r/therewasanattempt 14d ago

To smuggle 58 kilograms of cocaine to Belgium from Peru in packages with a swastika on them.

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46.3k Upvotes

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6.1k

u/PhilthyPhatty 14d ago Silver Gold Table Slap

White powder!

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u/MeasureTheCrater 14d ago Gold

Am I reich?!

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u/Vaivaim8 13d ago Table Slap

Only if it's fhurer good time

83

u/Curious_Working5706 13d ago

I wonder if that’s the smugglers’ Third stReich?

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u/BrettBarrett95 13d ago

It’s actually 4th Industrial Revo

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u/Maximum-Exam4445 13d ago

I think he went full gas this time

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u/have_u_seen_my_keys 13d ago

That thread is SS tier humor

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u/arftism2 13d ago

i just want to pervitin my nose.

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u/bjarke_l 13d ago

I did nazi that coming!

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u/SC2DreamEater 13d ago

Maybe this was the diversion and they really did Nazi the whole thing

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u/czechsoul 13d ago

heil no, you were coked up like a messerschmitt!

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u/WelcomeFormer 14d ago

I find that really weird, does this have anything to do with the fact that there are a bunch of Germans living in South America? After world war II a lot of Nazis left for Argentina and were given safe haven, from what I hear was actually happening beforehand and had nothing to do with fleeing and more expansion. I'm also very stupid lol I haven't fact checked everything but that's what I've heard.

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u/OnlyOneChainz 14d ago

Not really a thing in Peru. There is a small German minority in Oxapampa and Pozuzo in Peru, but they came way before WWII.

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u/DoNotCommentAgain 14d ago edited 14d ago

I don't think anyone would have noted if those communities grew by a couple dozen people in 1945.

The Nazis who fled to South America didn't set up huge towns with swastikas everywhere. They integrated into already established German communities which largely went unnoticed.

It took the Israelis years, sometimes decades to find even the highest ranking Nazis that hid amongst these communities.

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u/WelcomeFormer 14d ago

Yeah I think it was mainly Argentina but it also could be bullshit, I do remember recently hearing that they came before world war II though which is why I brought that up. Do they have entire towns there? Or even Argentina if you know? It's easy to say something and then it gets repeated until it's the truth, I feel like if there was Nazis coming in it was probably a minority after expansionism

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u/creepythingseeker 14d ago

Im so Führerious over these insensitive jokes.

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u/gudy2shuz 13d ago

Anne Frank-ly, I think they should stop!

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u/SloRiceix_801 14d ago

White lines matter!

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u/Open_Pineapple1236 14d ago

Going through my mind. Something of a phenomenon, baby....

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u/kbeks 14d ago

Tellin your body to come along,
but white lines blow away…

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u/SufficientStomach846 14d ago

The way I CACKLED at this comment 😂

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u/Some_Guy8765678 14d ago

I think you mean CRACKLED.

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u/DerPumeister 14d ago

Hey guys, what's a good way to not draw attention to these packets?

9.3k

u/RobbertDownerJr 14d ago Gold All-Seeing Upvote Take My Energy hehehehe Bravo Grande! Table Slap I'll Drink to That Lawyer Up I'm Deceased That Smile

Put swastikas on them so they will nazi them!

1.3k

u/CapriciousCape 14d ago

I think that's the best "not see" pun I've heard

729

u/RobbertDownerJr 14d ago

I don't know about the best, but it's reich up there for sure.

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u/[deleted] 14d ago

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u/say_it_aint_slow 14d ago

Shirley you can't mean that.

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u/Melhoney72 14d ago

I am serious, and don't call me Shirley!

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u/NecessaryRisk2622 14d ago

Don’t call me Shirley.

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u/[deleted] 14d ago

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u/kishenoy 14d ago

This makes me fuhrerious

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u/MyDucksAreCute 13d ago

It was Hitlerarious though...

(Sorry....)

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u/Level69Warlock 14d ago

That’s a pretty good world war pun

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u/ScubaTonyCozumel 14d ago

Wow, this guy puns

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u/Sprizys 14d ago

It’s the 3rd one won’t get caught.

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u/QueenVic69 14d ago

Well hiel certainly remember it.

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u/Jamster_1988 14d ago

I'm Fuhrerous I didn't think of it first!

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u/thereturnofthebjerg 14d ago

Could of also gone plural for the "not seize"

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u/Responsible_Public15 14d ago

They actually had two shipments. One with the swastikas and one with John cena. It's obvious which of the two was more effective.

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u/oldschoolwhitegirl 14d ago

Look no Fuhrer for the best puns

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u/PM_YOUR__BUBBLE_BUTT 14d ago

Oh my god, you’re reich!

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u/Double_Lab_765 14d ago

You bastard. Fine. Take my up vote.

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u/Judge_Hot 14d ago

Those were the decoys

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u/Some_Guy8765678 14d ago

Then who filled the decoys with cocaine!?

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u/Judge_Hot 14d ago

Don Adolfo Hernández, the nice old Argentinian man.

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u/ScrotumMcBoogerBallz 14d ago

Just enough cocaine to trigger a positive result. The rest is probably flour or something

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u/Bartley-Moss 14d ago

Godammit Randy!

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u/bwillpaw 14d ago

Yes probably. Narcos tipped off the police about this container and while they are distracted with that they shipped in hundreds of kilos elsewhere.

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u/duaneap 14d ago

Do the police send everyone to the one thing?

I’d buy it as Narcos giving this up as a sacrifice in a “Hey, look, you get this win! Didn’t you do well!” in the interest of fooling people to think they’re making a difference, but not really as a distraction necessarily.

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u/Porkchopp33 14d ago

Who ever hatched this plan has since been “removed” from the Gang

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u/zaknafien99 14d ago

Yeah that's not going to raise any... Red Flags ...

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u/WhuddaWhat 14d ago

"they'll love this shit in Europe"

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u/velhaconta 14d ago

The swastikas are branding.

Once the packages were found, they were going to draw attention even with nothing printed on them.

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u/YamahaFourFifty 14d ago

Makes me wonder if they purposely did this to a smaller shipment to draw attention away from a much bigger one..

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u/scifiwoman 14d ago

That's what passed through my mind as well. Watching "Banged Up Abroad" when drug mules are paid thousands to smuggle drugs, I think sometimes it's a set up. Like there might be an arrangement with the customs officer, with the drugs Kingpin saying "I'll give you these muppets, but let the next pair of mules go through" So the drug mules are SOOL and have to try to survive in a foreign prison.

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u/bluetuxedo22 14d ago

Just write "cocaine" on them. - No you idiot that will draw attention, here put these discreet swastikas on.

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u/DesmodontinaeDiaboli 13d ago

We'll disguise this cocaine as meth, Brilliant!!

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u/lilmilkguyX 14d ago

Some of these cartels want to get caught as a distraction

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u/DinglieDanglieDoodle 14d ago

Meanwhile, 50 times of this amount in packages with the Star of David made it through, because the custom agents are too busy with this.

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u/kudman77 14d ago

were they advertising the white purity?

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u/MakingBigBank 14d ago

Where will the packages be? Seriously my guy you can’t miss them. They’re the ones with the big swastika on them!

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u/datpurp14 14d ago

Narrator: They didn't miss them.

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u/TheeMrBlonde 14d ago

Boss: Hey, label that white powder!

Underling who clearly misheard them: okay boss, not sure why you'd wanna do that but hey, you're the boss

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u/CricketPinata 13d ago

Cocaine Logo Branding can mean a lot of things. Typically, it is to indicate the organization shipping it. The Sinaloa Cartel uses a scorpion, for instance.

It can also be rather cheeky, you see a lot of logos from movies, sports teams, corporate logos, flags, stars, cartoon characters, etc. They can often be symbolic if you want to look it at that way, or something else.

You were on the right train of thought, "this shit is so pure white it's a fuckin' Nazi!" Might have been the joke.

Or it could be the logo for genuine white power/neo-Nazi affiliated group they often deal in drugs or weapons to to fuel their efforts.

So it could be because they thought this was funny or outlandish, it could be a pun, it could be a symbol for the affiliated grouo, or it could be some kind of tracking/organization system. Logos have been affiliated with all of those and there are no true standardization as every operation works a little differently.

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u/[deleted] 13d ago

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u/throwsaway654321 13d ago

That's what we're calling the CIA now? Seems appropriate given gestures vaguely everything.

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u/chadbarrett 13d ago

In Berlin I got MDMA at a club with a nazi logo because, “it was pure and will fuck you up so much you may end up in Poland” at least that’s what the dealer claimed. Lots of skin heads out there too.

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u/conanmack 14d ago

They were appeasing the consumer

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u/Rammipallero 14d ago

Looks like this was a care package from Peru to the Third Reich and post just did an 80 year fuck up to them. :D

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u/HillbillyEulogy 14d ago

I thought the Nat-C's whole thing was amphetamines.

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u/Rammipallero 14d ago

It was. But when you don't have meth, you can always do coke.

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u/El_Chairman_Dennis 14d ago

I feel like you have that backwards. Nobody goes from meth to coke. That's like saying you can't afford your civic so you're trading it in for a BMW

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u/Rammipallero 14d ago

Well the Germans would deffinitely have done that trade. :D

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u/kitsunelover123 13d ago

Lol amphetamines were used by the Allies as well

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u/dodorian9966 14d ago

Peruvian efficiency is no joke.

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u/bopaz728 14d ago

“for the war effort, love from - Peru ❤️”

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u/theRealNihilist911 14d ago

To add to this....the packages also had Hitler in printed on the inside. Weird. Link to image.

https://www.reddit.com/r/N_N_N/comments/13sec9x/more_on_those_peruvian_cocaine_packages_they_had/

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u/Puzzleheaded_Two_36 14d ago

Maybe these were sent for him, got sucked into a wormhole and arrived 80 years later?

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u/rugbyj 13d ago

If your smuggling scheme is better explained by time travelling Hitler hijinks than your actual intentions then it might be a bad scheme.

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u/OGBrewSwayne 14d ago

I feel like drug cartels don't get enough credit for how well they wrap and package their product. I know every year when I'm wrapping Xmas gifts, the first 3 or 4 come out flawless, but after that, I gradually begin to give fewer and fewer fucks about presentation to the point where the last several gifts don't even get wrapped, and instead are just thrown in a gift bag with some wadded up tissue paper on top.

If they ever decide to get out of the drug game or if a team of black ops agents ever shuts them down, they still have options. Having a fall-back career is smart on their part.

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u/[deleted] 14d ago

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u/Illustrious-Peak3822 14d ago

A minor plot point in Hitman 2 - Half baked map.

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u/Jojoangel684 14d ago

They steal packing machines from factories

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u/CoffeeIsSoGood 14d ago

You really think cartels and the like steal packing machines, when they have their own private jets, tanks, politicians on their payroll, etc?

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u/FustianRiddle 14d ago

Just because they're rich with drug money doesn't mean they're not super cheap too.

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u/DuelingPushkin 14d ago edited 14d ago

But they also take risk mitigation seriously. I'm not going to claim to know the ins and outs so I don't know if it's worth it to them to steal them or not but if they were stealing them it wouldn't be because they are cheap. There is a significant risk of getting caught and it also raises the operations profile with law enforcement.

I would tend to suspect they'd rather just buy them legitimately for a front business and then just funnel a portion of the machines out the back to the drug operation.

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u/Mister_Bloodvessel 14d ago

But they also take risk mitigation seriously.

The tunnels they built into El Paso were literally designed by engineers. They engineered these tunnels over long distances and have exits inside existing houses in the town. If they really want people and product moved, it will get into the US. If the want money transferred out, it will get out.

They have intelligence networks and pull in more money than some (several, probably) countries.

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u/DuelingPushkin 14d ago

Of course they're going to move product and take steps to make that process more efficient because that's essential to the business. My point is that they don't take unnecessary risks when there is a less risky option to accomplish the same task.

The intel network is part of that risk mitigation.

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u/Chem_BPY 14d ago edited 14d ago

Doubt it. This would draw WAY too much attention. These organizations are like fortune 500 company rich. And most equipment needs to be custom built for the products. Most likely they can afford to pay engineers to build custom rigs. I know it's fiction, but kind of like Gustavo Fring hiring the German engineering team to build his underground lab ala breaking bad.

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u/SincereChimichanga 14d ago

Or just buy them with the stacks of cash they have from international drug trades.

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u/whitewail602 14d ago

I imagine the threat of being forced to watch your family be dismembered just before they cut your face off is a pretty strong motivator to maintain good quality control.

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u/WorkInPr0g 14d ago

Exactly

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u/ButtonholePhotophile 14d ago

Is that what we need to do to get kids to answer all five questions on their worksheet? Hmmm….

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u/SaintUlvemann 14d ago

My husband is a Sp. Ed. teacher. We had to stop the episode we were watching for him to vent a bit the other day because one of his students was upset about having to redo an assignment that they had turned in blank, and was asking him to resend a file they couldn't find.

After telling the student that if they couldn't find the file they would have to wait until Monday because he was off the clock, the situation resolved itself, when the student scrolled up in their messages, and found the file.

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u/of-no-renown 14d ago

does your husband have cartel connections?

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u/SaintUlvemann 14d ago

If he does, he has kept them very secret from me.

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u/PM_Best_Porn_Pls 14d ago

Good, don't let cartel find out about your existence.

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u/El_Chairman_Dennis 14d ago

I'm a Para, and I'm pretty sure I've been in that exact same situation lol

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u/Elawn 14d ago

I gradually begin to give fewer and fewer fucks about presentation

Have you tried doing cocaine?

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u/punppis 14d ago

I've never thought about this. How the fuck you pack powder into almost perfect rectangle? I'm sure its compressed but still.

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u/Legion2481 14d ago

Vacuum sealer with the filled bag in a form. Possibly also a pressed form before sealed.

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u/HillbillyEulogy 14d ago

Don't ask me how I know this, but that's pretty dead on. Form plus a press worked with a vice and just the right amount of humidity to make sure what sticks stays stuck.

Slapping a fricking nazi armband on your kilos is a terrible idea.

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u/cyberslick1888 14d ago

Humidity never helps, you lose product.

Bricks made at the country of origin still have a ton of processing agents left in them, it increases bulk weight (and is also why modern cocaine sucks even when you get it right off the "boat" so to speak), so they don't need anything other than pressure to form into bricks.

99% of people aren't getting these, they are getting cut and re-cut and re-re-cut cocaine, and many customers naively believe that brick cocaine must mean it's a chunk from an uncut block.

So most street level guys for convenience or because of dumb customers will spray the power quickly with acetone to help it rock up and become hard, using a home made vise or press like you've suggested.

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u/gteriatarka 14d ago

this guy cocaines.

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u/Zestyclose_Kick_8860 14d ago

100% true, this is why when you see a big coke bust they almost always have a hydraulic press for making new bricks

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u/[deleted] 13d ago edited 9d ago

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u/dabman694201337 14d ago

Press the brick, stamp It, wrap it and vac seal, press it again

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u/wyattears 14d ago

Do your little baggies have knotsie symbols on em too? Seems like a weird move given that shit (nazi propaganda) is illegal in much of Europe.

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u/Mangoh1807 14d ago

I mean, cocaine is also illegal in much of Europe.

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u/HATECELL 14d ago

They should've put some more effort in and coat the cocain bricks with chocolate

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u/Broken-Digital-Clock 14d ago edited 14d ago

Or, instead of a swastika, put an "H" for hornets. No one will want to open that.

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u/hobbes_shot_first 14d ago

You've just created a new street top seller.

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u/HATECELL 14d ago

Breaking News: Panzerschokolade 2 announced

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u/YiddishMcSquidish 14d ago

Blitzkrieg zwei: even the kids are high

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u/BDiddy_420 14d ago

Does that make it more illegal?

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u/DeveloperBRdotnet 14d ago

I think so, most places will charge them when with drug trafficking and promotion of Nazi stuff

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u/Confident-Local-8016 14d ago

Belgium probably will lol

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u/kjolmir 14d ago

No it's double negative, so it's ok.

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u/XxLockdownZxX A Flair? 14d ago

Can't tell if they wanted to hide the fact they had cocaine on board by covering it with a swastika on the package

Or the other way around....

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u/Bo0_Radley- 14d ago

Breaking NEWS HEADLINE: 58kg of cocaine seized by Belgian authorities!!

Word on the street headline: 258kg of cocaine safely made it to the distributor’s!

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u/P4azz 14d ago

You're joking, but that's kinda how it works. I'm not in the drug game, but I've seen some interviews and when it came to the question of "wait, so how were you discovered" it essentially turned out to be a deal.

One guy gets sold out, so the bigger stuff going on in the background gets protected. The authorities are content with catching someone rather than no one.

I would not really be surprised if they tried to make this shit as obvious as possible to give the popo a manageable bust, rather than blowing actual holes in their real operation.

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u/Bo0_Radley- 14d ago

I’m half joking. As in half serious. I know that’s how it works. Not even that big of a shipment in the grand scheme of things.

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u/LilMartinii 13d ago

Have you ever watched those airport documentaries?

They flag some super obvious smuggler, waste hours & and a dozen of staffs on them, and all I can think is how they're either a cover or a "bribe". Sometimes, they even have people purposely being suspicious with nothing on them.

Cartels are far more clever than we think.

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u/THarSull 13d ago

another aspect is the fact that they're moving so much material through so many different routes, with semisubmersible speedboats, planes, and coercing migrants to take stuff across borders, that even if some of it gets intercepted, they'll still have some to sell at the other end, which also contributes to the high value of the product, as the scarcity imposed by shipments being captured inflates the price even further than it already would be.

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u/Outrageous-Step6947 14d ago

Yeah I was questioning the same thing. Make this very obvious, almost like a false flag to distract from the actual shipment.

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u/[deleted] 14d ago

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u/steelerfaninperu 14d ago

The number of Peruvians who don't understand the severity of the swastika, especially in Europe, is remarkable.

I once hung out with this Peruvian dude. Went bar hopping and met some German girls who seemed quite interested in us, until my dude just put his hand up heil style and asked "So what's up with Hitler?"

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u/Redriot6969 14d ago

Shes like, IDK MF ASK ARGENTINA lol

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u/steelerfaninperu 14d ago

They went into a cold sweat, said they'd be going to get a sandwich, and were never seen again.

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u/TeensyTrouble 14d ago

They were probably hitler in disguise and got nervous about being uncovered

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u/geiwosuruinu 13d ago

All Germans are Hitler. Definitely

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u/aCucking2Remember 14d ago

Chile doesn’t get enough shit for this. One of the top officials in the government of the military dictator was a literal nazi that came over. Just pick up where you left off why don’t you.

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u/Rexssaurus 14d ago

And his son is one of the top rated politicians from the far right, spreading hate and justifying genocide to this day. Nazism is not over 💀

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u/[deleted] 14d ago

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u/MyDogHasAPodcast 13d ago

"So what's up with Hitler?"

I read this like a Seinfeld bit. What's the deal with this Hitler guy?

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u/Bowling4rhinos 14d ago

The Boys from Brazil

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u/Elcorcell 13d ago

Latin Americans in general only see it as the bad guys symbol, most are rather ignorant or straight up don't care about the atrocities of the war since it didn't happen close to us

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u/cyberslick1888 14d ago

I'm German and you get this stuff anywhere. People just think they are being edgy or funny. Sometimes it is, usually it isn't.

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u/ILikeBubblyWater 14d ago

German here, went to a German restaurant in Wichita Kansas with my US gf back then. Americans sat next to us noticed me explaining my gf how to pronounce stuff. First thing they asked me "are you German? What do you think about the Holocaust" i was just dumbfounded.

Like what do they expect me to say "was a pretty good example of German efficiency" or what...

I just told them it was obviously fucking awful and turned around.

The owner of the restaurant offered me a job on the spot though because of my accent which was funny

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u/DBnofear 14d ago

58 is a weird number, some cop got the other 2 kilos.

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u/whererebelsare 14d ago

That's alright only 56 kilos made it into the transport to the precinct.

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u/P4azz 14d ago

At least they got those 54kg safely into the evidence chamber.

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u/CosbySweaters1992 14d ago

“Uhhh Chief, I thought we had 52kg but I’m only counting 50kg now.”

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u/[deleted] 14d ago

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u/alexdevio 14d ago

"Has anyone seen that 30kg of cocaine we booked in last week?"

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u/eyekill11 14d ago

The sheet says 35kg of cocaine was shipped to the Antwerp HQ.

Whoops! Sorry boss. My 2's look like 3's. That's 25kg.

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u/LeotheLiberator 13d ago

I just got that paperwork for the 20kg of cocaine.

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u/BillyBobHenk 13d ago

Ayo someone left that 10kg of cocaine we found outside of the evidence locker, someone put it away.

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u/scarneedshisownmovie 13d ago

Has anyone seen my cocaine?

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u/superbhole 14d ago

"what's that? only 15 kilograms left? oh well"

"Sir, fift--" "wellllp, I best be hittin the ol dusty trail... lock up for me will ya, tiger?"

"But wh--" "thaaaanks bud gottagohastaluego"

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u/Correct-Junket-1346 14d ago

Could be bait though, it’s known that sometimes they’ll put a smaller shipment that’s easily suspected whilst smuggling through a larger shipment whilst the supposed diversion drugs are getting inspected

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u/United-Ride5296 14d ago

That’s what I’m assuming. No way do you make the most outrageous drug bust by accident

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u/Embarrassed_Alarm450 13d ago

I wonder if they cut it too, just like 99% baking soda with 1% drugs mixed in so it still shows up as drugs with field tests, keep them busy with mostly baking soda while the real shipments slip through as they're occupied...

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u/AfricanusEmeritus 13d ago

That is so cynical that it is also so true. lol.

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u/Available-Camera8691 14d ago

This is fake. He didn't do a little bit off the knife to prove it like they do in the very accurate movies.

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u/ItalicisedScreaming 14d ago

This seems so fishy. I mean, the smugglers really could just be that dumb, but this looks like it was intended to draw attention.

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u/SpanishDutchMan 14d ago

exactly this, while they are occupied with a bunch of throwaway cocaine that gets attention all over the news, they're doing another run far more valuable.

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u/[deleted] 14d ago

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u/Lots42 14d ago edited 14d ago

The comic book series Transmetropilitan. The journalist wore a bunch of really obvious listening devices so security would confiscate those. They were meant as a distraction from the really tiny, cutting edge tech listening device.

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u/Mano0v 14d ago

Get your panzer chocolate here, get 3 pay for 2!

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u/marquisdc 14d ago

Because nothing says nondescript packaging like a swastika…

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u/Akiman1 14d ago

They learned that it is easy to cross the belgian border when you have a swastika. But they forgot the Panzer 1's and Panzer 2's so it didn't work

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u/butlem 14d ago

Lmao next we're gonna see them wrap their product in 60mm of steel

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u/Fresh-Honeydew7104 14d ago

55kgs you mean.

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u/Heritas83 14d ago

Those 53 kgs will get them into a lot of trouble.

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u/ToshibaTaken 14d ago

Police chief will surely reward them for putting all those 48 kgs in the seized goods facility.

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u/essdii- 14d ago

The media will praise the force for confiscating 42 kilos of cocaine. Good for them

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u/JoeyIsMrBubbles 14d ago

Genuine question here. What can a police force realistically be expected to do with 40kg of cocaine?

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u/OzzieOxborrow 14d ago

They will probably destroy all of the 35kg cocaine that they found.

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u/Gorz0th 14d ago

When the fuhrer's drugs show up like 80 years behind schedule

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u/PraiseGawdBarebones 14d ago

Brazil, sure. Peru? Who knew?

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u/saganperu 14d ago

The Coca plant is native to the Andes, Bolivia, Peru and Colombia are the closest to the product

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u/Synchrotr0n 14d ago

Smuggling drugs inside containers is for amateurs. They need to step up their game by loading drugs directly into the presidential aircraft.

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u/LiterallyHotler 14d ago

They recieve those stickers when they pass through Argentina

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u/luzer_kidd 14d ago

While the 58 were being caught, hundreds were probably passing in.

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u/BlackSmithOP 14d ago

Jesse, wir müssen kochen!

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u/Hazilon 14d ago

I think they were high when they took this executive decision

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u/Dorrono 14d ago

Soon on Netflix: Cocaine Hitler

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u/ARNE_PR0 14d ago

Morons, you're supposed to ship those to Antwerp in banana containers

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u/Lepanush 14d ago

I think those packages were meant to be caught.

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u/sugmaul 14d ago

wearing camouflage and a hi-vis vest seems like an interesting choice

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u/panicpropeller 13d ago

Checks out. I think they were supposed to go through Russia.

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u/IsThisLegitTho 13d ago

I think this was the distraction package, and the real payload made it through.

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u/capchaos 14d ago

The police immediately photographed, and entered into evidence, all 57 kilograms of cocaine.

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u/jurrasicwhorelord 14d ago

50kg of cocaine you say?

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u/The_Irish_Empire 14d ago

48g of Cocaine was dropped off at the Evidence locker

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u/DBnofear 14d ago

That number definitely stared at at least 60.

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u/matahoo84 14d ago

I miss the good ol' days when the guards would just give it the old sniff and taste test. I'm sure they were much happier then.

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u/in_u_endo______ 14d ago

Give them one obvious af truck, and get 12 others through.

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