r/nottheonion 14d ago

US to give away free lighthouses as GPS makes them unnecessary

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2023/may/26/us-free-lighthouses-gps
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u/AUWarEagle82 14d ago

There is a lighthouse on a small island in the Chesapeake Bay that is for sale. But you can't live in the lighthouse after you buy it. Somebody in the government thinks this is a bargain.

https://wtop.com/maryland/2022/08/online-auction-of-chesapeake-bay-lighthouse-still-looking-for-first-bidder/

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u/Miss-Figgy 14d ago

No wonder there are no takers. You're basically paying to maintain the lighthouse for government use.

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u/velhaconta 14d ago

That is why so many of them are being given away. You are required to preserve them and make them available to the public.

These are not intended for private citizens to buy. They are for local governments or historical/preservation societies.

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u/ThePhoneBook 14d ago

So paint me thick but why not just let the government continue to do this?

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u/velhaconta 14d ago edited 14d ago

That is basically what they are offering. The current agency that owns them is in charge of navigation. Since they are no longer used for navigation, they are looking for a more appropriate agencies, local governments or other institutions to take them off their hands and turn them into historical/tourist attractions.

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u/bob4apples 13d ago edited 13d ago

Except that they are still required for navigation. From the article:

First, it’s an active lighthouse used for navigation, so the U.S. Coast Guard needs access in order to operate and maintain its light.

Now the one in the article may be an exceptionally poor choice. It is 4 miles offshore (no island) in a Naval range, you're not normally allowed to stay there (probably because of the "Naval range" part), you're comings and goings will be monitored (range again) and you need to allow access.

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u/[deleted] 13d ago edited 21h ago

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u/weatherseed 13d ago

There was a post this week on companies removing AM radio capabilities from their cars. The term I heard used was "fallback technology" in defense of AM. Something that is robust, reliable, and parts are easily avaliable or so simple that you could build them.

Lighthouses would be a good fallback technology.

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u/Silly_Recording2806 13d ago

I used to manage a couple of FM radio stations and about 10 years ago I leased major space to the Coast Guard for VHF radio antennas at about 500 feet high on the Gulf Coast. I asked why they were going back to such old technology and they said it was a fallback in case nuclear weapons disrupted the magnetic spectrum that carries digital signals.

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u/SeaboarderCoast 13d ago

It's why some nations have Strategic Steam Reserves - reserves of steam locomotives held in complexes, ready to be used if the grid goes down. Diesels need, well, diesel - unable to be pumped if the grid is down; Electric locomotives obviously need electricity, but all steam locomotives need is coal, oil, or wood and water, and pretty much all steam engines can be forced to run - albeit poorly - on nearly anything that will burn. If you can start a fire with it, it can probably run a steam locomotive.

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u/totally_not_spez 13d ago

Let’s say your nice boat was struck by lightning overnight. Now you can only navigate in the storm by compass and dead reckoning, unable to see where the shore is based on the lighthouses.

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u/random_BA 13d ago

Wow if it's true, the article call was a big misleading headline.

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u/BriRoxas 13d ago

I was really ready to turn one into a club.

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u/Reddit_Roit 13d ago

Paint a head and some veins on it and call it Club Cock

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u/handsforhooks44 13d ago

Name's already trademarked by my vageen, bub. Sorry.

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u/Norma5tacy 14d ago

I mean maybe if i was like super rich I’d buy one for the lolz but a regular poor person like me? Nah.

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u/Sw00p_da_w00p 14d ago

I'm just waiting for some company to buy them up and get a billion dollar deal to keep them upkept, citing gps security concerns

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u/tipperzack6 13d ago

Sounds like the perfect scam

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u/Even-Citron-1479 13d ago

That's pretty much 90% of government deals to pay corporations to do something, yeah. They're just dressed-up grifts.

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u/Magic_Man_Boobs 14d ago

So you're paying 15 thousand for the honor of becoming responsible for the lighthouse's upkeep but can only visit when the Navy okays it and cannot spend even a single overnight there unless you're performing maintenance. Why doesn't the Navy just pay someone to do this job?

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u/shahooster 14d ago

“For you, all the costs and no benefits! Great deal really!”

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u/Scarbane 14d ago

The government may as well just call it a bird sanctuary and let it fall into ruin. It'll look really cool in 50+ years.

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u/OrindaSarnia 14d ago

Congress passed a Lighthouse Preservation Law that says when the US gov is done with them, they have to first offer them for free to local governments, non-profits, or any other organization that is capable of maintaining them as open to the public foe educational and historic purposes.

If no such arrangement can be made, they will be offered at auction. If nobody buys it, what you propose can be done. But the first two steps must happened first.

The idea is it would be REALLY easy for the government to just let them all fall into ruin... but many lighthouses have strong connections to their communities, and so they should get first dibs on them. After that the government should realize monetary gain on unused property because otherwise it's just a waste of tax dollars.

The law doesn't make sense for every lighthouse, some, like this one, nobody will want. But going through the steps is important because it means other lighthouses, that can be preserved via local support, will have that chance!

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u/Pezdrake 13d ago

Thank you for this sane rational defense of bureacracy. Bureacracy is slow and laborious but really good at avoiding bad results.

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u/Friend_or_FoH 13d ago

The problem with Hooper Island light, is it’s like 3.5 miles away from Hoopers Island, out in the middle of the bay. This probably can’t be left to fall into ruin, or it will become a nautical hazard instead of a warning to avoid the sandbar it sits on.

Sounds like the US Navy needs to buy a lighthouse. Also they should stop dropping munitions into the bay.

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u/cadff 13d ago

Kinda hard to find money in their annual budget of $56,287 million

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u/MonkeyTacoBreath 14d ago

Agreed. There should be more no mans lands for animals.

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u/CanAlwaysBeBetter 14d ago

"I AM NO MAN"

Pulls off helmet and stabs bird in face

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u/Pezdrake 13d ago

<pelican implodes with anguished cry>

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u/moeburn 14d ago

Yeah but what's the stick here? "If you don't maintain it or try to visit during off-hours, we'll take it away and make someone else pay to clean it!" oh nooooooo

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u/LA-Matt 14d ago

“This baby can hold so much of your time and money.”

*slaps side of lighthouse

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u/RJ815 14d ago

crumbles from no maintenance

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u/MisterMasterCylinder 14d ago

If you want to be near the water while spending a ton of time and money on maintenance with nothing to show for it but memories, just get a boat like everyone else

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u/yehti 14d ago

I know there's the whole "This is the worst trade deal in the history of trade deals" meme but damn this might actually be the worst. The only benefit out of this is that you get to say you own a lighthouse. Everything else is shitty or an inconvenience that you have to pay for.

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u/BaanMeMoarSenpai 14d ago

Many people pay considerably more money to say they own things considerably less cool.

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u/highbrowshow 14d ago

Yes I know an nft owner as well

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u/appdevil 14d ago

A lighthouse bored ape.

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u/Working_Mastodon2619 14d ago

There was a man who paid real human money to own VIRTUAL real estate in the metaverse next to Snoop Dogg

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u/shitzpostarus 14d ago edited 13d ago

Man, as a VR enthusiast I'm going to look back on late 2021-2022 so poorly. I really enjoy the tech for gaming, but holy cringe Batman was its first modern foray into the mainstream such a cringefest.

Edit: foray not foyer

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u/big_noop 13d ago

Think you mean foray not foyer

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u/deelyy 14d ago

Cough, Twitter, cough

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u/WeirdSysAdmin 14d ago

I hate people. I would willingly live in a lighthouse for fun with the only requirement being that I can get broadband internet that isn’t starlink. They are missing out on easy money with the housing market.

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u/Biking_dude 14d ago

"Whelp, this baby needs a LOT of maintenance. Looks like I'll be here for the next, oh, 20-30 years"

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u/[deleted] 14d ago edited 11d ago

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u/TheUncleBob 14d ago

"The lighthouse needs $10k in repairs! I can't afford this!"

"Oh, that's fine."

"Really?"

"Wait, we said that's a fine. $25k plz."

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u/RedditHasStrayedFrom 14d ago

Only if the Navy okays it

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u/TheBoctor 14d ago

It’s somehow an even worse deal, because you have to grant the USCG access to maintain just the light, so you have to coordinate with them, but because the lighthouse is in a USN training area you have to get permission from them as well.

So you’ll need to coordinate with at least two separate government agencies, neither of which is known for its bureaucratic expediency.

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u/Minion_of_Cthulhu 13d ago edited 13d ago

Just have their liasons get in contact with your liason and they can all get together and hire a contractor who will then subcontract the work to a dozen other companies for maintenance. When everything goes to shit because nobody is talking to anyone else and nobody knows what's going on, someone will suggest hiring someone to oversee the mess and they'll bring in someone with no experience in this area to project manage the entire thing. When that fails, it will eventually be handed over to some committee to find a solution and all they'll do is hold a vote to schedule another meeting to discuss options about what can be done in the future by their replacements.

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u/vertiana 14d ago

Don't forget to add that it's on a historical registry so not only do you have to do historical maintenance and restoration, you're not going to be making any modifications it didn't already have in 1920s plus any other restrictions.

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u/Loken89 14d ago

Oof, that means repair and maintenance have to be done in accordance with historical structures, doesn’t it? So it’s not like 99% of people are gonna be doing the work themselves. The upkeep is gonna be way more expensive than the actual lighthouse.

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u/Ikeiscurvy 13d ago

Oof, that means repair and maintenance have to be done in accordance with historical structures, doesn’t it?

Depends on local laws, but generally the laws in the US are much less strict than what you'd find in Europe.

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u/UncleVoodooo 14d ago

Raytheon didnt bid on it

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u/cheebamech 14d ago

cannot spend even a single overnight there unless you're performing maintenance

"sorry Navy, but this is a huge job restoring this platform; I'll probably be here for the next 1,825 days"

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u/critterfluffy 14d ago

And I would wager if the navy damages something you will be legally obligated to repair it.

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u/TrumpGrabbedMyCat 14d ago

The thinking was that maybe a nonprofit group could step in to do the job, but there were no takers.

Maybe they forgot about the supposed to be biggest nonprofit of all, the government. Instead of wasting some groups other resources.

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u/megamanxoxo 14d ago

"I have altered the deal, pray I don't alter it further"

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u/menlindorn 14d ago

"you will also wear this tutu"

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u/Interesting-Dream863 14d ago

Use them as target practice.

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u/SquanchMcSquanchFace 14d ago

I think you’d only get one hit before you’ve lost your target

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u/saltinstiens_monster 14d ago

What... are you shooting targets with?

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u/ThatDinosaucerLife 14d ago

Most "lighthouses" In the US are just automated towers with a light affixed on top. There is no maintenance, really. And they don't have the infrastructure for humans to live in them. They just send someone out to check on it every once in a while.

It's been this way since the 1970s. Nobody has lived in a lighthouse for nearly 70 years in the US.

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u/halborn 14d ago

Nobody has lived in a lighthouse for nearly 70 years in the US.

But it's not too late to change that!

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u/Forever_Pancakes 14d ago

Be the change you want to see in the world!

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u/ryobiguy 14d ago

Two quarters, a nickel, and a dime.

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u/Trust-Me-Im-A-Potato 14d ago

But the 70s were only 30 years ag....oh...oh no

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u/madarbrab 14d ago

It's been longer from now to when that 70s show debuted, than from it's debut to the time it portrayed

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u/Redditisfullofliars 14d ago

Nobody has lived in a lighthouse for nearly 70 years in the US.

Don’t you remember Anchorman 2?

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u/GayForPrism 14d ago

It's been this way since the 1970s. Nobody has lived in a lighthouse for nearly 70 years in the US.

If you read the article actually it says some of them have been converted to private residences, so it's possible, if uncommon.

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u/JackInTheBell 14d ago

And they don't have the infrastructure for humans to live in them.

Why the f is it called a lightHOUSE then?

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u/Lower_Ad_5532 14d ago

It houses the light.

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u/bradorsomething 14d ago

You’re probably thinking of a lighthome.

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u/Youcantshakeme 14d ago

Because it is not an unhoused light

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u/Dozzi92 14d ago

Well the housing crisis is in full bloom, and job crisis surely abound. This can be a twofold benefit.

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u/DeathMetal007 14d ago

Worst HOA ever

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u/JoviAMP 14d ago

Sounds more like a timeshare. No wonder nobody is interested.

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u/Lietenantdan 14d ago

Even worse. At least you can stay at time shares and they have stuff like restaurants

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u/_Heath 14d ago

Imagine your HOA having the largest fleet by tonnage, cruise missiles, and the worlds second largest Air Force.

“Your shed isn’t the same color as your house. You have 48 hours to remediate before we launch an air strike and level it with a 500 pound JDAM. Thanks, Admiral Karen.

PS - HOA dues are due Oct 1st. Guantanamo still has space, make sure you aren’t late”.

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u/hornyaustinite 14d ago

Even worse, you have to sit and listen to the keeper's horrible screen play...

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u/itwasmayham 14d ago

Just because you hate your own writing doesn’t make me a bad person!!

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u/Buster_Cherry88 14d ago

I'd rather that than listen to Willem Dafoe violently shit his pants all the time.

HAAAAAARK!

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u/ismashugood 14d ago

Holy shit what an absolute terrible deal lol.

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u/mcobb71 14d ago

That’ll be great gag purchase for my next white elephant gift party!

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u/AbeLincolns_Ghost 14d ago

It’s actually a perfect white elephant in the origin meaning of the phrase

A white elephant is a possession that its owner cannot dispose of, and whose cost, particularly that of maintenance, is out of proportion to its usefulness.

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u/Big_Ole_Smoke 14d ago

I love this. Really explains why I got a damn fish last time

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u/woodiegutheryghost 14d ago

I just want to see people keep regifting it so they don’t have to maintain it. It’s like the std ghost from It Follows.

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u/possibly-not-a-robot 14d ago edited 13d ago

Y’all I looked it up and that sucker sold for 192k!!!

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u/bluemooncalhoun 14d ago

I guess that one falls into a weird area since it's not on land, it's essentially a navel installation.

In my experience with government asset sales, the pricing for these assets does not usually reflect practical considerations and is often based on the strict value of the asset. Highways are a good example of this; they require a significant amount of work to build and provide economic value by helping move goods. As such, if you were looking at buying a section of highway from the government you would expect to pay upwards of a few million dollars per mile depending on location and supporting infrastructure. However, highways cost a lot of money to maintain so there is rarely a practical reason to ever buy one, so the government will happily continue to keep paying maintenance to avoid losing out on an asset.

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u/piscian19 14d ago

I like the idea that they'd come out and check on you..."sure is a lot Dorito crumbs I see here. You say youre using this for storage huh? Interesting that laundry is just sorta strewn about it. Im not sure the guide lamp is an appropriate place to hang your bras....hmm".

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u/KryptoFreak405 14d ago

I used to collect lighthouses as a kid, this would be the most perfect way to complete that collection.

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u/DefiantLemur 14d ago

I can just image it. You open the door to the stairwell in the tower section and the wall is lined with shelves that have tiny lighthouses on them all the way up.

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u/KryptoFreak405 14d ago

It’s 7 year old me’s literal dream come true

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u/knows_knothing 14d ago

Light house museum, don’t let your dream be a dream

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u/spiralbatross 13d ago

“There's a picture opposite me

Of my primitive ancestry

Which stood on rocky shores

And kept the beaches shipwreck-free

Though I respect that a lot

I'd be fired if that were my job

After killing Jason off

And countless screaming Argonauts”

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u/Brainrants 13d ago

Think I need to dig out this CD…

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u/Lanark26 13d ago

Do it.

It doesn't really seem to age.

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u/bradorsomething 14d ago All-Seeing Upvote

I would nope out of this lighthouse so fast - I watch movies, I know where this is going.

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u/DefiantLemur 14d ago

The light source up top is actually the glow from a portal to hell powered by sacrificed curious visitors.

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u/aflockofcrows 14d ago

Willem Dafoe farting?

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u/Talks_To_Cats 14d ago

You nope out of the lighthouse immediately, only to find yourself at an oddly flat cliffside. As your eyes adjust to the lighting you realize in horror that the cliff is not a cliff, but a shelf. You're not outside, you're inside a giant, spiraling hallway many times larger than you. Around you are other shelves, with other lighthouses on them.

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u/Sorinari 14d ago

You may or may not enjoy this fun song. It's been a fav of mine since high school and is one of the first things I think of when people infer creepy on a lighthouse.

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u/Buster_Bluth__ 14d ago

I don't even know where he lives.

Buster: He doesn't live at Michael's?

Tobias: I've always pictured him in a lighthouse.

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u/DefiledDemon 14d ago

Same here, except they were all lost in a move :(

I have visited almost every lighthouse on the southern half of the East Coast and Great Lakes....I had so many lighthouse figures. There was a lighthouse for sale in the Michigan UP that already had its keeper's house remodeled and ready to move into. I believe it was used for an Adult Swim sketch as well. But it sold recently.

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u/hmiser 14d ago

I still collect them because lighthouses rule.

We should form a collective and collect all the big free ones together :-)

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u/Atotallyrandomname 14d ago

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u/BayouGal 14d ago

You’re not even getting the lighthouse. The Coast Guard continues to own it. I guess they want for someone to pay them thousands for the privilege of…maintenance? 🤷🏻‍♀️ 100% sus

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u/[deleted] 14d ago edited 4d ago

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u/grapefruit_witchh 13d ago

There is a really cool lighthouse on Monhegan Island in Maine that they use for an art gallery and museum. Afaik it's owned by the lifers on the island and they maintain it. They get some money via donations and such but they keep it maintained just because it's really cool.

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u/cuddlefucker 13d ago

I feel like it's worth maintaining the aesthetics and history of them. I'll have to look up of there's one nearby the next time I'm near the coast to see. I'd love to catch some history and throw some money their way

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u/SlightlyAlmighty 13d ago

I see a lot of people here complaining that they want to live in a (governmental?) building that might still be operational and here you are providing a realistic view.

Thank you!

I was starting to believe I am the only one thinking "hey, it would be pretty cool to live inside a police station, now that there's Robocop around, but that's how it works".

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u/EverettWAPerson 13d ago

I don't know about how it works currently but back in the 90's you could volunteer to stay at Dungeness Spit Lighthouse for a weekend in exchange for completing certain chores, like mowing the lawn and whatever. I wanted to do it but there was a waiting list about a year out.

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u/onlyacynicalman 14d ago

Those are opening bids. The auction hasnt started yet.

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u/SincereChimichanga 13d ago

Trust fund youtubers ready to make content "YOU WONT BELIEVE WHAT WE FOUND IN THIS LIGHTHOUSE"

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u/Hamburger123445 14d ago

Tbh if I was a multi-millionaire i would consider getting a cool little house off the coast and renovating it for me to drive my yacht to.

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u/StandardSudden1283 13d ago

Many are historical, can't renovate. You're paying only for the "privilege" of doing maintenance. So maybe "Yeah I pay the coast guard for the privilege to pay some people to go upkeep the historical lighthouse. I'm pretty cool, right?"

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u/Vaulters 14d ago

Canada did that like fifteen years ago. You could get a lighthouse pretty near free, but you had to take on the upkeep of the lighthouse, specifically the light (They were obsolete from a commercial perspective but still found to be useful to prevent more minor groundings, plus communities tended to get upset when you shutdown their lighthouse).

I remember we talked about getting a nearby one and setting it up as the college bar run by the students, but it was a bigger project than we could take on at the time.

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u/notalaborlawyer 14d ago

college bar run by the students

I don't think the lighthouse was the fatal flaw in that plan.

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u/Vaulters 14d ago

The student body were the executive members of a not-for-profit organisation that operated the campus bar. It was staffed seven days a week by smartserve trained students, held the liquor license for the property and hosted the events. They had AGMs and paid their taxes, had credit and debit machines and corporate bank accounts.

The fatal flaw was that it was off campus. This would massively reduce patronage, so really it'd have to be a one-two night a week bar. You could hype it up with live music and late afternoon BBQs and a lighthouse sundown lighting countdown. But we were in our final year, and really starting to look outward.

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u/notalaborlawyer 14d ago

It was a joke. That is impressive. I know college (heck, high school) kids are completely capable of running a business and being responsible. It is just a laughable statement read without context.

I lived in a massive college house that had a bar. Not a fraternity. Just the 7 of us. But, an actual L-shaped bar, two fridges, one tap, liquor, etc. My brother (2 years younger) and his friends, my other roommates brother (1 year), and other's sister (2 years) friends were always welcome anytime, all the time.

We had an honor system with a box for paying for booze. We never had less than needed to re-up. It isn't all animal house, but the stereotype stays.

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u/a11311 14d ago

Stanley Hudson has entered the chat.

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u/soilhalo_27 14d ago

And you youngsters thought you could never own a home. The government is selling old light houses.

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u/keenanpepper 14d ago

You're not allowed to live in it tho

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u/BoofPooop 13d ago

I'm not allowed to speed on the highway either.

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u/totamdu 13d ago

Right! I'm just perpetually maintaining it.

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u/karma-armageddon 14d ago

Gonna wish we had these lighthouses in 2025

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u/UoFSlim 14d ago

Wh…what happens in 2025?!

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u/Oupzzy 14d ago

The fog is coming

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u/confidentlybadbotbot 14d ago

You don't know?!?! Oh man are you in for a surprise in 2025.

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u/TheConnASSeur 14d ago Take My Energy

He doesn't know about the new rules put in place at the midnight hour by the Trump administrating to "secure our coasts against illegal crossing." Motherfucker wrote 64 new guidelines for coastal structures that applies to all structures within 20 miles of any coastal water. They do some pretty crazy shit that will have far reaching consequences for a lot of industries. The most egregious of which is set to trigger in Jan 1, 2025. It's too much to list here, but just Google "Donald Trump rule 34."

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u/BooRadleysreddit 14d ago

Motherfucker almost got me

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u/WINSTON913 14d ago

Champion troll

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u/mab6710 14d ago

It's true guys, I just looked up 'Donald Trump rule 34' . Truly disgusting.

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u/LubbockIsAwesome_JK 14d ago

Lmao this sounded like one of those "stupid enough to be plausible" things until I hit the end.

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u/caskaziom 13d ago

Except for the whole "trump writing" thing

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u/willyougiveittome 14d ago

Not gonna lie, you had me in the first half.

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u/Hippieleo2013 14d ago

Had me in the first half.

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u/KindProtectionGirl 13d ago

Man you almost had me till the end, nice job

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u/EraTheTooketh 14d ago

What are you planning

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u/SovFist 14d ago

I've seen Annihilation, no thanks

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u/KuraiTheBaka 14d ago

I've seen the Lighthouse

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u/CurseofLono88 13d ago

That movie is exactly why I want to live in a lighthouse

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u/KuraiTheBaka 13d ago

Yeah sexy mermaids do be tempting

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u/Catwearingtrousers 14d ago

I want one

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u/Miss-Figgy 14d ago

Me too. It's my ultimate fantasy to live in one.

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u/yrdsl 14d ago

not the same thing exactly but several National Forests still seasonally staff mountaintop lookout towers for wildfires, you might consider trying to get one of those gigs sometime.

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u/WhiteyFiskk 14d ago

It was always my dream to live in a decommissioned lighthouse. And nobody knows that I live there. And at the top of the lighthouse there's a button I can press that sends the lighthouse into space

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u/LagAmplifier 14d ago

The big things to be mindful of is these things are old. So they are filled with lead, asbestos and other things you don’t want to mess with. Cleaning them up can be very expensive.

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u/Faelwolf 14d ago

They could be converted to LED + solar and practically run themselves. Remember that many of these started with whale oil lamps, using a Fresnel lens, the light source does not need to be all that bright for them to work. (And modern LED lights are brighter than a whale oil lamp by a considerable multiple) Not using these as a backup is foolish, and many people still use lights at night as a navigation source, even in this age of GPS. But when have we ever accused the US government of being smart?

As mentioned above, even in these days of GPS many people still rely on lighthouses and shore light at night to avoid collisions and grounding. Many small craft are not equipped with GPS, and even large craft with all the latest equipment still need to sail by sight as a final safety measure. Bad things can happen when they don't; Costa Concordia, anyone? Exxon Valdez?

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u/ThatDinosaucerLife 14d ago

They could be converted to LED +

They are. They've been maintaining and upgrading these for decades. There isn't like, an old man spinning a light bulb up there or some shit. There hasn't been a need for humans to be on site for operating a lighthouse in the US since the 1970s.

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u/TriAnkylosaur 14d ago

There isn't like, an old man spinning a light bulb up there

Why not? :(

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u/UKSubs47 13d ago

Right?

I'll be that old guy! I'll get a scraggly beard like Thomas Wake & complain about me bum knee & how I let 13 Christmases pass while my wife longed for my company & eventually left me & make up story's about being a sailor at sea & curse people for not loving me lobster cookin' & make sweat love to sea monsters & keep tellin' old Sailors tales of the sea & it's CURSES &...

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u/Cantusemynme 14d ago

It really does seem that they are a great redundancy system.

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u/SplooshU 14d ago

Perish the thought that the government should invest in redundancy and not put all their eggs in the cheapest basket.

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u/HotConcrete 14d ago

The Soviet Union had atomic lighthouses at one point to reduce the need for upkeep.

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u/Vectorman1989 14d ago

Yes, and then the Soviet Union collapsed and a lot of those power sources went walkies

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u/agoia 14d ago

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u/Bobert_Manderson 14d ago edited 14d ago

They drove up a nearly impassable road in snowy winter weather, and discovered two canisters at around 6 pm. Around the canisters there was no snow for about a 1 m (3.3 ft) radius, and the ground was steaming. Patient 3-MB picked up one of the canisters and immediately dropped it, as it was very hot. Deciding that it was too late to drive back, and realizing the apparent utility of the devices as heat sources, the men decided to move the sources a short distance and make camp around them. Patient 3-MB used a stout wire to pick up one source and carried it to a rocky outcrop that would provide shelter. The other patients lit a fire, and then patients 3-MB and 2-MG worked together to move the other source under the outcrop. They ate dinner and had a small amount of vodka, while remaining close to the sources. Despite the small amount of alcohol, they all vomited soon after consuming it, the first sign of acute radiation syndrome (ARS), about three hours after first exposure. Vomiting was severe and lasted through the night, leading to little sleep. The men used the sources to keep them warm through the night, positioning them against their backs, and as close as 10 cm (3.9 in). The next day, the sources may have been hung from the backs of Patient 1-DN and 2-MG as they loaded wood onto their truck. They felt very exhausted in the morning and only loaded half the wood they intended. They returned home that evening.

Lmao they used them as heaters all night. Poor guys.

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u/RepeatedSignals 13d ago

Reads like scp foundation.

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u/teggchagg 13d ago

There's a pdf floating round of the investigation into the incident, recovery of the sources and the medical care of the patients. The photos of the men's burns and necrotizing wounds despite ongoing treatment are fucking revolting

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u/LagAmplifier 14d ago

The Coast Guard experiment with an atomic power lighted buoy. It was used in the early 60’s outside Baltimore.

https://www.usni.org/magazines/naval-history-magazine/2020/august/atomic-buoy-experiment

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u/big_duo3674 14d ago

And then people found the abandoned radioactive sources and slept with them for warmth! (This worked out exactly as well as you'd think it would)

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u/Matryoshkova 14d ago

The lighthouse on the Isles of Shoals has been automated for many years, my dad was part of the last crew of keepers in the late 1980s.

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u/platonicgryphon 14d ago

And while the Coast Guard often maintains aids to navigation at or near lighthouses, the structures themselves are often no longer mission critical.

This year, six lighthouses are being offered at no cost to federal, state or local government agencies, non-profits, educational organizations or other entities that are willing to maintain and preserve them and make them publicly available for educational, recreational or cultural purposes.

It's not like they are getting torn down. The coast guard has other tools so no longer needs them and is offering them up for people to preserve them.

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u/Alldamage 14d ago

Hey there. I was in charge of lighthouses on the Maine coastline for the Coast Guard about a decade ago. This isn’t really new. The CG has been selling off the lighthouse structures for decades. When I was servicing the lights, CG only owned 4 of the 29 in our area.

The deal is that when the lighthouse is sold, the CG retains access to service the light and sound signal. So we would work with the owners, usually a non-profit or local municipality, in regards to scheduling maintenance visits and any structural repairs that needed to be made. CG only maintains the light, sound signal, and electronics that control them.

I saw someone post about solarizing and LED lights and that has also been happening over the past 15-20 years.

The lights are still needed because not everyone relies solely on their chart plotter screen to navigate. It does help to actually look around

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u/algeoMA 14d ago

Alright guys let’s all buy one and paint it flesh-colored or find other ways to abuse it.

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u/SailboatAB 14d ago

And put two little domes at the base?

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u/Lincoln_Park_Pirate 14d ago

It's not the size of the lighthouse, it's the motion near the ocean.

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u/Scarbane 14d ago

Solid as a rock!

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u/doubled2319888 14d ago

Maybe put some nice shrubbery around the base

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u/1959Chicagoan 14d ago

Not too much though...just a little patch.

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u/Task_wizard 14d ago edited 14d ago

If someone buys a lighthouse they are clearly rich. So obviously it needs a little landing strip above it.

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u/dvdmaven 14d ago

National Treasures that you will maintain to whatever standard we demand. Am I right?

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u/ADistractingBox 14d ago

HAAAARK!

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u/ecurrent94 13d ago

But yer fond of me lobster, ain’t ya?

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u/jkswede 14d ago

Hate to say it but it is a bit shortsighted to think GPS will function indefinitely. Tiny global kerfuffle could get them all knocked down.

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u/Gostaverling 14d ago

These are not being decommissioned fully for private use. They mention in the article they are being transferred to maintaining organizations for educational use. Should the need arise, they could be still used.

This year, six lighthouses are being offered at no cost to federal, state or local government agencies, nonprofits, educational organizations or other entities that are willing to maintain and preserve them and make them publicly available for educational, recreational or cultural purposes.

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u/helium_farts 14d ago edited 13d ago

If there's a kerfuffle significant enough to knock every gps satellite out of orbit I think night time ship navigation will be near the bottom of our concerns.

Edit: goddamn, didn't know lighthouses were so controversial. Heaven help us if the government ever offloads some candles or horse drawn carriages.

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u/MikuEmpowered 14d ago

I mean, there's a reason dead reckoning and celestial navigation are still being taught despite not being used.

Even on military vessels, one of the questions is: what happens if we get hit by EMP?

Equipment fails, and even with all the GPS satellite working, if your gps onboard dies, you better know a manual way to navigate.

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u/Navydevildoc 14d ago

Fun fact, the US Navy actually stopped teaching celnav a while back before someone pointed out that was an incredibly bad idea.

They brought in folks from the Merchant Mariner academy to get the courses back up and running again because they never stopped teaching it.

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u/minion_is_here 14d ago

Ships have been the backbone of transportation and logistics for over 3,000 years. If a conflict started that got enough GPS sats disabled to where GPS wasn't reliable, then we'd rely on ships at least the same if not even more. Planes also rely on GPS and are much more expensive to operate than ships. Also, light houses are more for protection from shore and rocks than trans-oceanic navigation.

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u/override367 14d ago

dont need to knock every one out to degrade accuracy

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u/FlipskiZ 14d ago

No, but it needs to knock out multiple. There is some amount of redundancy built in.

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u/SportulaVeritatis 14d ago

Don't even need to knock out any to jam a signal.

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u/budgreenbud 14d ago

Or just a single ship with hardware issues.

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u/diacewrb 14d ago

Just like in Tomorrow Never Dies.

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u/SXOSXO 14d ago

I'm already picturing the next disaster movie where the protagonists getting to the old lighthouse to turn it back on is a major story point. And they gotta find the old lighthouse keeper and get him out of retirement to do so.

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u/wanszai 14d ago Heartwarming

The Royal Navy is already testing a prototype "Quantum Sensor". It doesnt rely on satellites or other external devices that can be manipulated and is said to be far more accurate than GPS.

https://www.imperial.ac.uk/news/245114/quantum-sensor-future-navigation-system-tested/

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u/ptwonline 14d ago

Somebody somewhere is firing up an AI chatbot to write a movie script about a decommissioned lighthouse run by some weird but surprisingly sexy man who may or may not look exactly like Gerard Butler.

Some kind of solar storms makes GPS systems fail across the globe, and only his lighthouse and knowledge of other old-time lighthouse keepers can save the day from some kind of disaster. The US govt sends an also surprisingly sexy woman in charge of managing this crisis to work with this guy to solve it.

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u/AvariceLegion 14d ago

So to hell with redundancy

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u/OozeNAahz 14d ago

GPS is already a redundancy for LORAN. So they still have redundancy.

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u/AvariceLegion 14d ago

Every time i watch documentaries dissecting ship related catastrophes, it's usually human errors that managed to blow past every safeguard

Unless they just weren't suited for the purpose, i can't imagine how it hurts to have as many layers of redundancy for ship guidance, especially when they've proven to work

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u/OozeNAahz 14d ago

I don’t disagree. Just pointing out this wouldn’t mean GPS was only option.

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u/MrElendig 14d ago

Loran is turned off in most of the world

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u/Zakluor 14d ago

More like the other way around. LORAN sites around the world, but not in every jurisdiction, have been shut down. eLoran is a newer development that is intended as a backup to GPS.

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u/aBoyandHisVacuum 14d ago

I hate stairs. Could you imagine 65 stairs just to get to bed everyday. Nah

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u/doubled2319888 14d ago

Well i could definitely stand to lose a few pounds so this might not be a bad idea

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u/Scarbane 14d ago

Might lose your mind, too!

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u/varangian_guards 14d ago

i mean you putting your bed where the giant light is? cool view but maybe extra bed room.

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