf...

9

u/illumiin May 18 '22

why not?

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222

u/WhiteRed14 May 18 '22

Oh boi I've finally managed to be on a SrGrafo post minutes from posting instead of hours

293

u/SrGrafo SrGrafo May 18 '22

167

u/WhiteRed14 May 18 '22

And here I thought leaving early from work would just get me a lazy boring evening. Thanks for the edit u/SrGrafo and have a good day m8

348

u/SrGrafo SrGrafo May 18 '22

139

u/Lopoi May 18 '22

Wait? you can buy edits? Is this some sort of crowdfund operation?

249

u/SrGrafo SrGrafo May 18 '22

EDIT if you know the right guy, yeah

30

u/Pushmonk May 18 '22

That guy doesn't look very legit to me...

31

u/thatguytony May 18 '22

I am very legit.

11

u/Pushmonk May 18 '22

Well, I'll be.

5

u/Markocius May 18 '22

Not much, but Honest work!

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4

u/UrdnotChivay May 18 '22

That didn't look like a hand...

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275

u/illumiin May 18 '22 edited May 18 '22

wait... if we are stupid as fuck to believe that hand reading is real, wouldn't that mean "being stupid as fuck for believing hand reading is real" is false because it was read on a hand?

435

u/SrGrafo SrGrafo May 18 '22

106

u/illumiin May 18 '22

Damn, everyone has one of those. Should I carry one too?

46

u/heff17 May 18 '22

You don’t already? Dude, it’s 2022.

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15

u/NibblyPig May 18 '22

Oh my god this is the funniest thing I've seen

24

u/Gacsam May 18 '22

That's one long arm

14

u/BradleyUffner May 18 '22

That's not his arm.

4

u/FauxReal May 18 '22

It's the law.

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14

u/florinandrei May 18 '22

4

u/Alonewarrior May 18 '22

Ironically, Epimenides paradox isn't a paradox, according to the explanation on that wiki page. Cool to think about, though!

7

u/florinandrei May 19 '22

It's the first known example of a self-referential statement in this class.

Self-referentiality is a good way to create problematic statements, some of which are paradoxical.

5

u/FauxReal May 18 '22

Not if he is making up the idea that it says anything at all.

2

u/billyp673 May 18 '22

No, that would be “poisoning the well”… even a broken clock is correct 2 times a day

2

u/illumiin May 18 '22

I have no clue what you just said

3

u/FerricDonkey May 19 '22

You can get the right answer from something that makes no sense, just by luck. Like if you decide to compute 64/16 by crossing out the 6s and saying it's 4/1 which is 4.

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2

u/paul-arized May 18 '22

People fall for "Give Trump 50 dollars to stop socialism" everyday.

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91

u/DeJMan May 18 '22

25

u/pass-the-word May 18 '22

Maybe you deserved it for killing that leaf

2

u/CaptainCintel May 19 '22

Your future is a literal one liner.

16

u/Caddy_8760 May 18 '22

Im still waiting, what else does it say?

15

u/tezoatlipoca May 18 '22

Your hand says you owe me fifty dollars.

5

u/Caddy_8760 May 18 '22

Im broke, you owe me 50 dollars

5

u/tezoatlipoca May 18 '22

Oh, ok, here you g- HEY, wait a minute!

6

u/Caddy_8760 May 18 '22

What?

4

u/tezoatlipoca May 18 '22

youpulledaflipperoo magoo..

10

u/GTX2GvO May 18 '22 edited May 18 '22

I'd rather go with palm leaf reading.

You know on a nice beach with some palm trees.

6

u/pe1uca May 18 '22

Can feet be read?
What about wrinkles in your face?

If teeth could be read, would they be able to tell if someone had braces? Would them my future be locked away for me to know?

5

u/WatWudScoobyDoo May 18 '22

Read my wrinkly old ball sack. It says the past has been rough, the future's probably going to be rougher, but nuts to it all anyways. Swing Low, Sweet Chariot.

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3

u/sentientlob0029 May 18 '22

The scientific term? So this thing is a science?

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4

u/Mopman43 May 18 '22

“It says you need to give me 50 bucks or something bad will happen”.

4

u/_silent_bee_ May 18 '22

or ''pay me 50 bucks so i can tell you''

3

u/tezoatlipoca May 18 '22

Thats a nice fifty dollars you have there. It would be... a real shame if .. uh.. something were to happen... to it. We could... protect that fifty dollars for you... for I dunno... fifty dollars?

3

u/HolidayBumblebee1389 May 18 '22

It also says that you have to give me your credit card information, your address and your Reddit password

4

u/ken_NT May 18 '22

It says that if your hand is bigger than your face, you have cancer

3

u/ghotiaroma May 18 '22

Everyone has cancer.

5

u/Stringy63 May 18 '22

It says Mexico will pay for the wall

2

u/dallin06 May 18 '22

Mine hand just says to go and get “real friends” Like apparently Chloe isn’t real or something

2

u/harrybeards May 18 '22

That dude looks like a Korok, which is fitting, because that is the exact response I’d expect from a Korok lol

1

u/My_Name_Is_SKELETOR May 18 '22

So those old creepy finger reading hags in Elden Ring have been lying to me this whole time??

1

u/Thym3Travlr May 18 '22

“Overwatch 2 is a lie”

1

u/LeaCourtney May 18 '22

And the religious term is "Psalm reading"

1

u/Jfowler10225 May 18 '22

Impossible my hands never lie

1

u/Yoshi2Dark May 18 '22

I don’t know man, my hand says some wild shit

1

u/GeekyMeerkat May 18 '22

"It also says you seek validation in all the wrong places. You are a good person. Also, I'll need more money for that second reading."

1

u/MutsumidoesReddit May 18 '22

I want to believe, my life lines long and I’ve been told I’ll inherit a fortune!

1

u/MichaelNearaday May 18 '22

But can you read feet?

1

u/SimonsPure May 18 '22

"I see...I see....You seem to have a lot of children on your hands..." 👀

1

u/Daspker780 May 18 '22

What if we don’t have hands?

1

u/ThatHatedSummoner May 18 '22

Nice. Early for a legend. Have a Bratwurst from Germany

1

u/lemuever17 May 18 '22

What else can you read from that palm tree?

1

u/mikeybails May 18 '22

Did you check the other side?

1

u/nightsaysni May 18 '22

Does it have my lucky numbers?

1

u/bdonvr May 18 '22

If anyone wants a good laugh listen to Weird Al's Your Horoscope for Today

1

u/MadMonkeyNZ May 18 '22

Is says left for dead 3 is...

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1

u/MokyGP May 18 '22

It's an obvious scam. He's not an old witch with a crystal ball.

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1

u/monkeymanx55 May 18 '22

Love it. Tell me about my past lives.

1

u/ladyoffate13 May 18 '22

I can read the lines on your face. You need to get more sleep.

1

u/whydoieventrythis May 18 '22

Well, dont leave us hanging. What else did it say?

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1

u/WowThatsRelevant May 18 '22

My friend used to say hand reading tells someone's past, not future

1

u/All4ye May 18 '22

talk to the hand

1

u/depurplecow May 18 '22

You, please, I can read them. Your fingers, please, your fingers...

1

u/Constantannihilation May 18 '22

Took one look and said it would come in handy. How did they know!?

1

u/spacemonkey3000 May 18 '22

Did you know if your hand is bigger than your face you have AIDs?

1

u/LeCholax May 18 '22

So... what did you answer him?

1

u/MonkeysOnMyBottom May 18 '22

Palm reading? What the hell do trees know!?

1

u/LinusNoTips May 18 '22

Why does it go right to left