r/funny Oct 06 '22 Silver 4 Helpful 5 Wholesome 2 hehehehe 1 Ally 1 Table Slap 1 Duck Dance 1

I can’t stop watching this one

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15.7k Upvotes

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468

u/the_original_Retro Oct 06 '22

"Kenneth!"

*sigghhhhhh

You just know Kenneth does shit like this a lot.

173

u/Forcekin6532 Oct 06 '22

THEYRE COMMING FOR THE EGGS!!!!

115

u/Moontoya Oct 06 '22

The fading repeat gets me right in the giggles

66

u/4tehlulzez Oct 06 '22

They're coming for the eggs!!

Kenneth!

They're coming for the eggs!!

21

u/AeAeR Oct 06 '22

Big Fenton energy at the end there

9

u/AlfredE__HelloNeuman Oct 06 '22

Oh jesus christ!

7

u/2beatenup Oct 06 '22

Emmmaanuel !!!

2

u/Talklikeaduck Oct 07 '22

Emmmaanuel

... DON'T DO IT!

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333

u/gogojack Oct 06 '22

Kenneth is everyone on Nextdoor.

67

u/Shellcasingshower Oct 06 '22

“omg that was a gunshot just now!!!” or “did anybody like here gunshots early???”

56

u/BaconReceptacle Oct 06 '22

I love the fact that you can read a post like that on Nextdoor and have two dozen people reply with the same thing:

"I sounded more like a car back firing to me"

"Back fire"

"Damn kids with their souped up rice burners back firing"

"That was just a back fire from a car"

Then, amazingly someone who apparently missed all the previous content will simply jump in with:

"Definitely a high-powered rifle"

21

u/Hawthorne_Abendsen Oct 06 '22

Squirrel bridging the terminals on a transformer.

6

u/zathmi Oct 07 '22

I lived about a quarter of a mile from were a utility pole transformer exploded. It shook the entire house, knocked stuff off of shelves, and broke window panes. At least in that case it could not be mistaken for a simple gunshot.

4

u/Phoenix4235 Oct 07 '22

Try having one in your backyard when a squirrel decides it looks good to chew on…🙁

2

u/lannvouivre Oct 07 '22

My parents had an electric fence that would deliver a very uncomfortable but not dangerous zap to cats but apparently very lethal shock to birds. It's also uncomfortable to humans, very similar to the feeling of being badly startled by a loud sound right next to you except instead it's from all your muscles suddenly spasming rather than from you jumping 10 feet into the air and screaming.

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6

u/partialcremation Oct 06 '22

"Did anybody else hear that automatic weapon?"

6

u/bsiekie Oct 06 '22

Doesn’t matter where you are, everyone’s Next Door feed is identical. Fireworks, barking dogs, lost pets, damn trash pick up, and that one crazy person.

2

u/gogojack Oct 07 '22

Here it's also "suspicious" person. Anyone walking through the neighborhood under a certain age, wearing a hoodie, or being otherwise "suspicious." You know...

3

u/skynetempire Oct 06 '22

Hahahaha so true. (Fireworks) DID YOU HEAR THE AK47 GOING OFF!!!

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286

u/youzerVT71 Oct 06 '22

PTSD from the Emu War is no laughing matter

75

u/Killing_you_gently Oct 06 '22

Wars... We lost twice

18

u/Imixwords Oct 06 '22

War, war never changes.

2

u/Remoru Oct 07 '22

Some men just want to watch the world burn

14

u/zylstrar Oct 06 '22

ahem ...The Great Emu War.

4

u/Scratch312 Oct 06 '22

Just watched that this morning, pure gold

5

u/grizzle89 Oct 06 '22

Duck and cover!

13

u/Moontoya Oct 06 '22

No mate emus, not ducks

7

u/tman2543 Oct 06 '22

But also be wary of ducks..

6

u/ManikShamanik Oct 06 '22

And also cassowaries. Clue's in the name... not sure which would fuck you up more - an emu or a cassowary...

6

u/Howwasthatdoneagain Oct 06 '22

Cassowary is a killing machine. Emu is just the guy down the road.

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2

u/Rey7510-2 Oct 07 '22

r/beatmetoit And r/beatmetoit cause someone was gonna say it

3

u/Alarmed-Waffle3261 Oct 06 '22

Puppet history?

146

u/neckbones_ Oct 06 '22

I love him looking right I to the camera, like "why isn't anyone else freaking out?"

5

u/weirdal1968 Oct 07 '22

Kenneth must do this all the time. The goats completely ignored him.

35

u/Shellcasingshower Oct 06 '22

Kenneth is having flashbacks from the Emu War poor guy

24

u/punklinux Oct 06 '22

I am just picturing 76 million years ago and older, dinosaurs being this derpy, too.

11

u/haysoos2 Oct 07 '22

This would explain why they went extinct when mammals didn't. The sound of the comet hitting freaked them all out and they were running like this for about ten years.

The mammals just sitting there like "JFC, you done yet?"

6

u/polygonsaresorude Oct 07 '22

Dinosaurs aren't extinct. Emus are dinosaurs, as are all birds.

4

u/haysoos2 Oct 07 '22

Yes, but my post was already super-nerdy enough without using the dumb phrase "non-avian dinosaurs"

56

u/x9craze Oct 06 '22

This is Limu Emu’s audition tape.

8

u/gameman250 Oct 06 '22

So what was Doug's?

12

u/Schwarz-Adler Oct 06 '22

LIMU EMUUU

& Doug

3

u/Thumperings Oct 06 '22

He moves exactly like that guy Ice Poseidon.

188

u/TheCulturedNeighbour Oct 06 '22

I was unavailable for 10 minutes because of this. I watched, laughed uncontrollably and had to recover 😂🤣😂🤣

23

u/Main_Bhi_Mod Oct 06 '22

Some say that Emu is still running.

17

u/MollyMacDonaldDNiG Oct 06 '22

You managed to recover? 😂

17

u/IdolizedSubsidy Oct 06 '22

I just spat my drink out I laughed so hard 🤣🤣🤣

14

u/LogicBomb76 Oct 06 '22

Having never heard of the "Emu War," I went on a bit of a deep dive, a la Wikipedia.
If you haven't read the Wikipedia article, I must insist you do so and, while you read it, imagine - as I did - that it is being narrated by John Cleese. To Affect:

"... ornithologist Dominic Serventy commented:
The machine-gunners' dreams of point blank fire into serried masses of Emus
were soon dissipated. The Emu command had evidently ordered guerrilla
tactics, and its unwieldy army soon split up into innumerable small
units that made use of the military equipment uneconomic. A crestfallen
field force therefore withdrew from the combat area after about a month."

If that weren't enough, imagine my delight when I reached the bottom of the article only to discover this line:
"A movie retelling of the events, written by John Cleese, Monty Franklin, and Rob Schneider, is slated for release in 2022."

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emu_War

My day is now complete.

12

u/lurking_1234 Oct 06 '22

Barney Fife's pet emu.

7

u/wastedpixls Oct 06 '22

Git Down Andy!!!!!

55

u/DV_Zero_One Oct 06 '22

True Fact: Emus are born with enough Bork to run a small town for an entire year.

64

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '22

My son showed this to me last night and I laughed so hard I farted.

5

u/throwmeaway589 Oct 06 '22

You should probably check your pants

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27

u/sharrrper Oct 06 '22

Is this original audio or is it from something? It almost sounds like dialog from a TV show or something but the egg reference especially seems a bit too perfect.

48

u/bobming Oct 06 '22

I'm no expert but I'm pretty sure the emu's voice is a person and not a emu

5

u/finnjakefionnacake Oct 06 '22

I am an expert and I can say with all confidence that you might be right.

2

u/MTB_Mike_ Oct 06 '22

I am also an expert on Emu voice analysis. You both are possibly correct.

4

u/444unsure Oct 07 '22

I am an eggspert, and they are coming for me!

3

u/Misterputts Oct 06 '22

I think you're right the Emu's lips don't move

8

u/BreezyBadger420 Oct 06 '22

Main voice almost sounds like Jason Lee (My name is earl) to me and there is a Kenny that he is trying to atone for, but he strictly calls him Kenny and Kenny does not sound like that. But that definitely sounds like Jason Lee to me. Can't find anything about Jason Lee and a scene with "Kenneth" freaking out about eggs.

3

u/CPhyloGenesis Oct 07 '22

I can't find it either! I don't see anything like it with My Name is Earl, Mallrats, or Clerks. I'd love to know what it is from.

3

u/BreezyBadger420 Oct 07 '22

I could be mistaken. But its' definitely not Dogma either. Maybe its just someone who sounds extraordinarily like him. I feel like this would have fit very very well into a My Name is Earl Episode where Randy and Earl released all the Emus from an emu farm and they make up for it by rehabilitating an emu that developed PTSD from being released from the farm, so they try to hide it at the motel while its "recovering".

3

u/CPhyloGenesis Oct 07 '22

I'm not confident they didn't make exactly the episode you just described. :P

Yeah I think they just sound like him.

2

u/BreezyBadger420 Oct 08 '22

"Earl! Earl! That long necked chicken got out of the bathroom again!"

"Damn it Randy! I thought I told you to close the bathroom window after you're done brushing your teeth. I don't know why you have to have it open while brushing your teeth anyways."

[Flashback to earl and randy as children. Earl throws a pissed off rooster into the bathroom after turning out the light and randy's only escape was their bathroom window.]

"Earl you know I can't brush my teeth without the window open since Mr Frank's rooster attacked me for no reason. I tried closing it from the outside but it's too high up and you won't let me use the step-ladder."

"Randy, I'd let you use the step-ladder but you keep leaving it out in the middle of the room and I trip on it when I get up in the middle of the night."

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8

u/ApocalypticUtopia Oct 07 '22

It's original audio made by Dusty Dubs. They post on YouTube and tiktok

3

u/FinalSlaw Oct 06 '22

@dustymdouglas on tik tok

2

u/Bumbling_Sprocket Oct 06 '22 edited Oct 06 '22

Maybe not though?? The more I listen to it the less sure I am.. that may not be Jack...

6

u/New_Day_Rising Oct 06 '22

I will laugh at this one every time. (Except for the one where they took out the sound. Fuck that guy.)

7

u/eagflc Oct 06 '22

Must have served in the Australian War.

18

u/IncrediblyMellow Oct 06 '22

Someone please draw in arms for this bird lol

11

u/Reelix Oct 06 '22

Try over at /r/reallifedoodles

3

u/hells_cowbells Oct 06 '22 edited Oct 06 '22

My first thought was that this needs to be there.

3

u/carriegood Oct 06 '22

My first thought was, "where are its arms?"

5

u/3s2ng Oct 06 '22

That's just perfect!

Now I want an Emu pet.

6

u/Marsupialize Oct 06 '22

Every Facebook neighborhood group

18

u/needless_publisher Oct 06 '22

I watched it many times and still can't recover. I'm laughing so hard

4

u/DepartmentThin4142 Oct 06 '22

This is gold, pure gold. Thank you for the morning laugh.

3

u/Winst0nTh3Third Oct 06 '22

Lolololol good one

3

u/fast_tt Oct 06 '22

How the hell do I download the video

1

u/xDarkReign Oct 06 '22

I know, right? Damn Reddit.

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3

u/TheSturmjaeger Oct 07 '22

This is the kind of humor the internet was made for!

3

u/RoyalPython82899 Oct 07 '22

Can you believe Australia lost a war to this goofy creature?

5

u/cloudkiller Oct 06 '22

Omg, it gets better every loop

4

u/Msdamgoode Oct 06 '22

My puppy does the same zoomie, but as funny as he is? Not this funny!

4

u/GoochyGoochyGoo Oct 06 '22

I loooooove the internet for stuff like this. LMAO.

5

u/jondgul Oct 06 '22

These videos exist solely to get stoners stuck in a loop. These videos exist solely to get stoners stuck in a loop

2

u/kevboard Oct 06 '22

Emus are adorable little derps

2

u/Mountain_Acadia_9317 Oct 06 '22

That's epic!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

2

u/Homechicken42 Oct 06 '22

Quick question: Was the Emu in fact shot by a gun?

3

u/fell-deeds-awake Oct 06 '22

I think because the emu says it was a drive-by attempt we can deduce he was not, in fact, shot.

2

u/hyper_blue_blur Oct 06 '22

Some darn fine voice-over syncing right there. I need to be working, but can’t stop watching this. Lol

2

u/FinalSlaw Oct 06 '22

@dustymdouglas on tik tok

2

u/AllyRx Oct 06 '22

Poor man’s traumatized 😭😭

2

u/Zotar1235813 Oct 06 '22

Very funny.....I could take more of those. LOL. Really good job

2

u/zingingcutie333 Oct 06 '22

I've watched this 84 times. I can't stop 😂

2

u/ClayWheelGirl Oct 06 '22

Neither can I

Not can I stop laughing. This is so well done!

2

u/DanBelnK Oct 07 '22

This is magnificent 👏 I needed this thank you for sharing 🙏

2

u/RainKid3 Oct 07 '22

It’s giving… Bend Oregon since the shooting

2

u/bainjuice Oct 07 '22

Why can't I stop watching this?! OMG so funny!!

4

u/MTN_Dewit Oct 06 '22

So yall know, Australia fought a whole war against these birds.... and lost

-1

u/pumpkin_fire Oct 06 '22

If by "whole war" you mean "three guys with a machine gun and a ute went to the middle of nowhere to cull emus and ran out of bullets".

3

u/Msports180 Oct 06 '22

Emus are the dumbest animals but dang they are funny.

2

u/A40 Oct 06 '22

TIL emus get the zoomies.

2

u/gammongaming11 Oct 06 '22

this is the bird that defeated the Australian army.

1

u/AdvancedFizzics Oct 06 '22

Wild to see how much bigger it’s brain is than the other animals.

1

u/Suitable-Gear4363 Oct 06 '22

Now imagine that crazy fuck having 2in long sharp teeth…. ☠️🤣

1

u/mokkingjay Oct 06 '22

I love kenneth

1

u/golddragon88 Oct 06 '22

Why is everybody mocking a war vet?

1

u/sillypicture Oct 06 '22

Head attached on a rope.

1

u/jasminrea86 Oct 06 '22

Omg can't stop laughing, it's been replaying for over 5mins, kids are staring at me 🤣🤣🤣

1

u/NahFaquuuu Oct 06 '22

A cracked emu. Literally!

1

u/Ghost31B Oct 06 '22

I have to say, that’s pretty funny.

1

u/Shampoopoo_6969 Oct 06 '22

Shit!!! Run Kenneth!!! I hope those eggs are okay, sending my prayers from Colombia 🙏🙏🙏.

1

u/Rhianna83 Oct 06 '22

They’re coming for the eggs! God sakes the children! Save the children!

0

u/Kbdiggity Oct 06 '22

Too funny

0

u/taoistknight Oct 06 '22

Pretty sure this is the work of https://www.youtube.com/c/KLRProductions

I've seen this before... but I can't find the exact video this got taken from. :( Lots of funny stuff there, if you guys enjoyed this.

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-1

u/Responsible-Pen-4386 Oct 06 '22

Accidental cumshot scares Emu.

1

u/Porsche997-2 Oct 06 '22

Funny as fuck!

1

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '22

I didn't listen to the audio, so I can only assume that he's the next contestant on the Price is Right

1

u/ThouKnave Oct 06 '22

I need an edit of this, with a red baseball cap. You know why...

1

u/Safe-Membership8519 Oct 06 '22

Ww2 flashbacks rocking

1

u/Jonesy2700 Oct 06 '22

Ah this had me in tears 🤣

I needed that. Aaah, this is hilarious 😁

1

u/Blazikinahat Oct 06 '22

Where is Doug?

1

u/Tawiligie Oct 06 '22

that emu is fast

1

u/Enogor Oct 06 '22

Is this original audio for this clip or is it from something else?

1

u/StrategieTycoon Oct 06 '22

Therapie comming for the Eggs!!!

1

u/hellocomputer77 Oct 06 '22

He reminds me of Napoleon Dynamite

1

u/Acceptable-Net2557 Oct 06 '22

It's literally the best video on the internet. I LOVE how the emu jumps up. SO much like a startled human. Bahaha what a ridiculous bird. Did you see his little arm nubbins?

1

u/mksavage1138 Oct 06 '22

I'd love to know just what frequency Kenneth is on

1

u/CaspinK Oct 06 '22

As someone with the name in question. I wholeheartedly admit this would be my reaction.

1

u/pleasehelpme_2020 Oct 06 '22

Kennet driveby

1

u/ProtectionDecent Oct 06 '22

It was funny without the sound, but goddamn it's so much better with it.

1

u/DogeDayAftern00n Oct 06 '22

Kenneth having emu wars flashbacks and we’re all just sitting here laughing at him. WTH people?

1

u/FirstForFun44 Oct 06 '22

It's no wonder Australia lost the emu wars. The way that fucker bobbed and weaved... No way you could hit that shit.

1

u/roxannefromarkansas Oct 06 '22

And now I can’t stop watching it.

1

u/JagdRhino Oct 06 '22

R. Lee ermey came back from the dead to make a tik tok...

1

u/Bl00dyDruid Oct 06 '22

This a police academy?

1

u/AussieJesusDuckGod Oct 06 '22

Is this audio original or was it ripped from somewhere and dubbed over the video? If it's dubbed, I need the sauce to binge watch the original.

1

u/Ok-Kaleidoscope220 Oct 06 '22

Thank you thank you. I needed this today. Doesn’t get old.

1

u/kylekad Oct 06 '22

That is great lol!

Is there a way to get the youtube link so I can share it easily?