r/tifu 13h ago Wholesome Silver Helpful You Dropped This Take My Energy Hugz

M TIFU by breaking my house, ruined my marriage, and my entire life.

10.4k Upvotes

My wife (43f) and I (44m) have been married for 23 years and together for 24. We've been having problems for months that centered on this guy she works with. At first she told me he had a thing for her and then after they started hanging out outside of work the. She said he didn't and was just a friend. This includes going and doing stuff without telling me about it. When I found out about that I got upset and told her to cut off contact with him because I wasn't comfortable with her doing stuff with a guy she said had a thing for her and not telling me about it. You can call me a controlling husband but if our roles were reversed I would have gladly cut off contact. In fact, I ruined relationships with my family because she thought they didn't like her and never thought twice about it. She eventually did tell him to fuck off but has been very sour about it.

We argued about it and I definitely get mad but according to her, it just isn't that big of a deal. She's sorry I got hurt but not for anything she did which really hurt even worse and made me have trust issues.

Yesterday she was driving and I was using her phone for GPS as mine doesn't work right. While doing that she got a text from a number with no name about how they're going to he seeing each other today. At first she tried to play it off like it was a wrong number. The only problem is that I recognized it as his and called her out on it. Then she admitted that it was from him and that they've been talking and hanging out while never saying a word about it and acting like she's so hurt because she lost a friend.

Here's where the major FU part comes. When I got home I was hurt worse than I ever have been which made me mad so I started breaking stuff. It started with my stuff but it spread to hers too. I know how abusive that is and I own that. It's one thing to be hurt and upset but I crossed a line big time and it's not one I can go back over. I ruined my marriage.

She's gone to her mom's and took our dog and 18 year old son with her. She's not coming back and I don't blame her at all. I managed to ruin not just my marriage but my entire life all because I couldn't control my anger. Before all this started she was my best friend and love of my life. Now I'm alone in the broken shambles of what used to be our life and I'm going to lose that too because neither one of us can afford to keep this place.

Words can't describe how much I hate myself and everything about me right now. I hate this person that I've become.

TL : DR. I got mad at my wife and became an abusive asshole who is going to lose everything and I deserve it.


r/tifu 17h ago Helpful

S TIFU by being too open-minded on a post looking for roommates.

13.1k Upvotes

TIFU by being too open-minded on a post looking for roommates.

Pretty much the title. My post looking for roommates in NYC said "open to 420+/LGBTQ+/pets+/whatever just be normal." I thought I was being open and accepting. Pay your rent and don't be creepy were my basic parameters.

So, a heroin addict moved in and shortly after a girl I had never seen before overdosed and died in my apartment.

Later, the roommate told me that he assumed the 420+ meant hard drugs were good to go. That's why he moved in. I didn't mean 420+ like that.

Now I've seen a dead person and bags of needles and a dead person in a body bag, in the same night.

I guess it was her second time doing heroin. She was hammered drunk. They gave her Narcan but it didn't work well enough apparently.

The roommate was a surprisingly good dude and a friend. He is clean and sober now.

I'll never have random roommates again.

Don't do drugs, kids.

TLDR: posted looking for roommates saying 420+ whatever was fine and roommate's friend overdosed on heroin and died.


r/tifu 21h ago Silver Helpful

S TIFU by letting my Mother use my phone

4.1k Upvotes

This happened yesterday and still a bit shaken by it, My mother who I thought was a nice woman found out about my girlfriend who I have been dating for 4 months now, i was hiding the relationship because I knew or I thought I knew how she would react until yesterday, she went and snooped on my phone and found out about me and my girlfriend. She wasn’t mad but she said the most disrespectful thing I’ve ever heard from her, my girlfriend is Vietnamese and African American and I thought she would accept that but she said that I was desperate, and I could do better, and even asked why is she black. I was heartbroken and I don’t know what to do or say. And she has yet to apologize for her words she even called me disgusting for liking her, I told her I love her and she just laughed at my face I don’t have anyone in my family who will support me. And I told her when we move to Canada there will be people like her there and she looked baffled and even said “No there isn’t bobo (stupid) “ I never knew she can be like this, I resent this family

TL;DR my Mother is extremely racist


r/tifu 13h ago Wholesome

L TIFU by proposing to my partner in Mexico

379 Upvotes

Obligatory, this happened last week and is a continuing saga…

Last week I (M44) took my partner (F44) and her daughter (12) and my sons (12, 16) on a vacation to Puerta Vallarta, Mexico. I got 2 suites… one for the kids and one next door for the romantic couple. In addition to typical plans of surfing, swimming with dolphins, zip lining, etc., which we’re all amazing… I arranged a very special surprise… a romantic private dinner at sunset on the beach for my partner and I.

Beforehand I talked to my partner’s daughter and told her I wanted to ask her Mommy to be my partner forever and for us to all be a family together. I asked her if that would be alright and she said “yes.” I also talked to both of my boys and made sure they were fully on-board as well.

Everyone was excited about the plan so I told them they’d be able to see us from the balcony of the hotel, but that I also wanted them to come join us at 8:00 so they could be there when I would pop the big question.

Dinner was perfect. A private chef served us an amazing bottle of wine followed by a terrific salad and delicious authentic enchiladas with beans and rice. And then our kids came down almost perfectly on time. They’d all taken it upon themselves to shower and do their hair, and replaced their swimsuits (my partner’s daughter wore an adorable dress and both of my boys donned slacks and polo shirts).

With a picture perfect sunset over the ocean I got down on one knee (in retrospect, that’s when I first felt the storm inside beginning to rumble, but let’s ignore it for now, just like I did in the moment). I told my partner that I was madly in love with her, that I loved the family we’d built together, and that I wanted to share a million more adventures together with her. Tears of happiness overflowed as I asked her if she’d be my forever and she said “yes!” We spent time hugging each other and with each of our kids as the sun set.

My partner’s daughter asked what she should call me now and we agreed on step-dad (I tried for “the coolest, most awesome guy in the world” but she thought that was too wordy). My 12yo acknowledged our commitment by similarly calling my partner his step-mom. We shared a wonderful dessert with the kids, had one last special group hug, signed la quenta, and began walking back to our room for what I’d expected would be a night of romance and passion to celebrate an amazing evening and it love for each other. I was soo badly mistaken.

It started out with a little rumbling and feeling flushed. But by the time we’d gotten the kids tucked in I was curled up in a ball on the bed sweating. I went through no less than 7 pair of underwear that night and left a trail of liquid shit from my bed to the toilet that only became truly visible in the light of day. But the worst of it has got to be the smell… I mean, shit never smells like cinnamon and candied apples, but this stuff isa whole new level of liquid evil that would make a dead man retch instantly. All happening right next to the woman who just pledged to spend the rest of her life by my side.

It’s been constant and consistent ever since. Every. Single. Night. I even packed extra underwear for the flight home, just in case I couldn’t get to the lavatory quickly enough. As we returned to my partner’s home in the U.S. I evaluated my condition and decided I was finally in the clear. My partner and I showered and snuggled into her bed together and drifted off to sleep… for a couple hours… and then my bowels became the Trojan horse of betrayal… while I peacefully slept next to the love of my life they exploded, spewing disaster and carnage that ensured complete destruction of all things holy. I had to wake her up to tell her what had happened as I watched the disorientation of peaceful dreams be replaced by a horrific reality.

I was rightfully banished to sleep on towels in the basement after that. And I slept at my own home the next night. We’ll see what the future holds, but as of now have yet to consummate our love and new commitment to each other.

TL/DR: I romantically proposed to my partner in Mexico, got a horrible case of diarrhea, and proceeded to shit all over everything.


r/tifu 2h ago

S TIFU by confronting my girlfriend about cheating on me

28 Upvotes

I HAD been dating this person for well over two years. It was all going very well, she seemed like a loyal caring person. But oh boy was I wrong. This all happened earlier this week Thursday august 11, 2022. My friend had hit me up, saying he had some bad news. I'm not one to over react, so i really thought nothing of it at the time. He later sent me dozens of screen shots of her talking with another man. And not just talking, sexting as well. I had no idea what to do. I wasted 2 years of my life on this person who i thought I'd be with forever. My mind was racing. She was at work when he told me this, so i had to wait 4 long hours until she got home from work. When she did, i confronted her with all of the proof. She claimed it was all "fake" but nobody know would or could possibly fake instagram DM's. We argued and argued and argued for hours. I eventually told her to pack her things and leave. And she did just that. She left and i thought that was the end of it. Well you could imagine how shocked i was to walk out to my car just to see my passenger side window smashed, my front and back driver side tires slashed, and a nice big penis spray painted on my hood. I have contacted the police, but i have no clue what will come of it.

TL;DR she got mad i caught her and she ruined my car

Edit: a lot of people are asking how my friend got the screen shots, he is buddy’s with the guy that she was exchanging lude photos with.


r/tifu 1d ago Wholesome Silver

S TIFU by giving my husband a 23andme kit for his birthday

19.5k Upvotes

TIFU by giving my husband a 23andme kit, because he found more than he was expecting.

He never knew who his father was, just a physical description and first name. His mother didn't bother tracking him down when she discovered (months later) that she was pregnant.

He wanted to find his father and mentioned he wanted to do a kit someday. So, when they went on sale, I picked one up for him. We sent it off the same day it arrived, and this week got the results.

A first cousin! Another cousin of his father's! And other cousin matches from that family. It was exciting, until one of the cousins sent him a message. 3 messages into the exchange they revealed that the family, and his father, has Huntington's disease, wishing my husband "good luck and God bless."

He's been referred for genetic testing and isn't showing any symptoms right now, but damn. We have kids. He didn't expect anything like this.

Tl;dr: bought a genetic kit for my husband and now he has a 50/50 shot of having a horrible, fatal disorder.

Edit: I realize now that, despite our initial intense shock and dismay, this is the opposite of a FU. I was blinded in the moment by an oppressive sense of guilt. I deeply appreciate all of the kind words and advice offered in this thread. I definitely didn't come here expecting so many supportive responses.


r/tifu 6h ago

S TIFU by telling my wife to STHU

65 Upvotes

TIFU and told my wife to sthu and i feel kinda bad about it. So my wife has developed this horrible habit of cutting me off when I talk. I don't mean interrupting me to add to what I'm talking about. I mean literally cutting me off mid story to talk about something else completely not related or to start her own story. I keep telling her how its rude and she either denies that she's doing it or blows it off. Today I had long day at work and was already irritable so when I started talking about what I wanted to do for my bday yesterday she just cuts me off . 1st time I let it slide. Continue my story does it again. This time I bring it to her attention and she denies it and tell me I was done talking... 3rd time I finally lose it and yelled "I wish you'd sthu and let me finish talking for once." Literally just came out without me thinking and obviously the mood is ruined for the night. I feel like she was wrong but I do feel my reaction was over the top and I took my long day at work out on her.

TLDR:got tired of my wife interrupting me and told her to sthu so now she won't talk to me and the night is ruined.


r/tifu 4h ago

S TIFU by not knowing the difference between hdmi and dp cable

12 Upvotes

I've had a prebuilt pc now for 4-6 years, when I first got it I knew jack and just put whatever cables were given into whatever ports they fit and figured out how to turn it on. Had both the hdmi and dp cable plugged in until some months ago, when I realised I should just take out the hdmi and leave the dp in.

Today, I realised that I don't need to buy a 120+ hz monitor, I already have one. I went to the display settings to try and figure out what monitor I have, and saw the option to change from 60 hz to 144 hz. I was very confused as I knew I'd checked it multiple times before and thought I had lost my mind, until I realised I couldn't change the refresh rate because the hdmi cable was plugged in all this time.

TLDR: Had hdmi and dp cable both plugged in for years, couldn't change monitor refresh rate from 60+. On the plus side I no longer need to buy a new monitor.


r/tifu 12h ago

M TIFU by confessing to my best friend

43 Upvotes

I [21M] met my best friend [21F] during a summer internship, and we hung out a lot. She and I were able to talk about deeper things and I felt like I could open up to her. I came from an abusive family, and I'd never experienced what love was before (romantic or otherwise). I never had anything like a hug or positive affirmation, and was born because my family wanted me to make money and take care of them. I've felt attracted to other girls, but she was the first one to make me feel this desire to be vulnerable and unconditionally kind to another person.

I've spoken with my therapist and understood that I should think carefully about my feelings, since it's easy to become very attached to someone if you're emotionally starved. After some time thinking, I decided that my feelings were from more than that, and I felt this way not just because she was nice to me.

I already had a feeling she didn't like me romantically, but I decided to tell her anyway since I didn't want to have any regrets, so I told her I liked he on the final day. She said she already had someone she liked, and just wants to be friends.

I cried in my room for a few hours before traveling back home. When I was waiting for a train I had a bad experience. My vision felt blurry, my body felt heavy, and and I felt like I was top of a slope heading down to the tracks. I was stumbling forward until someone snapped me out of it by telling me I was going to fall onto the tracks.

Yesterday when I got back home, I slept. Today I woke up and my body felt like a wreck, and I felt extremely depressed. My heart felt like it was going to burst, I was crying and hyperventilating until I passed out. I woke up in a hospital bed, and apparently I had experienced a stress induced heart attack.

I feel like an absolute loser. I'm told by people that I'm smart, and I've been able to do a lot despite having a horrible life for my first 18 years. And yet, something as simple as being rejected by a girl, who was honestly pretty nice about it, was enough to put me in the hospital. I feel like a broken mess of trauma and mental illness, and I can see why she didn't like me back now.

Tldr: Confessed to my best friend who I knew didn't like me back, got rejected, and landed myself in the hospital.

(Also apologies if this isn't the correct place to post this kind of thing, I know it's a bit intense)


r/tifu 2h ago

S tifu by always having to be perfect

7 Upvotes

Growing up I had to be perfect, at everything. At school I never had a grade lower than A+. I behaved the exact way people expected me, polite and quiet. I spent all my time studying.

So of course when I was 18 I wanted to go to the best college in our country(which I did) and of course I wanted to get the most prestigious degree in my country which I got.

I'm still at college and I already realized how much I hate my (future) job.

I don't have any hobbies because I never tried any, I don't know what my real personality is because I'm so damn used to being the nice quiet polite girl and I hate my life. All I like to do lately is distract myself with reddit. And the worst part is I tried so hard to get here that I can't even quit. Deep down I don't even want to quit because I still have to be perfect.

And it still isn't fcking enough for my parents

And I know some idiots who envy my life

TL ; DR : tifu because I tried so hard to have the perfect life and now everyone thinks i do except for myself. I'm the only one who realizes how miserable I am


r/tifu 20h ago

M TIFU by trying to give children a fun activity over summer break

150 Upvotes

I work in a nursery, we have two session times with some children staying for one session and going home (around 12pm) others starting at the second session and leaving after and children who stay through both sessions. I was recently (on friday) given the task of cleaning out our junk cupboard which is a room filled with resources, games, books, toys etc.

Whilst sorting through the cupboard, after the first session had ended and some children had went home, I happened across a pack of miniture 'grow your own' eggs that you dissolve in water and then grow an animal from.

Now, Friday was the last day that our nursery would be open before the new term starts and our preschool children move to reception. I figured it would be fun to give out the eggs to the children who were being collected at the end of the second session. They could grow them over the time we're closed and share photos and drawings with us via an app we all use. I counted how many eggs there were and made sure we had enough for the children going home from the second session onwards.

Fast forward to the end of the session and i was unable to give the eggs out but a colleague said they'd help and hand them out instead. All was fine.

This morning i decided to check the app to see if we had any uploads of eggs...

Instead i was greeted with messages from parents complaining that their child hadn't been given one, that their child had smashed the egg because the parent didn't know to put it in water, (instructions were given) that siblings were crying because the parents had told them they could ALL have one, and more messages. Not one parent said thank you and honestly I'm wondering how on earth a spontaneous attempt at giving children a fun experience has turned into such a crying fest.

Anyway, yeah TIFU. Fully expecting an email from the manager to tell us all that we cannot give out any spontaneous gifts to children anymore 🙃

TL;DR 'Grow your own' eggs cause chaos with entitled parents at nursery, spontaneous events most likely banned.


r/tifu 1d ago Silver Press F Helpful

S TIFU by overreacting when my gf passed gas

2.0k Upvotes

I was laying in bed with my girl friend and catching up on our day. Every thing was great until, in the middle of our conversation, she decides to break wind and it was the worst thing i have ever heard/smelled. It was so bad to the point that i suddenly jumped out of bed to escape the smell. in the process of doing so, i hear a “pop” and immediately dislocated my shoulder.

just when i thought it could not get any worse, i started to lose my vision and i fainted. I woke up 4 mins later to my girlfriend hovering over me crying because i was shaking when i passed out and she thought i was having a seizure.

As soon as i woke up i immediately throw up because I was so nauseous from the pain. In a sling for a few weeks, I can’t believe this is the reason why.

TL;DR: my girlfriend passed gas and it frightened me so badly that i jumped up from bed and dislocated my shoulder, fainted, and threw up everywhere.


r/tifu 16h ago

S TIFU by using an image from Google on my website.

63 Upvotes

I got slapped with a copyright infringement claim and ultimately had to settle for $750 for an image I never intended to use.

I started developing a website in WordPress about 8 years ago, and during that time I grabbed an image off of Google image search as placeholders while figuring out the layout.

The image never made it onto the live website, but I never actually deleted the demo page I used it on or thought to hide it from search engines. The website has gone many revisions since then, and ultimately I completely forgot about any of these early draft pages.

Well, the organization that holds the copyright to the image managed to use tools to find that image still sitting on my server 7 years later, and I got contacted by their law firm that they wanted over $2000 in damages.

The law is definitely on their side, it was a stupid lazy error on my part, and take this as a warning that you better have a license or permission for every image you use on your own websites.

TL;DR: I got fined $750 for using an image from Google search on my website.


r/tifu 15h ago

M TIFU by accepting a verbal job offer and ending up unemployed

50 Upvotes

TLDR: Got a verbal offer that I accepted, told my boss that I’ll be leaving for this job, company that offered the job eliminated the position and now I’m unemployed because my current employer isn’t renewing my contract and has already hired a replacement.

Since graduating college in May I have had an exceptionally hard time finding a job in my field of data analytics. Being a new graduate I don’t have industry experience, so out of every 50 or so entry level positions I applied to which almost all list 2+ years of experience required, I get about 1-2 interviews.

After my 120th or so application I hear back from a company that wants to interview me, great! The initial phone screen is a breeze and I’m immediately scheduled for a “real” interview in the next few days. This was a technical interview, but I was surprised how basic it was for a position asking for 2+ years of experience seeing as I learned the answers to all of their questions by the end of my sophomore year in college. I pass that with flying colors and I’m scheduled for a second interview with the data team lead.

The second interview goes even better than the last and by the end we have great rapport and are having more of a casual conversation than an interview. I’m then scheduled for a final panel interview to be conducted by a few other key members of the data team to vet me as a candidate and hear about my experience.

This third interview goes super well, and by the end of this one they explicitly tell me how much they like me and how I would be a great fit for the company and their team. I’m over the moon with how well this process has been, especially due to the massive number of no replies I’ve gotten from previous applications, as well as rejections before even getting an interview.

Fast forward two days from the final interview and I get a call from HR. They tell me that the company is going to send me an offer the next day if I’m still interested, and if so what day I can start! During this call they tell me that by the end of the second interview it was a yes, and the third it was a strong yes. They tell me that I did a lot better than other candidates did, and how much everyone enjoyed talking to me and how they were excited that I would be joining them if I accepted.

This is my first real job out of college so of course I’m going to accept it! I tell them that I’m very excited to receive the offer and will send it back to them as soon as I can!

And then nothing. Radio silence for days. I figure things are just moving slowly and I’ll get my offer by the end of the week. It doesn’t come, so I email HR. They tell me that things are still “processing”, and to just hold tight. By this point I’ve already told my employer who knows I’m looking for a new job that I’m going to be leaving for this one because they assured me that I was the best candidate and they wanted to hire me immediately. Because of this, my contract will not be renewed which expires at the end of the pay period, 8/15.

I finally get another update last night about the “processing”, and they tell me that the position that I’ve gone through three rounds of interviews for and presumably others have too is being “paused” and they’re no longer hiring for it.

After months of searching for a job and finally finding one that seems like a great fit where I love the people I’d be working with, it’s back to the drawing board except this time I’m even more stressed out because come Monday I won’t have a job anymore.


r/tifu 4h ago

S TIFU: by going to rapids right after my wedding ceremony

5 Upvotes

TIFU by going to some rapids right after my wedding

So today I got married to the love of my life- had a great ceremony with tons of friends and family and rings where exchanged.

A hour after the ceremony my friends wanted us to go down this rapids on tubes. I spoke to the wife and she wanted to see the water so she was down to go so we went!

We get to this rapids and I go down with a tube.. thought I was going to die. I fell off the tube right at the start so I hung onto that for dear life. I get stuck in a spot where the water seems to be sucking me down so I just hold on the tube and eventually I’m released and get to shore.

I go to my new wife to make sure she was watching me Cus well I’m pretty fucking awesome annnnndddd I lost my wedding band in the water.

I was married at 430 and the band was lost at like 8ish

Also I’m half cut right now so don’t bother correcting my grammar it’s my wedding day ok

TLDR: got married, went to rapids right after and lost my wedding ring in under 5 hours


r/tifu 18h ago

S Tifu by having to go shit in a porta potty and getting splashed

61 Upvotes

So I drink meds that sometimes make me have the shits. And those shits can't wait, you have to sit down and let it out like right there. So we were not home, and I got the shits. The only place I could go is the porta potty. So I go there. And then I didn't know about the trick where you put tp into the "soup" to avoid this. So I just can't stand the pain, I let it drop. And I get splashed by the "blue porta potty soup" right into my nether regions. (i am a girl, so i think its even worse because it go THERE aswell).

I cleaned myself up as best as I could, but i think im traumatised for life. I hope I aint alone in this, but at this point in my life, I think my life is so fucked up, that I wouldn't be surprised if I'm this fucking unlucky alone.

So should I plan my funeral, not only because I want to burn my lower body because ew, but also because i could've gotten some sickness?

Tldr: TIFU by having to shit in a porta potty, and it splashing my privates with the soup.


r/tifu 9h ago

S TIFU by going home for lunch

14 Upvotes

didn't happen today but in April of this year. I (17F) had been living with my grandparents since January so I could go to cosmetology school. the school was around 15 minuets from the house and we got an hour lunch everyday, so I would occasionally eat at home.

one day I was debating if I should wait out the hour in my car or drive home and eat real quick. I had a gut feeling that I should stay, but i was really bored and hungry so I took the drive.

long story short, he asked to see me naked for 100 bucks, and "all the smokes I want" (he would buy me vapes) I didn't know what to do. I felt so cornered. so I said okay and got TF OUT OF THERE (without doing anything). I kept my composure until I had left the neighborhood and then i lost it. I ended up calling my younger cousin (who he was picking up that day) and told her what happened and that she should NOT get in the car with him.

she broke down and the school got involved, and i was removed from the house. I no longer talk to either of them or anyone from their side of the family because they don't belive me. once I turned 18 a few weeks later my friends took me in but because they live an hour away from the school I had to drop out. the worst part is my dad had to find out what a monster his dad is. I feel so sorry for him. I kind of fucked up the whole family.

TLDR: went home for lunch and my grandpa asked to see me naked, effectively rendering me homeless and getting me kicked out of school


r/tifu 9h ago

S TIFU by missing my virtual job interview

7 Upvotes

Obligatory this happened yesterday and I'm still upset about it.

I had prepared almost everything for a job interview as a remote customer service agent. I live in a very rural town without a car so a job like that would be ideal for me.

I had a bad track record with interviews in the past so I practiced for days to get this one right. I was so excited for it. I warned everyone I live with to be quiet, I got our pets settled and I had even put on makeup for the first time in years.

But when it was actually time for the interview something popped up telling me I had to allow Google meet permissions. I tried to several times until I thought for sure I got it. But then the interview actually started and my recruiter couldn't see me. I was panicking I tried to tell her in chat and call into the interview with my phone but it didn't work.

TLDR: I fucked up a good opportunity because I didn't test Google Meet before my virtual job interview.


r/tifu 2d ago Gold Silver Platinum LOVE! Wholesome Helpful

M TIFU my entire night

18.9k Upvotes

First throwaway account I've ever created. Never thought I'd need one until now.

I'm a 19 year old guy and what I'm about to share happened two nights ago.

I'm not good at writing stories like most of the people who share their experiences on this sub, so I've taken a page out of the greentext handbook and listed the events:

  1. Girl on Tinder invited me to her house.
  2. Sex was implied.
  3. I've never had sex.
  4. I asked my roommate for advice.
  5. Roommate suggested I smoke weed before meeting Tinder Girl.
  6. I said okay.
  7. Roommate realized he was out of weed and made a new suggestion: shrooms.
  8. I said I've never had shrooms and asked if it was safe.
  9. Roommate said: "safe as long as you're not chronically depressed or some shit" and advised me to eat the shrooms with a chocolate bar to mask the bad taste.
  10. I said I didn't think I was depressed, but that might change once the night was over.
  11. Roommate supplied me with 2 grams of shrooms, which was mild according to him.
  12. I ate the shrooms with an orange and booked an Uber to take me to Tinder Girl's house.
  13. Uber driver's head was bigger than any human head I've ever seen, but it was too soon to confirm if I was experiencing shroom vision or meeting an Uber driver who happened to have a really big head.
  14. Uber driver's massive head was even bigger by time we got to my destination.
  15. It was indeed shroom vision.
  16. The moment I saw Tinder Girl in person, I noticed she was pregnant, 6 months and 22 days pregnant based on the details she provided before inviting me into her house.
  17. Tinder Girl apologized for not telling me about the pregnancy, but assured me the dad was no longer in the picture and sex was "suuuuuuper healthy" for unborn babies.
  18. I said I always wanted to have a threesome and laughed hysterically.
  19. I didn't understand what was so funny, but I was unable to stop laughing.
  20. Tinder Girl gave me a glass of water and asked if I wanted to sit down.
  21. I sat down on the carpet and noticed a handbag with a bird on it.
  22. I realized that if I concentrated on the bird, I could see it moving in slow motion towards the corner of the handbag.
  23. I have no idea how long I was staring at the bird, but at some point Tinder Girl managed to contact one of her neighbors, without me knowing, to come and escort me out of her house because my presence was making her uncomfortable.
  24. I walked home in the middle of the night because I was afraid I would end up with another big headed Uber driver.
  25. I got home with my virginity still intact, wondering what would've happened if that bird made it to the end of the handbag.

Next time, no drugs lol.

TL:DR Girl on Tinder invited me to her house to have sex. Being a virgin, I asked my roommate for guidance. He suggested shrooms. I ate the shrooms. Got high on the way to the girl's house. Found out the girl was 6 months pregnant when we met in person, which was a massive red flag that I ignored due to the condition I was in. Pregnant girl realized something was wrong with me and became so uncomfortable she called her neighbor to kick me out of her house and leave me on the street in the middle of the night.


r/tifu 12h ago

S TIFU by falling asleep and forgetting to turn off the garden hose

12 Upvotes

Well, more like YIFU I guess? But basically, me and my fam have two houses. The second one is currently undergoing huge makeovers so none of us live there, but we do go there, spend the afternoon and do 'small' work like watering the plants, mowing the lawn, setting up mole traps and refilling the pool when it empties itself (there's a leak at the bottom that is yet to be fixed, so water level can halven in four-ish days).

At my mom's request, yesterday at 10 PM I went to the second house because the lawn was drying up and I had to water it, and refill the pool if it was under optimal level. And so I did. Pool was at least 40cm under its optimal level, so I calculated it'd need like 2 hours to fill properly. I threw the hose into the pool after watering the lawn and went inside to rest for a bit and browse stuff on my phone.

Problem is, it was late at night and I had done a lot of physical effort for the day, so I fell asleep in less than 10 minutes. I woke up at 9 AM, walked outside and, to my horror, I had forgotten to turn off the hose. The pool was obviously overflowing a LOT, and the entire garden was FLOODED. Not a good sign, especially when there's currently water restrictions in my country. Water bill is gonna be an absolute nightmare this month.

TLDR I literally flooded my garden.