r/suspiciouslyspecific Jul 01 '22

They really do, though

Post image
23.1k Upvotes

u/VerySuspiciousBot Jul 01 '22

If this is suspiciously specific, Upvote this comment!

If this is not suspiciously specific, Downvote this comment!

Beep boop, I'm a bot. Modmail us if you have a question.

812

u/gagansid Jul 01 '22

The hand eye monster from pan's labyrinth had better hands

116

u/jane_doe_john Jul 01 '22

Fun fact his official name is Pale Man

128

u/noitha Jul 01 '22 Wholesome

I tough it was Mitch McConnell

17

u/shelbyishungry Jul 01 '22

And he smokes Pall Malls

4

u/forrnerteenager Jul 01 '22

Yeah, it definitely likes to suck that pale male 🥰

111

u/JonWesHarding Jul 01 '22

I'd even say.... sexier... hands. Right?

72

u/JonWesHarding Jul 01 '22

Right, guys?

17

u/icweenie Jul 01 '22

If I’m being honest 9/10

5

u/torsmork Jul 01 '22

Dentists

8

u/Crypto_Candle Jul 01 '22

Am definitely in for a handjob.

3

u/A_Gast Jul 01 '22

I mean, they’d have great hand to eye coordination…

→ More replies

3

u/Darth_Baeaddil Jul 01 '22

And a prostate exam.

→ More replies

31

u/gagansid Jul 01 '22

If you're into eyes, then sure.

→ More replies

9

u/gerdataro Jul 01 '22

The witches from 1990’s The Witches had better hands.

8

u/DogsandCoffee96 Jul 01 '22

I got banned from r/instagramreality for saying she has chicken claws when this is so much worse 😂😂😂

→ More replies

243

u/RalseiEnjoyer Jul 01 '22

Witch from left 4 dead..

55

u/TheApathyParty2 Jul 01 '22

So does that mean I can go tap her real quick and run away laughing while she murders all of my friends? Just following L4D logic here.

24

u/BaroquenLarynx Jul 01 '22

This is why we stopped inviting you to LAN parties, Steve

18

u/TheApathyParty2 Jul 01 '22 edited Jul 01 '22

The game is literally called Left 4 Dead, ok? Why am I the bad guy for leaving people for dead?

…. And, you know, maybe helping the process along a little.

…. And getting a small bit of enjoyment in hearing their screams in a bleak, post-apocalyptic wasteland.

How am I the bad guy?

13

u/BaroquenLarynx Jul 01 '22

I thought critically, and I cannot find fault with your logic. Carry on!

10

u/CentralAdmin Jul 01 '22

Get ready to toss that bitch!

80

u/CovidInMyAsshole Jul 01 '22

Voldemort

12

u/MrHallmark Jul 01 '22

Thank you! The fact that no one said this makes me wonder where are people's childhoods.

5

u/discgolfallday Jul 01 '22

Most people on reddit didn't grow up with Harry Potter. Hate to break it to you, but you're getting old.

→ More replies

293

u/TheLadySinclair Jul 01 '22

Damn! I've seen ghosts with more coloring! Is she bleaching her skin?

140

u/JonWesHarding Jul 01 '22

No, just her butthole.

39

u/Farkenell69 Jul 01 '22

How does she wipe said butthole??

26

u/fantasy-gecko Jul 01 '22

Bold of you to assume she wipes

80

u/Me_Real_The Jul 01 '22

How do girls do anything with nails. It's shocking how difficult it looks to use a phone, type, tie shoe laces... Fuck. These nails look like the equivalent of having shackles.

22

u/MangledSunFish Jul 01 '22

Technique? Skill? Practice? Sheer willpower? Trial and error? Spite?

It's got to be one of those.

22

u/Leotardleotard Jul 01 '22

I think staff is the answer.

Probably had a dedicated ass wiper

1

u/Jossuboi Jul 01 '22

God I wish that was me.

5

u/_dead_and_broken Jul 01 '22

Are you German, by any chance?

48

u/goldenshoreelctric Jul 01 '22

Maybe she scrapes her butthole with her nails, like eating a cup of chocolate ice with a spoon. Without the eating. I hope. Hopefully

38

u/Jaegerjaquez_VI Jul 01 '22

Wtf, I want the eye bleach now

r/cursedcomments

15

u/theslybananana Jul 01 '22

Gotcha covered buddy, r/eyebleach

-9

u/Luci_Hoomun Jul 01 '22

wrong sub, I believe you're looking for r/eyeblech

9

u/MutantGodChicken Jul 01 '22

You're a monster

3

u/GOOSUS110 Jul 01 '22

He's a monster indeed

4

u/sup3rdr01d Jul 01 '22

That's enough internet for today

8

u/qwertyslayer Jul 01 '22

you can still delete this comment

5

u/SeryaphFR Jul 01 '22

Literally nothing stopping him

2

u/PerilousPasta Jul 01 '22

She just gets her boy to eat that ass

→ More replies

6

u/FerretMilker Jul 01 '22

Maybe she lives in 2022 like the rest of us with bidets. I will never understand why people still use TP to wipe. Besides having an actual clean butthole, it also saves hundreds per year not having to buy all that TP.

2

u/TransIlana Jul 01 '22

Yeah bidet gang rise up!

→ More replies

5

u/cursed-core Jul 01 '22

It is easier then you think but does take some skill. For typing on phone use the side of the fingers, typing is pad of the fingers, tying shoelaces is kind of pinching the laces and going that way

→ More replies

11

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '22

She's a billionaire who uses local universities to get free labor from students as "internships" where the "interns" do things like wrap gifts for her pretend friends. They probably have other slaves to wipe their asses after they shit.

→ More replies

21

u/CityHoods Jul 01 '22

The worst thing is when those women use their phones and you just hear their long-ass claws clacking on the screen like a dog walking over tiles. I was in the ER last year for 6 hours and this woman was in there tipping extremely long messages on her phone with her ugly talons just annoying the shit out of everyone.

3

u/Me_Real_The Jul 01 '22

Looool. Dude my dog is the most annoying thing in Earth as he just taps around all day long. Even cutting his nails as short as they can. Nope. Still clacks. It's the WORST.

→ More replies

3

u/AirForceWeirdo Jul 01 '22

I have an issue with my phone so I took it back to the shop, the girl had nails like this and watching her fail to operate the touchscreen because of said stupid fucking talons was beyond frustrating. They will be one of those trends people look back on and wonder what the fuck they were thinking.

3

u/secondtaunting Jul 01 '22

I swear, it’s a trend that says they’re above everyone else, like when women used to bind their feet. I’m nobility, I don’t have to do dishes or cook and clean.

→ More replies

4

u/barewithmeim9 Jul 01 '22

They have a bidet aka asswasher they don’t mostly touch their ass

3

u/Jefferson-Steelflex1 Jul 01 '22

She’s got an assistant for that

→ More replies

39

u/royroyflrs Jul 01 '22

I demand to see her butthole…so i can form a more educated opinion ** sweats profusely**

41

u/skibapple Jul 01 '22

bonk

Go to horny jail

10

u/Smokeyspy- Jul 01 '22

With the other horny people? Don't mind if I do ;)))

7

u/AcemanCometh13 Jul 01 '22

Back in your pod Mr. House.

6

u/Smokeyspy- Jul 01 '22

NO, I DONT WANNA

→ More replies

82

u/lurid_sun__ Jul 01 '22

Excessive UV exposure does that to plastics

2

u/PartyClock Jul 01 '22

I didn't expect to witness a murder in broad daylight today

11

u/Rolix_Rubix Jul 01 '22

I think it's just the lighting in this case.

10

u/TheLadySinclair Jul 01 '22

Lighting, filters, and Photoshop are probably the answer.

→ More replies

24

u/Sea_Link8352 Jul 01 '22

Her face is so orange that the rest of her looks ghastly pale in comparison

5

u/VelvetMerryweather Jul 01 '22

I think she must have bleached her hands. Unless her FACE is the fake color, and she's actually an albino?

7

u/TheLadySinclair Jul 01 '22

She is wearing full-face makeup, those folks can't allow anyone to see the real them. The biggest problem is that that whole bunch has manipulated every photo of themselves so far past reality I'm not sure they even recognize themselves in the mirror! I wish their 15 minutes of fame would hurry up and be over.

3

u/secondtaunting Jul 01 '22

Accidentally sees themselves in mirror, shrieks.

2

u/Geo_Star Jul 01 '22

That's probably her natural skin color after all the fake tan and injections. People sometimes forget but the Kardashian family is white and is regularly referred to as "Blackfish" which is basically people putting on permanent blackface to pretend they're black.

38

u/TheTrashPanda612 Jul 01 '22

Pickled chicken feet

9

u/Mindless_Psychology Jul 01 '22

I read that as pickled children feet at first and I grew concerned

27

u/fischper Jul 01 '22

Does anyone know why her hands actually look like this?

35

u/Novaleah88 Jul 01 '22

A fuck ton of photoshop

6

u/SkyBlueSilva Jul 01 '22

Has to be right ?

19

u/Arreeyem Jul 01 '22

Looks like bad lighting tbh. I'm sure her hands look fine in most pictures.

3

u/FlockOfYoshi Jul 01 '22

So I'm pretty sure it's the angle of the sun going through the tinted part of her windshield. It fades out halfway down her hands where it transitions to normal windshield.

-5

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '22

[deleted]

23

u/WhatsAFlexitarian Jul 01 '22

It's literally grey. I'm too ghastly for MAC's NC15 but I can't ever remember looking grey in a photograph, even when in shade

11

u/madwilliamflint Jul 01 '22

Bullshit. She looks dead.

5

u/queen-of-carthage Jul 01 '22

Her fingers are ridiculously long

1

u/Gangreless Jul 01 '22

Anorexia would be my guess

→ More replies

105

u/Vorcion_ Jul 01 '22 Bravo Grande!

That's harsh.

We should be grateful for her sacrifice in destroying Voldemort's ring horcrux 😔

58

u/Herogh0st Jul 01 '22

The Hand of Vecna

44

u/Charles_Chuckles Jul 01 '22

It's because she's nearly 40 and she's trying to look 20.

Not that 40 is old or anything. It's just not as Young as 20, which is super young.

But society and gossip rags constantly focuses on this family's looks. If people weren't so voyeuristic or vitriolic towards this family, perhaps she could let herself begin to age more gracefully.

This is not really a defense of the Karsashians, because honestly BOO to rich assholes. This is more of a defense for women in Hollywood who are damned if they do damned if they don't.

9

u/empathyisheavy Jul 01 '22

I agree with this

7

u/PartyClock Jul 01 '22

This is a really good point. Why should we focus on our looks from when we were only 1/4 of the way through our life when we continue to grow and change until we die? We should appreciate the beauty that humans display throughout our whole lives not just a 10 year span out of it.

→ More replies

7

u/GoddessOfMagic Jul 01 '22

WHY ARE THEY GREY?!

58

u/RogueVictorian Jul 01 '22

That’s just so sad. She doesn’t 1) look anything like herself 2) I am guessing body dysmorphic disorder???

55

u/ShortRedditAtIPO Jul 01 '22

It’s called being a Kardashian

25

u/FancyAdult Jul 01 '22

She seems to be keeping up…

30

u/drMyronReducto Jul 01 '22

I was thinking the same thing. I don't care to hear about them, it gets irritating, but she looks unnaturally different. It must be a lot of pressure. These comments are kind of creepy/overdramatic and surprisingly sexual. Like.... She got her nails done kind of weird.. nothing stranger then I've seen on an average day at Walmart.

18

u/swangt Jul 01 '22

clearly, she's exploring a different health, body lifestyle, and image... as well as fashion. i dont know anything, but im assuming something here is a bit wrong or loose-screw-ish, bc her skinny-ness is an unsettling contrast. hopefully she'll even out at some point. with her wrecked relationship, im sure that doesnt provide her anymore support :(

6

u/shermantank123567 Jul 01 '22

Does she have an extra knuckle?

→ More replies

4

u/OkraGlum6068 Jul 01 '22

That’s Lord Voldemort right there

4

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/stomponator Jul 01 '22

Count: "And zis is my beautiful wife, ze Countess Empusa."

Countess: "Enchanté."

Count: "Can ve offer you something to trink, young friend? A glass of... vine, perhaps?"

4

u/BuckfuttersbyII Jul 01 '22

I don’t trust any picture I see of anyone in that family. The editing they do makes some great r/uncannyvalley submissions.

4

u/St_Lawrence_ Jul 01 '22

That lizard DNA they have been warning us about.

36

u/Toy_Soulja Jul 01 '22 Wholesome

Imagine that hand grabbing your cock, you look her dead in the eye afraid she is about to suck your soul out through your dick like a horny dementor…. And then she just starts beating it till you reach wingardium leviosa

22

u/Mkreza538 Jul 01 '22

Excuse me?

16

u/goldenshoreelctric Jul 01 '22

Pardon me? You reach what?😂

6

u/omgitsaHEADCRAB Jul 01 '22

I know right, It's leviOsa, not levioSA!

→ More replies

3

u/burnsrado Jul 01 '22

Sir this is a Wendy’s

2

u/bread840 Jul 01 '22

This comment is amazing.

3

u/Tacklas Jul 01 '22

Hey, they didn’t spend all that money for you to look at their hands now did they!?

3

u/Exact_Purchase_7147 Jul 01 '22

That’s the hand that opens the casket at the beginning of Tales from the Crypt

3

u/CruelMustelidae Jul 01 '22

Shes a reptile and she is trying to show us

3

u/Zebulon_Flex Jul 01 '22

Why does this website love talking about the Kardashians so much? I have a word filter for them, but I'm still constantly getting updates on here. Literally everything I know about them I learned from here.

2

u/Competitive_Mousse85 Jul 01 '22

Really? Reddit is the only place I can get away from them lol. Weird how the algorithm works differently for everyone.

2

u/Zebulon_Flex Jul 01 '22

I don't know where else I would hear about them. I'm on Twitter a little, but I guess the people I follow there aren't interested.

→ More replies

3

u/Aquateen92 Jul 01 '22

In my ignorant head, I didn’t think any of them actually drove their own vehicles and just got chauffeured around 🤷‍♀️

→ More replies

3

u/Nailandbeyond Jul 01 '22

Those are $700+ nails

3

u/Causal_Calamity Jul 01 '22

Damn she relaxes for one moment and her human disguise faded for just a second lmao

3

u/Voltairesque Jul 01 '22

those are straight up claws dude

3

u/Ashamed-Working-2067 Jul 01 '22

Those are probably plastic also

3

u/Uzischmoozy Jul 01 '22

Look like the hands from the Vampire in Nosferatu.

3

u/DonnyMox Jul 01 '22

Maybe Khloe Kardashian lives under your bed and grabs your ankles when you sleep.

Not sure how she'd fit her ass under someone's bed, though.

3

u/DragonTamer1505 Jul 01 '22

This bitch Is the reason that we need to keep our covers over our feet

3

u/KapitanKraken Jul 01 '22

She's a reptilian!

3

u/Ausecurity Jul 01 '22

Vecna would be impressed

3

u/RainyDaysInSpace Jul 01 '22

She's sporting 10 little petri dishes.

2

u/Endlad Jul 01 '22

God damn did DIO Brando make her hands? Holy lord they're long and sharp.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '22

And the body of a crash test dummy

2

u/baphomet_fire Jul 01 '22

I can't tell if it's an optical illusion or too much Photoshop. Could be both. Could be a lack of circulation slowing killing her youth, calling for fresh blood to make her feel alive once again to lead the Kardashian family in these odd times we live in.

2

u/BruhMomentum6968 Jul 01 '22

Looks like she’s been trying to destroy a Horcrux

2

u/Obi_Wahn_Inside Jul 01 '22

I don't know about her, but there is no fingerplay involved with my gf if I don't cut, file and clean my nails.

She either has to cut them or stab herself in the vag if she desires to finger herself...

→ More replies

2

u/split-mango Jul 01 '22

Why them gray fingers

2

u/JBBanshee Jul 01 '22

This family is max weirdo.

2

u/gtfohbitchass Jul 01 '22

Yeah and her face is even worse

2

u/Help-__-Lol Jul 01 '22

Ngl her skin looks so grey I think she dying. Or barely sees the shb

2

u/Otono_Wolff Jul 01 '22

She's a goddamn wendigo!

2

u/blanket__hog Jul 01 '22

The other mother?

2

u/GetOffMyLawn_ Jul 01 '22

How do you wipe your ass with those things?

→ More replies

2

u/Ambitious_Door_4911 Jul 01 '22

But why is it so pale?! Is she ill?

2

u/J-Love-McLuvin Jul 01 '22

I think the answer to that is a resounding “yes”.

2

u/brocknuggets Jul 01 '22

Yzma from emperors new groove lookin hands

2

u/ahab1313 Jul 01 '22

Also the face.

2

u/silly_willy82 Jul 01 '22

Her "lizard person" is showing

2

u/Turd-virgin Jul 01 '22

I heard they classified their whole family as a human sub-species due to all the Botox. Apparently it went rouge and altered the genome enough to denote reclassification.

2

u/edvurdsd Jul 01 '22

Mind boggling that she and some people think this looks attractive.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '22

This is what using excessive photoshop in every photo does to your skin.

2

u/Sreezy3 Jul 01 '22

My embalmed grandmother had better hands

2

u/pilesofcleanlaundry Jul 01 '22

Wow. And to think, those things have been up Lamar Odom's ass.

2

u/KirkMouse Jul 01 '22

Definite Nosferatu vibes.

2

u/BossBark Jul 01 '22

Nosferatu looking ass

2

u/neurot1 Jul 01 '22

Lizard peoples

2

u/Waffle_Stomp_Romp Jul 01 '22

Question to women: Since you insist "We're not dressing up for guys, we're dressing up for other women" when it comes to stuff like this... Do you really think long fake nails look good on other women and not completely gross and freaky? Why do you think looking like some kind of neglected mental patient who hasn't had their nails cut in 30 years is hot?

2

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '22

Interesting driving posture

2

u/MozzStk Jul 01 '22

Who do you think wipes her butt-hole for her?

I can't imagine she's capable of doing it effectively with those on, so either she doesn't wipe or someone else has to do it.

2

u/fanboyroy1 Jul 01 '22

Plastic surgery works on the face but the hands don’t lie!!!

2

u/Robotonist Jul 01 '22

Holy wtf happened to her? That’s not the khloe that I saw a few years ago

2

u/gofigure85 Jul 01 '22

Kim: give me that Nosferatu look

Nail stylist: say no more fam

2

u/Playful-Educator4921 Jul 01 '22

Truthfully Khloe Kardashian in general (gross hands or not) looks like what I’d imagine lived under my bed or in my closet as a child. There’s nothing remotely attractive about any of that family once the cosmetic surgery, fillers, make up, war paint, clothes, designers, photoshop, retouch, etc washes away.

2

u/isaidnolettuce Jul 01 '22

Bitch got thalmer hands

2

u/Alert-Schedule-2304 Jul 01 '22

Every time I see a picture of her she looks like a completely different person

2

u/DirtyBertieOG Jul 01 '22

Omg the witch from Snow White is real!

2

u/quityouryob Jul 02 '22

They all just gross.

2

u/duke22609 Jul 02 '22

Lamar said her vagine smelled like an earring back

→ More replies

2

u/cdoggy4534 Jul 02 '22

Pete Davidson is rubbin off on her

2

u/CutlassKen Jul 01 '22

Geez. A solid handshake will turn her bones to dust.

2

u/Minibeebs Jul 01 '22

With the access y'all have to guns and whatnot, I'd have thought the problem would have sorted itself out by now.

1

u/SonofaTimeLord Jul 01 '22

It's like fucking Vecna from Stranger Things

1

u/jpax6305 Jul 01 '22

i wish she was under my bed with her fine self

1

u/NutmegTea83 Jul 01 '22

She's so nasty ugly.

1

u/JesusIsMyZoloft Jul 01 '22

They say a man once tried to kill himself when he slept in her bedroom…

1

u/BlahblahblahLG Jul 01 '22

It’s the nails! They must be so uncomfortable too

1

u/gingiepet Jul 01 '22

She got them Morbius hands

1

u/dogbolter4 Jul 01 '22

Jesus that’s terrifying. Imagine that stroking you- be like being caressed by a rotary hoe.

1

u/DRbrtsn60 Jul 01 '22

And you thought horror films were made.

1

u/Tykjen Jul 01 '22

Xenomorph hands.

1

u/ClearMessagesOfBliss Jul 01 '22

The nazgul look is back boys!

1

u/ManOfTheVoid Jul 01 '22

Moira O'Deorain with her freaky hand just before it turned purple.

1

u/_AthensMatt_ Jul 01 '22

NOOOO NOW I HAVE A NEW SLEEP PARALYSIS DEMON

1

u/erochian Jul 01 '22

Pretty sure I saw her in the mandela catalogue somewhere

1

u/Throwawaystwo Jul 01 '22

What in the UnHoly fucking hellspawn is that? surely thats photoshopped.

1

u/jykb88 Jul 01 '22

It reminded me to Voldemort

1

u/CapBeatty451 Jul 01 '22

The magic she uses on her face transmogrification saps the life from her extremities.

1

u/Roderick1995 Jul 01 '22

Looks like Dumbledore’s hand, after dealing with the horcrux.

1

u/JAMillhouse Jul 01 '22

It looks like she’s about to hand Snow White a poisoned apple.

1

u/nbikkasa Jul 01 '22

You know this will get back to her, and she’ll get like a skin replacement or something.