r/suspiciouslyspecific Jul 01 '22 Silver 1

Sometimes

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26.3k Upvotes

u/VerySuspiciousBot Jul 01 '22

If this is suspiciously specific, Upvote this comment!

If this is not suspiciously specific, Downvote this comment!

Beep boop, I'm a bot. Modmail us if you have a question.

622

u/Sticky_Hulks Jul 01 '22

Or those times when it goes off and you did nothing wrong and the nearest worker says "ah don't worry about it!" Like fuck dude now I wish I had that TV up my ass

168

u/PetrifiedW00D Jul 01 '22

This kept happening to me at Rite Aid. Like, I had just made my purchase and was walking out the door and the security sensors went off. Me and the cashier looked at each other with that WTF face. Couldn’t figure it out. It was months later when I was cleaning out my wallet that I found a security tag deep in one of the wallet’s card holders. No idea where it came from or how it got there, but the mystery was solved.

60

u/dre224 Jul 01 '22

Same though it was a phone case that still had a scanner code on it stuck at the bottom. Every time I went to Walmart the anti-steal scanners at the doors would go off. I could not figure out for months why it was happening. Just turned out the scanner tag on my phone had the exact same pattern as expensive keyboards in their electronics section.

13

u/MyArmsBendBackward Jul 02 '22

If you don’t mind me asking, how did you ever figure that one out?

1

u/dre224 Jul 03 '22

The bar code on the bottom lines up with a code in their system. So after like the 5th time it went off I went to the service desk. They scanned the bar code on the bottom of my phone case because I was pretty sure it was the cause. Apparently it was the exact code for a keyboard. I just took off the code but it took longer then is should of to figure out why the detectors were going off

35

u/PeterM1970 Jul 02 '22

Guy on my floor in college would go to the library and sneak small books into people’s bags so they’d set off the alarm on the way out. The guy in charge of security was intensely serious about that shit, too.

Me, I worked at the library. We used to take the sticky metal strips that set off the alarm and put them on the floor so our coworkers would get them on the bottom of their shoes and set off the alarm.

5

u/Pix3l101 Jul 02 '22

You evil bastard. I'm taking that idea

14

u/corran450 Jul 02 '22

Is there anyone with access to your wallet who doesn’t like you? This is a great prank to play on someone if you have access to their wallet/purse.

12

u/PetrifiedW00D Jul 02 '22

No one that I can think of. I vaguely remember seeing it a long time ago. I was probably just a dumb ass and put it there myself.

58

u/-Pm_Me_nudes- Jul 01 '22

Man I really need a TV up my ass rn 😫

35

u/Sticky_Hulks Jul 01 '22

step TV what are you doing

18

u/TheRnegade Jul 01 '22

Hot, horny TVs are in your area right now and they are down for Netflix and Chill.

1

u/abibicoff Jul 03 '22

They "switch channels" too, iykwim 😉

16

u/ernzo Jul 02 '22

Or you get home and realize your new bathing suit had a security tag because you used self check out

93

u/Quajeraz Jul 01 '22

That's why I always make sure to check up my ass for a bit before going through the sensors. It would be really embarrassing to be caught accidentally stealing.

43

u/dhfspyotr Jul 01 '22

I just keep a finger up my ass the entire time I shop. That way no pesky tv's can sneak their way up there while I'm not looking.

18

u/Quajeraz Jul 01 '22

Oh, that's a great idea! I'll be sure to do that next time.

15

u/WarB3an Jul 01 '22

Meh, they have no right to detain you. Just keep walking and pretend you’re the queen of England

1

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/WarB3an Jul 01 '22

Good bot

5

u/Thestarchypotat Jul 01 '22 edited 29d ago

for those wondering, what the bot said is below. why? because i particularly like this bot and it is now everyones problem.

queen of England

Did you mean the Queen of the United Kingdom, the Queen of Canada, the Queen of Australia, etc?

The last Queen of England was Queen Anne who, with the 1707 Acts of Union, dissolved the title of King/Queen of England.

FAQ

Isn't she still also the Queen of England?

This is only as correct as calling her the Queen of London or Queen of Hull; she is the Queen of the place that these places are in, but the title doesn't exist.

Is this bot monarchist?

No, just pedantic.

I am a bot and this action was performed automatically.

8

u/redraider-102 Jul 02 '22

I usually just ask the person standing behind me in line to check for me. It’s such an awkward angle for me to try to do it myself.

66

u/Villagefortrolls Jul 01 '22

Try having a stopover in Singapore, where they give you a card saying don’t exit the plane if you have drugs or they will put you to death. I don’t do drugs. But I did not exit the plane.

35

u/religiouskid Jul 01 '22

Nah imagine dieing cuz you had Flintstone gummy in your pocket

23

u/Villagefortrolls Jul 01 '22

If it’s the gummy kind, you’d be in double trouble… they might mistake it for gum. Also illegal.

7

u/NiceCockBro126 Jul 02 '22

Gum is illegal?

13

u/Villagefortrolls Jul 02 '22

Yes. The punishment isn’t death at least… but $1000 fine for first time offenders. They don’t want gum on pavements and streets. Littering is a $300 fine. Not flushing a toilet is also illegal… seems they like things clean.

I don’t know if they have the weirdest laws of any country, but it’s the weirdest I’ve come across.

5

u/Kryllllllyx Jul 02 '22

Weird, I've left over 50 public toilets unflushed and I'm not caught yet

2

u/Villagefortrolls Jul 02 '22

You rebel you. Just outta control 😂

6

u/Carnifex Jul 01 '22 edited Jul 02 '22

Well you wouldn't be the first whom somebody put some in their pockets

18

u/Villagefortrolls Jul 02 '22

That’s true. Everyone was checking their pockets and handbags too. Like… I don’t think I’m here as a mule, but let me double check… 😳

6

u/babygrille Jul 02 '22

Do you have the option of staying on the plane and retuning or where you came from or what?

14

u/Villagefortrolls Jul 02 '22

To be accurate, you can’t leave the airport if you have drugs. So you could exit the plane and get on another plane. They won’t make you leave the airport.

The way they gave us the card was creepy af. This small flash-card looking card saying something to the effect of, “Don’t exit if you have drugs. The penalty is death.” Like wtf… I had no idea.

Everyone was politely handed a card by the stewardess and read this horror in silence.

12

u/AlternativeEast9848 Jul 02 '22

Okay that's actually pretty cool as far as what the underlying message really says.

"We dont care what you're doing, or what you have. Just don't bring that shit into my house."

8

u/Villagefortrolls Jul 02 '22

Ha true. They have very strict laws and punishments in their country, like gum is illegal. The crime is low, due to fear of punishment, and the streets are clean/without splotches of gum.

31

u/DeeBangerCC Jul 01 '22

Life hack

  1. Walk through detector

  2. Look confused

  3. Worker waves you through

  4. You have now succeeded in robbery

90

u/Deion313 Jul 01 '22

Always check to make sure you didn't "accidentally" drop a box of Band-Aids in your pocket... It just happens to jump off the shelf, and into my coat. I can't explain it... Shits expensive

7

u/MyArmsBendBackward Jul 02 '22

No shit bandaids ARE expensive! Like, why? Because they can?

2

u/Deion313 Jul 02 '22

And the generic band aids are fucking trash. So it's like 7$ for 20 real Band Aids.

If you honestly think I'm not gonna fill each box, with 4 or 5 boxes, and ring them out as 1, you're crazy.

3

u/lennypartach Jul 02 '22

An assorted size 100 ct of flexible fabric Band Aid’s is $7.69 at Target so that’s about $0.08 per bandage. I think that’s about what I would pay for a bandaid ¯(ツ)

2

u/Deion313 Jul 02 '22

Ya assorted, where 60 of them are for shots or pimples and there's like 10 finger band aids. I need the 100 count finger and butterfly band aids...

65

u/Brohammad_Ali24 Jul 01 '22

That anxiety was nailed into me when as a 12 year old had the those detectors sound off because the clerk at the Borders forgot to take off the security tag off my manga.

19

u/Flat_Reason8356 Jul 02 '22

I don’t touch anything I’m not buying. When I was 4, my older sister and her friend took me along on a stealing spree. I apologized at every store. I was sobbing and I’ve never stolen anything since then.

6

u/Haveyouseenmynachos Jul 02 '22

How traumatic and unnecessary.

13

u/actibus_consequatur Jul 01 '22

Makes me thankful for my oversized Faraday Cage butt plug.

12

u/queernhighonblugrass Jul 01 '22

I do this walking out of the store I've worked at for years

12

u/DannyBasham Jul 01 '22

You shove a tv up your ass for years?

4

u/erland_yt Jul 02 '22

Yes, I can't get it out and I don't wanna explain it to the EMT, again.

10

u/truckstop_superman Jul 01 '22

I was drug tested at work the other day, it came back positive because of medication I am on. Had to wait to get the all clear from a lab test. The whole time thinking, oh what if I took heroine and just forgot about it.

6

u/shtushkutusha Jul 01 '22

Heroine would be upset and would want heroin.

8

u/broken_softly Jul 02 '22

When I was 20 and naive, I bought a bunch of foil skylander cards as a reward for a kid I tutor. Last time I bought a stack, the alarm went off because they weren’t scanned correctly.

So, when the alarm went off again, I was unsurprised and quickly explained it to the greeter.

“Oh! This happened last time. One of the cards in my bag didn’t get scanned right.”

What I didn’t expect was a sudden burst of aggression, “Well maybe it’s in your purse!”

I took my purse off my shoulder, swung it through the detectors, and, of course, it didn’t go off. Then, I swung the bag through and they went off again. I held the bag out to the greeter and politely asked her to fix it. She snatched the bag out of my hands and stomped off.

As a real adult, now I know she should not have been talking to me like that and that she could actually get in trouble for her statement. No idea what kind of bad day she was having but I became nervous about leaving stores for a few years.

2

u/Infamous-End3766 Jul 02 '22

I’m getting major déjà vu today

8

u/InevitableAd9683 Jul 02 '22

THAT'S WHERE MY TV WENT! Shit, I've been looking for it all week!

7

u/bird0026 Jul 01 '22

I have pins in my shoulder. They set off the alarms in some stores. I walk in - beep beep beep! "Sorry, it's my shoulder." Walk out - beep beep beep! "Sorry, it's my shoulder!"

It used to terrify me. Now I just laugh at the confusion of all the people around me when I apologize for my shoulder. TSA doesn't like me either.

1

u/skqn Jul 02 '22

One of my relatives had pins in her leg as a teen. Several years later on her first travel they set the alarm off at the airport. Of course she forgot about them, and with no chains, keys or metal belongings, the security woman took her to an inspection room, only to let her go several minutes later without figuring out what's going on.

We only understood what happened months later.

2

u/bird0026 Jul 02 '22

Oh no! Haha I bet that security woman still thinks about the mystery metal passenger.

5

u/Dinyale Jul 01 '22

That's why my Colon is lined with aluminum foil, so I don't have to worry about things like this.

5

u/twigvicious Jul 01 '22

I have this thought a lot…well not the TV up my ass part. I’ll be about to go through one of those sensors and think, “shit, did I shoplift something by accident somehow?” But then of course I didn’t, just like I never do (except that one time). I also have this thought going through airport security, like “fuck, do I have a weapon?”

4

u/shtushkutusha Jul 01 '22

I sometimes find myself in the electronics isle, picking what will fit in rectum. So far, only 2 record players.

4

u/MemeCheese34 Jul 02 '22

Or when you're walking through airport security and are like "shit, what if I'm carrying multiple explosives and firearms"

10

u/ImpairedHedgehog Jul 01 '22

This is what Adhd feels like lmao

6

u/eternalride Jul 01 '22

Lol true i thought this was posted on the adhd sub

3

u/BreadChiId Jul 01 '22

I hate when that happens😩

3

u/Daxmar29 Jul 02 '22

I always yell “Run!” When it goes off for someone.

3

u/sirdavos95 Jul 02 '22

I work retail security. Unless they're stealing every person has this look on their face when they beep on exit.

3

u/Proud-Butterfly6622 Jul 02 '22

Why yes, I think I did shove it in my ass!!!!

3

u/MxFleetwood Jul 02 '22

I remember as a teenager I found a loose security tag in a bookshop. Managed to yeet it into the hood of some kids hoodie, then watched his mum go absolutely apeshit at him when he set the alarms off.

I was a little shit.

5

u/Asem1989 Jul 01 '22

That guild and anxiety feeling i have all the time.. I'm an Arab

2

u/Bugsy_Girl Jul 01 '22

Just keep walking. They’ll stop you if they caught you before the censor is set off, the alarm is just their cue to jump in. And if you are shoplifting, be on the lookout for anyone following you whilst keeping their distance

2

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '22

I'm more concerned that the security strips weren't properly demagnetized, and if it goes off, people will get the wrong idea.

2

u/gnpfrslo Jul 02 '22

Fun fact: I have brown skin

2

u/txspacewanderer Jul 02 '22

And you’ve already decided if it does go off you’re just going to run! Run so fast!

2

u/bladedCarnival9 Jul 02 '22

Have any form of PC peripheral somewhere and you'll have a fun experience. I had my keyboard in my backpack and promised to go shopping with my girlfriend before I took it for warranty. Literally every store's sensors went insane until I just made it a habit to tell the workers I have a keyboard in my bag before I walked in. Safe to say nothing has helped my social anxiety like that lol.

And to anyone saying I should have done the warranty check beforehand, the keyboard was coming with me after anyway and having something of my own at the end of the trip kept me motivated till we got there lol.

2

u/mckeewh Jul 02 '22

You can’t prove that.

2

u/pumpkinthighs Jul 02 '22

The biggest anxiety is going through airport security like did I forget to dump out my water or will they find a grenade up my ass

2

u/SongOfStormySeas Jul 02 '22

There was this computer shop where they got some of the more unorthodox parts I couldn't get anywhere in the city and importing was too much of a hassle. The price of buying online locally could also end up spiking because of the shipping cost, and sometimes more expensive because of the novelty (things like single rank DDR3, 4GB DDR2, etc). My college dorm also had this package receptionist where they're only open at 1PM-3PM and it was the time I was expected to be in the lab, so it was a hassle.

Back to the shop, I never had problems with the detector before, but one day, it starts beeping whenever I passed onto it. And seems like it was a very rare case, because the security guards always stop me and conduct a search. The culprit? My PASMO card I procured during my student exchange in Japan. The first time it happened they beeped my wallet and never really checked, only if I got something from their shop inside, but the second time it happened, I asked them to let me beep my cards. Whenever I need to get something there, I always needed to prepare myself for the beep, especially because they beep for my student ID card too when I went there for lab needs.

It sticks to you and now I prepare for the beep everywhere. Maybe my game center card will beep next.

2

u/puckmonky Jul 02 '22

On the other hand, I have accidentally (honest) walked out of Home Depot with a few dollars worth of stuff that I genuinely forgot I put in my pocket as I was shopping

1

u/doomtoothx Jul 01 '22

Welp … time to do my best to get the tv in my ass.

1

u/AwooFloof Jul 01 '22

Or forget you're still wearing a butt plug. That'd be pretty embarrassing.

1

u/VerumJerum Jul 01 '22

I honestly mostly feel uncomfortable about passing through a magnetic field, even if I know they are perfectly harmless.

1

u/tinkcum Jul 01 '22

Yes. Yes I did.

1

u/OperationalDefense Jul 01 '22

This is actually a very common concern of some with OCD. Not the ass part but yeah

1

u/Big_Yak_5166 Jul 01 '22

Maybe you should look into r/OCD

1

u/Error_Fantastic Jul 02 '22

Hahahhahahaha.

1

u/Neat_Story_9218 Jul 02 '22

Hahaha!! Yep. Every time.

1

u/Deathlysouls Jul 02 '22

I knew I forgot something after getting home..

1

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '22

Fetish

1

u/SufficientlyOily Jul 02 '22

Ha ha happens to me all the time. I always feel nervous going thru sensors even though I've never stolen anything...ever.

1

u/Hungover994 Jul 02 '22

I forgot I store my entire collection of vintage coins up in my asshole

-1

u/cringenotkek Jul 01 '22

Hi I'm a tv