r/nottheonion 13d ago Helpful 1 Wholesome 1

CIA Launches First Podcast, ‘The Langley Files,’ Which Reveals That Working at the Agency Is More Boring Than Hollywood Makes It Seem

https://variety.com/2022/digital/news/cia-first-podcast-langley-files-1235381103/
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u/MrHedgehogMan 13d ago

But is it sponsored by Squarespace and Manscaped?

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u/ThymeCypher 13d ago

It’s sponsored by them and every other business and citizen that pays taxes!

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u/ShoddyJuggernaut975 13d ago

No surprise there. Every business has a few "glamorous" jobs and a boatload of boring everyday stuff. There's a guy or gal who works for the CIA that does stuff like order office supplies.

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u/shogi_x 13d ago

Exactly. There's probably an element of manipulation going on here, but it's definitely still true that most of their jobs are dull.

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u/Cpt_plainguy 13d ago

Can confirm, the vast majority of CIA employees are analysts who do nothing but comb through data and intelligence from around the world depending on thier language expertise. It's definitely not all behind enemy lines style field work like movies would have people believe

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u/hypnos_surf 13d ago LOVE!

The reality actually sounds like a ot of fun.

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u/beatenmeat 13d ago

It only sounds fun until you realize you’ll be going through some of the most boring “intelligence” to exist. A lot of it is completely useless, so you’ll spend time having to read through some rather pointless crap to get to something useful, then likely copy/paste said info into a form and call it a day. If you’re REALLY lucky and find something juicy you may even get to make a death by PowerPoint presentation where you can then explain it to a bunch of people who either don’t truly understand what you briefed them on or kill them with boredom by then end.

That’s how 99% of your days will be as an analyst.

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u/terminalmemelocity 13d ago Eureka!

I'm in. Reading useless non important stuff that doesn't do anything and then presenting it to people who are even less interested in what I have to say is 100% what I do on reddit.

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u/port53 13d ago

/r/consulting is leaking :)

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u/terminalmemelocity 13d ago edited 13d ago

Holy crap that sub is bleek.

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u/HamPotatoe 13d ago

There used to be a lot of "can't believe I make $X to do this" posts like early 2016, then the sub became super bleak as people seemed to realize they had no job security unless they did like 5 people's jobs and then we're criminally underpaid. That might be my own biases coming out

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u/RimeSkeem 12d ago

Huh sounds like teaching… or just far too many modern jobs :/

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u/TurelSun 13d ago

Is that you Colin Robinson?

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u/moralprolapse 13d ago

Well the difference is that you don’t get to pick the useless stuff you read and talk about. It’s picked for you.

One the the reasons I went to law school was because I thought I loved arguing. Turns out, I only love arguing about stuff I find interesting.

Wana talk about whether or not Eminem is overrated as a lyricist? Let’s go!

Wana argue about how important the difference is between ‘shall’ and ‘may’ in a regulation about filing deadlines?

I want a do-over on career choice.

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u/terminalmemelocity 12d ago

That was a huge awakening for me too. I thought I was smart until I went to university and realized I only liked diving into topics I liked. I didn't enjoy learning as much as I enjoyed half assed browsing websites online in my free time.

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u/cockOfGibraltar 13d ago

Imagine they find a terrorists hardrive and he's a huge fan and writer of erotic fanfic. Someone has to sift through it all.

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u/Unsd 13d ago

That happens and is extensively documented. OBL had a treasure trove of porn. And Disney movies.

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u/BigTentBiden 13d ago

I'm game. I miss being in school.

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u/beatenmeat 13d ago edited 13d ago

I mean some people enjoy it. I enjoyed parts of it, but I was a special case where I lucked out and got to do things most of my peers didn’t. Unfortunately I found when my luck ran out that I didn’t so much enjoy the regular stuff that is generally what the rest of the analysts did. It is some of the most kind numbing and repetitive stuff you can do, but there were a few guys and girls I worked with that enjoyed it. To each their own, but that part definitely wasn’t for me.

Ninja edit: to clarify how boring it can be, years and years ago one of people I worked with wrote a script that could literally shit out the daily report for us in a few moments. You’d then look over the doc and tweak it for corrections and be done with it. Normally that report would take you a couple hours of manual searching and copy/pasting. They offered to buy said script off the dude but absolutely lowballed the fuck out of him, so obviously he didn’t sell it. Instead when he wouldn’t sell they just blacklisted use of the script…something that saved countless manhours because they wanted to be cheap fucks about it.

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u/waitthissucks 13d ago

What the fuck? They blacklisted a script that made everything more efficient? Sounds like a horrible decision by someone. What idiots.

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u/SJane3384 13d ago

Welcome to the federal government lol

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u/nookie-monster 13d ago

As someone who worked in the private sector for 20+ years (before becoming self employed), let me assure you: this phenomena isn't restricted to government. The idea that corporations are smooth and efficient and government is big and dumb is as wrong as it can get.

I've seen this kind of behavior at almost every company I worked for.

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u/Fluffy_Palpitation31 13d ago

Hey now! Your local government is just as bad, only on a smaller scale.

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u/fattynuggetz 13d ago

Many people in the govt justify funding by talking about how many employees they have.

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u/highfivingmf 13d ago

Yeah and all the agencies are absolutely chock full of power hungry social climbers who don't give a fuck about anything but control and their own image

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u/BigTentBiden 13d ago

I'd probably be the ones who enjoy it. I like boring. Part of why I enjoyed security guard work.

Nice and boring.

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u/ThrowawayTwatVictim 13d ago

I always heard security was boring 'until it wasn't'

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u/BigTentBiden 13d ago

Depends on the site, I suppose. Because the security guard is likely responsible for emergency stuff like medical (CPR), if there's a system you have to operate in case of dangerous weather, that sorta thing.

I should also note that HOSPITAL security guard work is a different ball game. Because hospitals are pretty crazy.

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u/ItsJustAnAdFor 13d ago

This story is hard to believe. If you invent something at work you don’t have the choice to sell it; the company or agency owns it because that’s why they pay you.

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u/Pale_Sock_7815 13d ago

Also, “script” usually describes a simple program and what’s being described doesn’t sound insanely complicated or proprietary. Hard to imagine a run-of-the-mill script having enough value to justify price negotiations with a federal agency.

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u/jab116 13d ago

This guy is full of shit. You’re right to call bs.

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u/SarcasticOptimist 13d ago

Basically doc review for attorneys. If there's a smoking gun or juicy evidence it's buried in paperwork.

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u/crnelson10 13d ago

This guy ICs.

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u/scarlettvvitch 13d ago

I worked for an archive for 2 years and I gotta tell you it has been the funnest job ever. Me, paperwork, photos and my headphones.

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u/Glittering_Emu3124 13d ago

Can’t wait for the episode on Chile and Allende

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u/Cook__Pass_Babtridge 13d ago

Or DRC and Patrice Lumumba.

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u/Both_Philosophy2507 13d ago

Or trafficking sweet sweet cocaine

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u/hyperbolichamber 13d ago

I can’t think of anything more boring than trading weapons and cocaine to overthrow governments and install fascist regimes.

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u/LBraden 13d ago

Aye, I worked security at an archive warehouse for about 8 months before I got moved to a busy home furnishings warehouse for 3 weeks before it unexpectedly closed (bankruptcy) and the landlords reverted to their own security company.

Best security job I had as 90% of it was sat in the CCTV office with music on and occasionally dealing with visitors.

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u/I0A0I 13d ago

Have so many sites I've just been playing my Steam Deck at. Most don't care because it keeps the guard awake.

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u/LBraden 13d ago

Aye, that one and my first site I was at for several years didn't mind me with my laptop at gatehouse or in CCTV "when site is closed" as I was actually the least distracted of the guards when on it.

That and I was always the most filled DOR of the shifts with any real issues that cropped up, and the "End of Shift Paperwork" sheet listed the lesser issues like "Fox set off Fence Alarm at 23:20, 00:52, 04:00" things.

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u/nashbrownies 13d ago

Yeah we have to have a guard posted outside when external companies are working on premises. We set them up with their own table, a power strip, a big outdoor heater. A lot of them just chill out with a laptop all day, no one cares if they are always on point. One dude is always playing some version of Civilization

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u/GetYourVax 13d ago

Three Days of the Condor, you'll love it.

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u/Breakfest-burrito 13d ago

I actually have a CIA recruiters card from when I was approached to work for them after Afghanistan. I like telling people that story because it's such a "cool guy" thing to say but I always end it by admitting I would never in a million years be an actual cool guy, they were just recruiting a bunch of people who worked with them previously/had security clearance. Supposedly one of the guys we knew ended up working logistics while we were standing up africom, so pretty boring shit tbh. I wasn't built to be behind a desk, I'd rather work in construction than be an analyst lmao fuck that jazz

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u/Drunk_Henri 13d ago

But their predecessor OSS did some exciting tasks and jobs during WW2. Infiltrating Norwegian experiments under nazi occupation and doing destabilization operations in North Africa

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u/hackingdreams 13d ago

Even the OSS had hundreds and hundreds of people whose job it was to sit in an office and collate information from the field.

It's rare we ever see the truth of intelligence - it's a lot of collecting paperwork and looking for patterns, things people are trying to hide.

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u/wienercat 13d ago

Any job where data is the basis of decisions, there is an office of office peons crunching data and analyzing results.

It's the reality of any job. Most of the "fun" work is backed by a ton of boring appearing work.

But a CIA Analyst working in an office combing through hundreds of files of intelligence or big data to get actionable intelligence is rarely exciting or sexy. It's nerds, doing what they do best... nerd shit.

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u/ThePrussianGrippe 13d ago

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy comes to mind.

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u/pasher5620 13d ago

Wasn’t the OSS even worse than the CIA and full of corruption and nepotism? Like, the CIA is awful but the OSS was exactly the same it was just even more of a social elite boys club.

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u/davtruss 13d ago

What they fail to mention is that "analysts" are just like employees in other major corporations, the cream tends to rise to the top, unless the truth is inconvenient.

Then there are case officers, or "desk jockeys." But those are the folks who handle the assistant cultural attache at the Moscow Embassy.

And sure, the special operators must be very good at their jobs. They are often former Seals, Green Berets, Army Rangers, etc. And occasionally they are trained from the ground up while being made to look like accountants or FBI. :)

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u/SaltyBarDog 13d ago

Hoover was big on hiring accountants into the FBI. Something about the meticulous attention to detail or some shit. Wife's uncle got an accounting degree and then became field agent. Nice enough guy but he was about as bland as Wonder bread.

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u/davtruss 13d ago

This makes sense, because I suspect Hoover understood the concept of "follow the money."

And when not doing that, "follow the prostitutes."

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u/grok_star2343 13d ago

I attended some open recruitment events for the CIA when I was in college, and this is pretty much exactly how they put it. 95% of CIA work is done behind a desk. If you want to be Jason Bourne, join the Special Forces.

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u/Rexel-Dervent 13d ago

As a librarian I can imagine how well a trained Combat Diver would maintain and safely update the 9000 page "Chinese Agents, Known Aliases of" file.

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u/pepesilvia_esq 13d ago

It’s why mi6 stopped at 007. Only 7 of them get fun work. The rest is all paperwork

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u/hebdomad7 13d ago

008 and 009 would disagree.

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u/effa94 13d ago

Aren't those the ones who die in every movie they are in? Sounds like a shitty job

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u/BadBoyFTW 13d ago

For England, James?

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u/YanniBonYont 13d ago

Trading cocaine for political hits. Murdering govt officials in the 3rd world. You know, fun at work

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u/Legal-Software 13d ago

It's easy to have fun at work when there are no consequences for your actions.

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u/cgn-38 13d ago

A huge percentage of guys in high security are friggin mormons because everyone else does drugs.

The guys in the field? I never met a mormon. Two different groups.

Dull is part of the religion with those guys. They have an ongoing battle against masterbation to win. The cold war was secondary.

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u/DEWOuch 13d ago

The Secret Service also employs an inordinate number of Mormons. They like obedience and abstinence.

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u/drewkungfu 13d ago

Supposedly the FBI too. Though it is a fact that an large portion comes from Texas A&M too. (Their current? president formerly work high in the fbi)

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u/GarfieldTrout 13d ago

They must have not been invited on that Colombia trip

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u/OpSecBestSex 13d ago

God can't see them outside the US

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u/Yancy_Farnesworth 13d ago

God can't see them in Utah either given the scandals coming out of the Mormon church.

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u/sploding_burnout 13d ago

It actually kind of comes down to how Mormons don't take field work roles.

According to Bill Gage (USSS Counter Assault Team) the Colombia agents were a mix of CAT and field guys, very little in common with the type of jobs the super religious ones go into.

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u/Lady_DreadStar 13d ago edited 13d ago

Former Mormon here who has gone through the federal law enforcement process: It’s mainly a security clearance thing.

A ton of regular people, even though they themselves don’t do drugs or commit crimes, still associate with their felon relatives, or have trashy baby mamas/daddy’s who cause trouble and can’t stay out of jail, or don’t like paying their parking tickets.

It’s not that Mormons don’t do drugs, it’s that usually even 3-4 degrees of separation with Mormons has nothing but squeaky clean people. Everybody you know and everybody who knows everybody you know is straight laced and a safe bet.

Oh, and tons of economic privilege- generational wealth from negotiating control of their own state, bargain-basement cheap BYU tuition resulting in no student loans, being overwhelmingly blonde in a society that greatly favors and rewards that- play a huge part as well.

Probably the biggest purpose of a security clearance is making sure you’re immune to bribes.

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u/zimirken 13d ago

I always wondered why more people don't just take a bribe and then just not do what they asked you to. What are they gonna do, sue?

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u/Lady_DreadStar 13d ago edited 13d ago

Often, the people trying to bribe you are more than willing to ruin your life.

If they can show you accepted a bribe- your ass is toast even if you didn’t act on anything. It’s seen as a ‘you just haven’t acted on it… yet’.

And for Mormons, there is a lot of spiritual accountability at play too. They aren’t like Baptists who will commit a drive-by shooting, snort an 8-ball, then sit in the pews on Sunday like nothing happened because “God forgives”. 🤣

Mormons don’t ‘officially’ shun fuck ups like JWs- but they do effectively shun them. You wouldn’t want to be a Mormon who got caught accepting a bribe. Both God and everyone you know and love will be pissed at you.

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u/RamenJunkie 13d ago

At first I misread that as "morons".

Not to insult mormons, I just read it wrong.

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u/drengr84 13d ago

Forget logistics and support jobs. It's a lot more boring to be scouring thru thousand of hours of surveillance video, or searching thru years of paperwork and hard drives for evidence.

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u/finaljusticezero 13d ago Starstruck

puts on conspiracy theory hat

This is exactly what they want us to think. Can't fool me.

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u/ViolentSkyWizard 13d ago

I read this in Dale Gribbles voice.

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u/Zaptruder 13d ago

gets into CIA

"Awlright! The fun starts now!"

30 years later

"Y'know, a small part of me honestly thought that at some point I'd get called up to do the fun stuff."

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u/OuOutstanding 13d ago

You’d be surprised in how much paper work is involved in overthrowing democratically elected governments in order to protect corporate interests.

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u/[deleted] 13d ago

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u/EconomistTight9969 13d ago

Hahaha. You are incorrigible 😂😂😂😉

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u/MattieShoes 13d ago

And facilities guys who replace the lights in the ceiling, fix loose doorknobs, make sure the heating/AC is working, etc. And guys who replace keyboards when people spill coffee on them, or fix that jammed printer. There's probably a large number of janitorial staff emptying trash, vacuuming, cleaning toilets, polishing floors. And guys who are middle managers. And HR people who deal with the exact same bullshit as HR people everywhere. And guys who manage shipping and receiving packages, which are probably mostly computers and monitors and desks and chairs and stuff. And somebody must be taking care of the grounds -- tree trimming, bushes, sprinklers, etc. A bunch of accountants tracking finances...

And then there's the guys who probably technically do cool shit, but they're so insulated from the application of the cool shit that they're doing that they're just... writing code, setting up databases, attending meetings, writing emails, or other relatively mundane tasks.

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u/n00bst4 13d ago

John, can you order coffees and pizzas for the conf room 6 ? Please let me know when you're delivering it. Thanks John.

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u/EHnter 13d ago

Heyyy!! Purchasing happens to be a chill job. I mean at least I won't get shot. Idk why everyone gets a badge and ID though. I hope it doesn't complicate some things in the future.

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u/CurlSagan 13d ago

To be fair, working in Hollywood is also a lot more boring than Hollywood makes it seem.

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u/themeatbridge 13d ago edited 13d ago

All jobs suck. If they didn't, you wouldn't have to pay people to do them. Some jobs suck worse than others, and some jobs don't pay nearly what they are actually worth, but even your dream job has an aspect to it that would drive you crazy.

Edit to respond to everyone saying how much they love their jobs, that's not a rebuttal of what I said. I love my job, too. And if I didn't need money, I might still enjoy the work, but I would also spend more time fishing, volunteering at my kids' school, visiting with friends and family, working on home improvement projects, playing music, exercising, and video gaming. There might be a few people that would still do what they do without getting paid, but I guarantee nobody would do it as much, and there are parts of your job you wouldn't do if you didn't have to. Even if your job is to play with puppies all day, you still have to pick up shit sometimes.

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u/pictures_at_last 13d ago

“Everything looks interesting until you do it. Then you find it’s just another job. I bet even people like Cohen the Barbarian get up in the morning thinking, ‘Oh, no, not another day of crushing the jeweled thrones of the world beneath my sandalled feet.’”
― Terry Pratchett, Moving Pictures

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u/SilasX 13d ago

Cohen the barbarian? Like, he pauses the pillaging for Shabbat?

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u/ZarquonsFlatTire 13d ago

Troll Bridge with Cohen the barbarian.

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u/UhOhSparklepants 13d ago

If you’ve never read Terry Pratchet’s Discworld series I highly recommend it. Cohen the Barbarian is an elderly warrior character long past his heyday who still crushes his enemies, just with a little more geriatric flair.

The books are largely self contained and you can pretty much read them in any order, though there are recurring characters and continuing story arcs.

I’d recommend Mort, Guards! Guards!, Wyrd Sisters or Going Postal as good books to start with. I think there was a BBC movie of Going Postal made if books aren’t your scene. The BBC series/films are pretty close to the book and really capture the humor and magic of the series.

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u/Kirk_Kerman 13d ago

Cohen the Barbarian is a Discworld character. The Discworld series does a lot of parody of the fantasy genre as a whole, and Cohen is basically "what if Conan the barbarian lived to 97?". He's old and tired and unbelievably good at killing people because you don't get old in the barbarian game without being good at it. Laments about the world changing and there being a lack of snake temples bursting with gold and maidens to rescue, since he's one of the few to outlive the heroic age of the world.

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u/Devonance 13d ago

I work for NASA, my job doesn't suck. If I had enough money to live, I'd do it for free! (Don't tell them that, I like money).

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u/Cautemoc 13d ago

I'm also a software engineer and I absolutely despise writing test scripts. I don't know how you could enjoy it but I wish my company had someone who did so I didn't have to.

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u/KivogtaR 13d ago

I have a friend who is a database developer. I don't know much about it, but I assume it's the most boring job in the software world. He loves it. He's good at it. He's got titles and shit he's a "Senior Database Developer" now but instead of leading a team he just gets shuffled around fixing other teams issues and filling in when a lead is needed.

The guy makes bonkers money, he works from home, and he gets to pick his hours as long as his work is done on time. It's the benefits everyone dreams of.... but for an awful sounding job. He loves it though.

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u/riptidemm 13d ago

Anyone in IT that loves their job or has a high satisfaction tends to love solving puzzles. Also they may not talk to end users.

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u/rukisama85 13d ago

Not having to talk to end users is the holy grail of IT.

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u/fospher 13d ago

I’m going into this field and absolutely love it. I have caught myself solving work problems in my off hours and have had to force myself to rest and have fun to avoid accidentally doing unpaid work lmao. Good to hear this is boring and dumb for most otherwise I wouldn’t have a job!

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u/phd_depression101 13d ago

I used to write test scripts for a company as part of my internship, I found it quite entertaining but then again it was not what I would like to do for more than a few months :)

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u/PurryFury 13d ago

Sometimes i like writing tests. It's almost like a meditation for me. 2 hours of just writing cases and nothing else, at some point it becomes muscle memory and i relax.

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u/SaltyBarDog 13d ago

I did an internship at NASA writing software for test equipment. Not a lot of excitement but I didn't have people blaming me for launch failures.

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u/vagga2 13d ago

Maybe dislike but not drive crazy. I genuinely enjoy my main job (camp instructor), with all kinds of groups it’s always fun and challenging, not to mention a funny reminder every few minutes that kids are fucking stupid. Also my work in IT is only frustrating because obnoxious policies get in the way of improving systems, and my freelance web dev stuff is genuinely fun almost always (though all projects so far I have been given 100% freedom on). Especially typicality only doing 30 hours a week on any one of these adds enough variety to keep it constantly fun, new and challenging and if I had all expenses to live covered I’d do them for free.

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u/Dr_Does_Enough 13d ago

This is what i struggle to come to terms with. I'm about to be 30 and I've worked probably close to 20 or more different jobs. They all start out fun because I'm learning new things and meeting new people. But after a while I get tired of completing the same tasks over and over again, some people I work with start to annoy me, the pay ends up not being worth it.

For me, I've gained a new perspective towards people who have worked the same job 20, 30, 40 years. They have become master's and are disciplined enough to keep at it and retire from just doing that one job.

Now granted, some people are stuck and maybe feel they can't leave their job, or have commitments outside of their control. But again, for those who are able to stick with something for as long as I've been alive, I come to admire that strength.

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u/CjBoomstick 13d ago

You had me thinking for a while, but i've come to conclude that I typically begin hating my jobs when I start hating my managers, or my pay.

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u/MarlinMr 13d ago

That's not actually true. There are jobs that don't suck, but also have pay. There are jobs that don't suck but don't have enough pay for people to do it. And there are jobs that are not paid.

Do you think the people who edit Wikipedia love those jobs? Because they do it for free

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u/mtranda 13d ago

Regarding the Wikipedia point, I think they do love their jobs. It's the joy of sharing knowledge or the satisfaction of correcting even a minor mistake and we some people live for that shit. Not me, though. I'm too cool to be one of those nerds. Yeah.

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u/thebornotaku 13d ago

"If it was fun, they wouldn't call it work"

Something my father used to always say. There's definitely something to finding a job you like, but at the end of the day the majority of work out there is gonna suck at least a bit.

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u/08830 13d ago

Yes it is

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u/somanyroads 13d ago

I don't get the impression that a lot of the press and interviews that go along with promoting a new film you're in, as an actor, isn't a very fun endeavor.

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u/Mini-Nurse 13d ago

Can't speak for Hollywood specifically, but I volunteered as an extra in a b reel zombie movie, spent about 12 hours in set for 2 scenes that amounted to maybe 2-3 minutes. Zombie horde approaches, and zombie horde descend and munch macho man.

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u/yiannistheman 13d ago Silver Starry

"That whole Iran-Contra thing? Boring as shit. Now, there was this one time that the cointel chief was walking around the entire day without realizing he had TP on his shoe. We laughed, and laughed - and then went back to bringing cocaine into the US illegally"

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u/doogles 13d ago

"Look, teaching all those South American dictators how to torture people was SUUUUUUCH a drag. That's why we called it the School of the Americas."

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u/hashi1996 13d ago Silver Wholesome

I cannot imagine ever in my life wanting to listen to a podcast from the fucking CIA. Like if I ever turn into such an empty headed cow willingly taking my propaganda strait down the throat I would hope to at least have decent enough friends that would take me out back and shoot me.

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u/bondagewithjesus 13d ago edited 13d ago

dont worry you just get it indirectly through the media. Operation mocking bird never ended. Change my mind. Even if say you never watched or used any social media or other media your friends probably do and through cultural osmosis you'd be fed propaganda.

Edit: https://youtu.be/NK1tfkESPVY John Stockwell former cia agent explains exactly how the cia launders propaganda and often outright lies to manufacture consent for hostilities against other countries. Starts at 1:40

Edit2: if you want a start on what operation mockingbird is, here's a cursory glance. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Mockingbird Keep in mind Wikipedia isn't the most reputable and tends to sanitise history when it suits them. Funnily enough there was a report that came out showing thousands of wiki edits were from computers in known intelligence agencies. Lastly for my claim about government computers editing wiki pages https://www.reuters.com/article/us-security-wikipedia-idUSN1642896020070816 There was also one showing the most active reddit users were mostly at military bases. But you can google it anyone who posts that's story tends to get banned or have there comment removed. In whichever sub.

Edit3: haven't listened yet but I wouldn't be surprised if the cia podcast made more insane claims than private media to make the already over the top nature of private media more believable. They already do it with radio free Asia/Europe
Fuck if it is that at least they're finally being semi open about things.

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u/sploding_burnout 13d ago

Funnily enough there was a report that came out showing thousands of wiki edits were from computers in known intelligence agencies.

There's also the fun tidbit that in 2013 Reddit published their annual statistics and the most "reddit addicted city" was Eglin AFB, a base that houses a ton of Special Warfare and testing units; that blog post was also quickly removed.

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u/kcg5 13d ago

….this is insane

Edit -

“Most addicted city (over 100k visits total) Eglin Air Force Base, FL Oak Brook, IL South St. Paul, MN”

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u/bondagewithjesus 13d ago edited 13d ago

Yeah I knew about that but didn't post because I know reddit is trying to cover that shit up. Nevermind some of the board prior to reddit had questionable careers before put it that way

Edit: figured if it didn't add it the rest of my post would stay and be less likely to be removed. I left the right breadcrumbs to help. Can't do that with a removed comment.

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u/GarfieldTrout 13d ago

If you’ve been published in The Atlantic more than like half a dozen times, you’re probably part of Mockingbird whether you know it or not

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u/bondagewithjesus 13d ago edited 13d ago

That's a fair assessment. My guess is he's speaking truth but not the whole truth to keep up the illusion of freedom and democracy. The CIA will classify things then declassify them after everybody stopped care. I think if he truly said anything more than what the cia was OK with ,we'd never know his name because he'd be dead. Still a good insight. A lot of people think this is shit we used to do not anymore. I feel it's liker when you can't hide something anymore so you go into damage control which this might be and if it is jesus God knows how much worse it is.

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u/ting_bu_dong 13d ago

It probably was boring as shit. I mean, they weren't the guys actually moving the drugs or anything.

The banality of evil.

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u/Askmeaboutmy_Beergut 13d ago edited 13d ago

Go watch "When the mountains tremble" about Guatemala.

You'll be so mad you'll cry. You'll also just cry. Actual footage of the atrocities heaped upon innocent mayans. All thanks to you know who.

Edit: this channel is the only one that has it broken into 9min segments. It's hard to find nowadays.

https://youtu.be/mM5uXwAVIGE

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u/spaceeeeeeeeeeeeeeee 13d ago

This is like the mafia showing all the boring legal activities they practice every day.

We already know you do mostly boring and legal work. And we already know you'll never talk about the other stuff.

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u/Raised_bi_Wolves 13d ago

Hahaha such a funny image, a podcast about the mafia in America and its just "Vinnie was always the best at creating and managing garbage pickup schedules for the guys, you'd swear he was a computer with how efficient his routing orders would be. In today's episode, we talk to Vinnie about some of his favorite routes and his thoughts on modern advancements in waste management"

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u/SpacemanTomX 13d ago

Would unironically love a series like this.

"Today we are meeting with Eduardo, former accountant for the Gulf Cartel. His expertise is on domestic and foreign tax codes. Eduardo let's gets started with some tips to maximize itemized deductions."

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u/Daniel_The_Thinker 13d ago

"anyway the treated plastic cost 5 cents more a yard but when you're wrapping up cocaine, it's better to go that yard.

Anyways next time we buy a truck for the death squad I think we should go all Hondas for the lower maintenance cost"

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u/Mysticpoisen 13d ago

Check out Our Thing. It's an older reformed mobster talking about the life and the business.

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u/Bloody_Insane 13d ago

Like the CIA will talk about their heroin trade or child sex trafficking

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u/ElGosso 13d ago

Do you think they take requests? I want to ask them how many people Gina Haskell personally waterboarded in the Thailand detention site.

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u/Rosenthalferdinand 13d ago

This, it's just a prop so people don't look behind the certain or step back to gaze at the sum of their wrecks over seventy+ years.

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u/PM_ME_YOUR_ANT_FARMS 13d ago

Yea this is pretty hysterical. "Hey guys, CIA here, look how boring we are! Look at all these mundane projects we work on and thats totally all we do! Martin Luthor King, Charles Manson? No no we had nothing to do with these people, we're just too boring!"

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u/trer24 13d ago

Did we organize a few coups and depose some world leaders back in the day? Maybe. But I'll tell you what's worse...when it's lunch time and you go to the office cafeteria and open that fridge door and find out that someone ate your shit! And you've been dreaming about the fuckin' lo mein all the way the fuck over here!

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u/Eau_de_poisson 13d ago

I actually live near their campus and sometimes drive past there.

Just by eyeballing the aggressively long lines of cars trying to leave during rush hour with no intersection traffic light, what’s worse is 100% getting on to Dolley Madison after 4pm.

Never accept a job on a big campus feeding into a busy road unless it has an intersection traffic light!!

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u/Pink_Revolutionary 13d ago

"back in the day" implies they aren't the ones constantly trying things still in Cuba (the recent pandemic protests) and Venezuela (literally sent people to attempt a coup, they got arrested). And that coup in Bolivia a few years ago was also their handiwork. They're still very much active in doing evil things.

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u/SomeCensoredGuy 13d ago

Yeah people assume things like that have stopped

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u/2yrnx1lc2zkp77kp 13d ago

Take it easy Ton’

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u/S-WordoftheMorning 13d ago LOVE!

Ain't no podcast like a CIA podcast, 'cause a CIA podcast ██ █████ ███████ ██████████████

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u/laffnlemming 13d ago

Got me.

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u/hmmmletmethinkboutit 13d ago edited 13d ago

I tried clicking that more times than I’d like to admit

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u/TripleJeopardy3 13d ago

I had some experience with some CIA personnel at one point and learned a bit about their career paths and expectations of employees. I left believing it was one of the most boring, conservative places you could work. It seemed from my limited exposure that you were part of a very large machine and should be completely devoted to the machine at all times, irrespective of how mundane the job.

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u/PandaCat22 13d ago

Years ago a former CIA employee did an AMA.

Even after he talked about the awful things the CIA routinely does (for example, he refused to say that the CIA didn't use child prostitutes to cultivate assets), he kept repeating the line that he would join again if called to "defend his country".

It seriously gave off culty vibes of doing whatever the CIA asked you no matter what.

Edit: link to the AMA

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u/somanyroads 13d ago

Honestly, I would expect an ex-CIA agent to remain discrete and positive, I'm sure the agency would have no problems tracking their correspondences online.

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u/vasya349 13d ago

A post like that is actually way more believable for people to like them than a super pro-CIA one. It’s much easier to win the “flawed servant of the people” look than pretending to be perfect until somebody mentions you were involved in multiple genocides. The AMA normalizes the CIA, also I feel like this guy is definitely a clown selling stuff.

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u/doofpooferthethird 13d ago edited 13d ago

I think it’s also plausible for a job to sound mundane, while also being part of something inhumane.

“You took part in the Holocaust? Dear god what was that like?”

“Eh, you know, the usual. Lots of paperwork, petty office politics, boss was annoying sometimes. Typical clerk job”

Same goes for the CIA, probably, the vast majority of the civil servants there are just keeping the wheels greased, handling logistics and such, or doing above-board analyst stuff with non-covert sources.

And if they do happen to intersect with all the nasty crap the CIA has done over the decades, they either just shrug their shoulders and go “eh, national security”, or they don’t even fully understand what they’re doing

This doesn’t let them off the hook, but it’s scary how easy it is for otherwise normal people to end up supporting very evil things just by “keeping your head down” and “doing your job”

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u/thirdegree 13d ago

The banality of evil.

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u/LouSputhole94 13d ago

Somewhere in the Holocaust there absolutely was a guy whose job was just sweeping the floors. They were Nazi floors, but he was just sweeping them.

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u/Subject-Base6056 13d ago

Can we all just agree that we shouldnt take anything from these sources at face value?

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u/[deleted] 13d ago

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u/TheNoidbag 13d ago

There's a whole part of the game Control when you 'beat' it and get stuck in a mental timeloop wherein your day working for the Federal Bureau of Control is just delivering mail, getting the boss coffee, etc. Which makes you realize the mundanity of the job that everyone except the people working directly with the supernatural shit deal with.

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u/Peakomegaflare 13d ago

Fuckin' Control man, it's so damn good. The whole of the universe just is so well written! I can't wait to see what the sequals for it and the other series that are connected have in store.

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u/HarbingerDe 13d ago edited 13d ago

The machine regularly plays a role in overthrowing democratic governments and installing fascists... Can't have people be anything but unquestioningly devoted.

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u/Cpt_plainguy 13d ago

To bad only a handful of people actually get to do the over throwing, everyone else just gets to crunch data to make it easier to do

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u/sheffieldasslingdoux 13d ago

The banality of evil.

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u/asund_ 13d ago

Someone’s got to train people to machine gun a village of farmers and dump the bodies in the well too.

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u/Flavaflavius 13d ago

That's the green berets' job. The CIA is more "let's write a report about how their currency is gonna crash next year so the President can read it and authorize some sanctions to destabilize them."

99% of CIA stuff is basically just accumulating and sorting data, same as the NSA except foreign instead of domestic.

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u/shogi_x 13d ago

"We should make a podcast."

"Great idea! We've got decades of exciting stories! What should we talk about?"

"How boring our job is."

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u/zanderkerbal 13d ago

It's propaganda, trying to make themselves sound more normal so people forget about the skeletons in the closet.

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u/jimbo224 13d ago

Thank you. I can't believe people are actually going along with the CIA's narrative in the comments

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u/ViridianEight 13d ago

yup

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u/AnonTheMaidenless 13d ago

LITERALLY. THERE ARE LITERALLY SKELETONS IN THEIR CLOSET.

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u/Axuo 13d ago

Oh they won't talk about overthrowing governments on a public podcast? Must be real boring work then. The CIA would never lie of course

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u/UnsavoryBoy 13d ago

Can’t wait for the episode on Chile and Allende

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u/SharkMilk44 13d ago

Their options were talk about how boring it is, or talk about the very interesting, most likely classified stuff.

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u/Arigato_MrRoboto 13d ago

Sometimes a disc of crap on a gym floor is just a disc of crap on a gym floor.

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u/spaceeeeeeeeeeeeeeee 13d ago

Even if it's just crap, they will still pay for your plastic surgery in the end.

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u/KamachoThunderbus 13d ago

I thought you might be worried... about the security... of your shit...

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u/corn_sugar_isotope 13d ago

is this "burn after reading"?

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u/ddmyssc 13d ago

Nice try. Next you will try and make me believe that being an accountant is nothing like the move ‘The accountant ’

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u/fireky2 13d ago

Ah finally a podcast from the guys who wasted money on a cat based listening device and spent the majority of their existence treating the Geneva convention as a to-do list.

Can't wait for nestles podcast about how little slavery they use, or irans podcast on human rights next

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u/hebdomad7 13d ago

Or two executives from PepsiCo and CocaCola talking about how many people died during the Cola wars...

Also CocaCola had anti union death squads in South America partly funded by the CIA...

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u/DoktuhParadox 13d ago

Jeez I sure hope that that isn't part of a pattern of behavior where the CIA acts in the interests of US-based agribusiness to depose democratically elected socialist governments in order to extract their natural resources!

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u/Stardust_of_Ziggy 13d ago

Nice try Fed

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u/Bushfries 13d ago

How can they say it's boring when they've instigated so many coups in this decade alone!

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u/blind_bambi 13d ago

I'm sure they'll be sanitizing their image, while we pretend they're fine now(because we only know parts of what they do years later)

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u/Rapturesjoy 13d ago

I wonder if we'll get a podcast about mk ultra??

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u/Wagbeard 13d ago

https://journals.openedition.org/inmedia/558

The CIA has been in Hollywood since they were the OSS. I don't know if Americans notice it but your guy's media industry is absolutely loaded with corporate and military propaganda.

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u/lostbastille 13d ago

What about when they assassinate democratically elected leaders in third world countries?

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u/PandaCat22 13d ago

Super boring—all they do is funnel drug money to them and don't get in on any of the action. Do you know how infuriating it is to launder money to a third world country?!

All they do is spreadsheets. Just. So. Boring

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u/AcctJustSoICanBitch 13d ago

What about when they assassinate democratically elected leaders in third world countries?

Oh, I'm sure they've got a few in the other two worlds as well.

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u/EhMapleMoose 13d ago

Yes. The CIA is boring and trustworthy and they follow rules. Source: the CIA.

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u/Bramse-TFK 13d ago

There are marines out there that spent their whole life cutting potatoes, not sure what this proves other than the CIA also has desk jobs.

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u/Unhappy_College 13d ago

I’m sure they do want you to think that lol

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u/Smodphan 13d ago

It's how propaganda works. You just find a few people who think a specific way and believe what you want to present. Then it's simple and easy to get them to propagandize what the CIa wants to project. That's why the internet is so easy to use for intelligence agencies.

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u/No_Telephone9938 13d ago

How come you and the other dude have the exact same avatar?

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u/Smodphan 13d ago

It was free during an event of some kind

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u/Cheeseknife07 13d ago

Clearly you are both CIA

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u/YubNub81 13d ago

Well duh

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u/OneLivingMan 13d ago

This is like saying “don’t look into anything the army does, it’s sooOoOoooooOooo boring!”

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u/Steel_Airship 13d ago

This feels like a psyop.

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u/Ninja_Tortoise_ 13d ago

"we're boring, trust us, heres a podcast to prove it"

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u/DarkBlueEska 13d ago

When I was starting out in my career I did work that required a high-level security clearance and was located in a secure facility. Not Langley, but I did spend a day there once.

After the clearance came through, I lasted about six months before I couldn't stand the boredom any longer and left for something in private industry.

I wouldn't trust the CIA about much, but they're not lying about the monotony.

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u/simian_ninja 13d ago

Are they going to talk about all the coups that they’ve done? They interference in other countries? Their role in the drug trade?

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u/HavocNightrage 13d ago

Imagine choosing to listen to government propaganda

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u/spider_84 13d ago

Corrected. CIA launches first misinformation podcast.

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u/BrainstormsBriefcase 13d ago

Moved up to Langley recently with a plain and simple dream…

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u/MuddyWaterTeamster 13d ago edited 13d ago

Once you’ve assassinated one democratically elected leader, you’ve really assassinated them all. Nothing too exciting.

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u/floatoverblow 13d ago

"Ah man, I'm so booooored, can we destabilize another third world country?"

"No man. It's pizza friday. Cool your jets."

*laughtrack*

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u/BeltFedBanana 13d ago

The CIA is literally the least legitimate source of information on what happens at the CIA.

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u/Illustrious_Drop_877 13d ago

Who’s going to tell them?