r/funny MyGumsAreBleeding May 23 '22 Silver 2 Helpful 1 Wholesome 2 All-Seeing Upvote 1

Not what I expected Verified

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51.4k Upvotes

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662

u/fh3131 May 23 '22

V is for Vodka

305

u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding May 23 '22

V is an upside down “A” for alcoholism, which makes sense if your drunk

68

u/DigNitty May 23 '22

Remember remember the fifth of tequila

The gunpowder gin drinks and pot

10

u/-Pelvis- May 23 '22

Interesting, I use the metric system so I've never known what a "fifth" of booze was. Just found out 1 Litre = 0.219 Gallons, so a fifth of a gallon is about a litre. :)

16

u/goj1ra May 23 '22

A quart, or quarter of a gallon (946 ml), is about a liter. A fifth of a gallon is 757 ml, which is close to the standard liquor bottle size of 750 ml.

6

u/-Pelvis- May 23 '22 edited May 23 '22

Oh what the heck, I didn't realise the conversion site I was on was showing me UK gallons. Yeah 750mL is the standard size here in Canada, but 1L is also used.

2

u/Hinermad May 23 '22

For most of my misspent youth spirits came in 750 ml bottles, which we called a fifth. But the customs laws in the U.S. (and I think Canada too) allow travelers to bring 1 liter of spirits back into the country without paying import duty, so I've been seeing 1 liter bottles of spirits more frequently in stores over the past few years.

29

u/fh3131 May 23 '22

✌️

4

u/UkrUkrUkr May 23 '22

They use an upside down A literal as a sign of "all" in mathematics. Don't know how it is called in English. So even more sense!

2

u/imposteratlarge111 May 23 '22

Just a symbol that means "for every"

1

u/BrewtusMaximus1 May 23 '22

The symbol is a “turned A” and it denotes “universal quantification” in logic.

8

u/Cosmic-Vegeta May 23 '22

its also for ASS

21

u/ashamedprotein May 23 '22

As someone with a toddler who loves Sesame Street (and Cookie Monster in particular), I can’t help but read this comment to the tune of the song “C is for Cookie”

13

u/NikPorto May 23 '22

And VV is for Whiskey

6

u/What_U_KNO May 23 '22

That's UU

2

u/Nachodam May 23 '22

In Spanish then

1

u/What_U_KNO May 23 '22

UU or Double U.

2

u/Nachodam May 23 '22

It depends on the country actually, in some it's called Doble U, in some others it's Doble V

13

u/jordantask May 23 '22 edited May 23 '22

“Remember remember the 5th of November….”

“The gunpowder treason?”

“No. My birthday bash We’re gonna get WASTED!!!!!”

197

u/WantToBeBetterAtSex May 23 '22

The first step is to admit that we are Anonymous and we are legion.

59

u/Admetus May 23 '22

We are Liquor.

25

u/OgOnetee May 23 '22

Frig off, Lahey.

6

u/Heaviest May 23 '22

Everywhere you look, Randy, shitapillars

16

u/realfe May 23 '22

🎶Dun da dun da da da dun

22

u/am_trying_to_be_nice May 23 '22

We are anomalous

We are lagoon

We forget, we forgive

Expect us?

7

u/alterom May 23 '22

Excuse us?

FTFY

0

u/69rubberducks May 23 '22

Actually those are 3rd and 4th rules the first two rules say: 1. Do not talk about /b/, 2. Do NOT talk about /b/

6

u/peoplerproblems May 23 '22

dude

rules of the internet != anonymous

796

u/008Zulu May 23 '22

Remember to take off the mask before you puke this time.

259

u/Fafnir13 May 23 '22

Blasts vomit from the eyeholes

75

u/Mining_elite222 May 23 '22

6

u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding May 23 '22

Lmaooo

-21

u/Extra-Extra May 23 '22 Wholesome

You’renothim.gif

101

u/Axoren May 23 '22

Worst superhero.

21

u/Brutal_Hustler May 23 '22

Ah, I needed that laugh

3

u/goj1ra May 23 '22

Dun-un-un-un-un-un-un-na Projectileeyevomitman!

8

u/Vabla May 23 '22

Made me lose it in a meeting. Barely managed to get my camera off.

3

u/m48a5_patton May 23 '22

Get up out of here with my eyeholes!

219

u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding May 23 '22

Awh man this was my good mask

6

u/jonitfcfan May 23 '22

With a flair like yours, you must go through a lot of masks

38

u/Skaryon May 23 '22

I once watched a dude wearing one of those horse masks that enclose your full head puke at a festival. Shot out of the nostrils. Fun times.

9

u/MKflipflops May 23 '22

As someone who has thrown up in a mask, though not this type or for this reason, I second this wholeheartedly.

89

u/strangebru May 23 '22

I would never be an alcoholic, there's too many meetings. I'll just remain a drunk.

7

u/UnclePuma May 23 '22

Hear hear!

42

u/WellThatsJustLikeYou May 23 '22

11

u/RegretsZ May 23 '22

Rip Trevor

10

u/Meissner23 May 23 '22

came here lookin for this

1

u/ProfaneTank May 23 '22

One of their most underrated bits imo.

117

u/dqflynn May 23 '22

tbh watching drunk people has probably been one of my strongest forces against becoming an alcoholic

112

u/effa94 May 23 '22

the trick of being an alcoholic is doing it home alone

9

u/phaemoor May 23 '22

"I don't drink in front of people."

26

u/d3ds3c_0ff1c147 May 23 '22

I thought I was so funny and witty when I was drinking. Since I've been sober, it's really hard to be around drunk people because I see myself, and I cringe.

8

u/PoorlyLitKiwi2 May 23 '22

Nothing worse than waking up the next morning and thinking: "Fuck, I can't believe I actually said that..." lol

15

u/[deleted] May 23 '22

[deleted]

6

u/toesonthenose May 23 '22

congrats for real. coming up on three myself and your comment about seeing yourself and cringing is so spot on

2

u/Bleezington May 23 '22

Care to share the details of your night, the part you remember?

7

u/[deleted] May 23 '22

[deleted]

2

u/Bleezington May 23 '22

Thank you for sharing. I'm glad you're getting some help.

25

u/pdxcranberry May 23 '22

On demand reality television is 24/7 sobriety affirmation for me. If I'm feeling like alcohol might be a solution, I just throw on some Below Deck and let the wasted yatchies make my mistakes for me.

7

u/[deleted] May 23 '22

[deleted]

3

u/dqflynn May 23 '22

i just mean i drink very rarely as a result

8

u/oimerde May 23 '22

My uncle was an alcoholic, in fact all the males including the dad where all alcoholics. One of the older brothers died by drinking some type of chemical substance thinking it was alcohol. Looking at my uncle drunk everyday since I was a kid was a very sad, but also kinda funny. He was always falling and saying funny things. Eventually obviously he died because of alcohol. Between his kids he had 6 kids and the rest cousins and neighbors we growth up and avoid alcohol as much as possible. Seeing someone constantly drinking and eventually dying of alcohol does really affect your childhood. We learned a big lesson and that was to never let alcohol take control of your life.

31

u/beansahol May 23 '22

Bare in mind you're mostly not seeing alcoholics, you're seeing binge drinkers.

The real alcoholics are the people sitting at home drinking 1/2 a litre of whisky every night just so they can keep feeling calm and not like total shit. And if they tried to go cold turkey it could kill them.

17

u/potentpotables May 23 '22

it can be both. binge drinkers can be alcoholics- especially if they normally don't plan on getting hammered, but can't help it if they start out with a couple and just can't stop before they get totally wasted.

-3

u/dackinthebox May 23 '22

That’s more lack of impulse control than alcoholism

8

u/my_special_purpose May 23 '22

Lol, this guy get’s to choose?

2

u/pinkpitbull May 23 '22

Tbf it's more fun to do, than to see.

1

u/Numble May 23 '22

Then you hear the stories the next day "I got so fucked up"

1

u/SurealGod May 23 '22

For me, being drunk a few times has warded me off of drinking.

Really don't like the sensation of being drunk and being hungover is really not fun.

18

u/abofh May 23 '22

Remember remember, the fifth of JW

17

u/Shajirr May 23 '22

You can’t arrest alcohol. You cannot kill alcohol. Alcohol is bulletproof. People are not. A handful of people do not represent Anonymous Alcoholics as a whole. Anonymous Alcoholics will be here long after we are all dead. It doesn’t end with them or any number of people. We are a drunk legion, we are endless.

31

u/ghalfacree May 23 '22

Alcoholic Anonymouses.

15

u/BigHarryMC May 23 '22

Anonymice

3

u/LOTRfreak101 May 23 '22

Anonymousen

6

u/Mr-Papuca May 23 '22

Remember Remember, the "5th" of November.

1

u/PunchDrunken May 24 '22

I so hope this blows up. Never met a brown bag bottle I didn't love

50

u/DickNDiaz May 23 '22

AA meetings are full of assholes.

"When I was out there drinking, I was the biggest asshole at the bar"

"Well when I was drinking, I was a bigger asshole than you were at the same bar"

"Well when I was drinking, I was a bigger asshole than both of you, and I was the bartender"

"I remember all of you. Yeah you were all assholes at the time. But I still fucked you"

"Hi Sherrie"

58

u/Hiroshitma_Canada May 23 '22

Genuinely sorry that was your experience. Some of the greatest people I’ve ever met I met in AA meetings.

And yes, like anywhere, there will be assholes. Obviously, we’re ex-drunks!

“If you like everyone in AA, you’re not going to enough meetings” always makes me chuckle

8

u/DontWorryItsEasy May 23 '22

"And if you think everyone likes you then you aren't paying attention!"

1

u/DickNDiaz May 23 '22

I used to go the AA years ago because I was partying a bit too hard and needed to get my shit together, people there were generally nice, made a few friends, did my steps and all that. But once meeting started, it was like Festivus lulz, "The Airing of the Grievances!". The asshole contest was something that always happened every meeting, and people took your inventory and had relations with each other. I stopped going because I had enough of sobriety, although I don't drink like I used to for years now.

12

u/40percentdailysodium May 23 '22

Every AA meeting I've seen was a pity party where only the past mistakes were delved into with zero attempts at making a better future. Shit made me want to drink more.

26

u/my_special_purpose May 23 '22

Wow sounds like you went to some shitty meetings. Or you went to one meeting and made a blanket generalization.

9

u/bobofred May 23 '22

Pretty spot on from my experience too.

24

u/my_special_purpose May 23 '22

That’s too bad. Not my experience at all. Pretty much everyone in the meetings I go to are successful. AA people are the most positive and outgoing people I know, almost to the point of annoyance.

10

u/bobofred May 23 '22

It did not help me at all, no to say it's not worth trying. I belive there are studies that suggest less than 5% of people that try it are actually successful at quitting drinking. I swear talking about alcohol for an hour or 2 regularly makes me want to drink again though.

5

u/AlphaGoldFrog May 23 '22

I'd wager that less than 5% of people who try to quit drinking fail, AA meetings or not. It's just a hard thing to do.

If you are still working in quitting, I'd suggest trying to get into a substance therapy class through your health insurance. It will be a group therapy led by a licensed therapist. Depending on your situation, they may also pair it with treatment from the chemical dependency department. I personally liked the vibe of the healthcare focused approach more, and really liked everyone in the group. That part is always a total crapshoot though.

-1

u/my_special_purpose May 23 '22

AA is considered the most effective treatment/intervention for alcoholism. There’s have been 57 scientific studies since it’s conception and it is part of the Cochrane Database, the gold standard of scientific review.

3

u/Paradigm6790 May 23 '22

I've got no reason to go, but I seem to only hear bad things about it

9

u/Double-Drop May 23 '22

Alcoholics Anonymous saved my life 34 years ago. I dont go to meetings anymore but the things I learned are still central to how I try to live.

Now you've heard a good thing about it.

4

u/Paradigm6790 May 23 '22

I have, thanks for that!

7

u/40percentdailysodium May 23 '22

Went to three different ones in my area. It was depressing. I eventually ended up finding a group therapy meetup focused more on the trauma side of things than addiction, but it helped me a lot more. My partner went to many more than me and confirmed that in that area, AA is just fucking miserable.

A rule we had in group was "headlines only." Don't delve into details. Everyone is here for the same thing, and going into the details was simply distressing. The group was focused far more on mental health skill building in response to trauma and substance abuse triggers.

9

u/my_special_purpose May 23 '22

That sucks. Meetings in my are area full of the most outgoing successful people I know and all the focus is on recovery and addressing personal defects and being of service to other people.

1

u/40percentdailysodium May 23 '22

That's a relief to hear. The local meetings have caused issues for so many people I've met who wanted help but felt the spaces were too negative. I was really wondering how AA was still a thing because of it. So glad it's not universal.

4

u/potentpotables May 23 '22

the entire premise of the program is to improve yourself to make a better future. usually stories of their past should be used as a qualifier that the person speaking is indeed an alcoholic, and then their experience getting sober and improving carries more weight.

0

u/DickNDiaz May 23 '22

I stopped going to them because the whole religion side of it, even though it's not meant to be religious, just the whole higher power thing. Plus everyone is up in your shit, like church lol. I am agnostic, I don't believe in religion, so there is that.

1

u/40percentdailysodium May 23 '22

That part made me very uncomfortable as a queer man ngl

6

u/wjodendor May 23 '22

My friend went to AA for a while but he left because it was pretty much exclusively angry, middle age people. He said it was a haven for MaGA racists (at least the meeting in his area obviously)

3

u/ankisaves May 23 '22

You sonofabitch, I’m in.

3

u/Sea-Row-1790 May 23 '22

Anonymous sex addicts was already a mess

4

u/willzterman May 23 '22

Can confirm: this is funny

3

u/AdministrativeAd7601 May 23 '22

Dang that took me too long to get.

1

u/psgrue May 23 '22

Same. The artist tricking my reading brain (probably the intent) was more clever than the juxtaposition.

2

u/grafknives May 23 '22

I prefer UD - unknown drunkards

2

u/downtimeredditor May 23 '22

Must be a crypto convention

2

u/Im_Lars May 23 '22

We are alcoholics,

We are leeg-legion.

Expect us. (pukes)

2

u/BrokeInService May 23 '22

No no no, I said I'm an alcoholic, synonymous

2

u/PlaxicoCN May 23 '22

There used to be a band called Alcoholics Unanimous.

2

u/Proper-Bar-1259 May 23 '22

The sex addicts anonymous meeting after was just a bunch of Fawking horny Guys!

4

u/Godbolte May 23 '22

Zach is that you?

3

u/SitInCorner_Yo2 May 23 '22

It’s a strong incentive to quit your booze demon though.

4

u/agentSMIITH1 May 23 '22

Fuckin' computer needs can't handle their liquor

12

u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding May 23 '22

We don’t forgive, we don’t forget (because the alcohol stopped us from retaining any memories in the first place).

7

u/jordantask May 23 '22

“Expect us…. Not to remember anything by morning.”

2

u/Deep-purpleheart May 23 '22

It's not that far off from a few of them.

3

u/InjuryOnly4775 May 23 '22

I don’t get it?

14

u/StAUG1211 May 23 '22

Anonymous is a loose alliance of anti-government/corporate hackers and activists, known for wearing Guy Fawkes masks to cover their identities.

2

u/jghaines May 23 '22

We showed an AI one million comics. This is what it came up with.

5

u/Admetus May 23 '22

Also the words are swapped around from alcoholics anonymous where anonymous refers to a safe anonymous place to share. The swap of words mean almost the same thing but anonymous is now an adjective describing the alcoholics themselves and not the place. Good excuse for the joke of this comic.

14

u/mpelton May 23 '22

Instead of Alcoholics Anonymous, the organization, they’re anonymous alcoholics. So they’re just a bunch of drunks in masks lol.

-7

u/chopchohp May 23 '22

It's funny because it's true ?

0

u/PresidentMcRaven May 23 '22

Get help with substance use (For those who might need this)

1

u/PennyLiner May 23 '22

This reminds me of 2008, Chanology, and Anon parties. People got drunk and nerds lost their V for Virginity... well, at least once. All I know is that I'll never drink peppermint schnapps again. Hail Xenu.

0

u/MySweetUsername May 23 '22

Where's the funny part?

0

u/TragicMagic81 May 23 '22

They're alcoholics. They're also anonymous since they're wearing masks to hide their identity.

The guy without the mask went to this Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, but found it wasn't what he anticipated.

-15

u/chadnessthehighness May 23 '22

Not funny at all?

7

u/Skulker_S May 23 '22

That's not a question?

7

u/Rocklobster92 May 23 '22

Is that the question?

1

u/TaM_tHe_JaM May 23 '22

I thought this was r/rimworld

1

u/RawrSuka May 23 '22

This feels like gaming late at night.

1

u/Tuna_Sushi May 23 '22

This is funny because the middle guy in the first panel is a mime.

1

u/csk1325 May 23 '22

Now that is funny.

1

u/Ratio-Fabulous May 23 '22

When you arrive late for the party:

1

u/castiel002 May 23 '22

Same shit, different thinking. Jump off the wagon, do some drinking!

1

u/Gevrey-Chambertin May 23 '22

This is the meeting I need! 🍻

1

u/Dinodigger67 May 23 '22

We have platitudes that will help you

1

u/Onionroleplay567 May 23 '22

Payday 2 stoic

1

u/Ugene_Higgens May 23 '22

Even better tbh

1

u/Ugene_Higgens May 23 '22

Seriously what would you rather have, these absolute party machines or waaaaa i struck a child drunk driving waaaaa 😭

1

u/fatelectrobooom May 23 '22

Thiiiis ees anonimous. We donut forgub. We do noh forgeh

1

u/blondennerdy May 24 '22

Ah I wish I could post this in my alanon group (yes I have an alcoholic husband) but they would all be pissed lmao. No sense of humor.

Which is too bad.

1

u/Recent_Garlic May 24 '22

I want to attend anonymous sex addicts

1

u/jeffersonsam99 May 24 '22

Many of them are not reach their goal based on their wishes, drinking alcohol will makes the human life into so many bad health issues and disaster, So better to quit drinking alcohol habits is a good option for living a healthy and happy life.

-3

u/Luquin69 May 23 '22

Excuse but How The Fuck Is This Funny?