r/technicallythetruth 8d ago Helpful 1 Wholesome 2 Take My Energy 1 Big Brain Time 1 Silver 5

Religious People don't moan

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94.7k Upvotes

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u/Unlucky-Pomegranate3 8d ago

South Park touched on this: “Oh my science”!

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u/still_thirsty 7d ago

“Science damn you!”

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u/BirdLawyerPerson 7d ago

And more recently, with:

Oh, yeah. Yeah, you like that? Yeah! Yeah! Yeah, you like how Abraham trusted in the one true God?!

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u/Emektro 7d ago

Thank the maker!

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u/wildmeli 7d ago

Haha, you believe in a supernatural being! Oh my science!

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u/vjawsm 8d ago Silver Bravo!

when atheists say oh god during sex it makes everything a bit spicy coz it’s blasphemous

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u/[deleted] 8d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

435

u/Antique-Result458 8d ago

Oh, wow, Big Bang

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u/rcwilvxdf 7d ago

Oh the Big Bang ...

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u/crypticfreak 7d ago

Sheldor say Bazogner! Everyone laugh.

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u/Jekyllz 7d ago

(Insert really obnoxiously loud laughing effect)

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u/Marcellofp2 7d ago

(Insert clapping effect)

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u/JasonVoorhies13 7d ago

(Insert long pause in dialogue until artificial effects fade into silence)

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u/Jackattack_8192 7d ago

(Fades out into the catchy but cringey end theme)

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u/CatfinityGamer 7d ago

(Cringey end theme ends)

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u/GardenPuzzleheaded98 7d ago

Haha! (No clue)

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u/autonomial 7d ago

Bing Bong

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u/Putrid_Discussion635 7d ago

Why did my mind jump to the character from Inside Out?

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u/MaxPower119 7d ago

The amount of people who didn't get this reference made me feel extremely old...

"I know I shouldn't eat thee"

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u/[deleted] 7d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/crypticfreak 7d ago edited 7d ago

Muslims are always saying God is great. Figured they'd say it during sex, too.

I mean seems like a good moment to give praise to God.

EDIT: Was on mobile at the time. Meant to say 'are always saying' but somehow that didn't come out.

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u/stoneape314 7d ago

If I was having sex with someone and they started shouting out "Inshallah", that sure wouldn't fill me with confidence.

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u/guccifella 7d ago

“Inshallah” means god willing and “Allah-u Ekber” means “God is Great” ; therefor if you heard someone shouting “Inshallah” that should actually fill you with confidence that you’re about to be filled with something, assuming of course that God wills it.

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u/stoneape314 7d ago

There's also the very common ironic usages of Inshallah.

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u/MinuteManufacturer 7d ago

How else would you consecrate the god goo as halal?

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u/Naro_Lonca 7d ago

I think this may be a bot as I saw this exact comment from a different account over an hour ago

(Dunno how to report a potential bot tho)

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u/TreesNThingsKY 7d ago

I get money and throw crosses, am I sacrilegious?

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u/SoSoUnhelpful 7d ago

Because it’s imaginary!

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u/Humor_Tumor 7d ago

Screamin' and Blasphemin' the Semen?

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u/Punchanazi023 7d ago edited 6d ago

Make the world a better place - kill a Republican today!

🌎🩸

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u/Sunretea 7d ago

“This is my body, which is given for you. Do this in remembrance of me.”

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u/[deleted] 7d ago

[deleted]

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u/canned_soup 7d ago

The booty giveth and the booty taketh away

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u/Vinnyc-11 7d ago

Wouldn’t it be Christians then, since atheists wouldn’t really have to worry about blasphemy?

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u/Mystimump 7d ago

Only if one is a Christian and the other's not.

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u/Guybrush_Creepwood_ 7d ago

Yeah this is literally just the same attempt at a joke and then the response playing out in the same way as the original pic. So peak reddit, basically.

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u/Manguoi 7d ago

take me to your secular world

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u/Tariqss 7d ago

This made me claim my free award

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u/Tempest_Barbarian 8d ago

Oh Big Bang

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u/RiceFarmer_64 8d ago

Oh cambrian explosion

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u/Gongaloon 7d ago edited 7d ago

There's a cambrian explosion in my pants, and you're invited.

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u/RiceFarmer_64 7d ago

Bro just recreated the Permian mass extinction inside the uterus 💀

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u/[deleted] 7d ago
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u/[deleted] 7d ago

'Oh yeah big bang me harder. Explode a universe into me. '

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u/MashTheGash2018 7d ago

Keep my mom’s nickname out your fucking mouth

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u/Eggsaltzorotoaster 7d ago

Ohh random chance! Randooom Chaaance… ah

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u/EatTheRichIsPraxis 8d ago Silver Helpful Wholesome All-Seeing Upvote

"Oh god!" is for when it is so good you cannot believe it.

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u/Im_your_real_dad 7d ago

I simply cannot grasp the concept of this not being butter.

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u/Emektro 7d ago

Unbelievable!

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u/FirstBankofAngmar 7d ago

INCONCIEEEEVABLE!!

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u/whyOhWhyohitsmine 7d ago

You keep using this word but I don't think you know what it means

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u/Bury_Me_At_Sea 7d ago

Hysterectomy. 🤷

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u/xRoyalewithCheese 7d ago

Oh god it’s not butter!

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u/MEOWTheKitty18 8d ago

Take my upvote and leave

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u/eyekunt 7d ago

Stfu and sit down

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u/danabrey 7d ago

Username checks out.

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u/VibraniumRhino 7d ago

I have been !

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u/[deleted] 7d ago

Good joke, but the reason I can't believe in it is because it's so bad lol.

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u/runujhkj 7d ago

It’s kinda both for me. I can’t believe it because it’s terrible, yes, but also because of how good believers claim it to be. It always sounds like textbook language of abuse victims. “He knows when to use tough love” “when he strikes us down it’s because he loves us” etc.

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u/FerusGrim 7d ago edited 7d ago

Satan is what did it for me.

God is all-powerful but this one dude tortures people for eternity and even though God loves you, “Oh boy, my hands are tied. Should have believed my Son died for your sins because he can only take the nonbelievers for some reason… even though my Son did, again, die for your sins, one of which is not believing he died for your sins.”

God has a plan for all of us, but some of “us” rape children???

EDIT: Please stop interpreting this comment as an invitation to attempt to convert me to your religion of choice. You guys don’t believe in 1,000 other religions. The difference between you and I is that I don’t believe in 1,001.

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u/MafiaMommaBruno 7d ago

I just scream "I can't believe it's not butter!"

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u/MeltinSnowman 8d ago

I read "atheists" as "athletes" and was confused.

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u/GivePuppiesBazookas 7d ago

Athletes yell "It's gooooooood" during sex. Sometimes they blow the whistle for person fouls and then she puts him in the penalty box. But when he gets out of the box he gets a free kick at the goal. She is allowed to call a time out to go to commercial however. It's all in the sport of sex though, it's 90% mental if you give 110% orgasms at the end of that day. The post coitus press conferences are fucking great too.

... I just realized I could literally do this all day and be way too happy, I gotta go outside.

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u/KJawesome5 7d ago

Tell me how the grass feels

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u/elastic-craptastic 7d ago

If there's no grass on the field, they play in the mud.

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u/craniumonempty 7d ago

Must've gone to the back yard.

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u/AliceInHololand 7d ago

I don’t like grass. It’s prickly, itchy, and irritating, and it gets stains everywhere.

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u/[deleted] 7d ago

I hate you for letting me read that.

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u/Abira_Gatapira 7d ago

. I just realized I could literally do this all day and be way too happy,

Do what makes you happy! Be your best self!

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u/KaiserWilliam95 7d ago

And if someone gets hurt they call in the stretcher to carry them out, followed by being replaced with a less skilled or more rested person

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u/lucky_doodle 7d ago

I read this as “more related” person & I was like no no no...

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u/N3Chaos 7d ago

“Oh I’m gonna cum. Im going to go all the way!!! GOOOOOAAAAAALLL!”

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u/Zestyclose-Compote-4 7d ago

"Goooooooaaaaaaaaal!!!"

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u/Lysol3435 7d ago

Aaaaand boom goes the dynamite!

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u/No-Distribution-2859 7d ago

Lool imagine tennis players, or the umpire yelling “OUT”

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u/troopah 8d ago

When the getting is good, usually an "åh fan" slips out.

Swedish for "oh satan".

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u/Horskr 7d ago

I knew there was a reason I didn't trust fans.

But really, literal translation is "oh damn" but I'm not a Swedish speaker. Do you use fan for satan as well? Just curious.

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u/yanonce 7d ago

Nah I’d say oh damn is closer. At least that’s how people use it. It’s considered a swear word though unlike damn

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u/Quail_eggs_29 7d ago

Damn is a swear, ask my mom

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u/Bleezze 7d ago

Is it still? Feels barely like a swear word. It's like the word crap, feels like it's ok enough to not be considered a swear word

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u/gecko786 7d ago

My understanding is that you say crap when you don't want to use a serious swear word, so it serves as a mild substitute to fuck and damn. When somebody says "crap", you know that whatever happened isn't too serious. Fan can be used when you're being dead serious and not censoring yourself. So I'd say fan is equivalent to fuck, while something like "jäklar" would be the equivalent to crap.

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u/troopah 7d ago

The literal translation for fan is devil. But it is used more like damn in this case, you're right.

The actual word for satan is satan. Or djävulen. Or hin håle. Hmm. There's a lot.

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u/Emektro 7d ago

It said you shouldn’t use the lord’s name in vain!

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u/countdown654 8d ago

Sex in vain? Wth

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u/Emektro 7d ago

Damn that’s gotta be a bad dick

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u/MurdoMaclachlan 8d ago

Image Transcription: Facebook


Anastasia Udinova

I wonder how Atheists moan during sex

They be like "oh evolution"

Sammy Pasta

Atheists are the only ones allowed to yell oh god during sex, because religious people shouldn't use the Lord's name in vain


I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!

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u/BloodySerpentX Technically an asshole 7d ago

Good hooman

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u/hihiihigiggitigyiigi 7d ago

Good human 👍

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u/Jolo_Jyn 8d ago

Oh Darwin

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u/ABDOUABOUD123 8d ago

oh charlies

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u/Emektro 7d ago

That could lead to an interesting discussion…

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u/ohno_spaghetti_o 7d ago

It would evolve into an interesting discussion .

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u/silentclowd 7d ago

Evolution is the study of slow changes in a species as a result of reproduction.

So "oh fuck" would be a totally valid appeal to evolution in the heat of the moment ;)

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u/Titanosaurus 7d ago

I assure you, Muslims do not yell “oh Allah” during sex.

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u/Thenmot 7d ago

Well that's extremely disappointing and I'll be voting Trump from now on.

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u/PsychoticBananaSplit 7d ago

I've got news for you buddy

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u/Titanosaurus 7d ago

I already know. They still say “oh Jesus”. And my name is Joshua!

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u/ScienceClassic3849 7d ago

Do they scream out a physical description of the prophet Mohammad?

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u/Rickrickrickrickrick 7d ago

God isn't the lord's name though. It's just his title. That's why I say "Oh Yahweh!" Whenever I cum.

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u/Niwa-kun 7d ago

Never understood why he was referred to as "lord"...

- are people that desperate to be ruled over?

- is god that conceded that he believes to rule over humanity like a King?

- is it a title he bestowed upon himself, or did the people give it to him?

????

though my understanding is limited, in human terms, a lord is a ruler of land/property/kingdoms. Yahweh is credited to having created everything, but that doesn't make sense for Christians, does it? By that logic, Jesus isn't a lord, just a messiah/messenger.

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u/Demonboy_17 7d ago Helpful

Christians say that Jesus is god, and god is Jesus.

Why I find weird that they also says "Jesus is to the right of God", as that would mean he is to the right of himself, so there would be infinite Jesuses (Jesuss?) to accomplish that

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u/tskank69 7d ago

Infinite Jesi

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u/Haman134 7d ago

jesi we have to make more holy water jesi

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u/banmedaddy12345 7d ago

If God was a scientist trying to train a bunch of monkies with technology it makes more sense. I cuss and swear at my technology all the time.

As an atheist I completely understand your point, but I feel like if religions wanted to bring in more people they should alter their story to be more modernized.

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u/Actually_toxiclaw 7d ago

r/technicallynottechnicallythetruth

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u/timberflynn 7d ago

I mean if we’re going off Biblical stuff, “oh God” is a Christian way of thanking God so it’s not really in vain is it?

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u/trailokyam 7d ago

Came to say something similar.

God isn’t technically the Christian god’s name so that’s why the word god is used as a placeholder.

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u/Emektro 7d ago

Came to say something similar.

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u/peccatum_miserabile 7d ago

None of this is correct. Taking God’s name in vain has nothing to do with swearing or casual speech. It means doing something evil in the name of God, like Joel Osteen.

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u/JimWilliams423 7d ago

Yep, but like much of the bible, the antichrist-ians have perverted it to so they can get away with doing exactly what Jesus told them not to do and still lie to themselves that they are christians.

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u/Mr_Abe_Froman 7d ago

There's one instance of Jesus chasing people with a whip and it's concerning people using the temple/religion to make money. So it's definitely something he was passionate about.

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u/Vinnyc-11 7d ago

“This dick is so good, thank you God!”

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u/wondrwrk_ 8d ago edited 8d ago

ACTUALLY, what “using the Lord’s name in vain” means to use God’s name with emptiness.

EDIT: SPELLING whoops but WHOOPS

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u/[deleted] 8d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/HalfSoul30 7d ago

From the heart and back again?

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u/Mountain_Culture1411 8d ago

I think that means to use lord's name in a blood vessel

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u/attanai 8d ago

Personally, I've always read it as not using God's name for your own vanity. Like saying "I'm successful because God loves me so much!" Or like saying that someone or a group of people is going to hell, since you're claiming to speak on behalf of God, but have no right or authority to do so.

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u/myclykaon 7d ago

IIRC it's the second of the two you describe.

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u/CupBeEmpty 7d ago

If you read the Old Testament it is pretty clear it is neither of the two options you mention. It is swearing an oath to God that you do not keep or don’t intend to keep. It isn’t just plain old cursing.

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u/Octavus 7d ago

It was most likely related to using God's names as a name of power, most often for cursing others. This wouldn't be someone yelling "God damn you!" but Curse Tablets. Many Mediterranean people thought that the names of gods held power and that power could be used. Reading the text of the 2nd Commandment it is also clear that Yahweh was not the only god that people believed in at the time the Commandments were written but that he was the God of the Hebrews and they shouldn't worship foreign gods.

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u/CupBeEmpty 7d ago

That’s the other likely explanation and both were probably true.

From the actual text of the Bible it generally seems like it is oaths to God.

But also we may never know. It’s an old set of documents and didn’t generally have original annotation and explanation.

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u/patio0425 7d ago

I mean we have an entire profession called biblical scholars that suss out these very things. Most people ignore them completely and just interpret the Bible how they want, which is part of the problem.

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u/PreferBoringPolitics 7d ago

“The Holy Spirit” stuff I was taught as a child was toxic af. Basically, if you feel like the Bible is speaking to you through the text, and that feeling was inline with the church’s dogma, then it’s from god. But you have to be careful, because sometimes the enemy is that voice you feel.

It basically is an exercise in confirming your bias or the bias of the church while also having a mystical out in case a young person is feeling the “wrong” message.

Anyway. I highly recommend people look into biblical scholars and see the things they have to say on the Bible. As a historical document it’s fascinating, and the history of those texts is very interesting. One thing I can tell you, if you grew up in some evangelical sect in the US, you probably have a very warped and mythical view of what the Bible is and how it was complied and what the purpose of those writing even were. But it’s fascinating to look into

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u/willreignsomnipotent 7d ago

“The Holy Spirit” stuff I was taught as a child was toxic af. Basically, if you feel like the Bible is speaking to you through the text, and that feeling was inline with the church’s dogma, then it’s from god. But you have to be careful, because sometimes the enemy is that voice you feel.

Toxic is right lol

And yeah, I had someone try to hit me with this exact bullshit just a few days ago.

"Yeah but you can't interpret the Bible if you don't have the holy spirit..."

Well that's awfully fucking convenient... lol

And let me guess-- you've got it, and any time you don't like what someone is saying, they clearly don't, right?

🙄

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u/QuarterlyBoosters 7d ago

I've always understood it as "don't do evil in God's name".

So like "The bible says to beat your wife if she presumes to teach you".

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u/Don_Helsing 7d ago

It's referring to twisting religion to suit your own purposes and bending it to fit your argument. Like when people pretend anti-abortion sentiments are a religious thing when the Bible tells people how to do it safely, or when people use it to justify hatred despite being told to love thy neighbor, ect.

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u/Jaderosegrey 7d ago

I've been told it's using God's name for something God would not want to be associated with. Anything from swearing to using God as an excuse for something bad (you know, like the Crusades)

I mean... would you like it if someone called your name every time they hit their thumb with a hammer or got angry at something?

And sometimes, God be like "Nuh huh, I had nothing to do with that. It's all you!"

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u/ponderingaresponse 7d ago

Or, alternatively, a person engaged in love making could stay focused on the person they are with, rather than disrespecting them by focusing on some intangible deity.

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u/CoyoteConscious 7d ago

I was about to say. If I make any intelligible noises during sex, they are directed towards my husband, and are about how awesome it is to have sex with him. If god showed up it would be weird.

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u/N238 7d ago

That’s… not what using God’s name in vain means. Invoking God’s name to further your own ends or for your own agenda, particularly when it’s something untrue of God… THAT’S using God’s name in vain. So, for example:

  • “Oh my God!” is not using God’s name in vain.

  • “God hates xyz people” is 100% using God’s name in vain, and considered a sin. A very hypocritical one, at that.

Hope this helps.

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u/odinferris 7d ago

Came here for this

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u/Whisian 7d ago

I prefer the primal grunt

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u/wolverine6 7d ago

Usually the religious are saying things like "Yes, Father McCarthy" or "You can't tell anyone our little secret or the devil will get you."

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u/decearing-eggz 7d ago

The catholic priests are saying “don’t tell your parents”

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u/razerzej 8d ago

"God" and "Jesus" make great interjections. Lords and saviors, not so much.

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u/matx43 7d ago

What if it's, like, REALLY good sex tho. I think that wouldn't be in vain

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u/TheWalkingDead91 7d ago

Why are some Christian’s weird about what things atheists are allowed to say and what holidays we’re allowed to celebrate? I’m an atheist, and like many atheists, I grew up in a religious household and live in a religious country/society. As such, I say things like “Jesus Christ” “oh god” “god forbid” “god knows” all the time. So what?

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u/Not_a_gay_communist 7d ago

“Oh Darwin I’m evolving!!!”

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u/Sativized 8d ago

I'd often be scared at night thinking Moms was gonna die when I'd hear her yelling "oh god, I'm coming!"

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u/icaphoenix 7d ago

I have found that people say "oh daddy" more than "oh god"

And I fuck a lot of people.

But you dont have to take my word for it..........

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u/Th3At0mB0mb 7d ago

This guy fucks

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u/tptch 8d ago

Rythmically chanting Monke

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u/napalm69 7d ago

I say oh Darwin

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u/FromTheRealWorld 7d ago

Funny to me since Darwin was deeply religious and all his scientific discoveries only strengthened his faith. This dichotomy of faith vs. Evolution is deeply flawed on every level.

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u/dontmatter8706 7d ago

Religious chicks be like "oh gee golly that's great". Dick soft, game over, go home.

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u/CardinalHawk21 7d ago

That's not what the commandment means. It mean to claim you are Christian but don't act like it. Basically being a hypocrite.

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u/SportTheFoole 7d ago

I think the Jews might disagree with that.

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u/causewthoutrebel 7d ago

She moaned "oh, god" and I moaned "god is dead."

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u/[deleted] 7d ago

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u/GiveToOedipus 7d ago

Oh religious people moan alright. They moan about other people's lifestyles and other shit that has nothing to do with them all the time.

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u/Laheree 8d ago

Not his name tho lol

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u/Cautionzombie 7d ago

Not religious but I always too the name in vain thing like doing bad shit in gods name like say “the crusades”

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u/Kevinwar73 7d ago

I say No Gods

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u/Username6788437 7d ago

Yelling "oh God" during sex wouldn't be using the name in vain though. This is r/technicallyincorrect

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u/nevergirls 7d ago

I think bill hicks joke was they yelled “chemical chance!”

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u/downbythereeds 7d ago

You know they made the word god in order to use it in vain

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u/ipickscabs 7d ago

Who says ‘oh god’ during sex anyway? that’s so cliche

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u/con_this 7d ago

Who makes noises during sex????

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u/livefromthevoid 7d ago

i like the implication that religious people = Christians exclusively

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u/floatingonacloud9 7d ago

exactly this is an example of how modern religionists views are so scewed😂

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u/kgruesch 7d ago

AMOEBA TO MONKEY!!!!!

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u/-MR-GG- 7d ago

Is it in vain if the dick is that good?

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u/iRambes 7d ago

Vein 😎

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u/iRambes 7d ago

Sex so good it makes you believe in things you don’t currently believe in

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u/TwistedCherry766 7d ago

As an atheist I mostly say oh fuck, oh shit, etc.

Or jesusfuckingchrist all one word.

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u/azzanrev 7d ago

"OHHHH!!!! RICHARD DAWKINS!!!!!"

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u/bill_the_brainy 7d ago

why is sex a bad thing, That's the real question.

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u/WyvernByte 7d ago

Oohh natural selection!

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u/uncgargoyle2 7d ago

Oooooohhhhhh SCIENCE BE PRAISED!!!

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u/Palpatine 7d ago

It's definitely not in vain. What do you think the gods had in mind when they commanded men to go forth and multiply, making test tube babies?

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u/kenny_hearse117 7d ago

Oh Chemical chance, chemical chance!! I miss bill!

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u/cas_ridingbreeches 7d ago

I'm an atheist and I say "oh god" all the time...

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u/MinotaurMaddness 7d ago

They don't they use the lords name in vagina

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u/Klexobert 7d ago

They say: "Oh big bang." Because its the oh big bang indeed.

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u/Carnator369 7d ago

The church doesn't believe in the female orgasm after all.

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u/Adorable-Ad-3223 7d ago

Idk it mostly sounds like mhpmffs! But to be fair the ball gag isn't helping with diction.

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u/Some-Pomegranate215 7d ago

Oh my science! I’m gunna pollinate all over you

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u/Least_Eggplant1757 7d ago

It’s always funny when religious people don’t understand that atheists don’t worship anything.

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u/Key-Regular674 7d ago

They forgot to capitalize the name "Vain"

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u/pygmyrhino990 7d ago

I've never met a single atheist who understands what it means to take God's name in vain

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u/AfterbirthEli 7d ago

Imagine believing in a god and then calling it out during sex.

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u/Codename_Paradox 7d ago

Oh evolution? Who said all atheists believe in evolution I scream ohhhhh shit I'm underage

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u/snksleepy 7d ago

"OH selective breeding!"

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u/TheBarkingGallery 7d ago

I don’t know why Christians should ever have to cry out, “Oh, God! Oh, God!” for their omnipresent deity, since he should have been up their hoohahs all along.

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u/vagueblur901 7d ago

oh Darwin

2

u/Puzzleheaded-Item-94 7d ago

I just say “fuck” lmao.

2

u/brayns123 7d ago

Should use evolutions name in vain 💀

2

u/HoratioHarisson 7d ago

People who actually know their Bible know that his name isn't actually God and therefore you wouldn't be saying his name in vain.

I'm ready for the downvotes