r/funny
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u/Miles_the_new_kid
MyGumsAreBleeding
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May 23 '22
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Not what I expected Verified
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u/fh3131 May 23 '22
V is for Vodka
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u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding May 23 '22
V is an upside down “A” for alcoholism, which makes sense if your drunk
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u/DigNitty May 23 '22
Remember remember the fifth of tequila
The gunpowder gin drinks and pot
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u/-Pelvis- May 23 '22
Interesting, I use the metric system so I've never known what a "fifth" of booze was. Just found out 1 Litre = 0.219 Gallons, so a fifth of a gallon is about a litre. :)
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u/goj1ra May 23 '22
A quart, or quarter of a gallon (946 ml), is about a liter. A fifth of a gallon is 757 ml, which is close to the standard liquor bottle size of 750 ml.
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u/-Pelvis- May 23 '22 edited May 23 '22
Oh what the heck, I didn't realise the conversion site I was on was showing me UK gallons. Yeah 750mL is the standard size here in Canada, but 1L is also used.
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u/Hinermad May 23 '22
For most of my misspent youth spirits came in 750 ml bottles, which we called a fifth. But the customs laws in the U.S. (and I think Canada too) allow travelers to bring 1 liter of spirits back into the country without paying import duty, so I've been seeing 1 liter bottles of spirits more frequently in stores over the past few years.
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u/UkrUkrUkr May 23 '22
They use an upside down A literal as a sign of "all" in mathematics. Don't know how it is called in English. So even more sense!
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u/BrewtusMaximus1 May 23 '22
The symbol is a “turned A” and it denotes “universal quantification” in logic.
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u/ashamedprotein May 23 '22
As someone with a toddler who loves Sesame Street (and Cookie Monster in particular), I can’t help but read this comment to the tune of the song “C is for Cookie”
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u/NikPorto May 23 '22
And VV is for Whiskey
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u/What_U_KNO May 23 '22
That's UU
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u/Nachodam May 23 '22
In Spanish then
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u/What_U_KNO May 23 '22
UU or Double U.
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u/Nachodam May 23 '22
It depends on the country actually, in some it's called Doble U, in some others it's Doble V
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u/jordantask May 23 '22 edited May 23 '22
“Remember remember the 5th of November….”
“The gunpowder treason?”
“No. My birthday bash We’re gonna get WASTED!!!!!”
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u/WantToBeBetterAtSex May 23 '22
The first step is to admit that we are Anonymous and we are legion.
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u/69rubberducks May 23 '22
Actually those are 3rd and 4th rules the first two rules say: 1. Do not talk about /b/, 2. Do NOT talk about /b/
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u/008Zulu May 23 '22
Remember to take off the mask before you puke this time.
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u/Fafnir13 May 23 '22
Blasts vomit from the eyeholes
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u/Mining_elite222 May 23 '22
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u/Skaryon May 23 '22
I once watched a dude wearing one of those horse masks that enclose your full head puke at a festival. Shot out of the nostrils. Fun times.
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u/MKflipflops May 23 '22
As someone who has thrown up in a mask, though not this type or for this reason, I second this wholeheartedly.
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u/strangebru May 23 '22
I would never be an alcoholic, there's too many meetings. I'll just remain a drunk.
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u/WellThatsJustLikeYou May 23 '22
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u/dqflynn May 23 '22
tbh watching drunk people has probably been one of my strongest forces against becoming an alcoholic
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u/d3ds3c_0ff1c147 May 23 '22
I thought I was so funny and witty when I was drinking. Since I've been sober, it's really hard to be around drunk people because I see myself, and I cringe.
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u/PoorlyLitKiwi2 May 23 '22
Nothing worse than waking up the next morning and thinking: "Fuck, I can't believe I actually said that..." lol
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May 23 '22
[deleted]
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u/toesonthenose May 23 '22
congrats for real. coming up on three myself and your comment about seeing yourself and cringing is so spot on
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u/Bleezington May 23 '22
Care to share the details of your night, the part you remember?
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u/pdxcranberry May 23 '22
On demand reality television is 24/7 sobriety affirmation for me. If I'm feeling like alcohol might be a solution, I just throw on some Below Deck and let the wasted yatchies make my mistakes for me.
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u/oimerde May 23 '22
My uncle was an alcoholic, in fact all the males including the dad where all alcoholics. One of the older brothers died by drinking some type of chemical substance thinking it was alcohol. Looking at my uncle drunk everyday since I was a kid was a very sad, but also kinda funny. He was always falling and saying funny things. Eventually obviously he died because of alcohol. Between his kids he had 6 kids and the rest cousins and neighbors we growth up and avoid alcohol as much as possible. Seeing someone constantly drinking and eventually dying of alcohol does really affect your childhood. We learned a big lesson and that was to never let alcohol take control of your life.
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u/beansahol May 23 '22
Bare in mind you're mostly not seeing alcoholics, you're seeing binge drinkers.
The real alcoholics are the people sitting at home drinking 1/2 a litre of whisky every night just so they can keep feeling calm and not like total shit. And if they tried to go cold turkey it could kill them.
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u/potentpotables May 23 '22
it can be both. binge drinkers can be alcoholics- especially if they normally don't plan on getting hammered, but can't help it if they start out with a couple and just can't stop before they get totally wasted.
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u/SurealGod May 23 '22
For me, being drunk a few times has warded me off of drinking.
Really don't like the sensation of being drunk and being hungover is really not fun.
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u/Shajirr May 23 '22
You can’t arrest alcohol. You cannot kill alcohol. Alcohol is bulletproof. People are not. A handful of people do not represent Anonymous Alcoholics as a whole. Anonymous Alcoholics will be here long after we are all dead. It doesn’t end with them or any number of people. We are a drunk legion, we are endless.
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u/DickNDiaz May 23 '22
AA meetings are full of assholes.
"When I was out there drinking, I was the biggest asshole at the bar"
"Well when I was drinking, I was a bigger asshole than you were at the same bar"
"Well when I was drinking, I was a bigger asshole than both of you, and I was the bartender"
"I remember all of you. Yeah you were all assholes at the time. But I still fucked you"
"Hi Sherrie"
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u/Hiroshitma_Canada May 23 '22
Genuinely sorry that was your experience. Some of the greatest people I’ve ever met I met in AA meetings.
And yes, like anywhere, there will be assholes. Obviously, we’re ex-drunks!
“If you like everyone in AA, you’re not going to enough meetings” always makes me chuckle
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u/DontWorryItsEasy May 23 '22
"And if you think everyone likes you then you aren't paying attention!"
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u/DickNDiaz May 23 '22
I used to go the AA years ago because I was partying a bit too hard and needed to get my shit together, people there were generally nice, made a few friends, did my steps and all that. But once meeting started, it was like Festivus lulz, "The Airing of the Grievances!". The asshole contest was something that always happened every meeting, and people took your inventory and had relations with each other. I stopped going because I had enough of sobriety, although I don't drink like I used to for years now.
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u/40percentdailysodium May 23 '22
Every AA meeting I've seen was a pity party where only the past mistakes were delved into with zero attempts at making a better future. Shit made me want to drink more.
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u/my_special_purpose May 23 '22
Wow sounds like you went to some shitty meetings. Or you went to one meeting and made a blanket generalization.
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u/bobofred May 23 '22
Pretty spot on from my experience too.
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u/my_special_purpose May 23 '22
That’s too bad. Not my experience at all. Pretty much everyone in the meetings I go to are successful. AA people are the most positive and outgoing people I know, almost to the point of annoyance.
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u/bobofred May 23 '22
It did not help me at all, no to say it's not worth trying. I belive there are studies that suggest less than 5% of people that try it are actually successful at quitting drinking. I swear talking about alcohol for an hour or 2 regularly makes me want to drink again though.
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u/AlphaGoldFrog May 23 '22
I'd wager that less than 5% of people who try to quit drinking fail, AA meetings or not. It's just a hard thing to do.
If you are still working in quitting, I'd suggest trying to get into a substance therapy class through your health insurance. It will be a group therapy led by a licensed therapist. Depending on your situation, they may also pair it with treatment from the chemical dependency department. I personally liked the vibe of the healthcare focused approach more, and really liked everyone in the group. That part is always a total crapshoot though.
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u/my_special_purpose May 23 '22
AA is considered the most effective treatment/intervention for alcoholism. There’s have been 57 scientific studies since it’s conception and it is part of the Cochrane Database, the gold standard of scientific review.
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u/Paradigm6790 May 23 '22
I've got no reason to go, but I seem to only hear bad things about it
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u/Double-Drop May 23 '22
Alcoholics Anonymous saved my life 34 years ago. I dont go to meetings anymore but the things I learned are still central to how I try to live.
Now you've heard a good thing about it.
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u/40percentdailysodium May 23 '22
Went to three different ones in my area. It was depressing. I eventually ended up finding a group therapy meetup focused more on the trauma side of things than addiction, but it helped me a lot more. My partner went to many more than me and confirmed that in that area, AA is just fucking miserable.
A rule we had in group was "headlines only." Don't delve into details. Everyone is here for the same thing, and going into the details was simply distressing. The group was focused far more on mental health skill building in response to trauma and substance abuse triggers.
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u/my_special_purpose May 23 '22
That sucks. Meetings in my are area full of the most outgoing successful people I know and all the focus is on recovery and addressing personal defects and being of service to other people.
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u/40percentdailysodium May 23 '22
That's a relief to hear. The local meetings have caused issues for so many people I've met who wanted help but felt the spaces were too negative. I was really wondering how AA was still a thing because of it. So glad it's not universal.
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u/potentpotables May 23 '22
the entire premise of the program is to improve yourself to make a better future. usually stories of their past should be used as a qualifier that the person speaking is indeed an alcoholic, and then their experience getting sober and improving carries more weight.
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u/DickNDiaz May 23 '22
I stopped going to them because the whole religion side of it, even though it's not meant to be religious, just the whole higher power thing. Plus everyone is up in your shit, like church lol. I am agnostic, I don't believe in religion, so there is that.
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u/wjodendor May 23 '22
My friend went to AA for a while but he left because it was pretty much exclusively angry, middle age people. He said it was a haven for MaGA racists (at least the meeting in his area obviously)
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u/AdministrativeAd7601 May 23 '22
Dang that took me too long to get.
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u/psgrue May 23 '22
Same. The artist tricking my reading brain (probably the intent) was more clever than the juxtaposition.
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u/Proper-Bar-1259 May 23 '22
The sex addicts anonymous meeting after was just a bunch of Fawking horny Guys!
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u/agentSMIITH1 May 23 '22
Fuckin' computer needs can't handle their liquor
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u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding May 23 '22
We don’t forgive, we don’t forget (because the alcohol stopped us from retaining any memories in the first place).
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u/InjuryOnly4775 May 23 '22
I don’t get it?
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u/StAUG1211 May 23 '22
Anonymous is a loose alliance of anti-government/corporate hackers and activists, known for wearing Guy Fawkes masks to cover their identities.
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u/Admetus May 23 '22
Also the words are swapped around from alcoholics anonymous where anonymous refers to a safe anonymous place to share. The swap of words mean almost the same thing but anonymous is now an adjective describing the alcoholics themselves and not the place. Good excuse for the joke of this comic.
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u/mpelton May 23 '22
Instead of Alcoholics Anonymous, the organization, they’re anonymous alcoholics. So they’re just a bunch of drunks in masks lol.
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u/PennyLiner May 23 '22
This reminds me of 2008, Chanology, and Anon parties. People got drunk and nerds lost their V for Virginity... well, at least once. All I know is that I'll never drink peppermint schnapps again. Hail Xenu.
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u/MySweetUsername May 23 '22
Where's the funny part?
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u/TragicMagic81 May 23 '22
They're alcoholics. They're also anonymous since they're wearing masks to hide their identity.
The guy without the mask went to this Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, but found it wasn't what he anticipated.
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u/Ugene_Higgens May 23 '22
Seriously what would you rather have, these absolute party machines or waaaaa i struck a child drunk driving waaaaa 😭
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u/blondennerdy May 24 '22
Ah I wish I could post this in my alanon group (yes I have an alcoholic husband) but they would all be pissed lmao. No sense of humor.
Which is too bad.
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u/jeffersonsam99 May 24 '22
Many of them are not reach their goal based on their wishes, drinking alcohol will makes the human life into so many bad health issues and disaster, So better to quit drinking alcohol habits is a good option for living a healthy and happy life.
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