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u/gagansid Jul 01 '22
The hand eye monster from pan's labyrinth had better hands
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u/jane_doe_john Jul 01 '22
Fun fact his official name is Pale Man
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u/JonWesHarding Jul 01 '22
I'd even say.... sexier... hands. Right?
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u/DogsandCoffee96 Jul 01 '22
I got banned from r/instagramreality for saying she has chicken claws when this is so much worse 😂😂😂
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u/RalseiEnjoyer Jul 01 '22
Witch from left 4 dead..
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u/TheApathyParty2 Jul 01 '22
So does that mean I can go tap her real quick and run away laughing while she murders all of my friends? Just following L4D logic here.
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u/BaroquenLarynx Jul 01 '22
This is why we stopped inviting you to LAN parties, Steve
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u/TheApathyParty2 Jul 01 '22 edited Jul 01 '22
The game is literally called Left 4 Dead, ok? Why am I the bad guy for leaving people for dead?
…. And, you know, maybe helping the process along a little.
…. And getting a small bit of enjoyment in hearing their screams in a bleak, post-apocalyptic wasteland.
How am I the bad guy?
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u/BaroquenLarynx Jul 01 '22
I thought critically, and I cannot find fault with your logic. Carry on!
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u/CovidInMyAsshole Jul 01 '22
Voldemort
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u/MrHallmark Jul 01 '22
Thank you! The fact that no one said this makes me wonder where are people's childhoods.
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u/discgolfallday Jul 01 '22
Most people on reddit didn't grow up with Harry Potter. Hate to break it to you, but you're getting old.
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u/TheLadySinclair Jul 01 '22
Damn! I've seen ghosts with more coloring! Is she bleaching her skin?
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u/JonWesHarding Jul 01 '22
No, just her butthole.
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u/Farkenell69 Jul 01 '22
How does she wipe said butthole??
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u/Me_Real_The Jul 01 '22
How do girls do anything with nails. It's shocking how difficult it looks to use a phone, type, tie shoe laces... Fuck. These nails look like the equivalent of having shackles.
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u/MangledSunFish Jul 01 '22
Technique? Skill? Practice? Sheer willpower? Trial and error? Spite?
It's got to be one of those.
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u/Leotardleotard Jul 01 '22
I think staff is the answer.
Probably had a dedicated ass wiper
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u/goldenshoreelctric Jul 01 '22
Maybe she scrapes her butthole with her nails, like eating a cup of chocolate ice with a spoon. Without the eating. I hope. Hopefully
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u/Jaegerjaquez_VI Jul 01 '22
Wtf, I want the eye bleach now
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u/theslybananana Jul 01 '22
Gotcha covered buddy, r/eyebleach
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u/FerretMilker Jul 01 '22
Maybe she lives in 2022 like the rest of us with bidets. I will never understand why people still use TP to wipe. Besides having an actual clean butthole, it also saves hundreds per year not having to buy all that TP.
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u/cursed-core Jul 01 '22
It is easier then you think but does take some skill. For typing on phone use the side of the fingers, typing is pad of the fingers, tying shoelaces is kind of pinching the laces and going that way
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Jul 01 '22
She's a billionaire who uses local universities to get free labor from students as "internships" where the "interns" do things like wrap gifts for her pretend friends. They probably have other slaves to wipe their asses after they shit.
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u/CityHoods Jul 01 '22
The worst thing is when those women use their phones and you just hear their long-ass claws clacking on the screen like a dog walking over tiles. I was in the ER last year for 6 hours and this woman was in there tipping extremely long messages on her phone with her ugly talons just annoying the shit out of everyone.
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u/Me_Real_The Jul 01 '22
Looool. Dude my dog is the most annoying thing in Earth as he just taps around all day long. Even cutting his nails as short as they can. Nope. Still clacks. It's the WORST.
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u/AirForceWeirdo Jul 01 '22
I have an issue with my phone so I took it back to the shop, the girl had nails like this and watching her fail to operate the touchscreen because of said stupid fucking talons was beyond frustrating. They will be one of those trends people look back on and wonder what the fuck they were thinking.
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u/secondtaunting Jul 01 '22
I swear, it’s a trend that says they’re above everyone else, like when women used to bind their feet. I’m nobility, I don’t have to do dishes or cook and clean.
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u/royroyflrs Jul 01 '22
I demand to see her butthole…so i can form a more educated opinion ** sweats profusely**
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u/skibapple Jul 01 '22
bonk
Go to horny jail
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u/Rolix_Rubix Jul 01 '22
I think it's just the lighting in this case.
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u/TheLadySinclair Jul 01 '22
Lighting, filters, and Photoshop are probably the answer.
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u/Sea_Link8352 Jul 01 '22
Her face is so orange that the rest of her looks ghastly pale in comparison
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u/VelvetMerryweather Jul 01 '22
I think she must have bleached her hands. Unless her FACE is the fake color, and she's actually an albino?
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u/TheLadySinclair Jul 01 '22
She is wearing full-face makeup, those folks can't allow anyone to see the real them. The biggest problem is that that whole bunch has manipulated every photo of themselves so far past reality I'm not sure they even recognize themselves in the mirror! I wish their 15 minutes of fame would hurry up and be over.
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u/Geo_Star Jul 01 '22
That's probably her natural skin color after all the fake tan and injections. People sometimes forget but the Kardashian family is white and is regularly referred to as "Blackfish" which is basically people putting on permanent blackface to pretend they're black.
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u/Lex_D_Needer Jul 01 '22
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u/fischper Jul 01 '22
Does anyone know why her hands actually look like this?
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u/FlockOfYoshi Jul 01 '22
So I'm pretty sure it's the angle of the sun going through the tinted part of her windshield. It fades out halfway down her hands where it transitions to normal windshield.
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u/WhatsAFlexitarian Jul 01 '22
It's literally grey. I'm too ghastly for MAC's NC15 but I can't ever remember looking grey in a photograph, even when in shade
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u/Vorcion_
Jul 01 '22
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That's harsh.
We should be grateful for her sacrifice in destroying Voldemort's ring horcrux 😔
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u/Charles_Chuckles Jul 01 '22
It's because she's nearly 40 and she's trying to look 20.
Not that 40 is old or anything. It's just not as Young as 20, which is super young.
But society and gossip rags constantly focuses on this family's looks. If people weren't so voyeuristic or vitriolic towards this family, perhaps she could let herself begin to age more gracefully.
This is not really a defense of the Karsashians, because honestly BOO to rich assholes. This is more of a defense for women in Hollywood who are damned if they do damned if they don't.
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u/PartyClock Jul 01 '22
This is a really good point. Why should we focus on our looks from when we were only 1/4 of the way through our life when we continue to grow and change until we die? We should appreciate the beauty that humans display throughout our whole lives not just a 10 year span out of it.
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u/RogueVictorian Jul 01 '22
That’s just so sad. She doesn’t 1) look anything like herself 2) I am guessing body dysmorphic disorder???
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u/drMyronReducto Jul 01 '22
I was thinking the same thing. I don't care to hear about them, it gets irritating, but she looks unnaturally different. It must be a lot of pressure. These comments are kind of creepy/overdramatic and surprisingly sexual. Like.... She got her nails done kind of weird.. nothing stranger then I've seen on an average day at Walmart.
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u/swangt Jul 01 '22
clearly, she's exploring a different health, body lifestyle, and image... as well as fashion. i dont know anything, but im assuming something here is a bit wrong or loose-screw-ish, bc her skinny-ness is an unsettling contrast. hopefully she'll even out at some point. with her wrecked relationship, im sure that doesnt provide her anymore support :(
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Jul 01 '22
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/stomponator Jul 01 '22
Count: "And zis is my beautiful wife, ze Countess Empusa."
Countess: "Enchanté."
Count: "Can ve offer you something to trink, young friend? A glass of... vine, perhaps?"
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u/BuckfuttersbyII Jul 01 '22
I don’t trust any picture I see of anyone in that family. The editing they do makes some great r/uncannyvalley submissions.
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u/Toy_Soulja
Jul 01 '22
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Imagine that hand grabbing your cock, you look her dead in the eye afraid she is about to suck your soul out through your dick like a horny dementor…. And then she just starts beating it till you reach wingardium leviosa
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u/Tacklas Jul 01 '22
Hey, they didn’t spend all that money for you to look at their hands now did they!?
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u/Exact_Purchase_7147 Jul 01 '22
That’s the hand that opens the casket at the beginning of Tales from the Crypt
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u/Zebulon_Flex Jul 01 '22
Why does this website love talking about the Kardashians so much? I have a word filter for them, but I'm still constantly getting updates on here. Literally everything I know about them I learned from here.
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u/Competitive_Mousse85 Jul 01 '22
Really? Reddit is the only place I can get away from them lol. Weird how the algorithm works differently for everyone.
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u/Zebulon_Flex Jul 01 '22
I don't know where else I would hear about them. I'm on Twitter a little, but I guess the people I follow there aren't interested.
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u/Aquateen92 Jul 01 '22
In my ignorant head, I didn’t think any of them actually drove their own vehicles and just got chauffeured around 🤷♀️
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u/Causal_Calamity Jul 01 '22
Damn she relaxes for one moment and her human disguise faded for just a second lmao
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u/DonnyMox Jul 01 '22
Maybe Khloe Kardashian lives under your bed and grabs your ankles when you sleep.
Not sure how she'd fit her ass under someone's bed, though.
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u/baphomet_fire Jul 01 '22
I can't tell if it's an optical illusion or too much Photoshop. Could be both. Could be a lack of circulation slowing killing her youth, calling for fresh blood to make her feel alive once again to lead the Kardashian family in these odd times we live in.
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u/Obi_Wahn_Inside Jul 01 '22
I don't know about her, but there is no fingerplay involved with my gf if I don't cut, file and clean my nails.
She either has to cut them or stab herself in the vag if she desires to finger herself...
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u/Turd-virgin Jul 01 '22
I heard they classified their whole family as a human sub-species due to all the Botox. Apparently it went rouge and altered the genome enough to denote reclassification.
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u/Waffle_Stomp_Romp Jul 01 '22
Question to women: Since you insist "We're not dressing up for guys, we're dressing up for other women" when it comes to stuff like this... Do you really think long fake nails look good on other women and not completely gross and freaky? Why do you think looking like some kind of neglected mental patient who hasn't had their nails cut in 30 years is hot?
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u/MozzStk Jul 01 '22
Who do you think wipes her butt-hole for her?
I can't imagine she's capable of doing it effectively with those on, so either she doesn't wipe or someone else has to do it.
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u/Playful-Educator4921 Jul 01 '22
Truthfully Khloe Kardashian in general (gross hands or not) looks like what I’d imagine lived under my bed or in my closet as a child. There’s nothing remotely attractive about any of that family once the cosmetic surgery, fillers, make up, war paint, clothes, designers, photoshop, retouch, etc washes away.
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u/Alert-Schedule-2304 Jul 01 '22
Every time I see a picture of her she looks like a completely different person
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u/Minibeebs Jul 01 '22
With the access y'all have to guns and whatnot, I'd have thought the problem would have sorted itself out by now.
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u/JesusIsMyZoloft Jul 01 '22
They say a man once tried to kill himself when he slept in her bedroom…
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u/dogbolter4 Jul 01 '22
Jesus that’s terrifying. Imagine that stroking you- be like being caressed by a rotary hoe.
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u/CapBeatty451 Jul 01 '22
The magic she uses on her face transmogrification saps the life from her extremities.
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u/nbikkasa Jul 01 '22
You know this will get back to her, and she’ll get like a skin replacement or something.
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